WWYD?

Hello, I have 4 year old twins - whom I adore more than I can say! We did a fresh IVF cycle in 2005 and transfered 2 5-day blasts. I love them with all of my heart and am dumbfounded how quickly they grow! I have longed for another baby since they turned two, it took some convincing from my hubby for a while though. LOL.

We had two frozen embryos from their cycle. In 2009, we did a FET with each embryo - trying for a singleton. Both cycles were a failure. For financial and emotional reasons, I figured we were done. My kids turned four this April and I had the crazy urge again. I figured if I didn't give it one more shot, I'd regret not trying! We met with our RE and had a long talk about how A) we love the twins but do not wish to have twins again B) there is part of me that feels like I missed out on the newborn stage because of the issues my babies had as infants, I really long to just have one baby to care for at a time from here on out C) we are finacially stable enough to care for one more baby and would like to have the opportunity to make our kids big brother/sister, extend our family and as parents, know what it is to have ONE baby.

We just went through our fresh cycle. My egg retrieval was yesterday. I had super ovaries and had a whopping 15 follicles on my left and 10 on my right (more than with my first). We were told yesterday, much to our dismay that only 12 eggs were retrieved from all those follicles. I called today with my fert. report and shockingly, only three eggs fertilized...they are now saying we should do a 3 day transfer and transfer two embryos. I have cried all day about this. It's not that I wouldn't love twins. I am concerned about what it would do to my marriage, to the kids we already have (limit extra cirricular activities for a while, etc), I'm concerned about bedrest with two active children to care for and quite honestly, I'm concerned for myself. I remember loving my babies as much as you can possibly love anyone but being COMPLETLEY exhausted and sleep deprived for over a year. My twins didn't sleep through the night until they were 10 months old and had severe reflux. So, here we are. Not trying to sound ungrateful because I do want another baby more than I can say, but I am terrified at the thought of having twins again. Selective reduction is not an option for me and I know that going in. So, I have to decide if $$K and the toll this has taken on my body is worth the risk of only transferring one or worse, transfer two because that is what is recommended and live with the fact that two more are on the way. I am sure it would work out and I would love what ever amount of babies my body would/could carry. It's just one of those things where I wonder if I will stand still for a moment and think to myself, what have I done?

I guess it boils down to would I be more upset to have none or more upset to have twins again...it just sucks that it comes down to this. Anyone transfer more than one 3 day and end up with a singleton? My doctors didn't have stats on this scenario or on the likelyhood of just transferring one because they said they only suggest transferring one on day 5...

WWYD??

 

I would just transfer 1 if you really just want 1. Only transfer as much as you can handle carrying and raising, (inmy opinion, of course

Not that I would neccessarily agree with it, but there are people who choose to selectively reduce twins to a singleton. Not sure if that is an option for you.

I hope you find find an answer that is right for you and your family!

Edited to ask...why can they not let them grow to day 5 blasts?? Success rates are higher, I believe

 

Could you transfer 1 day 5 blast?

We transferred 2 "poor quality" day 3 embryos and ended up with twins. I think I would only transfer what you think you can handle. If it doesn't work this time could you freeze the extra embryos and do an FET, which would be cheaper than another fresh cycle?

 

Hi, thanks for your reply. I understand some people use it and not judging, it's just selective reduction is not an option for me and I've already told the RE nurse that today. I asked also about letting the three grow to 5 day blasts and they said they are concerned that none of them would make it to 5 day. That my womb is the best place for these embryos on day 3.

So, there is the added stress in the decision that if we decide on one (which is what we decided before we even started this cycle) - there is a strong chance the other two won't make it to freeze. So, it's looking like a one chance shot.

Also, DH and I discussed at length today and because our insurance covers ZERO infertility, this is our last attempt at trying (I do not have fallopian tubes, so this is it). I'm sure the hormones don't help but this is not what I anticipated and I am very torn on what we should do...

 

If I were you, given what you've said about how you feel, I would just transfer one. I know the clinic wants a "successful" cycle and you want another baby, but from what you said, I got the strong feeling that you're more afraid of having twins again than you are of not getting pregnant at all. The "what ifs" will get you either way if you let them, so you have to go with your gut and tell yourself that you made the best decision you could at the time. You and your DH are the ones who know best what you can handle. (And I say this as someone who knows that I can't handle more than two kids, total!)

Good luck with the decision and with your 2WW! :hug:

 

I think I would tell them to pick the best one for transfer and just put back one. You can then hope that it takes and the other one makes it to freeze. I completely understand all your hope and desire for a singleton. If we go through it again (and that's a big IF) we know we cannot handle twins again and actually not even four children. I think it sounds like you would rather continue with your family "as is" than to add another set of twins to your family.

:grouphug: I hope it all works out for you.

 

I would only transfer one also. Good luck and big huge hugs and prayers to you! Good for you for researching all of this and making decisions beforehand!!!

 

I would transfer one - i have heard statistics that with a fresh cycle the chances of transferring one and it sticking are about the same as transferring 2 and getting twins. remember this is a fresh cycle so your chances of success are way higher. i'd do one if in your shoes because better to have the outcome that you want then the outcome that your RE wants.

 

Thank you so much for all the support and thoughts! I have a lot of praying and soul searching to do tonight, we don't have to make the decision until Sunday. I am leaning towards just going with one - regardless, because if it's meant to be it will happen if I put one or two back. I tried to have a conversation with myself 10 years from now. On one hand, because I've been through it already, I know that the first two years with twins are rough but then it gets better (sometimes sassy, but better). It's just I am very aware that there are decisions you make in an instant that change the course of your life and your children's lives forever...and this is a big decision. I am hoping there will be an embryo that looks better than the other two by Sunday morning and that will make my decision much easier. I'll post an update when we've decided and it's done. Thanks again, no one else but y'all would understand what emotions I'm having and where I'm coming from! I appreciate it!

 

I would transfer 2. reason being that this is your last attempt. Transferring 2 will give you a better shot at 1 and if you end up with twins again, once those babies are born you will feel about them just as you do the 1st set. It won't be easy you know that, but
with all the money you have spent and having gone this far - I think transferring 2 would be a better option.


I totally understand where you are coming from. I have 5 kids and am faced with the same decision on an upcoming FET.

 

I'll go with the majority on this one, and transfer one. It sounds like you and your husband are set on having just one more...so this is why I would suggest going with this.

You never know...the single you transfer might split and you may end up with twins anyway. (not trying to jinx you or anything...but it could happen!)

 

I'd do two. Absolutely.

 

PP - Just curious as to why? Don't get me wrong, your confidence in your reply is refreshing to me. But, I'd love to know your reasoning. I am also in a similar boat. We have 15 month old b/g twins and would love to have more children. But, we have to do IVF in order to get pregnant it seems. We tried IVF twice with 2 3-day embryos which failed and 1 time with 2 5-day embryos which resulted in twins. I LOVE having twins, but am just not sure about having another set. I had a difficult pregnancy the 1st time (born at 30 weeks, 6 weeks bedrest, 7 weeks in NICU, etc) and just don't want to risk putting babies through that again. But, I am 38 yrs old and IVF success rates are lower. A part of me thinks what is meant to happen will happen (i.e., everything happens for a reason/God doesn't give you more than you can handle, etc). But, a part of me feels that it would be foolish to take the chance. Anyway, I've been reading this thread with great interest and find everyone's responses so helpful and interesting.

 

I'll send you a PM with "my" reasoning..

 

We transferred two. I let DH make the final call when we got there. It was a very hard and emotional decision for both of us - but we decided we would rather chance having twins again than having no more children. Our third embryo did not make it to day 5. My pregnancy test is Wednesday - fingers crossed one stuck and if two stuck...we will have our hands completely full but we will be happy either way! Either way, zero, one or two - we are done. Thanks for the thoughts and well wishes.

 

Seeing this now reminded me that I never responded in here but wanted to (read it but then got busy and well, you know the rest).

I have NO idea what I would do in your situation because I can relate very well to the feelings you were having about the decision.

I like the conclusion you came to. :hug: I hope that you get your one healthy baby out of the process and if it's two, you are just meant to be a super twin mommy. :hug: PLEASE keep us posted. :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

:hug:My thoughts are with you. As I mentioned before, I fully appreciate how difficult a decision it was as I am in the same boat (but won't have to make any decisions until September). Best wishes to you over these next days. Please let us know how it all goes.

 

Thanks Ladies,
I pushed my pregnancy test to Thursday because I want DH with me when I get the call...actually, I am chickening out and going to make him take the call. That nurse has already heard me cry...twice actually, and I told myself NOT to cry the second time until after I hung the phone up. I'm nervous.

 

I will be thinking of you!! Best of luck and lots of singleton positive thinking coming your way

 

I took a home pregnancy test this morning, I was curious to see if anything would show up. It's positive (very faint but there are two lines)!!! I am so thrilled I can't stand it!!

 

I'm so happy for you! Congrats!

 

What great news! Congrats!

 

I did my blood draw today and got the official phone call today! We're pregnant and the nurse seems to think because my HCG is below 50 that the odds I am only carrying one is high. That would be so wonderful! We are very thankful and giving praise to God today. We will be happy with whatever we get! Thanks for the support - I can't wait for that u/s in 3 weeks!

 

Congrats!!!!!

 

Congratulations!!!!! That is so exciting

 

Can't wait to hear about your ultrasound. Woo hoo!

 

Congrats and GL. I wish you a h&h9m!

 

So it's been three weeks, did you get that US??? How many did are you cooking? I've been dying to find out

 

Any update?

 

Thank you all!

WE JUST HAVE ONE!!!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!! I am so excited I am beside myself! I geared myself up to be happy with whatever - one or two - but I am truly thrilled with one. It's exactly what we wanted. And I believe God knows best even though I was unhappy with the way the fertilization went and that the embryos weren't good quality etc...It is such a blessing to me in hindsite that I do not have left over embryos and I do not have to make a decision later on. We are heading into nine weeks and so far everything is great! Thanks for all your support ladies, I really appreciate it!

 

Congratulations!!!

 

That's great! Any pic of it?

 

Thanks! The first u/s didn't come out very clear but I am having another one next week so I'll update then! 12 weeks tomorrow, we're so excited!!

 

great news congratulations