Who's twins has an older sibling?

My son will be 3 when the twins arrive, and I'm so worried about him! He is my little buddy, and he currently gets ALL of my attention. I don't know how he's going to react. How am I ever going to give him attention with 2 newborns? Is he going to feel left out his whole life because he's not part of a "set" like the twins? I just feel so guilty for what I'm going to put him through...

 

I'm with you! My son will be turning three right about when the babies arrive.... I've been trying to "prep" him for my decreased attention by hiring a babysitter to play with him a few mornings a week (which has worked out wonderfully for both of us), but yes, I'm still a little nervous about how he will react. But from what I've heard, most older siblings (as young as they are) seem to adapt pretty well to the new situation, as guilty as we may feel.

 

My twins had 3 older siblings! It was a big adjustment in the beginning, and still is in some ways today, but we manage, and it's hard to imagine how life was without them! You all will do fine, and so will your older kids.

 

Hi there. My older DD was only 16 months when my twin girls were born, but I found that when I spoke of the babies being born I tried to focus on the fact that she would be a big sister & all the new things that she/we could do with new people in our family. She never had one moment of jealousy toward her new sisters. I always read books or would play games with her when I was feeding the LOs & made a point of having Mommy & Ella time when the babies slept. If you have parents or in-laws who can take him on short outings from time to time & stress that these are big boy trips, I found my DD was thrilled with that.
She is 5 now & has said a few times something about not being a twin or being special but I always tell her that she is so special because she made me a Mommy & she loves that! I am sure there will be an adjustment period but kids adapt so easily to new situations that before too long you'll forget you were worried about it! Good luck!

 

Aww the mommy guilt! I still remember feeling awful for bringing home 1 baby when Kyra was 2 but like someone else said, have a g'parent or someone special help out. My mom used to come over and take Kyra a few days a week while I had Kailyn, Kailyn didn't know but Kyra did

My girls are older now and kind of understand more that there will be two babies but I still feel awful for them, especially b/c I don't have the energy to do fun things w them right now and probably won't this summer either I like the idea that pp said if your ds is sad about not being a twin, tell him he made you a mommy :wub: I'd also play the "big" brother card and tell him he can do things that the babies and later the younger ones can't! Good Luck and it'll all work out!

 

I also have a daughter, who will be 2.5 when these twins arrive. She too is the center of her dad's and my universe. I have been trying to prep her as best I can, but I guess we will see how it goes when they get here. I do have my mom and my stepmom both helping out right now, by taking her a couple hours a week. They take her somewhere special like swimming, to the park and then eat, etc.... So, it is totally helping already. She gets SOLID time with someone devoted to her only.

 

I'm having the EXACT same feelings...my little guy just turned 3 and the babies will be here any day.... I've been on bedrest the last few weeks so we are already dealing with Mommy not being as fun and involved as she used to be...and it's killing me!!! I have a lot of help, though and they all are helping to give him one-on-one time...it just seems that he only wants me right now... so it's hard...

I am anxious to move on to the next step and try my best to make all my kiddos feel loved and special... right now we are in a holding pattern and I'm ready to move on!!!

 

My daughter is 5 although she is a little older than your son, I am having same concerns. I am with her 24/7, she has my full, undivided attention. I try to teach her about patience. I no longer drop everything when she needs me, I finish what I am doing and then attend to her. Some days she does great, where others its a pure nightmare. I know it will be huge adjustment for all of us. And I know she is concern too, the other day she asked what if I forget about her once the babies come, I keep telling her I love her and will always love her and be with her no matter what happens. Once the babies are born I am planning on having just me and her afternoon or morning once a week, when just me and her do something fun, go to the park, swimming and go to the mall. Hang in there I know it will be ok.

 

My son would be 4yo in 2 months after twins will arrive. and he is a mommies boy.
I'm afraid that he woudl be jelous but so far we trying to prepare him for borther and sister arrival and he is really waiting for them.
will see how it turn out

 

It is always hard to bring a new baby home. We have feelings of guilt and endless worry over how it will be. No matter what, your older children adjust- and my girls adore all of their siblings. Even though our lives have changed drastically since the birth of our twins, we have adapted and the girls all love one another.

Having to share mom and dad winds up being a good trade-off for having brothers and sisters to share life with.

 

I have a son that will be 16-17 months when the twins arrive. He is really independed though, he has been walking since 9 months and he likes to be on the move and doesn't really care to be cuddled unless we are watching Einstein. So, I will be very interested to see how he reacts to the additions. I know that our dog will be in heaven....more kids means more food on the floor! HA! :lol:

 

My DS was 18mths when my twins came along, I felt soooo bad the day I brought them home from the hospital b/c he had to grow up so fast. Now 1yr later he loves his sisters and they light up whenever he is around. He was too little when they were born to know any different which was both good and bad. I still spend alone time with him whenever they are napping and he gets all of his dads attention on the weekends. Your little guy will adjust just fine, make sure you still spend alone time with him whenever you can. Even if you have to get someone to help with your twins I think it is important to have that 1 on 1 time.

 

I have a 4 yr old that I have been especially clinging too recently b/c I am already mourning the loss of all of our time together! I know it is a special thing to have siblings and am happy he will not be an only child. What makes it worse is that I am divorced so I already have to give up a couple of days a week for him to be with his daddy! I am just really determined to make sure I set aside special time for just him once the babies are born.

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ May 29 2009, 03:25 PM) [snapback]1333102[/snapback]
Having to share mom and dad winds up being a good trade-off for having brothers and sisters to share life with.


Well put!! It took some time for my dd to adjust but now she just loves her brothers, especially now that they're getting to an age that they can play more with her.

 

I have a DD who will be turning 2 just before I have the twins. I do worry about how she's going to adjust, but it sounds like the BTDT moms have some good advice (that I am planning on following)! DH and I are just trying our best to prepare her as well as we can.

 

I think it's natural to feel this way whenever you have additional children. I cried my eyes out the day before I had my second daughter because I was so worried about how her life was about to change and I get a little teary these days as well. I know that in a few days life as my girls know it is going to change and all the stuff the we normally do in the summer is going to be difficult.

Some things that I've done to try to make this transition easier - I have a bag filled with stuff for each girl to do that I am going to give them when I go to the hospital, the girls will each get a gift from the boys when they come see them for the first time, I have family members scheduled to do special things with the girls for the next few weeks, I've been stressing that even though I'll be in bed nursing the boys a lot they are always welcome to climb in and snuggle, and I've also been making sure to tell people that when they come see the boys next week that they need to greet my girls first. The babies won't care if they have to wait.

 

My son will be turning 4 a month after our twins are born and our daughter will be turning 2. I am worried how they will adjust since it was hard for my son but now they are getting older they are having more fun playing together. I am trying to get them excited about being mommies little helpers. and I always say OUR babies and not new babies. Plus I am sure we will get in lots of cuddle time when I am nursing or just all of us cuddling in the bed. One thing I am worried about though is that my son always wants me to get up and play with him, he is just go go go ! So hopefully I can divide my time well !

 

I felt guilty after we brought home #2 and #3 and I am sure I will feel a little guilty this time around too. When we brought home #2 my oldest had a hard time with it and he definitely took it out on me. He was pretty mean to me but I understood where it was coming from. It wasn't easy but after a couple of weeks he adjusted. Now they are great friends and playmates. I think all kids react differently to a new sibling (or two).

 

My oldest DD was 5.5 years old when the twins were born. It was an adjustment for her and all of us, going from 1 kid to 3. But she absolutely loves having twin siblings and all her friends think it is so neat, so that is an extra plus too. We just got her really involved and that helped. And we also made sure to take turns taking just her out for some special time. :good:

 

My son will be 3 1/2 when the twins come, and I too have the same reservations as you described. I shared them with my best friend who has only one daughter and will not have any more kids (her husband doesn't want any more) Anyway she said " what does it matter if he feels left out at first, he is going to have two siblings to see him through the rest of his life, what could be better, and it made me really see, that yes there will be growing pains in the beginning but really what a blessing for our little guy.

 

Our babies have 5 older siblings with the youngest being 3 when they were born. They are now, what seems to be, best friends lol She was a little skiddish and clingy at first but they grew on her and she started helping with getting diapers and stuff. Now they chase each other throughout the entire house giggling, play toys with each other and even snuggle during scooby-doo.

 

DD will have just turned 5 when the twins arrive. I have all of the same fears and worries. She's my girl! I've been home with her full time since she was born and really worry about her not getting enough mommy time. She is thrilled about finally having siblings and I think she is going to be a great helper. She has turned two of her baby dolls into twins and has a schedule for them and even told me the schedule to follow when she spent the night at her Aunt's house the other night! I think she may be more prepared than I am! She wants to know every detail of the pregnancy and wants to be there when I have my C/S! (Obviously, that won't happen!!) She even called my mom and asked if she would help her throw me a shower!

She may actually be the one helping me- maybe I shouldn't worry so much!

 

My daughter will be turning 2, two weeks before the twins come. She's pretty independent.... she is content to sit somewhere and play by herself for the most part, but she knows she's our princess. Part of me thinks because she is so independent she may deal with this change better than most, but than I remember the times she gets jealous when I hold other babies and things. It will be interesting to see how she deals with it all. But in the end I think she will love having a brother and sister.

 

My son will have just turned two by the time the twins arrived. I am worried because at the moment he is also the only grandchild in the family (both sides) so he gets undivided attention from everyone in his life. I'm not sure if he understands but I'm already trying to talk to him about the twins and trying to keep him involved in whats going on. Does anyone have any other ideas?

 

I had 2 girls already when my twins were born.My oldest was 5 and the youngest was three.They are having a wonderful time with it.They are such helpers.I honestly don't think I could make it the day without them.I have even taught my oldest DD to make bottles and change diapers.I wouldnt worry.The adjustment is easier than you would think.