Will things get any easier?

My girls are almost 17 months old now and they are pretty well behaved most of the time. Lately they have started to do more things that get on my nerves. They throw food, and tantrums, shove their fingers into closed drawers, and just seem to find ways to get into mischeif. I've lost my temper a few times, and I don't like that feeling of not being in control. I thought things were getting easier with them and have been looking forward to having another child around the time they turn 3. Now I'm thinking that I can't handle another one if it's going to be like this. Does it get any easier around 3years old, or does it just get harder? Is there a better age for them to be before I have a 3rd child? Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks

MJ

 

I'v also been wondering when we should start trying for another. I'v always known I wanted more, but my husband disagreed. Then the other night durning dinner he told me I should go off birth control and just see what happens. Well...that isn't going to happen this soon, but maybe in the next few years.

My issue is that I don't want them so close together that I'm going to loose my mind, but I also want them somewhat close in age so they will have each other. The boys also HAVE to be potty trained!!!

Anyway....I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone has to say!

 

My boys were 18 months when I had my daughter. Not the best age but they are 26 months old now and it is perfect. They are fantastic with the baby.

 

I know for us we havejust decided to start ttc...but we are in a little different situation as we have to use IVF in order to conceive. So the twins just turned 2 and not knowing if it will happen we decided to go for it now and hopefully we will have a new little one or ones next winter. I guess it all really depends on your family situation and what you want. I am a SAHM so having one or two more now is practical that way they all will be in school withing a few years of each other and I can go back to part time work. We just have to see what God has in store for us.

 

I think 3 years apart is just about perfect. 3 isn't necessarily an 'easy' age, but it's definitely better than 17mos. I personally consider 14-24mos to be the hardest of all the ages, because they're old enough to be into everything but not old enough to really comprehend and follow the rules. If they're more than 4 years apart, it seems to create a different relationship between the kids than if they're closer, IME, though the relationship between much older and younger siblings is fun too!

 

We had been planning on TTC this summer, but I kept thinking, why am I in such a rush? If we had only one baby, we would be trying for number 2, but I've already got #2, so maybe I should wait a little longer. I'm just not sure I want 3 kids 3 and under. Don't know if this helped at all, but those have been my most recent thoughts.

 

This is just from my experience...all three of my kids were harder at three years old than two years old. I think physically they are a lot of work until age three, but three is when the power struggles really started. I also didn't have a lot of problems with them running around and getting into things until they were three. And by getting into things I mean destroying things and swallowing things they shouldn't! They also had more temper tantrums at age three.

My boys will be four next month, and their baby brother is due in April. We didn't plan to have them four years apart, but for my sanity sake, I think the timing is perfect. The twins are starting to play together a lot longer at one time without getting themselves into trouble and cooperate with me more. I think they will be a big help with their little brother. Also, only one in diapers...a big bonus!

 

QUOTE(TornadoAlleyTwins @ Jan 24 2009, 01:59 AM) [snapback]1159775[/snapback]
I personally consider 14-24mos to be the hardest of all the ages, because they're old enough to be into everything but not old enough to really comprehend and follow the rules.

This is what I was going to say. I really found the 15-22month age to be the hardest time because they know what they want but can't express that to you or understand why they can't have it. The 3-3 1/2 stage was difficult in it's own way, we certainly had more power struggles then, but at least you can (to a point) reason with a 3 year old and they can understand rules/consequences better.

Honestly I think that each stage has it's own challenges and a lot depends on the personality of the individual child. In general though I'd say that new baby+3 year old(s) is easier than new baby+18 month old(s).

 

We just decided to start TTC #3 and my girls are 18 mos. My hubby is more ready than I am but he is not the one who stays home with them ... LOL! I look at how they were 9 months ago and how they are now and how much easier things have gotten and how much cooler they have gotten ... they do some of the funniest things and just about every time they really tick me off ... ten minutes later they are cracking me up! ... they can walk to the car now, they can go up and down the stairs, they feed themselves ... yada yada ... I can only imagine what they will be like at 2.5-3 ... which is when baby #3 will likely come. I think that it will get easier and easier ... though I may be wrong (if I am, please keep me blissfully ignorant =) I always wanted all my kids close in age and my husband feels the same ... he is 7 years younger than his oldest sister and I don't think they ever had the relationship that my siblings and I have (I have a brother and a sister and we are all 2 years apart) ... I think it may be really hard for a year or so but it will be worth it in the future to have our kids close in age. I think once we are out of the naps and sippies stage ... it would be tough to start all over at that point! Just my 2 cents ... good luck to us all ... Oy!

 

When mine were 17 months I had a one month old. It does get easier, but a new baby is an adjustment no matter when you bring one home.

 

Mine are 22 months apart and I would of personally liked to have waited a little longer at the time our baby was born. #3 was not planned. But, now I love having my three boys and having them all under three. It's a riot everyday.

 

We aren't trying for another (ever), but FWIW, I'd say 12-18 months was an especially hard age. After that, they have weeks where they are disobedient, testing boundaries, etc., but at least they are developing common sense and an ability to remember instructions from one minute to the next. I think it's gotten easier at every stage since 18 months.

 

My 5 year old chooses not to remember instructions from one minute to the next.He has a total mind of his own and uses it constantly. I'm with the PP that said three and above is harder than anything before it. Sure the 2 yr old tantrums can try your patience in the worst of times, but they are brief and relatively easy to handle IMHO. My 5 year old was generally a good, sweet boy until he turned 3. Of course he got into things, but he listened to no and rarely questioned it when I told him not to do something or to do something. Now and for the past 2 years, he asks why, he dilly dallys around when he needs to get dressed and leave anytime we need to go some where, he does not listen at all. If I had waited until the age of 4 to start trying, it never would have happened. I LOVE him, I really do, but I lose patience with him two hundred times a day, I really do. He constantly tests the boundaries and acts more like I did at 15 than I ever would have expected a 5 year old to act.I have to throw in there that he has been far more difficult than 2yr old twins with autism. From what I have experienced, all of his peers act the same way most of the time, so it's not just me or mine.

I really like the 2.5 year age difference between my boys. My oldest loves his brothers and loves being a big brother.He wants to get up when they do and help put them to bed every night. He won't take a bath without them. He loves, love , loves them. He was wonderful with them when they were born. He is still good with them, but it's in a hands on touch-feely, wrestling kind of way that boys do. Drives me nut because someone always ends up crying, but boys will be boys. I think as they grow older their relationships with only get better and they will all be very close. I personally have 4 older siblings ranging from 3 yrs older than me to 10 yrs older. I have a different relationship with all of them and age is only one factor in those relationships. I am probably closest with my oldest brother, but growing up we were just too far apart in age to share many experiences. Now it's the best relationship though. He went through all the same things I did, but he was 16 when I was 6 and that's just such a difference at that point.

No matter what you decide being a parent can drive you crazy and you will have angry days. However, there is no better love and no more laughter than what you will experience with more children. One or 20, they are all a blessing and (probably) won't be a regret. Good luck.

Kelly

 

I had a singleton first, but she was 2 1/2 when the twins were born and that was a pretty good difference. She was still young, but it's nice now and she wasn't too young. Also she's still the easiest of the bunch, so I was lucky in that respect.