Who's older?

My boys will be 8 years old in November and they still don't know who is older! It's great we have avoided the 'I'm older' fights but recently they have been asking this very question. My dad is a psychologist and agrees that they don't need to know now. What they do know is that it doesn't really matter it's only a matter of a few minutes anyways.. Yet the first born will totally take advantage of being the 'big' brother so I'm really scared for him to know! LOL

 

Most twins do know but I have run into some who don't. Twins do riff on A and B but no one really takes it seriously.

I can honestly say that in our relationship that the older/younger fights have never happened. She doesn't play "big sister" and I don't play "baby".

At some point you may want to tell them but if they are happy with not knowing then I don't see any reason to tell.

 

Connor knows he was born first and uses it ALL the time on Maddie..she gives it right back to him though.

C: "Yeah but I'm older than you."
M: "So what, I'm bigger than you. HA!"

I try not to crack up laughing at them because it is an almost daily occurrence. I haven't told her that one day he will be bigger than her.

 

Mine have always known. They never fight about it, but do get a kick out of Marc being the "big brother" when he is 2 inches shorter and 10 lbs. lighter than his "little brother". The only time it has really come into play was when they would play board games where the rules stated that the youngest goes first (and Jon was reading by the time we started playing those games and would read the rules to us).

Are you never going to show them their birth certificates? Mine look at their baby books all the time, and the time is in there. They loved it on their birthday when we sang happy birthday to each one at the minute they were born.

 

My two know that Kira is older and they never fight over who is older or younger. It's just one of those things that's no big deal. Sometimes Kira will say I am older but it's not holding it over Katrinas head, since it's only a min older. For board games Katrina always wants to go first but she never uses I'm the youngest when volunteering to go first.

 

Mine know who is older, they always have. There are no arguments/disagreements/issues. We too try to sing to them at their minute. This year my children got on the school bus with one having already had their birthday and one not. The children told me that night that all the children sang on the bus to the child whose birthday minute was while they were on the way to school. They were soo excited, it was definitely one of their favorite moments of the school year!

 

Mine have never asked just yet. But I came across this question on the Kindergarten registration forms. It asked how many older brothers do they have and how many younger brothers. So the answer was different for each twin. Jesse has an older brother and a younger brother while Jayden has 2 older brothers. Its the first time I ever really thought about it like that. Mine rarely fight about anything so I dont think them knowing will be a real issue, I used to think about NOT telling them .. but if they ask I will.
NOW when strangers ask me .. for some reason it really irks me ! I dont know why though.

 

Mine also have always known, and they've never fought about it. The only time they even discuss it is if somebody asks them who's the older one.

I would think that purposefully keeping it a secret would give that information more perceived importance, like it must be a really big deal who was born first for Mom and Dad not to ever tell us, KWIM?

 

Mine know. They also know that Bianca would have been born first, but the docs cut me open so they took Gaby out first.
There are so many things for siblings to fight about, is this really going to make a difference?

 

This was our thinking as well. Ours were born during the same minute, so it's not evident from their birth certificates.

We didn't talk about it until the kids were about four, just because it never came up and we didn't want to introduce any sort of older/younger dynamic. When they were four or so, they were asked the question a few times within a week and started asking why people were asking that when they were twins and were the same age.

We never used the word "older", though; we used the phrase "born first", and to this day (nearly 12yo) they don't ever refer to it as older/younger.

 

My two know. We hardly talk about it though and for a while when people would ask who the "big" brother is they would answer the question Vince is the the big brother. But, he is technically the bigger brother. He is technically the younger brother.

Honestly the meaning of their names has caused more upset at our house, but that is another story!

THe question on how many older/younger brothers is interesting. I have only had the question of how many siblings and their ages so far. Honestly, I probably would have just crossed out older/younger and written in the childs name and "twin"

I had to laugh just before their birthday. People would ask how old they are and their answer noramally included that they were having a birthday but one would say four and the other would say five and I would get a puzzled look.

Conversations with five year olds can be so much fun.

 

Ugh, wish I could say the same! Mine are just 5 and talk about it alot. . . especially the "older" one, LOL!

 

My situation is weird. The birth certificates list Isabella as being born first....but after many, many viewings of the birth video, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Marissa was born first. They just turned 5 & they don't seem to realize it would matter....maybe because there is not another child in the house to compare their age to.

 

Mine do not know. My DH feels that they were born on the same day (8 minutes apart) so they are the same age and wants it left at that. It really is not a big deal to me if they know or not, but it is to DH. The older twin is over 2 inches taller and 9 pounds heavier, and people always assume he is the older twin, and many think he is a year older.

 

Mine know, but don't really seem to care. They don't fight about it or hold it over the others head, because they know it is only 20 seconds.

 

I do agree that not telling them maybe making it a bigger 'deal' and that's why I was thinking about this. Untill now it didn't matter to them and my dad who is a psychologist doesn't think they should know.. It's funny cause the younger twin is 2 inches taller and 3lbs heavier. Yet the older one is VERY bossy and I know he will bring it up all the time. For their birthday I am thinking about telling them.

 

ours have always known that george was 1st & owen was 5 minutes later because people would often ask us who was born 1st & we would reply that owen was 5 minutes after george. we purposely worded that way so that we were talking about when owen was born vs. that george is older & that is how the boys respond now when asked as well. it used to bother owen, who is very overly sensitive, when they were younger but doesn't any more. to combat that i started mixing up doing things they saw as special in "birth order", "reverse birth order" & "random order" (where me or dh would go 1st). so sometimes it was better to be the 2nd one out. we also told them that the reason george was 1st is because owen was kicking him in the butt to get him out of his space. of course being boys anything involving a butt is hilarious & so they love that & will also tell people who ask that as an answer. for board games we rotate who goes 1st as youngest/oldest because they are the same age- 5 minutes doesn't count as older for us. we also have a singleton that is younger, so i will refer to them as 1, 2, & 3 or A, B, & C which makes owen feel that he is not "last" & will intentionally (ok, sometimes unintentionally) call them all each other's name since they get upset by people saying "which one is which, i can't tell them apart!" when they look nothing alike. they think my "absentmindedness" is hilarious! being a true big brother has helped them both- it makes owen focus on being a role model to someone instead of thinking he wasn't 1st (neither was graham & he's doing just fine!) & it gives george an opportunity to truly be older & not have to think up phony ways to seem older.

their names were a big deal, too, since george is named after his grandfather & owen is "only" named his grandmother's maiden name. the biggest problem we have had is convincing owen that his middle name is not the same as george's since george's is the same as dh's & very similar to graham's (thompson & thomas). he honestly was almost to 1st grade before he knew his middle name. he even at 7 will refer to george & graham as the same middle name when he says their whole name, but will get his own middle name right some times now. george is also 2 1/2 inches & 10 pounds bigger than owen so that has also been somewhat of a source of rivalry.

they will always find something to compete over- that's how brothers are. we just make sure to emphasis the good points of each of them & make a joke out of what we can. silliness & laughter go a long way in our house.

 

My girls have known forever who is older/younger. Neither ever 'takes advantage' of their status, but my younger one enjoys being the baby of the family. She truly is!

They were born one minute apart. Sara 'the baby' is currently 1-1/2 inches taller and two pounds heavier at age 5.

 

My girls have always known 'who came out first' but it's never been an issue. They know Solome came out a minute before Danielle but they consider themselves the same age and so do we. If people ask them who is older Solome will usually say she's older and Danielle replies with, "I'm bigger."

 

Yesterday I got proof that my girls consider themselves the same age, despite the fact they've always know 'who came out first'. A neighbor girl (about 10) asked Gabby when her birthday was, then she asked Bianca, then she said, wait, you have the same birthday? Who is older? And they said "we're the same age, we were born together" no mention about one being older than the other.

 

My twins have always known, probably because of people asking me. Alicia is 16 minutes older than Ashley, but Ashley is taller/heavier than Alicia. My two could care less and honestly I've never thought of keeping it a secret.