Worst comment ever

I was getting into my car the other day and a lady sitting in the passenger seat of the car next to me struck up a conversation about the heat and my belly etc. She then went on to say they she had twins as well. I said, "oh neat," and she proceeded to tell me random information. Then she pointed to the back seat where my son was sitting and said, "well, you already have one." And I said, "yes, he's really looking forward to it."

Then she proceeds to tell me that her older daughter has "never forgiven her" for having the twins and still won't talk to her at age 50 because she believes her mom gave all the attention to the twins.

I hope my son did not hear that comment- he's 6 so he would definitely get it!! Thank goodness he was in the back seat. But still, why would you EVER tell a pregnant woman that. I'm already greatly mourning the loss of my special one on one relationship with my son and here she feeds into my worst fears. It stunned me!

 

Um, sounds like she had issues with her kids. This doesn't mean you will have problems with your son. Perhaps she did a poor job with her son- it doesn't sound like you are going to be that kind of mommy. But yeah, I wouldn't tell a pregnant woman that, either. :headbang:

 

That is horrible!!! Sounds more like poor parenting on her part than a real issue mothers have when they have twins.

 

I know how you feel! I keep getting comments from people around me such as "Oh u're going to have a hard time." "Oh I'm sure you won't have anymore time for yourself" "Your daughter is going to be really difficult because she'll get really jealous". At 1 point in this pregnancy I got so beaten up by all these negative comments I'd cry every night. Then 1 day I decided that it was pointless allowing myself to get all depressed by people who don't think before they speak, and people who don't really matter to me. The people who really count in my life are those who offer to help out after my delivery & those who are encouraging me through this pregnancy.

 

UGH!! The negativity can soooo bring you down! I have been struggling with the thought of twins and all the work they will entail. But think of all the joy and happiness that will be brought! Women have twins ALL THE TIME and they survive with happy children and families! I mean c'mon! It's ridiculous for people to think that you are going to ruin your relationship with your older child and have a "terrible time". They have NO IDEA what they are talking about and are just ignorant, and maybe JEALOUS!! I agree, your kids will all be happy if you are a happy and caring mother with enoough love to give (enough hands to go around is a different story LOL!)

Honestly, people are just stupid. So you will have 3 kids...ummmm I think that is pretty standard! It's not like you (or I, or we!) are Octomom and having a litter of children that we cannot provide for them or remember their names! Chin up lady! :grouphug:

 

i agree - people are just stupid and ignorant. I lost my first child 2 years ago at full term and we are SO, SO BLESSED to have gotten pregnant again (as I suffer from infertility, another story.) People say to me - "oh, it will be so hard!" or "You will be up around the clock with 2 screaming babies" and my DH and I always respond with "Well, I think we'll be so grateful that they're alive, no amount of sleep deprivation or crying could make us unhappy." People are dumb. Don't let them get to you and don't even let them finish their stupid sentences. You shoudl have turned your back and ignored the rest of her stupid comments. You'll be fine.

 

I CANNOT believe someone said that to you in front of your child!?! People amaze me at their stupidity. I would have been a wreck after that as that was one of my biggest fears the entire pregnancy (I have a son that is 3 1/2 years older than the twins).

However, I was pleasantly surprised at how well my son has done. There has not been 1 ounce of jealousy so far and he has nothing but complete LOVE for "his babies". I am sure that your age difference will help you even more. And the one on one time that you have with your son later will be even more special. Please don't think twice about that crazy lady's comments! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

 

i remembered this post when i was having a conversation with a friend this afternoon...she has two younger sisters that are frat. twins. there is five years between her and her sisters...she told me that she felt VERY slighted by them because she had become very secure in her position as the baby of the family...she went on to say how the town newspaper came out and did a story on the sisters and how santa had presents for the twins but none for her...she sounded pretty bitter...

then i wondered if it was HER mom you met...

i wonder how my kids will adapt to having twins as sibs...i hope better than that!

 

The guts some people have! I get comments a lot when people find out we are having twins and ask if they are our first. When I tell them no, this is number 7 and 8 I get all sorts of comments from we must be crazy to I bet that is hard to afford, how are you going to do it... Very carefully I tell them. It seems every one has an opinion on pregnancy and nursing ( I was once told in a restaurant to go fed my baby in the bathroom... I said "would you like to eat your dinner in the bathroom?" She didn't say another word and walked away! Just stay strong and confident!! You will do great and your son will be a great big brother!

 

Wow, I can't believe she said that to you. :woah: I can tell you that my oldest DD was thrilled to have twin siblings, yes she did not get as much attention as she used to, but she wouldn't trade them for the world. :good:

 

Thanks for all the encouragement! I know my son will do great- he's always talking about "the babies" this and "the babies" that but I'm also trying to line up some help one afternoon a week so I can pick him up alone and go do something with him- even if just run an errand. It's hard to believe we only have about 3-4 more weekends of just the 3 of us before we jump to a family of 5! Crazy.

 

What a jerk! I'm sure there is WAY more to the story than that. LOL! I'm sure her DD would tell a different story and she is using the twins as a reason that her DD doesn't talk to her. She obviously doesn't have a proper social filter, could you imagine living with her?

My DD is almost 4 and just last night, we were getting read for bed and she was in the room with her brothers. All we heard was music, giggles and laughter from all three of them. Don't worry, you son will do great as long as you guide him, which it sounds like you will.

People!

 

What a horrible thing to say to you. I have two older daughters and I was really scared about how they would adjust. My younger daughter is a huge mommy's girl and I really thought she was going to have a hard time with it. In the end, they adjusted amazingly well. They love their "bubbas" and have from the moment they were born.