Why is their Separation Anxiety at it's worst NOW?

My boys will be 2 in about 2 weeks. Within the past 2-3 weeks, their separation anxiety is through the roof. They won't let me leave the room, even if I'm within earshot of them. I talk to them from wherever I have went (ie kitchen), stating what I'm doing (ie cooking), & I always tell them before I leave the room. Nothing has helped & DH and I are going CRAZY! If the boys are playing nicely & we mention stepping out to go to the bathroom (for example), they immediately start crying & have to follow us.

They do not have any issues with daycare drop off & don't have problems if THEY are the ones to leave the room (I can't believe they're playing in their room right now as I type this)!

I'm at my wits end. They have NEVER been like this before, even as infants!

Any suggestions? Or is this just a REALLLLLY.LONNNNNNG.PHAAAAASE????? Is this happening to other almost-2-yr-olds out there?

 

I wish I had a cure for separation anxiety! My two are only 18 months and they go through phases where DH and I cannot leave the room without screaming and tantrums. Big :hug: to you. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to minimize it. One of the things my Mom did (of course I was older then 2) was that I used to miss her terribly when she went to work, so I took a pillow and dressed it in her nightgown and carry it around. Maybe getting a little stuffed animal dressed in a clothing article of yours or your DH might help? I just thought of this now and I might try it out on my kids.

 

When you leave the room and they start to cry, do you let them or go right back in?

My boys are 18 months and just recently, if I leave for any reason they will freak out. But within a minute or two they go back to what they were doing. When I have to step away, I don't make a big deal out of it and the same goes when I come back.



I figure at some point they will have to learn to understand that when I leave, I will come back and me running back to them every time they cry won't help.

 

I agree that not making a big deal about leaving does help a little bit. However, for us, mostly with Jackson, it was a really long phase. It's just now getting better. Hope that doesn't jinx it!

 

I let them cry. It's not like I can stay in the same room as them ALL the time. I'd say 9 times out of 10, they continue to cry until I return (whether it's a few minutes or longer). It's ridiculous. One day, I ran downstairs to flip the laundry & Conner was so hysterical by the time I returned that he was gasping for air.

I'm really not that fun. I don't know WHY they get so upset when I leave....

 

They might be old enough to understand if you warn them and talk to them about what you are doing, that you will be back in a minute, and how they are feeling when you are gone. You'll probably be doing all the talking now, but it might help for them to feel more in control. "Mommy has to go change the laundry. I will be back in a minute. I know you want me to stay and play, but I have to do this and then I'll be back." Then when you return if they are still crying "Are you upset? You didn't want me to leave? But I came back and I'm right here now!" etc etc... This has helped my girls... one just doesn't want me to leave, the other just doesn't like to feel out of control. Both used to scream a lot, but its gotten better especially since we started using the phrase "in a minute." :hug:

 

Alice couldn't care less, but Royce's separation anxiety is getting worse and worse. I *have* to be holding him, I *have* to be in the room, he *has* to be in my lap. Thankfully this morning he didn't scream when I left for work.

But Alice actually snuggled and gave me kisses and hugs! My reserved little girl showed me some loving!! And she said something that sounded suspiciously like "Iluyooo"