Why won't they sleep?

I am at my wits end... my girls have never slept through the night. NEVER! I know that we didn't start out exactly the way we were supposed to. They were rocked to sleep and CIO doesn't work especially now. So I know all the things we have done wrong, but somebody please tell me what we can do right? Mattie has had chronic ear infections for several months and I know that is some of the problem, but why do I get the ones that refuse to sleep. Last night she woke up for milk, milk, milk at 12pm, i give her milk, she goes back to sleep, wakes up again 2 and stays awake until 4 just jabbering and crying and whining. So needless to say, I am :lazy: today.

Thanks for listening to my random nonsense. ardon:

 

I think you need to just not go in, and let her be. If she is playing, whatever, as soon as you go in, she is getting attention. I would just make sure it is as dark as you can get it, and stay out until morning. If you do need to check, do a quick check, no talking, and then leave.

My friend had to do CIO at 22 months, and it was very hard, because her daughter was older, and knew that if she kept it up long enough, mom would rescue her. Once she realizes her nighttime playtime isn't going to happen, she will start sleeping better. It will be hard, but worth it for all of you in the long run.

 

I absolutely agree with Sharon. You might have a really hard week or so, but in the end it will so be worth it.

 

I agree with Sharon too. :good: We are in the midst of doing CIO with Tony. It is not fun doing it to someone who is 20 months old and can scream at you through the monitor as opposed to just crying. He was teething, going through a growth spurt and then, got sick. So we were there for every cry...now he's feeling better and he needs to sleep {us too} We did CIO last night and he cried twice for about twenty minutes, we didn't go in and he slept until morning. Is her ear infection gone? Could the meds she is on be affecting this {someone mentioned it in the bc, Kathy??} How is her eating during the day? If her infection is gone and she's eating okay, I would try and do CIO because you all need to sleep. :hug99: And it's definately not nonsense.

 

She has been off the neb and antibiotics since Friday. She is eating fine during the day. She is just sooo spoiled and she knows that if she cries I will go to her. I think I am the one that is postponing the whole CIO.

 

I agree w/ the pp's. CIO is tough, breaks your heart, but it works. We had to do CIO w/ Sarah @ 6 months and have had to do it again at least 1x a year since. It's truly the only way you are going to get any sleep. The way we did it was to let her cry for 10 min, go in, make sure she is okay, but don't talk to her. Then let her cry another 15 min, repeat. 20 min, repeat. And usually by 30 min she would be asleep. As for waking for milk...that's a habit you don't want to start b/c she doesn't need it in the middle of hte night if she gets enough during the day.

Sleep issues are so tough, but stick to your guns! Good luck!

 

Brandy, I have to agree with everyone else. I know CIO is hard, I HATE it but it does work. I can also tell you that with Olivia I didn't do it & she was a horrible sleeper & then she got old enough to climb out of the crib (she was only about 21 months old) and then we really had a hard time because you can't really do CIO if you can't keep them in the bed. She would come running down the hall screaming bloody murder. I couldn't bring myself to lock her in her room like some people tried to tell me to do, so I spent months & months sitting in a chair beside her bed until she would fall asleep & then trying to tiptoe out so she wouldn't wake up, it was HORRIBLE! Anyway, she's 12 now & sleeps fine but you don't want to go through that if you don't have to, so I would give CIO another chance while you can. :hug99:

 

Big :hug99: lady. CIO is harder on us than them. I agree with everyone else, it sounds like it may be time for Little Miss Mattie :hug99:

 

Modified CIO works too. Sleep Lady Kim West has a book Good Night Sleep Tight. I highly recommend it!!!

 

Brandy-CIO is hard, but it does work. We did it with all 3 of ours and they are all great sleepers. You are right, she does know if she cries you will go in, they are smart and figure that out! I have never gone right in to get any of my kids when they first start making noise. If they are talking I let them be. I agree, it may be a hard week, but will get much better after that . You deserve a full nights sleep. :hug99:

 

One more thing that someone touched on. Do it now, before she is in a bed, it will only be worse then!

 

Sorry you are having all this trouble Brandy. I'm going to vote CIO as well. It is VERY hard for us, but works so well for the child. I've had problems a couple of times with Ava waking, but a night or 2 of CIO and she is back to a great sleeper. And NOW is really the time to give it a go, before it gets even worse! Good Luck :hug99:

 

Have you thought about a dairy allergy? Ear infections are a symptom of dairy allergies. My girls never slept through the night until we got them on a specialformula due to the allergy but even as they slept they moaned and groaned. When they were 12 months we started yogurt and cheese. They quit sleeping through the night and wanted feed every few hours or would be wide awake and want to play. They also both had double ear infections within a week of starting dairy. We cut out all dairy and within 3 days were sleeping through the night again and the ear infections gone.

Because they were such horrible sleepers, we used the pick up put down method by the baby whisperer. At 18 months, my husband and I both did it since there was two babies. It took 20 minutes the first night, 10 minutes the second night and no minutes the 3rd night. We would do it in the middle of night too once we had all their allergens eliminated from their diet. They are now 2, all allergens have been eliminated, they go to bed at 7:30pm by us placing them in their cribs, putting their blankets on and walking out the room. They sleep until 7:15am. It was one of the best thing we did for them.

 

I've only read about half of this thread. but if you're going to do CIO it helps if you're desperate enough to get your own sleep back. I mean you have to really want your full night's sleep again. ANd it helped me to have DH on my side, by my side. "not letting" me go in there.

 

Maybe to make the CIO a little easier to cope with you can get the go ahead too from your doc that it is okay to do so. We didn't do full on CIO, but I would let them cry for a good while. Most times when I went in there, it's because I doubted my instincts that they were okay. By 30 minutes of crying, I would convince myself that something must be wrong. I would say 9 times out of 10, there never was. Trust yourself and maybe having another voice (of a higher authority like a doctor) will help get you through it.

You're exhausted and so is your baby. CIO (as long as everything is okay) sounds like the perfect remedy. Good luck and hang in there....

 

Hi Brandy, Just wondering if you tried any of this. I'm going against the grain here. I think if she has infected ears right now, she is uncomfortable and of course she wakes up crying. However, if her ears are fine and there are no physical problems, then I agree that cio is probably neccessary. I do have one I let cio, because he handled it. The other one I let cio going to sleep and is awesome at that now, but when he wakes in the middle of the night he will literally cry for the rest of the night, where as I can solve the problem in two minutes otherwise. So, I don't do cio with him. So :hug99: , unhappy sleepers are so hard.