Why do people say stupid things about twins?

I've had someone suggest that I won't be able to tell my boys apart. This is really hurtful--why wouldn't I be able to tell my own children apart?

Obviously the jerk has no experience with twins and just couldn't keep his mouth shut because he had to be a know-it-all, but really, I'm not stupid or blind, and I'm their mother for god's sake.

Eh, I'm getting irritable. :angry: Usually I'd just let something like that go, but today its really bothering me.

 

I had a wife of a distant deceased relative tell me that my sister & I could not be identical twins because she was an inch taller than I was. There are a lot of people out there who are just plain ignorant of certain things and twins is one of them! Believe me, it's only starting! Just try to let the comments roll off of you. Smile and nod your head!
On a similar note, when I ask my mom who is who in pictures, sometimes she isn't so sure!
Congrats for making it this far with your boys!! Wow!

 

I felt the same way you're describing how you feel. I have found that people have less to say on things like that after they're born b/c I'm actually now caring for them successfully. It's hard for them to say it'll be too hard/I can't take care of them, etc. etc. . Congrats on 37-1/2 weeks! Can't wait to see baby pics later. How exciting.

 

Sorry for the double post. So much for editing skills.

 

People ask if I can tell my b/g twins apart. I usually say no and smile! Welcome to the land of stupid questions!

People ask if I can tell my b/g twins apart. I usually say no and smile! Welcome to the land of stupid questions!

 

Have you ever seen the movie "The Parent Trap"? The two girls dress alike and style their hair the same way and suddenly their parents can't tell them apart. Seriously, that's how most people think it is. They also remember a set of twins from school and how they couldn't tell them apart.

The later in my pregnancy I got, the less tolerance I had for such stupidity. I did hear much worse things before they were born and I hope you're spared. :hug99:

 

People do say dumb things. I often get the "are they going to be identical?" question from people...and mine are a boy and a girl. Oh well. I have given up explaining it.

Anyway, good luck this week. I saw on a different post that you are having them at the end of this week if they haven't come yet. You are so close... Can't wait to see the pictures!!!

 

QUOTE(JicJac @ Jan 7 2008, 12:22 PM) [snapback]561086[/snapback]
There are a lot of people out there who are just plain ignorant of certain things and twins is one of them! Believe me, it's only starting! Just try to let the comments roll off of you. Smile and nod your head!


I agree! :hug99: Don't let them get to you, they are just trying to make small talk, even if it isn't what we want to hear. Congrats on your boys Momma!!! :hug99:

 

Thanks ladies. I knew you all would understand!

I think part of why its irritating is because I have a twin brother, and he and I have been getting this crap all our lives, and I think I'm starting to get that "Mama Bear" instinct where I want to shield my babies from all the stupidity and ignorance!!!

 

QUOTE(TwinLove @ Jan 7 2008, 12:48 PM) [snapback]561138[/snapback]
I agree! :hug99: Don't let them get to you, they are just trying to make small talk, even if it isn't what we want to hear. Congrats on your boys Momma!!! :hug99:


[SIZE=12pt]Well Said!!!! Don't worry there are many other dumb things that are coming up! Just shake your had, Nod, and Forget Them! [/SIZE]

 

QUOTE
There are a lot of people out there who are just plain ignorant of certain things and twins is one of them! Believe me, it's only starting!


I just neevr understood why they think they will know more about twins than we do or will. Like the PP's said you just have to let them roll off you, sometimes thats easier said than done.
:bow2: :bow2: Way to go on carrying you babies this far. You have done an amazing job!! Cant wait to see pictures and hear your birthstory.

 

Here are a couple of things ALOT of people tell me;

"Are they twins? They look the same, how can you tell them apart?"

"They look like a handful. They must keep you busy huh."

I get this one all the time from complete strangers and family!;
"Are you going to have more, and try for a girl."

I know people are trying to be nice to you, but I do get a little anoyed because you hear it all the time. I dont know maybe I'm just being a little b*#$chy sometimes. LOL :lol: :lol:

 

Yeah, I know the feeling... I went to the store the other day and I was shopping with my other children. We were picking out some baby clothes for the twins. My youngest kept finding really cute girl stuff... and I said they would be great if we were having girls, but we are having boys. A couple next to us congratulated me, and then said goodluck... when they found out we had 4 children already... they really wished me luck. It's funny. I know they were trying to be nice and cute, but at the same time I felt like saying I don't need luck, I have lots of love for all my children. I was toooooo tired to think of anything witty to say so I just smiled and said thanks. Sometimes, people don't really think things through before they say something. OH well, I guess like PP have said, let it go. I have to take my own advice... build a bridge and get over it! LOL Good luck this week!

 

How neat that you're a twin! I know what you mean about people saying stupid things. It's like finding out I'm carrying 2 babies gives people permission to say the rudest things. I think you say the word twins and people around you get hit with the stupid stick or something. Most of the time it just makes me laugh (inwardly and at their ignorance- not because I think they are funny!) And really!- - - People should get a clue that when you look 50 weeks pregnant and you are sitting in an uncomfortable seat in the OB office reading yet one more of their prenancy magazines filled with a bunch of skinny preggos wearing lingerie and the clock on the wall has made 2 full rotations since you got there b/c the appts are always backed up. . . . that maybe it wouldn't be a good time for a stupid twin remark Thanks for starting this post, just maybe I needed to rant a bit too !

 

I have to admit....I'm terrified of not being able to tell our girls apart....and it adds to my silly paranoia when people say to me, "what if you can't tell them apart." Or they offer suggestions on how to tell who is who.

 

QUOTE(bran24 @ Jan 7 2008, 09:52 PM) [snapback]562166[/snapback]
I have to admit....I'm terrified of not being able to tell our girls apart....and it adds to my silly paranoia when people say to me, "what if you can't tell them apart." Or they offer suggestions on how to tell who is who.

I have that fear too

Dianna

 

When somebody asked me how we were going to tell ours apart, I told them that we were having their heels tattooed at the hospital just to make sure. Boy, did I get a dirty look for that, too. :laughing:

 

I agree, people always feel they're entitled to invade your privacy when you are expecting but it's even worst when you're having twins. Some are really stupid, and often very rude. I've hated hearing:

- "you don't look like you're expecting twins"
- "geeez!"
- "looks like someone's ready to go to the hospital" (while you're only 25+ weeks)
- "good luck!" with rolling eyes
- "better you than me"
- "now that I see you I don't think it's such a great idea to have twins" (now that's really a good one!)

and so on...

It usually bothers me, but I smile and pretend it's OK because I'm not good at responding. Once I used an answer that someone suggested on this site: after the "you don't look like you're having twins" I answered "that's not what my OB/gyn is telling me! I have a X-weeks belly while I'm only Y-weeks pregnant!". It generally shuts the person off. Quite satisfying

 

we've been getting this 1 alot- "maybe you'll have a boy and a girl and then 1 of you can get snipped and you can be done"
this is our first pregnancy, and we're young, 21 and 23. we're excited and want a family! im the oldest of 8 (yep! all of us have the same parents lol), and DH is along for the ride! whatever makes me happy makes him happy. when people make the comment i just smile and say no, we want at LEAST 4. im sorta used to the rude comments. people used to say nasty things to my mom all the time when she was pregnant because theres so many of us, but it still pisses me off.