WRITING A LETTER TO A NEW MOM OF TWINS

I am throwing my friend a baby shower, she is due in april with identical twins and she is not finding out what she is having!

Any who, I wanted to write her a letter, of things to remember, things she will experience, good tips and tricks and all that!

Any and all advice would be lovely!!

TIA!

 

If bottle feeding....Playtex Drop-Ins!

Don't expect to be the supermom. It's okay to ask for help.

Give up on a perfect house. It's okay to live off paper plates, stafoam bowls, and plastic utensils.

Yes, absolutely put them on the same schedule. Wake the other to feed. My girls are on the same schedule now but for a long time weren't and I was so frazzled.

Buy some nail polish to paint one of the baby's toe nails. Easy way to tell them apart in a pinch.

Don't let anyone dog you for dressing them alike or not dressing them alike. I've gotten crap both ways.

Take LOTS of pictures because likely you won't remember a lot from the beginning. That goes for someone have one baby too. The first six months are a blur!

Don't be in a rush for them to get bigger....crawl, walk, etc.. It happens so fast anyway. Before you know your baby is starting K. That's me this fall.


One of my favorite one liners when I want to be a snark....Are they twins? "No, the other just doesn't grow."

 

Breastfeeding:

You don't have to do it. Do what ever works best for your family. A sane Mama is the most important factor in the little ones lives.

If you don't want to breastfeed but still want to give them breastmilk then pumping is an alternative, plus and means that DH can help with the feedings.

If you pump make sure to buy extra pump bottles so that you can also use them to store the milk in the fridge. (I have 9 of them that I rotate through during the day.)

Bottles:

Pick one type of bottle and stick with it, don't try to mix and match brands. (I personally didn't like the drop ins for breastmilk, it was a hassle because you can't heat the milk in them.)

Pacifiers are okay. Even necessary when you have two little ones.

Photographs:

Take pictures while you are pregnant. Every week. I regret the fact that I don't have any of me in the last 2 months that I was pregnant.

Take a ton of pictures of your little ones. BUT make sure to organize them from day 1 other wise you have a giant mess of digital pictures that you have to sort through.

Holidays:

Tell your family to pick 1 holiday in the next year that they feel it is the most important for you to be at. Then tell them that you will not be at any others for the rest of the year. This way if you decide that leaving the house with your twins to meet some crazy holiday schedule is too much work you don't have to go. But, if you decide to go anyway your family will get a fantastic surprise.

 

Great idea!

- Take any and all help offered - meals, babysitting, laundry....whatever!!
- Don't feel bad about sitting down and doing 'nothing' for awhile when there is silence. All of the things that you need to do will still be there when you are done. And it's amazing what 5 minutes to yourself will do for you!
- If you are keeping the babies in the same room, don't try to stop them from waking each other up. The sooner they get used to the other one crying/fussing, the faster they will sleep right through it!
- Most of all, in the midst of your profound sleep deprivation, try to enjoy the little moments. They are gone in a hurry!

 

1) Keep a notebook handy to jot down important moments. Keep the notes simple (e.x. 1/12 - twin A first tooth, 1/14 - Twin B claps) Baby books get filled in later, not during the first year. I have quite a few "firsts" that I had to approximate the date. Photos don't catch these moments.

2) Find a support group, be it on-line forum, family, friends, whatever.

3) Communicate with your DH often and when not fried. Tell him what you need. DH's are great, but they don't always pick up on hints or notice the obvious (e.x. the diaper pail is overflowing)

4) Throw the books out, you won't have time to read them anyway.

 

DON'T PANIC!! :shok:
Ask for help.
Join TwinStuff :grouphug:
Do what you need to do to retain your sanity, no matter what others say.
Find one or two trusted moms/confidants, too many opinions do more harm than good.

 

have a date night once and a while with your partner - even if its for an hour having a cup of coffee!!

babies will cry - sometimes for no reason - as long as they are dry, fed, and comfortable there may be NOTHING you can do!

 

Don't forget to enjoy the time with the babies while they are tiny!

Enjoy each stage as it comes, try not to regret the ones past or yearn for the ones to come!

Never be too busy or too tired to take a moment and sit and look at the babies in wonder and love and awe, cuddle, laugh, play with them.

Housekeeping is not important, your time with the babies is. If people do offer to help ask for household chores (a meal, a load of laundry, some shopping on the way) and enjoy the extra time bonding with the babies.

Don't neglect your husband and make sure he joins in caring for and bonding with the babies.

It is ok to feel like having a good cry on and off.

It is a lot of work, but the best and most fulfilling work possible. You can do it!

This is a lovely idea - GL!

 

As excited as she is to meet her babies, get some rest NOW!!! Also freeze some meals or have easy foods in the house plus go to her favorite restaurants and get take out menus to have on hand so her SO or someone else can pick up food. Keep diapers, wipes and a bassinet or pack n play with a bassinet in the living room or where ever she will spend a lot of time. Pj pants are comfy and great attire for after the birth. All of those what to expect books are great until they babies come home then you do what you have to do to survive. Get a laundry bag to put baby socks and small things in, the washing machine really does eat small things and they will tear the machine up! Not letting them realize they have a choice between walking or riding in the stroller will be a huge plus.

 

What an awesome thing for you to do for her! Love it!

I'd like to add....

People will tell you that it's going to be hard, hard, hard. It can be, at times, but it's also better than anything you could imagine.

Tears come with the territory, both yours and theirs. Do whatever you need to do to get through those first few months and forget about what other people "think" you should do.

It's okay to take some time for yourself each day, even if it's just for a moment.

 

A twin momma told me, "There is not a baby anywhere that has ever died from crying. If you're tending to one, it's okay that the other is crying." I thought about this statement several times in the first couple of months, and still do. I just talk to the crying baby in a sweet voice, "Momma is helping Sister right now. She'll get to you in just a minute." Is it weird that I refer to myself in the third person?

 

Thank you all so much for commenting on the post. I am the lucky mom to be whose friend posted the topic and I am so greatful for all of your suggestions. I have taken them all under my wings and hope to be able to find a balance in what will soon become my new reality! I hope everyone is doing well the Month, I am just a few weeks away from meeting my identical twins!

 

Welcome to Twinstuff! And to twin mommy-hood!

This site has been an invaluable resource for me during my pregnancy and in the year since my girls were born. Even more than the advice, I have enjoyed the comradery and shared experience that we all have on here.

Soak up your last few weeks as a pregnant lady. I still miss rubbing my tummy and feeling my girls, so do it an extra time for me.

Good luck!!

 

WELCOME AND CONGRATS TO YOU! Twin parenting is so special. Yes you will be tired but the good SOOOOOO outweighs the bad. When your babies smile at you or even better at each other, when they snuggle together it really does make all the crying and late nights more than worth it.

The only thing I have to add is keep a log. Feeding changing, if they have meds to take that sort of thing. It is a lifesavor when they are fussing and your tired and you are trying to remember when they ate last or who has pooped today or who needs their meds.

 

Hi,

Congratulations and welcome to Twinstuff! It's a great forum and everybody here is really nice and helpful. Like everyone else said, enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy, it goes so fast. Try to rest and relax. If your doctor is OK with it, I would advise you to stay as active as possible, it would help you if you are in good shape after the twins are born. There will be nights when you will have to focus to figure out which baby are you feeding or changing... but it's all good. As long as everyone is healthy, the rest will be easy!

Good luck with everything and I hope you can make it as long as possible.

 

On this site I found one great article that told how to write letter to a friend format. Immediately I got the idea to send a letter to my best friend. We live on different continents. I looked through everything in detail and studied the samples and errors, took note of it and sent it by mail. We both got great positive emotions!

 

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