Will it ever get easier?

I have HAD it with my DH. He does NOTHING to help me out. Yeah he will change a diaper or two and yeah he will feed them when he is at home and awake. But other than that he does NOTHING to help me out! I work during the week and he has told me on several occassions that he cannot help me because his job is more demanding and requires more devotion than my job (he is a detective with the sheriffs office). I am only a system analyst.

I cook, I clean, I dress the boys, I make bottles, I feed them solids, I get in the floor and play with them, I make sure that they are happy and satisfied, I get up at night with them, I DO EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

My job has recently asked me to come in on Sundays for a couple of hours to help out with a big project. In return they are giving me a half of a day off on Fridays. (I am salaried and do not get overtime). My DH flat out said no cause I will not get any monetary compensation. He works an extra job on Saturday nights for law enforcement until about 3 in the morning. So every Sunday he sleeps in. I at first figured that I could take the boys with me to work, but DH said NO. I then thought that I could come in in the afternoons. He said no to that! WHY?? Can't he keep the boys? I feel like I have to ask permission for him to keep the boys. I honestly think that he could not hack it all alone by himself. All the other times he did it alone, we had a big fight because I was gone too long.

PLEASE tell me that this gets easier!! I am really starting to hate my life.

 

I wish I could tell you it gets easier... your DH sounds like mine though...

My guys are 2.5 yrs old... and my DH has NOT yet kept the boys by himself.

Mine does nothing around the house either, I do it all... :hug99: We are in the same boat.

 

I also wish I could say it gets easier. Typically, a man is what he is and does not change much. I do find that some guys are better about being with their kids though when they are not in baby stage anymore. :hug99: Sorry you are having such a tough time. :hug99:

 

Oh honey, I feel for you, I really do!! I would simply explain to him that he does NOT have a choice!! This is what needs to be done! He is their parent also and has to make adjustments in his life also. I hope you work something out soon! Many :hug99: to you!!

 

I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you. I don't know what I'd do without my helpful DH. I can only hope things get better for you! :hug99:

 

I can't say that my boat is quite that leaky, but not too far off. Dh does keep the babies here and there- but more cause I ask him in front of other people and I don't think he wants to look bad. They are just over 10 months old and he has given Joseph ONE bath- I was SO sick (105 temp and could barely stand up), Joseph has to have a bath and have his hair washed every night with the helmet or he could have skin breakdown. He has only fed them baby food 4 times.

He is much better with my 4 yr old. He wasn't hands on when Micah was little either but now that he's a bit older and can express himself DH seems much less intimidated. It might get better...there is hope (there is ALWAYS hope :hug99: )

 

Maybe he is just too chicken to be alone with the two of them. Why don't you just say I need a break and walk out one night and leave him to do it all alone. Maybe he needs a wake up call to see how hard it is for you and that you need him to do it sometimes. I have done that before. Where my hubby walks in the door and I go. I Have To Leave or I will throw someone out the window. That usually gets me a quiet dinner at a restaurant with a magazine and a movie. He has got to learn to do something now or he never will!

 

Ok I totally know this is not what you want to talk about but I just saw where you were from and your DH"s job. Are you anywhere near South Onslow (sp?) County? A detective just reached me over the weekend, I could really use some help. Can you send me a pm if he might be near that branch of the sheriff's department?

I hope you are able to work something out. I think it does get easier when the children get older for alot of men. They don't know what to do with a child until they are old enough to throw the ball around KWIM?