Why do I have Baby Fever so soon!

I find myself lurking in the Expecting Twins forum reminiscing over my days there.. how I miss it at times! I DO NOT want to get pregnant soon - would like to wait until the boys can somewhat do things on their own, but lately I have been getting baby fever; missing being pregnant and going to the doctor all the time... feeling them move, seeing them for the very first time, that hospital/baby smell... I even miss recovering! ARGH - why do I miss all that! I LOVE being a mom right now - I love this stage that the boys are in. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every minute of these babies, and I don't feel like I have ever been real frustrated or not happy... So why am I having baby fever?!?

Anyone else ever feel this way?

 

While I am not going to have any other children, I do miss some of that stuff too. I guess it is the bittersweet feelings of them growing up! At least that is what I tell myself. ^_^

 

I am sad that these are my last babies. I look back a lot at their pctures when they were first born. I just can't beleive how fast time goes by. I do know though that 4 kids is enough for us and I also never want to be pregnant again.

 

I have it too!! I could of written your exact same post. I love every part of babyhood. I even miss the sleepless nursing nights. I got my tubes tied unfortunetly as with my two pregancies I had really bad morning sickness and always thought I'd only have 2 kids, so when I got preg with the twins I thought 3 was more than enough and that I was done. Ha! i told my DH this morning that I think we need one more and he just laughed as when my dr tied my tubes he was a little hesitant as I was only 26 when he did it, (I am now 27). Oh, well. We can't afford any more kids anyway so hopefully these baby wanting feelings will gradually go away or I will be the one in a million that get preg with tubes tied!

And boy do I cringe with jealosey when I see a pregger mama or a mama with a new born!

 

I have a theory about this...

We get so much attention as pregnant moms, then during delivery, right after delivery, etc. When all that is over, the attention is no longer on us. I am by no means one of those people who needs the focus to be on me, but I recognize that it feels good to be taken care of and treated as "special".

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ Jan 2 2009, 08:00 AM) [snapback]1129703[/snapback]
I have a theory about this...

We get so much attention as pregnant moms, then during delivery, right after delivery, etc. When all that is over, the attention is no longer on us. I am by no means one of those people who needs the focus to be on me, but I recognize that it feels good to be taken care of and treated as "special".



This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. Exactly.

And I also remind myself.. when 'babyfever' happens..

It's not going to be like it was the first time. Now I have other kids to take care of. It won't be about me AT ALL and it won't even be all about the baby. It just wouldn't be the same.

Take your time. The feeling might just pass and you are in no rush.

What you're feeling is normal

Enjoy those boys!

 

I feel that way too! I miss being pregnant although I don't miss the last couple of weeks of pregnancy and birth. I miss seeing little baby faces for the first time and hearing them cry for the first time. I am however, excited to see my little wiggle worms grow up. I do wish that I had a little girl though. God has blessed me with three beautiful boys but I really wanted at least one girl. I told my husband that maybe in about four more years (I'll be 33) we can try one more time for that girl.

 

And I also remind myself.. when 'babyfever' happens..

It's not going to be like it was the first time. Now I have other kids to take care of. It won't be about me AT ALL and it won't even be all about the baby. It just wouldn't be the same.


I think this too! I miss meeting the babies for the first time and I loved my hospital stay. whenever I sent the babies to the nursery to sleep I was always so excited to have them back and cuddle with them. My neighbor gave birth two days ago and I can't wait to hold her newborn. It's crazy though because mine are soooo young. I miss fresh babies!

 

Let me tell you being pregnant this soon after the twins has been hard for me. I'm excited about the baby, but not about the pregnancy. Take a deep breath, find a newborn to cuddle and then go play with your twins. Maybe if you and your DH decide when exactly you want to start trying again it will help you get over this baby fever. Do guys have baby fever? Most don't...not fair

 

Sure, lots of people reminicse about that time! It can be a really wonderful time .

 

I wouldn't say that I have baby fever but I am thinking about having just one more. Right after the girls were born I was pretty sure they would be my last, my DS was only 18mths when they were born. I got pregnant with my twins when my DS was 9mths big surprise so it all happened so quick. Now I feel like I would like to have one more, not now or even in the next 1.5yrs but I told DH to cancel his big appointment. Just keeping our options open.

From experience I can tell you that it's not as wonderful the 2nd time around. I had an 18mth old who still needed a ton of attention so I couldn't focus on my girls as much as I would have liked to. I barely enjoyed being pregnant b/c I was running around after a toddler all day and was so tired I could barely function by 5pm. My girls are amazing but I am lucky that they are so easy going b/c their brother is quite a handful.

 

oh i know how you feel thats how i got the twins! :lol: i had really BAD baby fever after my 2nd DS and wanted to try when he was 1 yr old; we waited til he was 2 so he was 3 when they were born I got Pg when DS 1 he was only 15 months old and that was really hard I agree with the others to enjoy this time as a new mom to crawlers/crusiers and if you still feel that you want to have another you can talk to Dh

 

QUOTE(pamallhoney @ Jan 2 2009, 01:19 PM) [snapback]1130171[/snapback]
Let me tell you being pregnant this soon after the twins has been hard for me. I'm excited about the baby, but not about the pregnancy. Take a deep breath, find a newborn to cuddle and then go play with your twins. Maybe if you and your DH decide when exactly you want to start trying again it will help you get over this baby fever. Do guys have baby fever? Most don't...not fair

Pam did you find out if its one or 2 again>??

 

I can relate to the baby fever. I'm already planning on a FET later this winter/spring.

 

yup, i've got baby fever big time. although, we'll be waiting till the girls are at least 2.5 before we start trying again.

it's so funny - before we got pregnant, we both agreed that we wanted just 2. when we found out we were having twins, we thought, great we're done! i remember the exact moment when we both realized we wanted more. it was our first night home from the hospital (the girls were still in the NICU & we were both pretty bummed) so we went to give each other a big hug. i leaned way forward like i had been for the last couple of months to hug around my baby belly - and it wasn't there anymore! it ended up being an awkward hug because we were both wanting that baby belly back. :laughing: i'm just glad that we're both on the same page about it though. that's gotta be so tough when one partner wants more but the other doesn't.

 

QUOTE(miss_bossy18 @ Jan 2 2009, 04:02 PM) [snapback]1130300[/snapback]
i remember the exact moment when we both realized we wanted more. it was our first night home from the hospital (the girls were still in the NICU & we were both pretty bummed) so we went to give each other a big hug. i leaned way forward like i had been for the last couple of months to hug around my baby belly - and it wasn't there anymore! it ended up being an awkward hug because we were both wanting that baby belly back. :laughing: i'm just glad that we're both on the same page about it though. that's gotta be so tough when one partner wants more but the other doesn't.



What a sweet story!

 

QUOTE(2+2more! @ Jan 2 2009, 03:09 PM) [snapback]1130238[/snapback]
Pam did you find out if its one or 2 again>??

ONE! Thank God, but this one is making more sick then the twins combined

 

I am glad I'm not the only one...we have already talked about more. We are waiting until they are 2-ish - but it seems so far away! I keep reminding myself to focus on our amazing little ladies, because they are growing so quickly! I really can't wait for more though - like a pp said, I enjoyed everything, from the belly to the movements, to the hospital stay (even the food lol!) and of course the tiny little babies. Now if I can just come to terms with my new body.... :mellow:

 

my guys are only 3 months old but i've already been thinking about whether i'd want to do this again. it's sooooo stressful when it's stressful. but those wonderful quiet moments when i've got a baby sleeping in my arms, and i've got my hands cupped under his bottom as he's curled up under my chin and i can hear him breathing and feel his breath on my neck... there's kind of a perfection in that moment and i know it only lasts such a short time. it's like i'm prematurely nostalgic because i know every day they're getting bigger and i just want them to slow down and be my little guys for a while. i always said i only wanted one, then ended up pregnant with twins. it turns out i love having twins and wouldn't have it any other way. and now, after a lifetime of thinking i wanted one, and ONLY one, i'm thinking maybe i'll want to have another in a few years. because this is going by so fast.

 

QUOTE(pamallhoney @ Jan 2 2009, 09:35 PM) [snapback]1130707[/snapback]
ONE! Thank God, but this one is making more sick then the twins combined

how exciting! one will be easier how are you coping with Ms with 2 8 month olds???? I was a mess for 5 months puking daily! im sure this is very hard atm on you all :hug:

 

My two will be 16 months when this one is born. I had the baby fever when the girls were 5 months of age. I think because they hadn't started to crawl and get into things I wasn't really aware of how much more work they become when you have to WATCH them more often. You have to watch they dont' get into things, crawl onto things, and with each other. I was in baby bliss because my two slept great, napped great, were happy and I thought I had it all worked out. (give me my mommy medal)

I didn't think what it would be like to be soooooo tired and pg while picking up twins. I didn't think about 3 car seats in our mid-sized car. I didnt' think of what type of stroller you need for those ages. When you are pg the second time around you don't get the same "special" treatment like you do the first time. You feel bad when you are too exhausted to play with them.

I wish I could have waited until they at least were walking and could walk up the stairs to bed, or get into the car on their own, or climb into their chair, in a big girl bed so my belly isn't in the way of the crib......

I was happy with my two and now I worry that having 3 is going to be alot of work, more than I can handle. I'm having another girl as well, and I wish at least if it was a boy there would be something "different" to look forward to. Right now I feel like I'm looking forward to work. I've been able to go to the library, mother's groups, etc. with the twins but I think it will be impossible to do it with 3 under 16 months.

sorry for being a downer on the topic, it is just these are things I never thought of in my moments of baby bliss


Heather

 

I'm still in survival mode with my 7 wk old twins, but literally a couple of hours after my c/s, I told DH that I miss being pg. I truly loved my pg and was in awe of it. I never dreamed I'd get the opportunity to experience pg to begin with and loved it. Granted, I could sleep when I needed to, etc.

Your comments about a second pg not being the same opened my eyes though! It truly wouldn't be the same. Plus, if we ever get another miracle (six embies on ice ~ but DH says we're done since we have the twins and he has four girls from his first marriage ), there won't be any relaxing and napping all the time.

But I too still want another baby!

 

QUOTE(heathertwins @ Jan 4 2009, 08:22 PM) [snapback]1132875[/snapback]
My two will be 16 months when this one is born. I had the baby fever when the girls were 5 months of age. I think because they hadn't started to crawl and get into things I wasn't really aware of how much more work they become when you have to WATCH them more often. You have to watch they dont' get into things, crawl onto things, and with each other. I was in baby bliss because my two slept great, napped great, were happy and I thought I had it all worked out. (give me my mommy medal)

I didn't think what it would be like to be soooooo tired and pg while picking up twins. I didn't think about 3 car seats in our mid-sized car. I didnt' think of what type of stroller you need for those ages. When you are pg the second time around you don't get the same "special" treatment like you do the first time. You feel bad when you are too exhausted to play with them.

I wish I could have waited until they at least were walking and could walk up the stairs to bed, or get into the car on their own, or climb into their chair, in a big girl bed so my belly isn't in the way of the crib......

I was happy with my two and now I worry that having 3 is going to be alot of work, more than I can handle. I'm having another girl as well, and I wish at least if it was a boy there would be something "different" to look forward to. Right now I feel like I'm looking forward to work. I've been able to go to the library, mother's groups, etc. with the twins but I think it will be impossible to do it with 3 under 16 months.

sorry for being a downer on the topic, it is just these are things I never thought of in my moments of baby bliss
Heather


I've said it before, Heather, and I'll say it again.. THANKS for being honest. It's easy to say "go for it.. you'll figure it out!" It's not easy to say what you just did. I believe you 100% and remind myself of ALL of that when I have my "moments" (which is like once in 15 months LOL).

Thanks a lot!

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ Jan 4 2009, 09:19 PM) [snapback]1132946[/snapback]
I've said it before, Heather, and I'll say it again.. THANKS for being honest. It's easy to say "go for it.. you'll figure it out!" It's not easy to say what you just did. I believe you 100% and remind myself of ALL of that when I have my "moments" (which is like once in 15 months LOL).

Thanks a lot!



Heather, I agree with what she said! It takes a lot of courage to be that honest about the reality of a pregnancy and already having young children at home. My DS was 3.5 years-old when my twins were born and I can honestly say 3 kids is a lot of work - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. With one child (or maybe 2, I've never had "just" 2 since we went from 1 to 3) the child adapts, in a way, to the life you are already living. If you want to go out to eat spur of the moment, you go out to eat. If you want to pack up and go out of town for the weekend, you pack up and go out of town, etc. Grocery store trips? No problem! A doctor's appointment (you or the child) - also no problem. Asking the grandparents to babysit? Not an issue - 2 adults, 1 (or 2) kid(s). It just gets a lot more complicated as additional children join a family. That's not to say that it isn't worth it -b/c without a doubt, it is absolutely wonderful having more children to love - but it isn't just peaches and cream!

The 2nd pregnancy is MUCH more difficult b/c you are now a Mommy - you can't just take a nap whenever you want, sleep in til 10:00 a.m. or go to bed at 7:00 p.m. - there's a child waiting for dinner, a bath, asking to play or read a book, etc. I have 3 kids - I am absolutely thrilled to have 3 kids - in fact, if I hadn't had twins there would have been no way I would have had a 3rd even though I've always wanted 3. We would have been too worried about "affording" a 3rd. So, it worked out perfectly b/c we had our third without having to make the decision. We're done having kids. We've got our 3 happy, healthy, perfect little boys and we're so blessed. I know we're done - but I still get that "itch" to be pregnant again, bring home a newborn baby, breastfeeding all day and all night (yes, I really did enjoy bfing all of the time - there's something so special about it!), etc. But I know that that feeling is just b/c that is such a very special time in life - and one that goes by much too quickly. There's just a short period in this (hopefully) long life that we live when we have a baby growing inside of us, an even shorter period of time when we have a tiny, newborn baby - totally dependent on us for everything - and I honestly think when I'm 50 years old I'll still get that "itch" just b/c this time in our lives is so special and so fleeting. So, I think baby fever, at least for me, will always be something I feel at various times throughout my life. But it doesn't always mean that in reality we are ready for a new baby or that we really even want another baby. I had baby fever when my older DS was around 5-6 months of age - I'd seen newborns at the pediatricians office and think "Oh, I want another baby!" - but I knew that really I wanted to relive my DS being that tiny - just for a day! Yet, I knew that I *really* didn't want another baby at the time b/c my DS was still a baby and I didn't want to miss out on all of the stages to come.

 

There are almost 5 years between my oldest DD and my twins and we still had issues with DD. I am so glad we waited a long while before trying for another one. When I was pregnant DD was independent and understood my need to veg on the couch. I can't imagine running after twins and being pregnant. No way! But I do miss being pregnant in a bad way. I just want to be pregnant though. I don't want the kiddo that comes along with it. My family is complete!

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Jan 4 2009, 10:31 PM) [snapback]1133044[/snapback]
Heather, I agree with what she said! It takes a lot of courage to be that honest about the reality of a pregnancy and already having young children at home. My DS was 3.5 years-old when my twins were born and I can honestly say 3 kids is a lot of work - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. With one child (or maybe 2, I've never had "just" 2 since we went from 1 to 3) the child adapts, in a way, to the life you are already living. If you want to go out to eat spur of the moment, you go out to eat. If you want to pack up and go out of town for the weekend, you pack up and go out of town, etc. Grocery store trips? No problem! A doctor's appointment (you or the child) - also no problem. Asking the grandparents to babysit? Not an issue - 2 adults, 1 (or 2) kid(s). It just gets a lot more complicated as additional children join a family. That's not to say that it isn't worth it -b/c without a doubt, it is absolutely wonderful having more children to love - but it isn't just peaches and cream!

The 2nd pregnancy is MUCH more difficult b/c you are now a Mommy - you can't just take a nap whenever you want, sleep in til 10:00 a.m. or go to bed at 7:00 p.m. - there's a child waiting for dinner, a bath, asking to play or read a book, etc. I have 3 kids - I am absolutely thrilled to have 3 kids - in fact, if I hadn't had twins there would have been no way I would have had a 3rd even though I've always wanted 3. We would have been too worried about "affording" a 3rd. So, it worked out perfectly b/c we had our third without having to make the decision. We're done having kids. We've got our 3 happy, healthy, perfect little boys and we're so blessed. I know we're done - but I still get that "itch" to be pregnant again, bring home a newborn baby, breastfeeding all day and all night (yes, I really did enjoy bfing all of the time - there's something so special about it!), etc. But I know that that feeling is just b/c that is such a very special time in life - and one that goes by much too quickly. There's just a short period in this (hopefully) long life that we live when we have a baby growing inside of us, an even shorter period of time when we have a tiny, newborn baby - totally dependent on us for everything - and I honestly think when I'm 50 years old I'll still get that "itch" just b/c this time in our lives is so special and so fleeting. So, I think baby fever, at least for me, will always be something I feel at various times throughout my life. But it doesn't always mean that in reality we are ready for a new baby or that we really even want another baby. I had baby fever when my older DS was around 5-6 months of age - I'd seen newborns at the pediatricians office and think "Oh, I want another baby!" - but I knew that really I wanted to relive my DS being that tiny - just for a day! Yet, I knew that I *really* didn't want another baby at the time b/c my DS was still a baby and I didn't want to miss out on all of the stages to come.



Poetic.

Absolutely perfectly said! Thanks!

 

thanks everyone you are all so sweet. I guess I put it all out there because when I was asking on here when I had the baby fever nobody really mentioned all the "real" stuff and struggles with more than 2 kids. I got "it is doable" but not the particulars. There are so many things I didn't think about until I was already pregnant again.

I know there are many special families that have 5 or more kids and they love it. I really see these large families now as two solid relationship couples who have a ton of love to give. I do see though that as the family grows beyond two children there is a whole new dynamics that takes place. It is one thing to ask your parents/ babysitter to watch over two, three becomes more work and might be too much for our sometimes older parents to look after for long periods of time.

thanks again for your comments. Please let us know what you end up deciding.....

Heather