wish there could be positive stories

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE twinstuff! The expecting forum was so helpful and informative! My boys are 4 weeks old so I have not been in the first year forum long - however, I was reading through posts this morning and got so discouraged and terrified! My boys have been doing very well, but it seems like the only stories I hear are horror stories! It made me scared of what was to come. I read through the post about survival tips and so many of you guys said the first four months were horrible.

Does anyone have any GOOD stories about the first few months - stories that are encouraging instead of terrifying?

 

I think that it's a really hard and sleepless time and that's why you hear the stories that are less than glowing. Sorry you are scared! Get and be organized about your time and your life and it will go more smoothly. :hug99:

It's a wonderful time in that your tiny little babies will grow and SMILE at you and EVEN LAUGH!! Those are the times to focus on!!

 

The first 4 months were horrible in comparison to now. But it's a relative thing because 4 months and up has been awesome. I hope that even makes sense. The first four months were not all that bad, all things considered. I was just very tired.

 

I totally agree with Diane. Those first few months CAN be trying .. but here I am almost 4 yrs later and I can barely remember how rough it was .. I only remember how thrilled I was at having these 2 beautiful babies to take care of and how excited I was to watch them grow.
Each stage has its ups and downs .. but its a learning process, one that I've enjoyed ALOT ! Dont be discouraged !

 

I think the hardest time for me was between 4 and 8 weeks--they were starting to be awake more, but really didn't do anything--my friend doesn't call it the slug stage for nothing So they would want more attention then I could get them. 8 weeks got better for me, because they would sleep from midnight until 6 in the morning, so I got some descent sleep. At 3 months mine slept 12-13 hours at night, and took 2 2hour naps, so life got much easier. DH and I always said that for the first year every 3 months was a milestone for getting "better". After that it was more like 6 months. Now that they are almost 6, it is lots of fun! Between swimming, tee ball, friends, and school--they are fun people to be with!

 

OOOhhhh OOOHhh meee!!! I do I do!!!

My Dh took a hiatus from his job and stayed home with me the first 2 months after we brought the girls home from NICU. We slept at all kinds of weird hours, but we were together. We woke up at 2 am and watched MtV and joked at how they are now forever our feeding songs because they played the same 7 songs all night.
We also got a ton of rest during the day because the girls basically woke, slept, ate, and pooped. So when they would sleep we would visit and hang out. I think if you can get past the sleep issue, it was a lot easier then than now that I have two cranky ear infected walkers!!!
I do think that it is all in the eye of the beholder. You can look at the situation and have lemons or lemonade. I treasure the time I had my hubby at home.... the first couple months were like a wonderful parent/baby bonding!!

 

you be the one to change it! I think alot of it is our mind set... I myself do not hear negative....

 

The first 4 months were CRAZY. It was sort of like running around like a Chicken with its head cut off.

I think it was just the fact of having two babies. My singleton has been a PLEASURE.

 

I have to partially agree with you...I'm glad I didn't read some this when I was pregnant. I can tell you the first four months depends on your babies and your DH (or SO). I have been blessed with "easy" babies and a great DH who is very helpful! The first week was hardest when 1 twin stayed in the NICU and the rest of us came home...juggling time between her, her twin and our oldest was hard. But then everyone was home and it was such a relief I didn't even look at the hard parts! But again- we have been blessed-they came home sleeping in 4 hr stretches and no colic, reflux etc., so it can be enjoyable....and it gets even more enjoyable when you get rewarded with smiles and coos!!
HTH!!

 

The first year with my twins was AWESOME!!!!! Really.

 

The first four months have been really, really tough. It took five weeks to get them both breastfeeding full-time (so I was on a non-stop cycle of pumping, feeding, nursing), and then colic/reflux set in for one of my babies. So, so, so much crying! Of course, it got a little bit better when we got on the right dosage of the right reflux med, but, until then, it was rough. (However, our darkest times had to do with the colic, so I don't know if that's a twin issue or just a colicky baby issue).

BUT, that said, my guys will be 4 months this weekend. And, I am really, honestly beginning to enjoy this experience! The first few months have felt like work (the hardest work I've ever experienced!), but, they are finally adapting to a good schedule, giving us some sleep at night, and the colic is mostly gone! They have such cute, sweet, fun personalities, and I wish that I had more arms so that I could hold and snuggle them all day long! They respond to each other, laugh at their big sister, and "talk" back to us. I LOVE this stage!! And, you know what? It's still tough, because it's two babies! I'll never have enough arms or enough minutes in the day. Even if this experience is wonderful (which it is becoming for me), it is still not easy; there are still challenges involved with caring for 2 babies at once.

I agree with the PP who says that her singleton has been a pleasure; mine was as well. But, even with a singleton, things turn around at the 3-4 month mark. You go from tending to a needy newborn, to a responsive, personality-filled little person. It is truly a lovely time!

 

I have a positive story! I LOVED the first few months. Seriously! I gave birth to the twins at full-term, they were 7.5 / 8 pounds each and very healthy. This may have effected my experience because we didn't have to deal with NICU, colic, feeding issues, sleeping issues or really any of the problems so many other moms on this forum have had to contend with. We dealt with a little acid reflux, but it wasn't a big deal. Overall, we had two healthy, content and relatively "easy" babies.

Yes, I was beyond exhausted, but I wanted the babies so badly that I cherished every single second. I even slept right next to their crib because I couldn't stand to be away. When things got tough and I was so tired I thought I would collapse, I just kept saying to myself - remember this moment, time is going to go fast and you'll want to remember it all... someday you'll want these times back! Someday you'll wish they were this little again and you could do it all over...

Now that my boys are nearly 2, I can tell you how glad I am that I maintained a positive attitude those first few months. I have great memories to look back on and I do not recall that time as terrible as many others have experienced. I was actually sad as they grew those first few months because I loved the baby stage so much. I thought I would never enjoy any stage as much as the infant stage. Then they started crawling, walking, talking etc. I have since learned that EVERY stage is my favorite stage. Just around the corner they will do or experience something new and watching them turn into two little individuals has fascinated me even more along the way.

So don't get discouraged - how you deal with and experience those first months will be based largely upon your own attitude and outlook. Soak it all up and stay focused on the good parts... the time we have with our children goes way too fast.

 

I understand what you mean. I honestly read some of the stories people post about their babies-and I thank God for giving me such great happy babies! Not to say the other babies are not great and happy...You know what I mean!

I will say, like a pp, the first week was very hard because one was in the NICU and traveling back and forth, hating my mil because she was spending time with the one at home and I wasn't, etc...

Other than that-I found that being a twin is one of the most rewarding experiences ever. I have amazing babies! I just love them to pieces-and they are such GOOD babies. Two of them! And it was kinda funny. I would read this forum and people would talk about being in the thick of things, etc and how bad things could be or were or were going to be. I never really experienced that. And I was on my own after 2 weeks. Granted, it's not easy and I sure did shed my share of tears. But I have no complaints whatsoever. DH and I also took 6 hour shifts-so I would get a full 6 hours of sleep. I was not sleep deprived in that sense of getting up every 2 hours(I pumped for them for the first 5 months).

Don't get me wrong-it hasn't been perfectly easy....But it's "easier" than I ever thought it would be. In the beginning, as a first time mom, I thought I was a horrible mom for various reasons, I can't even remember. You just have to savor every moment because they really do grow up right before your eyes!

And it is also true what a pp said...After those first 3 months-things start to change drastically-for the better of course! They are just so much more alert and playful, and the personalities are shining-it's truly and amazing experience and I would do it again in a heartbeat! I just might have to find a new dh! :rotflmbo:

 

QUOTE(spiveyplustwins @ May 8 2008, 07:22 PM) [snapback]763445[/snapback]
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE twinstuff! The expecting forum was so helpful and informative! My boys are 4 weeks old so I have not been in the first year forum long - however, I was reading through posts this morning and got so discouraged and terrified! My boys have been doing very well, but it seems like the only stories I hear are horror stories! It made me scared of what was to come. I read through the post about survival tips and so many of you guys said the first four months were horrible.

Does anyone have any GOOD stories about the first few months - stories that are encouraging instead of terrifying?



I have a positive story. By 5 weeks we were sleeping 8 hours straight at night and by 8 weeks we were doing 12 hours. Only 5 or 6 times since then has one of them woke up during the night.

They love every type of food I have ever given them and have recently transitioned to milk with no issues at all. DD took her first 4 steps today and DS is a few weeks behind her.

We have battled awful reflux but overall life with my twins has been awesome!

 

I'm also glad I didn't read these posts when I was still pregnant - I would have been terrified! But I'm so glad they are here now so that when I'm having a rough day I can get on here and find out that others are going through similar things. I think the hardest thing for me the first 2ish months was feeling like I was basically only a mom to the twins while my DH took care of our 3-year-old son's needs. It was tough b/c I was always the "one" who bathed him, read him books before bed, etc. and while my DH has really enjoyed getting to "take over" some of these things - I've really missed it and felt horribly guilty!

But, the time with the babies has been wonderful - albeit tiring, overwhelming, frustrating, and the cause of some tear-filled days (both mine and the babies) - I've truly enjoyed the newborn phase - it just hasn't been as calm, peaceful, and relaxing as it was with my singleton.

I will say at around 3.5 months things have become amazingly more peaceful and predictable!

 

I think we all come here to vent b/c there is no other place where mothers in our exact same circumstances who will understand are. Sure I know lots of moms IRL, but no twin mommies.

I love my babies to death and am so grateful to be able to be an almost SAHM, if you want to hear all the positive, read my blog, and many of my posts here. But I tend to come here with my venting too b/c it's the only place I can get support and hugs.

You call it negativity, I call it regaining sanity!

 

For me it has been absolutely wonderful. I must say I am fortunate that my babies had no health problems and I'm sure that can make a difference. I have done everything myself since day one (after a csection no less) Dh has changed one baby a grand total of two times. The first few weeks weren't Disney magic but I took it one day at a time and had such a sense of pride that "I did it" at the end of the day that I was ready for the next day. I could have done without the colicky stage but you'll never hear me complain. I wanted twins so bad I swore I'd never complain and I don't. Like a pp said I think alot is in the attitude you approach everything with. When it gets bad I always think "it could be worse". Here we are almost at 9 months and things are so great I can't even begin to tell you. Of course you have teething and all but you get that with one baby too. I truly think it's the best experience ever and have nothing but positive stuff to say. But we are only at 9 months (with another on the way) we will see if I can still feel so great in a few months.

 

Now I feel bad for posting how stressed I was earlier this week.

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ May 8 2008, 08:21 PM) [snapback]763631[/snapback]
Now I feel bad for posting how stressed I was earlier this week.

Maybe if you post one more time and get a new star, you will feel better!

 

Think of it this way - nobody calls the police to say "Everything's fine!"

We come here to kvetch and gripe and b*tch and moan with other moms who understand. There are great things about the first 3-4 mo - they just don't get as much press. And even if your babies don't sleep through the night by 3 days old or whatever, life is still good. It's wonderful seeing the first smiles, hearing the first giggles, feeling them fall asleep in your arms, watching them get stronger a little bit at a time as they try to hold up those heads... It's a huge challenge, no doubt, but there are good things too.

 

I know where you're coming from. We come here to vent/get help and such ~ since everyone here has either BTDT or is going to be going through it shortly.

One big positive is that during that first 4 months....my two lil kiddos LOVE snuggling/cuddling ALL the time. Now that they are mobile it is on their terms

Enjoy`

 

[SIZE=10pt]I know where you're coming from. A lot of us come here to vent/get help and such ~ since everyone here has either BTDT or is going to be going through it shortly.

One big positive is that during that first 4 months....my two lil kiddos LOVED snuggling/cuddling ALL the time. Now that they are mobile they still enjoy it...although it is on their terms

Enjoy your precious lil bundles ~ each day is different and will have it's good AND bad!

April [/SIZE]

ETA: double posted for some reason

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ May 8 2008, 06:44 PM) [snapback]763664[/snapback]
Think of it this way - nobody calls the police to say "Everything's fine!"

We come here to kvetch and gripe and b*tch and moan with other moms who understand. There are great things about the first 3-4 mo - they just don't get as much press. And even if your babies don't sleep through the night by 3 days old or whatever, life is still good. It's wonderful seeing the first smiles, hearing the first giggles, feeling them fall asleep in your arms, watching them get stronger a little bit at a time as they try to hold up those heads... It's a huge challenge, no doubt, but there are good things too.


I fully agree with Holly here. The first 3 months are so were hard...but we have ALL survived..yay us! I have a million positive things to say about my boys. Here are a few for you... They do HUGE belly laughs when I pretend to sneeze. They love their big sister to death and get so excited when she walks in the room. They love to look at each other and "talk". They are finally getting into a groove and we have FUN everyday!
Like I said..there are a million good things...I could go on for days!

 

QUOTE(PJ @ May 8 2008, 09:22 PM) [snapback]763868[/snapback]
I fully agree with Holly here. The first 3 months are so were hard...but we have ALL survived..yay us! I have a million positive things to say about my boys. Here are a few for you... They do HUGE belly laughs when I pretend to sneeze. They love their big sister to death and get so excited when she walks in the room. They love to look at each other and "talk". They are finally getting into a groove and we have FUN everyday!
Like I said..there are a million good things...I could go on for days!


totally agree!

Its like reading reviews for products online, there are so many bad reviews for products, BUT the hundreds of happy customers dont bother posting how happy they are. Does that even make sense?? I am so tired right now!!

I have a TON of great things to say as well: my girls are hilarious & keep me laughing all day long. Even their poops & toots crack me up! They babble like crazy & blow lots of bubbles & think that means they are talking. they just started to notice each other & look at one another like 'who are you?? where did you come from?', they think I am the coolest best person in the planet! they BIG smile at me every single morning before I take them out of their cribs, etc etc etc etc

I do love coming on here to complain though!! sometimes on those rough days or hours misery loves company

 

My girls were on the best schedule and sleeping the best at around 4 months, so I have no complaints about that. I thought the first 6 wks were the hardest, but thats my opinion. It's so different for every situation. Don't let other people scare you, just take their stories with a grain of salt. I had a lady at a gas station tell me that she had twin boys and that they were monsters, and this is with her knowing that I was 7 months pregnant with twins. That's too bad that she felt that way, but I wasn't going to feel that way about my babies or let her take away from my excitement. Best of luck to you and your sweet babies.

MJ

 

I find all day I want to spend with them and enjoy them. So when I have time to go on the computer it is to find out information and twin moms give the best advice. It helps me to know what is happening to them is not unusual. There are things that happen to twins that doesn't usually happen to mom's with singletons. Advice on here is like gold.

I did find my were early 36 weeks and they "woke up" more after their due date.

Welcome to "birth to one year" !!

Heather

 

I'm very sorry you feel this way. I feel there are many encouraging thoughts/stories on this site, but there are also some major reality checks because in all honesty the first year IS very hard.

I know you said despite this you love Twinstuff, so I hope you will continue to stick with us. :hug99:

 

I know I come here to relieve my stress. The women on here have already experienced the same thing I am going through. Twins are totally different from a singleton. My singletons were a piece of cake compared to the twins. I am truely blessed though. I barely remember the first 3 months b/c I was so tired. Now at 8 months old they are on a napping schedule, they are learing how to use sippy cups, i have been breastfeeding for 8 months, they are learning to sit up, they just learned how to crawl, they melt my heart when they say mama or dada or play together. Now it is so much fun. It is so much fun that I have forgotten the first 3 months. If you are having it easy then you are VERY lucky b/c so many of us do have a hard time at first. Good luck and enjoy your babies.

 

QUOTE(spiveyplustwins @ May 8 2008, 07:22 PM) [snapback]763445[/snapback]
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE twinstuff! The expecting forum was so helpful and informative! My boys are 4 weeks old so I have not been in the first year forum long - however, I was reading through posts this morning and got so discouraged and terrified! My boys have been doing very well, but it seems like the only stories I hear are horror stories! It made me scared of what was to come. I read through the post about survival tips and so many of you guys said the first four months were horrible.

Does anyone have any GOOD stories about the first few months - stories that are encouraging instead of terrifying?



My first four months have been great so far, the first month was kind of a blur, but other than that it has been great. I think some of the stories helped me especially on those nights or days here or there when I felt overwhelmed it was nice to know I wasn't along. I am busier than I have ever been taking care of babies and working at home but it get all done. Since I don't seem to have much free time these days I know I am guilty of post more often when I have issues I need advice about rather than of the many wonderful things that happen with my girls. Their sweet little smiles just melt my heart. They are finally beginning to interact more together and it is just the sweetest. There are lots of good wonderful stories out there.

 

I was thinking about your post and I can totally understand where you are coming from. There are lots of positives for sure, but I think we tend to post when we have a problem/or something going on, and that's why it seems mainly negative. Hope I make sense.

amanda

 

QUOTE(xavier2001 @ May 8 2008, 08:09 PM) [snapback]763604[/snapback]
I think we all come here to vent b/c there is no other place where mothers in our exact same circumstances who will understand are. Sure I know lots of moms IRL, but no twin mommies.

I love my babies to death and am so grateful to be able to be an almost SAHM, if you want to hear all the positive, read my blog, and many of my posts here. But I tend to come here with my venting too b/c it's the only place I can get support and hugs.

You call it negativity, I call it regaining sanity!


I agree with you. The last thing I want to hear when coming HERE (safe haven for crazy times..) is that I'm being "too negative". It's called being HONEST and telling how it is!!

I guess if you don't want to hear that; don't read it. It's just the TRUTH and the truth is "the beginning is NO picnic." Whether you hear it from "us" or do not hear it at all, you will have to decide what your experience will be on your own.. What you hear here shouldn't change that.

Good luck!!

 

QUOTE(j&jtwins @ May 9 2008, 08:02 AM) [snapback]764027[/snapback]
There are lots of positives for sure, but I think we tend to post when we have a problem/or something going on, and that's why it seems mainly negative.


I totally agree. I, for one, was happy to read those stories, since there is always a ton of great advice to follow if I were to experience the same issues. I guess it's all in the way you look at it! There are lots of great things about the first year, a lot of posts are just trying to help out with the not so great things that you may or may not experience.

 

Our first months were not horror, some sleepless nights, but not horror. My husband and I had a schedule worked out. He stayed up with the babies for the late feeding and then I would get up with them at 3-4 in the morning and do that feeding. By 3 months they were sleeping through the night. We didn't have issues with feeding or colic either, we were very lucky.

I think you see a lot of the negatives because people are looking for advice or just someone to commiserate with (you know the old adage....misery loves company). It's a place to come and vent to others who have been there, done that and can understand what you are going through.

Don't let the stories scare you off! These ladies will have plenty of great advice for you whether it's getting you through a sticky spot, or just telling you they love the new pictures of your kids!!!

 

I'll tell you this much...if when I was in the thick of the crankiness and sleepless night and I finally got a chance to sit down and visit TS and every other post I read was about how wonderful life with twins is it would have made me feel awful-like I was doing something wrong. But that's just me. Although things are MUCH easier at this point, my boys are somewhat delayed in terms of mobility and sometimes getting on here reading about babies 4 months younger than them starting to crawl is even a bit discouraging. Now of course I by no means feel like these ladies shouldn't post these things-I would shout it from the rooftop! Nor do I think moms shouldn't post about their first few months as a positive experience. But I'm just giving you an example of how at times that you're struggling, you want to hear that someone is going through the same thing or understands-not the opposite.

 

I have had a wonderful, positive experience being a twin mommy! It was not nearly as hard as everyone told me it would be!! After years of trying these are my first, last and only babies so even on the sleepless nights I was able to remind myself that once this stage was over, it was over forever. So I tried to remember to enjoy (and laugh) at even the most trying times.

We live 1000 miles from family, so we are on our own. I have a very wonderful, helpful DH but once I decided that I was in charge on a daily basis, things fell into place. I can count the times that I stayed home and the 3 of us cried all day on one hand. Of course it's challenging, but it is oh so rewarding watching these little ones learn and discover every day. And when they do something that YOU taught them - I can't even describe the feeling.

We are almost ready to move to the 1-5 forum and I have purposely stayed away from going early because there is just no use worrying about things that may not happen to us. I guess just knowing that I can come here for help and advice is knowledge enough about the future.