My twins 1st birthday is July 3rd. We are going to have a small birthday party for them on July 4th. Because it is so small I'm not sending out invitations as it is only my parents, my in laws, grandma, and my sister/BIL and her 3 kids. I guess I didn't mention this party to my sister in time because now she called me up inviting me to her 4th of July party. I told her that that is the day of the party for my children. she told me that she didn't think we were having a party b/c I didn;'t mention it to her. I said do you really think I wouldn't have a party for my kids? I had been talking to my mom about it and I know my mom has talked to her about it so it's not like she really didn't klnow. Then she says to my mom, who has a birthday party on 4th of July anwyay? We aren't the closest sisters but we get along and I feel hurt that she would do this. I have been to all of her children's birthdays (not just the 1st) and I would think she would want to be part of our celebration for our kids. We had a very hard time getting pregnant and we have a very small family. She even had the nerve to tell my mom that she will probably have a hard decision choosing which party she will go to. (My mom said no I won't, I'm going to the twins birthday party) I didn't really get a chance to talk to my sister about it because I was at work when I found out. I spoke to her briefly and told her that I think it is selfish of her but she isn't changing her party and she hasn't called me since. Am I blowing this out of proportion?
I dont know if I would me mad, but upset. Can you just combine the two parties? Or have a small party Friday evening?
QUOTE(DATJMom @ Jun 8 2009, 09:45 AM) [snapback]1345661[/snapback] I dont know if I would me mad, but upset. Can you just combine the two parties? Or have a small party Friday evening? I can't have the party friday evening because they are only 1, I want them to enjoy the day with my family. And we can't combine the parties because they are young and get anxious around large groups and unfamiliar faces. This is their day and her party is going to be about 50 people who we don't really know. Maybe I am just blowing it out of proportion but I can't help how I feel.
I dont think i would be too angry as she didnt really know that you were having a party for your kids so obviously has gone and arranged her own party for the 4th aswell not knowing about yours. Maybe she is just hurt about not being formally invited to your party and that is why she is being the way she is. I hope you are able to sort it out x
QUOTE(jandj2008 @ Jun 8 2009, 09:58 AM) [snapback]1345681[/snapback] I can't have the party friday evening because they are only 1, I want them to enjoy the day with my family. And we can't combine the parties because they are young and get anxious around large groups and unfamiliar faces. This is their day and her party is going to be about 50 people who we don't really know. Maybe I am just blowing it out of proportion but I can't help how I feel. Ah. Yes, I worried about overstimulation too. You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. I would just go about the day. Maybe you could do yours a bit earlier on the 4th since most 4th parties start later in the afternoon due to the fireworks ardon:
I think you have every right to be upset if your sister chooses not to come to your childrens party, however that would be a hard time to have a bday party (for me). At least one, if not multiple people I know have 4th of July parties every year, so if my childrens birthday was around that time, I would most likely plan it early Saturday, or that Sunday, or even possibly for the following weekend. Thats my personal opinion. But since it is a month in advance and it is their FIRST birthday I would think that your sister should be able to make an exception and not have her party, and attend your party instead. ETA: I agree that if you have it early Saturday, she should still be able to have her party that evening.
if i am reading your question correctly it seems as if your sister planned her party before she knew you were having the b-day party. Maybe she is upset because she was not invited or got a call directly from you you say she spoke to your mother and therefor she knew about it but we women can be goofy maybe she thought she was not invited? another way to look at it
QUOTE(Louise+2 @ Jun 8 2009, 09:11 AM) [snapback]1345698[/snapback] I dont think i would be too angry as she didnt really know that you were having a party for your kids so obviously has gone and arranged her own party for the 4th aswell not knowing about yours. Maybe she is just hurt about not being formally invited to your party and that is why she is being the way she is. I hope you are able to sort it out x I agree.
Maybe if you started their party late morning (11'ish?) or noonish then your sisters family could come for an hour or two before their party? Or what about having it on Sunday the 5th? I hope you guys find something that works :hug:
I think being upset is totally valid. This is their 1st birthday and they are only going to have one 1st birthday party. My SIL's birthday was 4 days before Max & Lily's and she kept telling me we should just combine her birthday party with theirs; she is 41, a widow and has no kids. I feel bad for her, but we did her birthday the weekend before. I said absolutely not everytime she mentioned it, at least for the 1st birthday, and thankfully my MIL backed me up on that one which is amazing because that rarely happens. I would try to speak with your sister one more time and if she doesn't want to move her party, then just continue on with yours. It will be her loss that she can't see nieces/nephews (sorry I didn't know if your twins were g/g, b/b, or b/g) 1st birthday. Don't let her selfishness ruin your enjoying your twins 1st birthday.
I was thinking that couldn't your party be late morning since it is for babies and hers would be in the evening I assume. I understand why your feelings are hurt. I also do think that if you didn't mention it to your sister, you shouldn't be upset with her for planning something else. Yes, your moth er probably mentioned it to her but you don't know how it was mentioned. Maybe it was that you were thinking of having the party. Maybe she assumed you would do it early in the day sine it was for babies. Maybe since she had not been invited by you she thought you changed your mind or was going to do it at another time. So many other things. People are dying of diseases, abused, killed etc. Life is really too short to get upset about misunderstandings like this.
My birthday happens to also be on July 3. I am of the opinion that it is the best possible birthday - far away from Christmas, I always get the afternoon at least off work, there are always fireworks, and I always get to see my family because the next day is the 4th! I've been having cake for my birthday on the 4th of July for so long I don't remember an alternative. I guess there were parties with other kids when I was younger, but family was always on the 4th. A couple questions. Does your sister always have a 4th of July party? Does the timing work for people to go to both? 4th of July parties often start later because people watch fireworks. I would not be incredibly upset that she was having a 4th of July party. The timing will probably work out. I may be upset if she didn't come to the babies' party or if other family members didn't come because of the 4th of July party. Truly though, if you want to not have this issue, plan to celebrate on their actual birthday. People are always going to have 4th of July parties to interfere with your plans - family, the kids' friends, etc.
QUOTE(jandj2008 @ Jun 8 2009, 09:33 AM) [snapback]1345633[/snapback] Then she says to my mom, who has a birthday party on 4th of July anwyay? people whose birthdays are on or around july 4! we celebrated my sister's july 4th birthday in conjunction with the holiday every year and no one complained. a party's a party! personally, i'd be mad.
No She's never had a 4th of July party. And the timing really doesn't work out because I'm having our party at around 1pm. When they have a party they really do it up so they'll be spending the day getting ready for their party. I'm upset becasue she knew I was having a party but I just didn't give her the actual phone call b/c it was a month away. I understand that 4th of July is a party day and any other birthday we'll probably do the week before but my grandma is flying up from Florida to be with us so we can't change the day. I'm also annoyed because they were so upset me and my husband didn't go to one of their Memorial day parties b/c we had plans to go somewhere else.
QUOTE(jandj2008 @ Jun 8 2009, 01:36 PM) [snapback]1346026[/snapback] No She's never had a 4th of July party. And the timing really doesn't work out because I'm having our party at around 1pm. When they have a party they really do it up so they'll be spending the day getting ready for their party. I'm upset becasue she knew I was having a party but I just didn't give her the actual phone call b/c it was a month away. I understand that 4th of July is a party day and any other birthday we'll probably do the week before but my grandma is flying up from Florida to be with us so we can't change the day. I'm also annoyed because they were so upset me and my husband didn't go to one of their Memorial day parties b/c we had plans to go somewhere else. I'm sorry your sister is making this stressful. Really, the 4th of July is just like any other holiday birthday where it's always going to be difficult to plan something. You'll have people complaining it's on the 4th and people complaining it's not and they have to make two trips! It's still a great b-day, and as time goes on, they'll love it! I hope that your sister's not being there doesn't upset things too much. Just try to enjoy the occasion!
QUOTE(jandj2008 @ Jun 8 2009, 09:33 AM) [snapback]1345633[/snapback] My twins 1st birthday is July 3rd. We are going to have a small birthday party for them on July 4th. Because it is so small I'm not sending out invitations as it is only my parents, my in laws, grandma, and my sister/BIL and her 3 kids. I guess I didn't mention this party to my sister in time because now she called me up inviting me to her 4th of July party. I told her that that is the day of the party for my children. she told me that she didn't think we were having a party b/c I didn;'t mention it to her. I said do you really think I wouldn't have a party for my kids? I had been talking to my mom about it and I know my mom has talked to her about it so it's not like she really didn't klnow. Then she says to my mom, who has a birthday party on 4th of July anwyay? We aren't the closest sisters but we get along and I feel hurt that she would do this. I have been to all of her children's birthdays (not just the 1st) and I would think she would want to be part of our celebration for our kids. We had a very hard time getting pregnant and we have a very small family. She even had the nerve to tell my mom that she will probably have a hard decision choosing which party she will go to. (My mom said no I won't, I'm going to the twins birthday party) I didn't really get a chance to talk to my sister about it because I was at work when I found out. I spoke to her briefly and told her that I think it is selfish of her but she isn't changing her party and she hasn't called me since. Am I blowing this out of proportion? I'm wondering if she wasn't peeved that she was hearing all this through your mom instead of from you. Did you call all the other family members and invite them and left it up to her to hear it through the grapevine? Maybe it's a passive-agressive way of letting you know she doesn't appreciate not hearing it directly from you? I know you said you two aren't particularly close, sounds to me like there is some prior animosity that is coming in to play. I think when planning something on a holiday you should really give people as much notice as you can. TBH, I wouldn't appreciate hearing about a party I was expected to attend from another family member and not being invited directly - or knowing that some relatives were told about the party a month or two in advance and I was just invited a few weeks beforehand. Yes, it's a shame that an aunt can't spare an hour or two to come to a first bday party but enjoy your kids and your party - it's their day and they are too young for her absence to affect their day.
QUOTE(ThreeLittleSnowflakes @ Jun 8 2009, 02:30 PM) [snapback]1346119[/snapback] I'm wondering if she wasn't peeved that she was hearing all this through your mom instead of from you. Did you call all the other family members and invite them and left it up to her to hear it through the grapevine? Maybe it's a passive-agressive way of letting you know she doesn't appreciate not hearing it directly from you? I know you said you two aren't particularly close, sounds to me like there is some prior animosity that is coming in to play. I think when planning something on a holiday you should really give people as much notice as you can. TBH, I wouldn't appreciate hearing about a party I was expected to attend from another family member and not being invited directly - or knowing that some relatives were told about the party a month or two in advance and I was just invited a few weeks beforehand. Yes, it's a shame that an aunt can't spare an hour or two to come to a first bday party but enjoy your kids and your party - it's their day and they are too young for her absence to affect their day. I understnad what you're saying and I appreciate the feedback. I guess I should have invited everyone earilier because I still haven't even given anyone a time. I'm not the biggest planner when its just such a small gathering. None of us really do anyhting special for 4th of July anyway so I just assumed my parents, in-laws, sister would be there. It only makes sense to have it on sat if their bday is on fri because of work. I guess I'm just uipset because I've alwasy been there for her kids and expected she would want to be there for mine.
If shes such a planner maybe shes mad beacus she wants to come to their bday party, but she cant cancell on all the guest that she has already invited to attend her own party. Im with others, have it in the morning or on sunday....
QUOTE(Magpie76 @ Jun 8 2009, 11:48 PM) [snapback]1346909[/snapback] I vote for Sunday the 5th too!!! Same here! Then everyone wins!
