Whoa...I feel like a bad mommy!

Colors, numbers, letters?? Whaaa???

Z&M will be 4 at the end of March and I am reading about all these kids who know their letters and number at 2.5!!??!!??

Zayne is waaay further ahead compared to McAuley - and I try not to compare the two, but it is hard since they are the same age, people are more drawn to Zayne than McAuley.

Zayne:
Can count to 10...and attempts higher, but we are not there yet. eleven-teen, 2-teen...lol.
Can sing the alphabet song, but the letters are not all accurate... A, B, C, E, E...M, M, M, O, P...
Recognizes most colors, and identifies them correctly. Corrects her brother on them.
Knows that her name starts with the letter Z and can recognize that letter...and tries to draw it (most times it is backwards)
She is left handed, but sometimes tries to draw with her right hand. I can tell she is more comfortable with her left hand. (My husband and I are both right handed!)
Very articulate - can talk your ear off. Can speak very clearly and often tries to use new words in context.
She is learning to color in the lines, when given color sheets. We get them in nursery at church, and I am always impressed to see that she will color small sections of the picture within the lines.

McAuley:
Can count to 10 - most of the time. Doesn't go higher.
Tries to sing the alphabet song - but sounds like he is saying it in Chinese. LOL. He makes up most of the sounds. And this makes Zayne mad...lol.
Has a hard time articulating the names of colors pretty much 99% of the time. He says everything is green. He does a bit better if prompted to find things of a certain color...
Doesn't know any letters - he does ask me what the letters on the fridge are and what they "say". I go through the letters he pulls off and tell him what sound they make. Zayne does this too.
Does not write any letters or know what letter his name starts with. He does like to pretend to write words.
He is right handed and he pretty much sticks to that hand. He loves to color and draw on his doodle board. He is getting good at drawing people, faces and details. Quite impressive!
Not articulate - most people have no idea what he is saying or are amazed that I understood what he just said! He copies Zayne alot. He is also very very shy...and this surprises people who see him when he is comfortable with people he knows. He has a hard time walking into a room with alot of people in it, or meeting new people. He has a hard time saying hi and looking at people when he talks.
He is very artistic and loves to sing, draw, music, books, movies, and he is also a Mommy's boy...but he is SO active, too...almost too active to the point that he can hurt younger kids, even when he doesn't mean to.
He loves to be read to.

I don't know where to start with McAuley. He has a diffucult time learning under any sort of pressure - real or perceived. He has a very short attention span...except for when it comes to doing something he wants to do! He has a difficult time articulating words and forming sounds together in a word. Often times I wonder if speech therepy would help him - but I don't want to stress him out.

My husband was an only child. I don't know how he developed as a toddler - but I do know that when he was school age, he sorta "shut down" mentally and emotionally and was even placed in a special ed class for a year. But the following year, he jumped a whole grade level or even two! I don't know if it had to do with his parents not knowing and understanding him or knowing how to enourage him - but I think it was pretty rough on him. I would never want to do that to my son... . My husband, today, has 2 degrees in electrical engineering and is 100x's smarter than I am or ever will be. He is 8 years older than me - and even helped me with my highschool math!! LOL!!

The twins can't go into Kindergarten till Sep. 2010. We have thought about pre school - but haven't considered it seriously.

 

I think girls are so different than boys. Last night, at the eye dr, my girls had to recognize shapes, colors, etc. He said the boys are HORRIBLE at it at this age when he sees them. My girls both count to 10, try to do higher. They can recognize letters (maybe 1/3 of the alphabet), can recognize most of the numbers from 1-10 and can sing the alphabet. But, I watch a 2.5 yr old boy who knows WAY more than my girls did at that age. It's really hard to "compare" when kids are just so different. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, but you can always ask your pedi if you are concerned.

 

I agree, it's hard to know when you hear (or in this case, read) about such young kids doing amazing things. Kids are all so totally different, and develop at such different times. And usually (although not always) boys tend to do these things a bit slower than girls.

My 4 yr old ds knows his letters saying them, and can recognize some, but not all of them. He can count pretty high, I think once the 10, 20, 30 etc thing kicks in they can get it. But, my girls at his age were writing not only their own names, but other words as well. They could both tie their shoes at 3, identify numbers and letters, just all in all much farther ahead than my ds. It's hard when you compare kids. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you. So, I agree with pp and say, really, I wouldn't worry too much, but please do address any concerns with your doctor.

 

My ds is much further ahead than dd. I guess mine defy the gender difference. It's hard since my first dd and ds were saying 7 word sentences at 2 y/o and these two and 3 y/o and not even there yet. My kids do a little of the alphabet song and don't know their colors. they always say blue or yellow whenever I ask them what a color is. THey don't know shapes or many of the other things mentioned above.

Personally, I'm not worried about it. So many kids are pushed so young it makes them appear smarter than others. This is why many laces don't do tag programs until 3rd grade or so. THat's when the truely gifted kids become more clear as opposed to those kids who wer just taught more at a younger age. At least this is what my teacher friends tell me.

 

Mine are just a few months over three, so younger than yours. My son has always been more advanced than my daughter. He can count to 12, can sing the alphabet very well with others, not so well on his own yet. He knows almost all his colors and shapes. He talks more and more clearly as well.

My daughter is just beginning to be somewhat clear in her speech, so this may have delayed her. She cannot count to 10 (she forgets 1 and 2, and does 3,4,5 over and over). She makes up her own alphabet, etc.

I'm not too worried about mine yet, but when I compare them to to my older son they are most definitely behind. He could count to 20+ and knew almost all his letters by 3.5. I attribute his differences to being in day care before the twins were born, and getting that start that I can't provide to them.

 

I started with the girls honestly since they were born just constantly singing the ABC song to them, going through numbers (started with 1-3 when they were infants) and basic colors in English and Spanish, etc. We are not a 2 language family. I just took Spanish in high school and wanted to go ahead and give them any advantage I could We also would always sing 1 little, 2 little, 3 little fingers, etc. I also had a TON of flashcards that we would go over with them.

But I think the biggest leap I really saw is when I did enroll them in pre school classes (just 3 mornings a week last year at 2). That's when they really started to just explode with information. THey started to recite the alphabet, count past 10 and recognized all their shapes and colors. The school amazed me. Things I would not have thought about going over with them (I obviously have no teaching background!) This year they are in the 3 program and go 5 mornings a week. THey love it and they are continuing to reenforce what they learned last year, but still play and have fun as a kid. They take 1 letter a week and just practice it and then on Friday they have show and tell with something representing the letter of the week. When the go up in front of the class, they also try (with the teachers help) to write the letter of the week on the etch and sketch.

Just this week, we have started working with them on how to spell their name. Addison has it down pat and Chloe is getting there.

They are very different and Addison is a real pleaser and really tries to show you all that she knows. Chloe could care less if she impresses you and will only do it if SHE wants to. I try not to compare them, but it is hard. Chloe would much rather be silly and is harder to understand on her words, etc.

But I would not stress over it at all - kids learn at different paces.

 

I used to teach Kindergarten and could always tell the difference between kids who had attended preschool and kids who hadn't. Not only could the kids who attended preschool write their names and recognize numbers/letters, they were also more socially adept in the classroom. I'll be sending mine to pre K when they are 4 (a state funded program) and then go back to teaching myself. I don't think they'll need to go to a preschool earlier than that since I'll be teaching them stuff at home. Preschool can be a lot of fun without the pressure of "grades" and maybe they'd like it. I'd say give it a try!

 

Our kids are the same age. Hannah is way further ahead than Ben. BUT, once we started preschool, he started to catch up dramatically. The kids do not attend an academic-centered preschool. They are more focused on the social piece. BUT, singing his ABCs, counting, articulating his thoughts, his patience at attending to a task like coloring...all of that has improved.

 

I wouldn't campare your kids to others. It sounds like they are doing fine. My girls know quite a lot but I am a teacher and I see kids everyday who don't know squat and it has freaked me out so I have really emphasized counting, numbers, letter, etc. because of my own paranoia. I, too, am terrified that my girls will be behind because my son is behind. We had to hold him back last year and he is currently in math and reading intervention classes because he is so far behind. I didn't work with him like I have the girls and feel that he is behind because of me. So, I have been determined not to let it happen to my girls--even though common sense tells me that my son's lack of ability may have nothing to do with how I raised him, but I can't help feeling guilty.

 

They don't seem to be that far behind. BUT a few things you mentioned came across as red flags to me. I would seriously consider preschool. Also, I would go ahead and get McAuley a speech evaluation. Speech therapy at that age is fun--Jonathan LOVED the days he had speech, and doesn't stress him out. Follow your instinct with your concerns--they may turn out to be nothing, but if they do have validity, won't you feel better knowing you did all you could to help them.

Rachel, you did nothing wrong. Your sons problems have nothing to do with what you did or didn't do for him. Learning issues just are, it is your job to get him the most help that you can, and unless you fail to do that, you cannot fail him as a parent.

 

My first was one of those "learn it all really early" kids. My second was NOT interested. I had to insist he learn his colors and shapes at about 2.5-3, because he couldn't pick out shirts without learning colors. However, he learned no letters except his initial, no numbers, no counting, nothing. He wasn't interested and I didn't push it.

Today he is 14 and is 2 years ahead in math and a year ahead in most other classes. He started K right after he turned 5 (summer birthday). He did fine, caught up quickly and easily. I was glad I didn't push him and ruin his enjoyment of learning. When he was young he wanted to build things, and I let him concentrate on that.

One of my daughters was definitely behind the curve on articulation, but I already knew this ran in DH's family, so I didn't worry about it, but I did read up a bit on how to show her how to shape her face to make the sounds. She has everything but her "R" sound now. She will be 6 in December. She was probably still hard for outsiders to understand at 4, but she made big strides between 4 and 5 with just a little help from me.

 

I wouldn't worry---but give a preschool, MDO, community program a try. My girls REALLY took off when they started (2x a week for 2 hours) and their social skills improved signifigantly. My shyer DD did well and is much more confident than she used to be.

I would be concerned at MaCauleys speech---at age three 75+% of speech should be understandable by others. A speech eval is fairly easy and at 3 speech (and other therapy ) is meant to be fun AND purposeful.

I think each child is different-- my girls were both VERY slow for gross motor milestones so instead they sat and looked at books, puzzles, drew, etc and picked up letters/sounds. They both 'just' learned to peddle a trike and neither one likes it much---many kids are doing circles in a trike at 3...

Many kids learn a lot the first few weeks of Kindergarten and quickly pick up letters/sounds/numbers/writing.

I am a huge supporter of early intervention (EI) both because I awas a special ed teacher and a mom with kids that have benefited from it. There are no drawbacks to it at all...no stigma, no labeling for life, from 0-3 does not have to affect 4+ schooling through the school system. LOTS of kids use EI and never have trouble again, others use EI and then have a route into more help through the schools when they hit age 3 and beyond.

 

I have a daughter who will be 4 in February and she can:

count to 15 (tries higher but #s not always in order or skips some)
Identify most colors
Identify most shapes
Sing the whole alphabet song in order, every letter
identify the first letter in her name, siblings names and the children in her preschool class, and some other letters
knows the days of the week
and months of the year in order Verbally

She cannot write letters yet

She speaks well and knows a ton of nursery rhymes and songs taught in her preschool class

This said, she is way behind where my older DS was at her age and they were both in preschool.

I would definitely say you should check into some preschools, at least part time. I think having them in preschool helps tremendously. Its hard as a parent to really know when your child should learn certain things if they arent around other children their age to 'compare' them to, or talk to other parents or teachers of children in their age range.

 

I wouldn't worry. Kids are sooo different as most of the other posts have said already. If I were you, I would start to have a time everyday that you work on these skills or really try and emphasize learning in situations around the house. We have preschool time everyday here because I have a daycare in my home, so my boys are beginning to learn their letters, etc. I have a little girl that will be 3 in Jan. and knows every single letter. It is impressive. I am also a firm believer in formalized preschool when they are older, at least one year. I was a preschool teacher and a first grade teacher before I had my twins and you could always point out the kids that didn;t do formalized preschool.

 

Thanks to those who responded. My sister in law just placed their 2.5 year old daughter in preschool last month, 2 times a week. My husband and I mentioned that it was something we might want to look at, but nothing really more than that. It is a Christian kindergarten. The twins will go into Private Christian school in Sep 2010.
We have a YMCA membership and I know there was a class that I wanted to put the twins in, that offered activities like games, cooking and 1/2 hr swimming lesson. It was full for this session though.
They attend a church nursery class 2 times a week - where they get to develop their social skills and be in a class setting with kids their age and 2-4 teachers. But I do believe that there is a need for more "educational" teaching, which I have a hard time doing with them. McAuley lacks the patience for most teaching and gets very whiny and wimpery when I am try to focus on one point - like a color or a letter.

I might have to start using some of the ideas given - like having a Letter of the Day and Color of the Day and try to include it as much as possible.

They both like to sing, and they know some nursery rhymes and songs they hear at church. For McAuley, he struggles with articulating words and he tends to sorta make up words that sound like the word he is trying to say. He speaks so darn fast that I usually figure out what he is saying by one or two words I pick up. Like when he 1st learned "Twinkle Twinkle" he sang "Twinkle, twinkle, little door...up about the word so high, like a dino in da sky"

Is there a correlation between eye sight and speech? I haven't really questioned the kids eyes...they seem to be able to see things at great distance and small details, but my husband has horrible vision and he, along with his father, wear very thick glasses. My husband doesn't want to be seen in his glasses, so he wears contacts. His glasses are very thick...like pop bottle glasses. We did little tests with the kids, to see if they could see things that Jason wouldn't be able to see without his glasses/contacts on...and the twins could see them and identify them. But we have never had their vision professionally checked.

I am trying to get him to slow down and speak clearly, but this quickly leads to frustration on his part, and he kindda freaks out.
Thank you for the ideas and opinions.

 

I wanted to add to your comment of your kids being 'whiny/impatient' etc with you....mine are tooo!!! BUT for preschool they are totally in tune and interested. Many kids are like that---all the way through High school!!LOL. He may surprise you in preschool. FWIW --my 2 attend a Christian Preschool and I am REALLY happy with it.

On the vision. I would get them checked. My 2 have been checked every year--one has a stigmatism and is far sighted enough that they warned me glasses will be part of the discussion next time we go in (Jan). I have horrible vision and got glases on my 1st screening in K---so I would not be surprised if one or both of my girls get them. It does seem to have genetic tendencies.

 

QUOTE
I am trying to get him to slow down and speak clearly, but this quickly leads to frustration on his part, and he kindda freaks out.
Thank you for the ideas and opinions.


I am in the process of having Jonathan re-evaled for speech, and one of the things she made a point of telling me was NOT to ever ask him to repeat. She says that actually makes the speech problems snowball. I really think you should persue an speech eval. Like KC said, you have nothing to loose, and everything to gain!