who has a nanny

just cuz im curious how many of us are that lucky

 

No. At a certain point a lady from our church came once or twice a week to give a little break. I so looked forward to those times! She was looking for something to volunteer for and we were in the right spot at the right time. No nanny here though.

 

My mom & MIL would come a couple days for the first 6 weeks to help out. After that I was on my own.

I feel like I can handle the days ok now, but it's the nights that are killing me. It would sure be nice to have a "night nanny" once in awhile!

 

I sometimes wish I had help even one day a week. (Even to just go for a walk by myself. Or sit on the toilet without one of the older three coming in! :lol: )

 

Ben just us since the boys were born. My dad comes over 2 nights a week to babysit so we can go to karate class but thats it for our help.

 

Not here.

 

I am a very lucky girl. I have a full-time nanny. The boys have multiple appointments every week (they both have physio twice a week and they also have occupation therapy now) and they both need alot of attention (i.e. we have to do physio with them too). I am trying to work part-time from home but so far haven't managed to do much work. The boys and the house, etc. just keep me too busy.

My DH makes enough money that I don't have to work. My goal is to do enough part-time work to cover the nanny's salary. I will be going away for 2 1/2 weeks in October to work (it will be torture to be away from my boys for that long!). And I also plan to do tax returns in March and April of each year (my dh and I are both accountants).

In the beginning though, I didn't have any help in the daytime but did have doulas that came 5 nights a week. THey came until the boys were about 3 months adjusted. I handled them in the daytime on my own until they were about 6 months adjusted.

 

My mom had come the first few weeks to cover the time Matt would have been here (he was taking a class at night for graduate school) so I could sleep my shift (DH and I were sleeping in shifts the first 6.5 weeks). I've had a mother's helper come a couple of times this summer so I can clean my house. We also have a sitter (either a neighbor or my mom) a couple of times a month for date night.

 

Are you kidding me--who could afford it now days

April

 

No we don't here but, boy do I wish it sometimes when they are little pills..LOL!! :lol:

 

Well I hope no one thinks less of me but I am a sahm and have a full time nanny/housekeeper (10am-6pm)… and in the first 10w also had a night nanny 4 nights a week to help (9pm-6am)… I don’t feel “less of a mom” because of it… I did my singleton alone (he was a very difficult baby) and it was almost the end for dh and I… we worked our a$$ off to get where we are now (as I’m sure most of us have) and lucked out as well… she is more my assistant… my second set of arms… I always have a baby w/ me when I run errands and she has one at home (so I can have one on one time w/ each baby). I usually play w/ the baby’s and she cleans the house… but, I am very involved at my older ds school and I wanted to keep that way after the twins (PA prez is hard w/ twins in tow)… my dh is all for it, as a matter of fact it was his idea… he doesn’t want me spread too thin and/or children getting forgotten just because there is only so much of me/us to go around… but as the babies get older and easier I’m not so sure I will need her full time… but for the last 4 m… she has keeps us happy and healthy… and I am very grateful of my situation and thank the powers that be daily!

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Aug 31 2008, 03:46 PM) [snapback]956215[/snapback]
Well I hope no one thinks less of me but I am a sahm and have a full time nanny/housekeeper (10am-6pm)… and in the first 10w also had a night nanny 4 nights a week to help (9pm-6am)… I don’t feel “less of a mom” because of it… I did my singleton alone (he was a very difficult baby) and it was almost the end for dh and I… we worked our a$$ off to get where we are now (as I’m sure most of us have) and lucked out as well… she is more my assistant… my second set of arms… I always have a baby w/ me when I run errands and she has one at home (so I can have one on one time w/ each baby). I usually play w/ the baby’s and she cleans the house… but, I am very involved at my older ds school and I wanted to keep that way after the twins (PA prez is hard w/ twins in tow)… my dh is all for it, as a matter of fact it was his idea… he doesn’t want me spread too thin and/or children getting forgotten just because there is only so much of me/us to go around… but as the babies get older and easier I’m not so sure I will need her full time… but for the last 4 m… she has keeps us happy and healthy… and I am very grateful of my situation and thank the powers that be daily!


This sounds so much like my arrangement. She is my second set of arms and it just works out so well.

I get what you're saying though...I too worry that other mom's on here will think less of me because of it so don't often mention it.

 

I have a full time nanny but I also work full time. She leaves once I get home. Much easier than trying to get 3 kids ready and out the door to day care.

 

QUOTE(caryanne07 @ Aug 31 2008, 04:18 PM) [snapback]956239[/snapback]
I get what you're saying though...I too worry that other mom's on here will think less of me because of it so don't often mention it.

My DH said it perfect… He said: “I could do my job w/ out my secretary and bring in more money for us… but why? Why can’t we both enjoy our jobs… isn’t that what moneys for?”

Now if our situation changed, we would make due… and the Nanny would be the first to go, but for now it’s how our family run smoothly… and we all go to bed happy (something that didn’t happen the first go round for US).

I have posted before my eternal awe for those ladies doing this on their own :hi: … w/ dh’s away…w/ toddlers… ect… but I’m not gonna give up my nanny to prove I am equally capable mom… I know I can/could… but why? I spend tons of time w/ my children... I spent every Friday alone just older ds and I because of my nanny… I have wonderful smiley moments w/ my baby at Target because it’s just he and I…. AND I am able to help my girlfriend who just had her first baby and is scared to death…. All because of my nanny… I personaly feel like a better person because I have her constant support, and if a couple moms think less of me for it… oh well, I don’t think less of them… and never will

 

you gals with nannys - I say ENJOY IT!!!!

 

Elizabeth, you are too funny! :lol:

I don't think less of you guys, but I don't get how it doesn't feel weird to have someone else around all the time. Do you ever feel like you're stepping on each other's toes? When my dh was in Iraq, my mom came over a lot and I even felt that way with her. For example, one of the kids would want chocolate milk before dinner... I would be ready to say no, but my mom would already be making it.

 

Nope, but I do have an exceptionally helpful mother. She took a month off work when the girls were born and stayed with me 7 days a week. She keeps them for me all the time, including one night each weekend.

She probably does more for me than a nanny ever would!

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ Aug 31 2008, 06:47 PM) [snapback]956344[/snapback]
Elizabeth, you are too funny! :lol:

I don't think less of you guys, but I don't get how it doesn't feel weird to have someone else around all the time. Do you ever feel like you're stepping on each other's toes? When my dh was in Iraq, my mom came over a lot and I even felt that way with her. For example, one of the kids would want chocolate milk before dinner... I would be ready to say no, but my mom would already be making it.

If my mom came over alot you would read about it in the news… :crazy: … I have felt what you talked about… but the match wasn’t right… w/ this nanny, she does what I say and how I say to do it… and to be honest she loves my boys as if her own… when Seth wasn’t eating as much as Nathan and I had not called the Dr… she was worried enough to ask “may I call?”… but not in a nagging "you’re not doing what I think is best", way… in a "I’m really concerned for Seth" way (if that make ANY sense )…. and you should see the way they light up when she shows up (makes my mom jealous)

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Aug 31 2008, 06:50 PM) [snapback]956346[/snapback]
Nope, but I do have an exceptionally helpful mother. She took a month off work when the girls were born and stayed with me 7 days a week. She keeps them for me all the time, including one night each weekend.

She probably does more for me than a nanny ever would!

i wish i had that type of mother for more reasons than just to help... i never really felt connected to my mom... the mom who keeps saying "i did it on my own w/ 3 kids..." but DH says... “yeah but your divorced....” but my mom think we are competition… she has honestly said she doesn’t necessarily want her daughters to be smarter or better off than her… my gosh who wouldn’t want that for any of their children… but that’s another post for another time

 

I don't have a nanny, we cannot afford it, but I would LOVE to have one. No way would I ever think less of a Mom for having one!!! We do get a lot of help, my SIL is over once a week, my parents come once a week and watch them while I go to school, my cousin helps out. We have more of a "it takes a village" situation!

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Aug 31 2008, 08:10 PM) [snapback]956376[/snapback]
i wish i had that type of mother for more reasons than just to help... i never really felt connected to my mom... the mom who keeps saying "i did it on my own w/ 3 kids..." but DH says... “yeah but your divorced....” but my mom think we are competition… she has honestly said she doesn’t necessarily want her daughters to be smarter or better off than her… my gosh who wouldn’t want that for any of their children… but that’s another post for another time



Woah.... that sucks. It sounds like she is resentful of what you have accomplished??? I'm sorry.

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Aug 31 2008, 08:02 PM) [snapback]956359[/snapback]
If my mom came over alot you would read about it in the news… :crazy: … I have felt what you talked about… but the match wasn’t right… w/ this nanny, she does what I say and how I say to do it… and to be honest she loves my boys as if her own… when Seth wasn’t eating as much as Nathan and I had not called the Dr… she was worried enough to ask “may I call?”… but not in a nagging "you’re not doing what I think is best", way… in a "I’m really concerned for Seth" way (if that make ANY sense )…. and you should see the way they light up when she shows up (makes my mom jealous)



I am glad you found that perfect fit for your family. Where does she hang out when not doing anything? Do you have a room just for her?

 

No Nanny here - we can't afford it. But to those that have one, I also say, Enjoy It!! I definitely don't think any less of anyone b/c they have the help of a Nanny.

 

I was fortunate to have help at the beginning. My dh had 8 weeks of paternity leave which he took. During this time we had a night doula come twice a week. I could not wait for her to get to our house, I looked forward to the sleep. When DH went back to work, we had a nanny come every day for four hours a day. She was so great. She helped me with the girls and provided great company. When the girls were 3 months old we were relocated to another part of the country so we had to leave our nanny behind. I missed her so much. I felt comfortable on my own. I don't feel that I need any help now.

 

i was living with my mom for the first 4 weeks the babies were home. didnt accept much help though because i needed to prove to myself i could do it by myself since i knew we were moving away from everyone. i would have had major anxiety if they had helped alot and then we moved. though they did help in other ways, laundry, holding a baby so i could shower, and when we had doc appts i would have been done for without her and my sisters. it was funny the other night right before i posted my meltdown "i hate twins" vent i was sitting on the floor in the living room with 2 crying babies, crying right along with them, and i was thinking in my head, i wonder if i paid for a plane ticket if mom would come down for a week. lol. i wanted MY mommy i doubt i would do well with a nanny...im selfish, even when theyre driving me insane

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ Aug 31 2008, 08:03 PM) [snapback]956439[/snapback]
I am glad you found that perfect fit for your family. Where does she hang out when not doing anything? Do you have a room just for her?

She is also our house keeper… so when I’m playing w/ the boys she cleaning a bathroom or mopping… or organizing a closet… that what she loves to do, organize… so there is always something to do... she rocks and honestly loves what she does...

 

QUOTE(cottoncandysky @ Aug 31 2008, 09:42 PM) [snapback]956508[/snapback]
i was living with my mom for the first 4 weeks the babies were home. didnt accept much help though because i needed to prove to myself i could do it by myself since i knew we were moving away from everyone. i would have had major anxiety if they had helped alot and then we moved. though they did help in other ways, laundry, holding a baby so i could shower, and when we had doc appts i would have been done for without her and my sisters. it was funny the other night right before i posted my meltdown "i hate twins" vent i was sitting on the floor in the living room with 2 crying babies, crying right along with them, and i was thinking in my head, i wonder if i paid for a plane ticket if mom would come down for a week. lol. i wanted MY mommy i doubt i would do well with a nanny...im selfish, even when theyre driving me insane



I can relate to that! Sometimes even when I am sick I want my mom. She drives me crazy, but she takes good care of me whn I need it!

QUOTE(e mauro @ Aug 31 2008, 09:47 PM) [snapback]956516[/snapback]
She is also our house keeper… so when I’m playing w/ the boys she cleaning a bathroom or mopping… or organizing a closet… that what she loves to do, organize… so there is always something to do... she rocks and honestly loves what she does...



She sounds like a dream come true!

 

I did in the beginning, and it was weird for me. I loved having the help, but I didn't want my home to be like a "business" and that is how it felt. I didn't feel like I could just be me. There were days when I just wanted to stay in my PJ's all day long and there were days I wanted to do that and just have a good cry. Sometimes all of us just cried. I felt that was part of the twin experience. Well I do now anyhow. At that time, however, my husband really wanted someone in the house because I had AWFUL postpartum.
Anyhow, I felt I had to be a certain way, a way that didn't allow me to be present to myself and where I was at when someone else was there with us. I couldn't feel the moment and just allow myself to be in it. It is an experience all on its own (being a twin mom) When my help was there I just felt awkward. I don't at all judge anyone for having a nanny, but I just didn't like it. I had so much help from others as well. I felt so blessed. So many people would just show up to help. Often though I just wanted it to be us so I could bond and know my children better. The girl I had is here a lot. My husband and I go out every Saturday and sometimes she comes over so I can get my house really really clean (I'm a neat freak Please know I mean no judgement at all when I say this NONE WHATSOEVER. Its hard and you have to get through it however you can, twins is hard and so if you need someone there to help you through that then by all means do so. For me, I just have had a hard time with motherhood in general. I never thought I would have children at all and here I am with twins. I needed to do this so I could get to place in my life, if that makes any sense at all.
Wow, I am going to digress before I ramble on and on.
So, to you ladies with nannies, I think I have to say hats off to you, because its so incredibly awkward for me and I just want things to be the way I want them to be without someone else to add to an already hectic situation.

 

I'm not lucky. She watches my kids when I am at work. I wish I was there too, that would be great.

 

Elizabeth -
I agree with Lisa (5girlies)... your nanny sounds like a D.R.E.A.M.!!!!
wow! I must admit.. I a tad bit green with envy - LOL

 

I have full-time help and have almost since the babies were born, and I am a SAHM. For the first few months we also had a night-time nanny. I feel really fortunate to be able to have hired that help.
I really like having the second set of hands around to help, and I enjoy being able to run errands with one baby. My nanny does the house cleaning, laundry and even helps with meals. I as well feel guilty sometimes for having so much help, but I feel that it helps to keep me somewhat sane. Sometimes I really feel like less of a mom because I don't do it on my own. I think since the babies were born I have spent less then 12hrs alone with them. I still feel anxious when I am by myself with them.
I have even made my dh promise not to travel for a few months so that I don't have to do the nighttime routine and night feedings by myself.

 

My Mom comes over everyday and helps us. It is wonderful. When we go out places, I always get the questions about twins and how I can possibly be so calm and happy. The questions are annoying at times because I feel I shouldn't have to explain my happiness...hello...look at these beautiful children...but having my Mom really does make all the difference in the world for my family! I am so grateful that she was able to leave her full time job and help us with the kids. I do not think I could have anyone else in our home everyday...I am a total control freak and would not feel comfortable with anyone else. Although we may not agree on everything, she completely respects my decisions and supports us in our routine. I would never have been able to bf my babies this long without her help. I would not have felt as comfortable with anyone else here and she has done so much for our oldest DS to make him feel so important. This means the world because I was very worried about how he would feel. Ok, I know I"m going on and on. I just can't say enough. I still have plenty of days that are tough and we don't always get along perfectly. My mom has arthritis, so I do worry about her doing too much. There are days when I have to remind her that I'm OK on my own ....yes, it's tougher, but I do enjoy it (or I cry some ;-), but that's OK, too). It just means so much to have her so close to my children (we literally moved around the corner from my parents' when we found out we were expecting twins).
We are so blessed to have such a close relationship and to be able to share these precious moments together. Plus, she's saved my sanity - just having another person around to laugh with or vent to makes the day easier. When my first son was born, I felt so detached from society those first few weeks. I did not have that feeling with the twins (maybe because they were my second and third children).
I'm sorry for rambling. Now, I've realized that I really don't know what I would have done w/out my Mom's help over the past 7 months. I need to do something really special to thank her. I know she enjoys being with the boys, but I can be such a pain in the butt, for sure.

Thank you all for writing about your experiences and making me take the time to think about mine!!!

 

I must be one of the luckiest ones out here! After 4 years with 1 and later 3 kids, I finally have a break since arriving in Hong Kong. For $450 a month we have a full time live in helper, 6 days a week, who cooks, cleans, babysits, irons ...

Rents are ridiciously high and schools expensive (basically all international schooling / English speaking is private) but a live in helper finally gives this mommy a break! I know it may sound bad but it's so much easier to enjoy your children if you don't have to stress about so many other things and always have an extra sets of hands. I enjoy taking them to play groups, the pool, etc.

I had about 8 nanny hours in Chicago and a few baby sitting hours for my oldest but that was about it. Back in the Netherlands I was on my own (most of the time) day and night with 3 kids since my husband was already working here. Luckily my parents were a little closer, but still 2 hours away in a different country.

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ Aug 31 2008, 06:47 PM) [snapback]956344[/snapback]
Elizabeth, you are too funny! :lol:

I don't think less of you guys, but I don't get how it doesn't feel weird to have someone else around all the time. Do you ever feel like you're stepping on each other's toes? When my dh was in Iraq, my mom came over a lot and I even felt that way with her. For example, one of the kids would want chocolate milk before dinner... I would be ready to say no, but my mom would already be making it.


It doesn't feel weird at all at my house. Shauna is just like part of the family. I guess I would describe it as "does it feel weird to have your dh around?". She's really that much a part of our family now. In the beginning, it was maybe a bit strange. But she is such a naturally-gifted baby person, that it didn't take long to feel really comfortable with her here.

I would also say that my nanny is probably "more concientious than I am". I remember once when the boys had shots. Daniel's leg swelled up quite a bit. While I was thinking to myself "I'll make sure to check that overnight and in the morning to make sure it's not any worse", she was on the phone to her sister who's a nurse. It made me feel so great! Also, she's probably as or more strict than me. I guess we have similar "parenting" styles so it works. She doesn't spoil them but they LOVE her!

As for "when she's not doing anything" - that rarely happens. She's here from 10:30 til 5:30 each day. The boys have one nap in that time. That's her break. She gets her lunch and checks her email,etc. Then she preps everything for their dinner and even preps the bottles for overnight and the next morning. She'll also tidy the boys stuff, do their laundry, etc. Some days she doesn't really even get a break depending on how the day goes, so I don't care if she gets a 2 hour break on the odd day. She deserves it! As for where does she hang out...just here in my kitchen / family room. We do have a spare room and I've offered that she can take a nap there if she ever needs to, but I think she's only done that once when she had a headache.

I love having her around so much (I'd like to think we've become really good friends) that I dread the day when the boys are all grown up and we don't need her.

Actually...while she's working for us, she's going to work on becoming a doula. Cool eh?

God...I really am lucky...

 

QUOTE(Sarah© @ Aug 31 2008, 10:31 PM) [snapback]956598[/snapback]
I'm not lucky. She watches my kids when I am at work. I wish I was there too, that would be great.


This is how I feel most days too. We have a sitter who watches the girls 3 afternoons a week and they always have so much fun.