Won't eat, won't sleep

They're killing me.

They're 5 1/2 months old.

They're both tending to wake up around 5. Not sure if they're waking each other or what, but the end result is they're both awake. They're not really hungry, usually, and we try to let them fuss for a bit, but they just keep getting louder and louder and won't go back to sleep. Usually out of desperation we get them up and play for a bit and then feed them at like 6, which is a hit-or-miss prospect. Sometimes they ARE hungry and take a full bottle, sometimes they eat like an ounce and resume crying.

Usually with the first guy he'll take at least half, and then with or without screaming fall asleep on my shoulder. I know, it's a bad habit, but it's the reflux - I HAVE to hold him, or he'll spit up and NOT sleep. So then I transition him to his swing, which is a 50/50 chance of him waking up. If he does, he'll usually want to play a bit before screaming for awhile. About half the time he'll put himself to sleep, the other half he'll scream bloody murder until I give in and hold him, and THEN he'll sleep. In any case, he usually gets up by 9, we play for like 45 minutes, and then I feed him again. If he ate before, he'll usuallly fuss through this one, otherwise he'll eat it. And by "fuss" I mean scream and refuse the bottle. I don't push it TOO hard, but at that point he's not willing to play anymore and he won't fall asleep, so what else is there to do BUT try to feed him? We go through lot of scream/hold/put down/scream cycles. Sometimes he'll get a 20 minute nap, sometimes not. Eventually it's lunchtime, and we play again and then do solids.

As recently as a week and a half ago, we'd do solids and he'd still take his full bottle. Now even though I give him the same amount of solids, he generally WON'T take his bottle. Maybe half, but sometimes nothing. And then he'll fall asleep if I hold him, scream if I don't. Sometimes survives the transition to the swing still asleep. Wakes up mid-afternoon, we play for at LEAST an hour and I try to feed him between 4 and 5. That feeding used to be pretty easy, now he's fighting it the whole way - but especially if he skips his lunchtime bottle, it's been a LONG time since he ate!

Then he fusses and screams a lot, it's his worst time of day for reflux, and either falls asleep (in our arms, likely) or we try to keep him entertained. It depends on how tired he is how hard we try for sleep. then between 8 and 9 is his bedtime bottle, which usually goes ok, and then he gets held for about 20 minutes (reflux, again) before he goes down. Then he's up again between 1 and 3 for another full bottle.


I don't understand why he's not eating lately! And I have NO idea how to teach him to fall asleep on his own - with the reflux, if I put him down too soon, he'll spit up, and that certainly isn't going to help!

With the other guy ... he's just getting past a growth spurt, which killed his sleeping through the night tendencies. I try to feed him every 3 hours or so, though I have also tried every 4 hours instead. Either way, he's refusing bottles a LOT, or only taking an ounce or two. He's waking up once overnight to eat, though that feeding doesn't usually go well EITHER. And during the day he'll MAYBE take a nap without me holding him once or twice a week. He doesn't always scream otherwise, usually just fusses, but I feel bad just leaving him there. And if he DOESN'T sleep, he won't eat (he'll just fall asleep at the bottle), so I DO wind up holding him through at least 1-2 naps a day. He has been screaming like he's hungry sometimes, but even then he won't eat. He's not even on solids yet, just once or twice a week we play around a bit.

How do I get them to SLEEP? Or eat? Or ... anything but scream? I swear, now that the weather's warmer, the neighbors are going to call the cops thinking something's wrong from the amount of screaming!! I know I shouldn't hold them for naps, but it's the only way to get them to sleep at all sometimes, and that's the only way to get them to eat, so it's a desperate attempt to break the cycle - and it's not working. I'm losing my mind.

ANY ideas?

 

Cat- how old are they adjusted??

This sounds like an absolute nightmare situation. What does Doc say??

Man... I do not like the not eating part. Not good.

How many oz per day are they taking?

Are you doing solids?

I would start out by giving solids before bottle. I know that sounds backwards but a friend of mine was told to do this by her GI Specialist for her reflux baby. Do solids first and then bottle-- but ONLY if not eating and it really sounds like yours aren't eating!!

As far as the sleeping, do you have snugride car seats?? Can they sleep in there???????? Also, I never knew this but they sell a swing base that you put the snugride into!! Pretty neat.

Anyway, more details on oz and solids and how many hours per nite they're sleeping and how many hrs per naps and how many etc. Are they in cribs at nite? Zantac? or what are you doing for the reflux? Are you thickening the formula?

 

What meds are they on for reflux? I agree with pp about calling the doctor. Little babies can get dehydrated pretty quickly so I'd call your pedi about this. They might need an adjustment to the dose of medication (its weight-dependent). :hug99: Let us know how it goes.

ETA: You aren't doing ANYTHING wrong!!! Its so tough when they can't tell us what they need and how they feel. Maybe I'm an overly cautious first time mom who calls the pedi too much, but I figure this is what I'm paying her. My pedi is great about taking calls and reassuring me. :hug99:

 

Do you think that they could be teething?

Alice (my kiddo with reflux) did the same exact thing but it was all due to her teething. And that started at 4 months! Needless to say, tylenol is the only thing that does anything for her wtih the teething.

 

We don't adjust for the first one (Andrew) because developmentallly he's now AHEAD of schedule. Daniel, though, we adjust down to 20 weeks.

We were JUST at the pedi, as in, yesterday. She didn't have much good to say about it - just that we need to play around with things a bit to see what works. Said they're getting enough to stay hydrated, and we'll check weights in 2 weeks to make sure that they ARE still gaining.

Andrew's on prevacid for reflux, and has thickened formula. I do solids before his lunchtime bottle and he's a champ at that. 1/3 jar veggies plus 1/2 jar fruit plus oatmeal. He just started REFUSING that bottle in the past like 5 days, which the pedi says is fine, but .. it's when he refuses the bottle AFTER that too that I get worried (and annoyed!) He SEEMS hungry, he just won't take it! In total, he still probably gets like 30 oz per day - but this is from a kid who up until a week ago was easily eating 40 oz per day plus solids.

Is he just maybe not hungry? But then ... why won't he SLEEP or PLAY, just cry and fuss?

Daniel is a bit dicier, but it's so hard to judge. Up until a month ago, he was taking maybe 18 oz a day, high cal hypo-allergenic formula. He won't take his reflux meds and I got thrown up on a few too many times, so we've been trying without for hte past 3 weeks and he's been FINE. He was having a huge growth spurt (1 lb in those 3 weeks), eating 30-ish oz per day. Now he's backed off considerably, back down to maybe 22 oz per day, and that's a fight. I KNOW it's because he's not sleeping - he falls asleep the second the nipple gets in his mouth sometimes, and he eats half asleep but can only do like 2 oz that way, and then wakes up an hour later and we repeat the process. And then maybe twice a day I get a good feed from him. We play with solids a couple times a week, he doesn't really eat any of it.

At night they ARE in their cribs. Andrew goes maybe 4 hours before waking, and then another 3. Daniel USED to sleep through the night, but now wakes up at the same time as Andrew. We SUSPECT he's being woken up, but we feed him anyways. He probably gets maybe an hour more than Andrew though.

During the day, Andrew will sleep maybe 3-ish hours in the swing, and another hour with me holding him. More on a *good* day. Daniel will get a couple hours on me, and basically NOTHING else.

I KNOW it's not enough sleep, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to make them eat with any sort of regularity. It's like .. if I could get them to eat, maybe they'd sleep. But if I could get them to SLEEP, they'd likely eat better. It's just getting worse by the day and I'm not sure how to break the cycle ...

Oh, and Daniel already HAS teeth, and caused no problems. We can't tell with Andrew - we've tried orajel and cold teething things and all, and it doesn't seem to matter for him. Without knowing, I don't want to just keep dosing him with Tylenol either ...

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Have you also checked on the flow of the nipple? We had to take exacto blades to the nipples in order to allow the thickened formula out. And for Alice we let her sleep in her bouncer for naps, but at about 6 months we moved them both to their cribs for naps. Do you have a bouncer? Can you put the bouncer in the crib for naps?

 

After reading your follow-up post it sounds like they are getting plenty of formula (although 22 oz is on the low side, I'd look at his average across a week). Are they learning to roll or scoot or sit? When my girls started trying to master some of those milestones, sleep got very inconsistent. It was like they were too busy and frustrated to sleep. I hope some of the other ladies whose kids STTN early and who fed on-demand will weigh in on this thread. I fed on a schedule and my girls didn't STTN until 8 months old, so I don't have much experience with either. My one DD was a mega-spitter until she started walking, but after she started the reflux meds she never screamed and it didn't bother her. Are they gassy? Have you introduced a new food since this started? I'm just trying to think of other things that might cause the fussiness. It is a vicious cycle because the less they sleep, the more cranky they become, the harder it is for them to fall asleep. I hope some of the other ladies have advice for you. :hug99: and GL!