Would you wish twins on anyone?

Okay, first of all- hello everyone- long time no type...hope all is well. So I work with a woman who has 13 year old twin girls. I don't know her well or usually even see or talk to her much at all, as we work on different floors of the bldg. Anyway- the other night we were on break at the same time and she overheard me talking about my girls doing something or another and she butted in to say "Oh my God I would not wish twins on anyone, would you?" I told her I couldn't believe she was saying that, she said "Oh I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. You just wait until yours are teenage, you'll see!" and then she went on to say how she ONLY liked hers when they were 3 & 4 years old- she actually said "I hated them at 1 & 2 and I've hated them from 5 and up!" I cannot imagine ever saying something like that OR even feeling that way. Am I alone here? I think it is the greatest gift ever and I know there will be difficult times but I cannot even phathom that I'd ever say the word HATE when referring to my children!! I would wish twins on everyone, they're the most precious wonderful BLESSINGS!

 

While I think twins are a handful, I think her statements are a too harsh. I often have people say to me 'Oh, I wish I had twins' or 'I would love to have twins someday'. Twins were not something I wished for, I just got lucky. My response is to people who wish they have twins is that "I think having one at a time would be easier". It's not that I don't wish them on anybody, but it is a hard job. I think the woman you encountered probably has bigger issues going on that are causing those feelings and she would probably still feel that way if she had 2 kids close in age.

 

I have to agree. It sounds like she has issues that have nothing to do with having twins. Maybe more like having a TV idea of what kids are like. TV kids always come through looking adorable, say something precocious and then disappear--they are never a babysitting issue or embarrassing in anything but a cute way. If you've ever seen "Friends" you may have noticed that Emma was hardly ever awake, could be left in the other apartment and on at least one occasion everyone but Ross and Rachel were helping Monica and Chandler move, and yet Rachel still went across the street and up several floors to Ross' apartment *without* the baby. Real babies don't allow that kind of luxury. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult twins would seem if that's what a person was expecting out of children.

 

We love our kids, but we've found having twins pretty challenging. I wouldn't be as negative as she was towards my kids, but I share the sentiment to a degree.

 

Her issues are not twins but kids in general. I have challenges with ALL of my children bt would never say I hated them!

 

My boys right now at the age of 3 are a handful and sometimes very difficult to handle, I love them more everyday. I will tell people they are trying or a handful but to use the words hate or dislike about my own children will not happen. Would I wish twins on people, absolutely but not everyone because not everyone is cut out for twindome! I have heard some horrible things form my SIL about twins, when we first told her we were preg with twins, she told me it sucked. She had also told me when she was preg with her third that if she was preg with twins she would kill herself. Anything to be hurtful.

 

I agree - that lady has issues!! all 5 of mine are a handful and there are days when I could just cry, but oh my goodness I love them all so and could never say I hate any of them!! and as someone who went through IVF to have my girls, you better believe I would wish twins on people! I would rather have my hands full than empty!! I hope she was just having a bad day! sorry you had to hear that!

 

:angry: :cray: That is just so sad! I feel so bad for her girls, I'm sure they "feel" this from her! How can you hate your kids? And even more....why would you tell someone that? I would wish twins on others, eventhough they are a handful :huh: I think it's the most amazing and beautful thing I have ever seen. :wub: That woman is a nutcase! :crazy:

 

QUOTE(Mum2TwinBoys @ Mar 28 2008, 05:04 PM) [snapback]692903[/snapback]
My boys right now at the age of 3 are a handful and sometimes very difficult to handle, I love them more everyday. I will tell people they are trying or a handful but to use the words hate or dislike about my own children will not happen. Would I wish twins on people, absolutely but not everyone because not everyone is cut out for twindome! I have heard some horrible things form my SIL about twins, when we first told her we were preg with twins, she told me it sucked. She had also told me when she was preg with her third that if she was preg with twins she would kill herself. Anything to be hurtful.


Of course twins are hard on many levels- kids in general are- (as my DS is throwing toys and has not stopped crying since he woke up UGGGH...) I would NEVER even consider saying I hate them - YIKES. I bet she does have other issues. To piggy back on the above comment- when I told my sister in law we were pg with twins- she gasped and said "better you than me" She is a very jealous and hateful person sometimes. She has twins in her family and I think she was upset it was not her (because it does sound so cool!) After she repeated that comment MANY times I finally said your right it really is better you than me. I think she got the point to zip it!

LOL

People say stupid things!!!

 

How sad for her kids that they have a mother who claims to hate them. I hope it was just her way of having a very bad day.

 

Her kids are 13 years old and she only liked 2 years of their lives? How sad for her - while I wouldn't wish twins on anyone, I also wouldn't wish any children on anyone. That's for them to decide to have kids, and I think that's a personal decision, in my opinion. But that lady has got some other issues if that is her attitude.

I didn't wish for twins, but I can't imagine my life without them. Both the joy and the challenges. I have been very blessed.

 

WOWZA (my new favorite word today BTW can you tell?? ) That was way way way outta line, I know a few people who would love to raise her kids for her if she just hates it that much! :angry: I have, sadly enough, had a similar comment made to me by a mom of twins that were 20yo! She just said, "wait until they are older you wont 'LOVE IT' so much." very sarcastically! Those people shouldnt be allowed to reproduce!!

 

Yes, I would wish twins on me (maybe not another set, but definitely the first one), but I wouldn't wish them on HER!

I thought it was bad enough when a singleton mom saw my boys and then commented to her boy that she was so glad she didn't have two of him. At least she didn't say she hated him!

 

Some people throw words around easily.
Love, Hate, Never, sh*t, etc.
To me hate is a really strong word. I also think being a mom of twins is the most challenging thing I've ever done, and I'm not having anymore children because of that--but I would never say I hate it--especially to someone I don't know. But I know people who say hate all day long, to them the don't mean the same thing with it. Like people who swear all day--it's just something they say, not something they mean.

 

I will say that I was not thrilled when we learned we were having twins, and I still would have preferred to have them one at a time. Since we planned to stop at two though - I would have missed out on one of my precious little girls. There have already been tons of special moments that would only occur with twins, and I can't imagine life with either of them now!!!

OT, but I think it's interesting that the "only time she didn't hate them" was 3 & 4. My oldest is almost 4 & I've found the past 5-6 months the most difficult so far!! I keep expecting to enjoy her more any day now once she "snaps out of it" (IT being being a 3 yr old ) But I've never hated her, even days like yesterday when I posted about how crazy she was making me!! It's sad your coworker feels that way, for her - because she is truly missing out, but especially for her kids. I hope the PPs that suggested hate is being casually used are right!!!




QUOTE(TwinLove @ Mar 28 2008, 05:14 PM) [snapback]692924[/snapback]
:angry: :cray: That is just so sad! I feel so bad for her girls, I'm sure they "feel" this from her! How can you hate your kids? And even more....why would you tell someone that? I would wish twins on others, eventhough they are a handful :huh: I think it's the most amazing and beautful thing I have ever seen. :wub: That woman is a nutcase! :crazy:


I agree!

 

I would never "wish" twins on anyone because they are challenging and not everyone imo is cut out to be a twin mom. But I love, love having two! It is certainly challenging - but I couldn't imagine it any other way. I am looking forward to everything that is to come.

I do get a little irritated with all the new celebrity twin moms that are popping up though - not sure why - I guess because I assume (maybe not rightly so) that they can afford all the help in the world so the experience is not the same thing. That and they make it look easy which we all know it is not.

I can't ever imagine saying I hate my kids. She has issues and unfortunately her two children will feel that and it will likely carry with them forever. Very sad.

 

People are so strange. Hate is a very strong word and one that I could never use when referring to my children. That is horrible. Hope that woman's children never hear her speak of them like that.... and I am sure I would have said as much to her.

I am very happy that we had twins. They were very much planned and wanted, and are our only children. If I could have more I would, and would feel blessed if we had twins again, although I can say with 100% certainty that will not be happening.

Twins are challenging, but I know some kids that are way more difficult to manage than my two combined. Every mom and child are different. So far, being a twin mom has been a complete joy to me.

 

What a sad life that lady must lead. to hate her children..

 

I spent the first 8 or 9 months of Evan and James' life secretly wishing they had been born 3 years apart. I admit it. But now I love having twins 99% of the time. It's a blessing.

 

QUOTE(CHJH @ Mar 29 2008, 08:14 PM) [snapback]694197[/snapback]
I spent the first 8 or 9 months of Evan and James' life secretly wishing they had been born 3 years apart. I admit it. But now I love having twins 99% of the time. It's a blessing.


DITTO! I really did not like the first three months (colic combined with PPD = very unhappy mommy). But now, Jonah and Morgan are such amazing people even on their worst days and even those are not that bad. Having not been there yet, I cannot say what the teenage years will be like. I hope she was just having a bad day and that's not how she really feels about her kids. Maybe something had just happened that made her feel that way that day, kwim?

Certainly having twins is a BIG job sometimes, but I wouldn't consider it the plague or something! :icon_biggrin:

Shannon

 

I can't imagine anyone saying that about their own kids, twins or not -- but to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was having a really awful day (or month, or year) with her kids.

When mine were babies, I often did say (somewhat tongue in cheek) that I wouldn't wish twins on anyone -- I had pretty serious singleton envy. But I don't feel that way now.

 

while I don't hate my kids and wouldn't say those sorts of things out loud most days I really don't feel the "blessing" that most feel - I love my kids and they are very wanted but I really did want them a few years apart!

 

I wish twins on people all the time. Only the ones that I think are wonderful loving parents who could more than handle two babies of course, but I do it all time. Mine are only 7 months so I know I have yet to go through the terrible twos or the teenage years, but I still think they are such a blessing and so wonderful in so many other ways that you wouldn't experience with a singleton. So I am always wishing that my family and friends would get to experience the joys (and yes, trials) of rasing twins. So I can never imagine saying what that woman said to anyone (even if you felt it why would you say it out loud - didn't she realize how horrible that would make her look. Is she just one of those really dramatic people who says things just for the shock value?

 

One of the coolest things about having twins is that they have a built-in friend to play with from day one. I LOVE watching them interact with each other, my heart melts when they chase each other around the house. We knew we would only have one pregnancy (due to IF issues), so the fact that we got two children at once, and were able to give them a sibling is a true blessing for us. I would have been sad to have only one and not afford him/her the opportunity to grow up with a sibling.
So I am thankful each and every crazy stressful day - I wouldn't have it any other way!! :icon_biggrin: