Who else was totally "thrown off" by twins?

BEFORE I begin I want to say....we are totally thrilled to be having our twin girls. I feel so blessed that God chose us to go through such an amazing journey!

I just wondered if anyone else was totally thrown off by twins. What I mean by this is....we have three children and started looking at things and said, "yes, we would like one more and we can manage one more. Let's give our DS a sibling close to his age to make a bond with like our older children have."

Then we find out it is twins. :blink:

Now we are trying to wrap our minds around how we will make it.
1-There is no point in me continuing at my current job, after cost of daycare for THREE I would pretty much bring home NOTHING.
2-There aren't jobs in Michigan to just jump right back into something second or third shift after the babies are here for a bit.
3-Diapers and wipes for THREE
4-Paying bills with DH's income alone

Did this happen to anyone else?
I thank God everyday that we are blessed with such great family members. My sister and SIL both had babies right around the same time our DS was born so they have been handing stuff down to us left and right. (PNP, bouncer seats, girl clothes, etc.) My parents are grandkid shop-aholics and have purchased quite a few packages of diapers, on top of the cute little clothes they cannot resist. And we have many things from DS as well. If not for that, we would REALLY be hurting already.

There are times when I think to myself...."how long are we going to survive once the babies arrive?"

O.K. I think my pregnancy paranoia has hit a new high today!!! :rofl:

 

Yes, yes and...yes!

We sat in the doctor's office with our then six month old, completely stunned and shocked at the prospect of two. The pregnancy alone was enough of a shock for us, after trying for five years to have our second son. I have been lucky enough to stay at home with our boys since our oldest was born, but it's still really hard to wrap your mind around everything that comes with twins.

Now that we're on the other side of things, I can tell you that it's not as scary as you think. That's not to say that it isn't hard, because it can be. But, you'll find that you are capable of more than you ever thought you would be. You'll figure out ways to cut costs and be frugal (coupons, sales and store brands have become the norm for us!), and you'll also find all kinds of ways to just make your life easier in general.

You can definitely do this! It sounds like you've got a great family and support network where you are, and you'll always be able to find help and support here on TS. Not only from those who are going through the same thing, but from those of us who have been there, done that! Good luck!

 

:wavey: I think it was right around that point in my pregnancy that I realized 'OMG! How am I going to take care of TWO babies and still make the rest of the household function!?'

But, just like everything else, I adapted, and somehow managed to make it through the first 3 months wacko: it's a total blur now), and then things got a little easier, little bits at a time. Now, at almost 3, they are SO fun and I wonder where my babies went!

I had gotten rid of everything after Josh, because we didn't expect to have anymore. I took every hand-me-down, and consignment shop bargain I could find!

For the first time, I bought generic formula and diapers and now I could kick myself for paying for the name brands for the other 3! What a huge savings!

You are a mommy pro already, you will do great! :hug:

 

Yes!!!

Granted, the twins won't make #4 and 5 for us, but we were SHOCKED. Absolutely, certifiably shocked.

DS will be two within probably a week or so of the girls being born. So, yes, three in diapers, wipes and daycare. We also have NO IDEA what we are going to do about my working. We can't afford the cost of daycare and still have enough money left to make the mortgage, but we also can't afford the mortgage without my income! Yikes! I worried a lot in the beginning, but honestly, I'm not worried anymore. It always works itself out. Somehow, someway. I don't know how, but it will. It has to, you know? It is what it is and we will get a handle on it at some point.

Hang in there, and know you aren't alone. I always say that twins don't double things...it's exponential!!!

 

You're not alone! We have no history of twins, it never ever crossed our minds! If they wait til full term to arrive our youngest will be 15 months....yeah it's scary sometimes thinking of having 3 that close together. :wacko: I knew I could handle 2 and I am sure I will handle 3 now heehee I will just have to do it the best I can. Thankfully our other dd is almost 11 so she can help a bit (although she still needs to be able to be a kid).

We will be exactly in the same boat with every single thing you said, daycare, diapers, job etc. and I am scared too but like you said also feel incredibly blessed! This is a special thing that not every parent gets to experience (multiples) so we try to focus on that. We are also finally getting a boy this time so that is extra exciting (not like we aren't excited for the girls but to finally get our boy is a blessing too)! I just wish we had family members who would help and that those who would lived close to us but hey, we can do it, we will do it!

One of my biggest concerns is that my youngest now doesn't get pushed to the side as she will still be so young I really do grieve in a way for the time I won't be able to spend just nurturing her now that there will be 2 babies instead of one, ya know what I mean? (I hope that doesn't sound bad, just a momma worrying that her little one won't get what she needs at such a young age.) Oh and now I'm crying..at work on top of all of this :rotflmbo:. Preggo hormones ugh!

So I hear ya! Know that you're not alone but hey we can do this! (Geez I will have to read this post to myself when I have my bad days since I am spouting off unusually positive things today LOL!)

 

Oh my gosh... I hear you sister! Granted, these babies will make number 2 and 3, as I have a two year old at home already..... but we were planning on one. All our conversations revolved around how "yes, we can handle two kids".... and then all of the sudden I am having twins!!! We are barely making it money wise as it is! But as many of the other PP's have said, there are always ways to work it out. We are working on cutting our expenditures even further and who needs new clothes?? LOL.

 

So much for the "just one more" theory we had in mind. These two will be joining DS who just turned three (and just got pottytrained!!!). Besides the daycare, diapers, formula costs, the new car we bought in October will not be big enough for the three carseats. Sad to think about taking a loss to sell it and get a mini-van... even more blah is thinking about getting out there to look for a mini-van!

I just keep thinking by this time next year it will all be worked out.

 

Our twin pregnancy was an unplanned pregnancy. My husband and I had recently decided that our family was complete with the 3 we already have...... So yes. We were totally thrown off especially after finding out we were having two! I still have days where I feel a little shocked!

 

Oh yay, I can relate.

We were trying for just one more. 2 was the perfect number for us (We have an almost 2 year old). I was going to get my tubes tied when I had my c-section. We went in for our 19 week appointment to find out the sex of the baby... and bam! There's TWO in there! Last thing in the world we ever expected! Especially since our last sono at 6 weeks only showed ONE heartbeat.

Anyway, I had this perfect picture of what I wanted our family to be. I forgot that God might have other plans for us! I think he looked at us and said, "Oh, you are getting your tubes tied? Well I want you to have 3 kids...so I'm going to throw in another ..I'll just have to throw it in now" Lol. Who knows?

I feel blessed, I really do, and have had some time to adjust now. I keep feeling like maybe this is God restoring me after my miscarriage I had before this pregnancy. I know that if I hadn't miscarried that child that these two precious little ones would not be on their way. I feel like maybe it wasn't in vain afterall.. you know? (Not that I won't miss the one I lost.. but look what I'm gaining!)

 

Yes, I had it good! My oldest is almost 17 and here I go again with another family. :rotflmbo: It really does feel like a whole other family, there's my only son then my 3 daughters (the twins and my 4 year old)

 

[/quote]
Anyway, I had this perfect picture of what I wanted our family to be. I forgot that God might have other plans for us! I think he looked at us and said, "Oh, you are getting your tubes tied? Well I want you to have 3 kids...so I'm going to throw in another ..I'll just have to throw it in now" Lol. Who knows?

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That's kinda how I feel. My husband was/is going to get "snipped" after this baby and it was like God saying "well, if that is what you are going to do I better get you the number [SIZE=14pt]I[/SIZE] had planned taken care of in this pregnancy!"


I am glad to find out I am not alone in feeling this way. I know everything works out according to HIS plan but it doesn't mean I won't fret a little.... I can't wait to hold these precious princesses and give them the one thing that matters most and doesn't cost a dime.....LOVE!

 

Yes, it was a big surprise. We also thought we wanted just one more...
But as time goes on I am getting more and more excited and less worried about how things will work
Because we had two losses between my last living baby and this pregnancy, my youngest is almost five. I think it will be awesome that these boys will have each other, KWIM? My two girls are super close and my three oldest (all boys) are as well. I like that there won't be just one little one.

The beginning of the pregnancy was SO HARD. Not so much physically- though I was the sickest I've ever been- but emotionally. I questioned my body's ability to carry two since I have had so much trouble carrying one. So far so good, and I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow! I was not expecting to even get this far. Making it to the third trimester has made it real for me- there's a good chance we'll get to keep these babies. It's like we got the grand prize for trying one more time for a last living child

 

It's so nice to hear from other people in the same boat - not that I'm glad we're all in that boat! but you know what I mean. When I read some of the posts about buying new houses and new cars and all the rest my heart sinks.
This was a very unplanned pregnancy for us - the babies being due on our wedding day - DH-to-be has just gone back to study for 3 years, I have just started full time work after 8 years study (and all the debts that go with that), we are still renting and drive a tiny little ancient honda that barely has room for one car seat let alone two and a stroller. To top it all off at the start of the year we moved states so we're 2000km away from all our family and friends. We have been together a long time and have talked about having kids since the very beginning so we are over the moon about our two little sprouts but we are also up at night wondering - will I be able to go back to work straight away? what if I can't get child care? will I still have a job if I need to take extra time off? (my profession is practically medieval in its thinking about maternity leave) what if I need to go on bed rest? what are we going to do for transport? ...

 

QUOTE(*Lisa* @ May 22 2009, 02:55 PM) [snapback]1324727[/snapback]
Our twin pregnancy was an unplanned pregnancy. My husband and I had recently decided that our family was complete with the 3 we already have...... So yes. We were totally thrown off especially after finding out we were having two! I still have days where I feel a little shocked!



Word for word, that quote says it for us! LOL We had three (and our 3rd was actually a surprise as I was trying to figure out how to convince DH to have 'just one more' when I got pg on the BCP). Now, almost 4yrs later, we have our last surprise and SURPRISE! its twins! I had to figure out how to tell the man who only ever wanted 2 kids that we're going to have FIVE.

I'm 23.5wks now and totally totally shocked still. We are NOT in a good place to be having babies (our house is not built and we're renting til the end of June then living with my parents til the house is done). Money wise we moved here to MB taking a MAJOR paycut in order to be closer to family - and now all of a sudden we have two mouths to feed when we figured we'd have to button down the hatches just to feed the 3 kids we already had....yep. We're going to struggle.

 

Oh, I could have written your post!

I thought it would be a great idea to have a second baby so close in age to DD (she turned 2 a month ago). We got the shock of our lives when the u/s tech told us that we were having twins at 19 weeks. It is definitely overwhelming to think about the shift in dynamics!

I also feel truly blessed and it is very exciting that the babies will be here soon. My friend and neighbor had her baby on Tuesday, and I went to visit her at home yesterday. Holding the baby definitely got me back into newborn mode.

I think we'll have a couple of hectic years, but I also think that all three girls will be besties. Rebecca is just so friendly and nice.

Just so long as these new girls are good sleepers like their big sister was as a baby, everything should be fine!

 

Add me to the list. I know that it sounds stupid to be shocked when these boys were conceived through IVF, but my RE convinced us to switch from IUIs to IVF this time so that we wouldn't have multiples. At my first ultrasound there was only one sac, but then a week later there were two tiny heartbeats. I did not handle it well. I developed pregnancy induced hypertension at 14 weeks with my first pregnancy and was advised that I needed to avoid a multiple pregnancy because the risk of early pre-eclampsia was just too great. I completely broke down sobbing because at that point I was terrified that I would not be able to get these babies far enough along to survive. I was also panicked at the idea of spending months on bedrest with two other children to care for. My RE actually appologized to me.

It took a few days for me to get over the shock and I've definitely spent a large part of this pregnancy worried, but in the end it all turned out fine. I'm 36+ weeks and there are no signs of pre-eclampsia. Except for a few days of modified activity because of a subchiorionic hemotoma, I avoided bed rest and I've pretty much been able to take care of my girls. I am worried about the next few months, but I figure that we'll somehow get by.

 

We found out on April fools of all days, sometimes I still don't think the shock has set in! ^_^ :wub:

 

We had infertility issues, so I knew it was a chance we were going to take with IUI. I was actually hoping for twins. When we went in for our 1st u/s at 4 wks the dr told us that there were 2 babies. I thought I would be so excited, but I was more worried than excited. I guess God knew I would be. At 6 wks I woke up in the middle of the night and was covered in blood. I was terrified, we had been trying for about 5 yrs to have kids, and I just knew that after all that to get preg. I had lost them. That was on a Sat. night, the dr told me that if my body had rejected them there was nothing he could do, so I needed to stay on bed rest until Mon morning and come in to see what was going on. When we went in he told us that we had lost just one, but there was still one there. I was sad, but we went on with our lives. We even flew to Alabama for Thanksgiving @ 17 wks. When we got home we had an u/s to find out the sex of the baby and we told the tech what had happened. She started the u/s and said that there was still 2. I was so shocked I almost fell of the table. When we went back and looked at the first u/s it is now clear that there were 3 to begin with!

 

Hi, I don't know if my post is much help..but I can relate to the shock. My husband and I am both 37 yrs. of age and this is both of our 1st pregnancy. We did plan this pregnancy and I felt like my clock was ticking and his family was looking and waiting like "what's up""when are yall gonna bring on the kids". But when the Dr. said "so you know you are having twins"...he said it so non-chalant that I thought that he was kidding or that was his personality because that was my 1st time meeting him. I was like stop playing with me...and then he turned the screen so that I could see and he said "no-you're having twins" and I saw baby B just a jumping as if he was so excited and saying hi to me and A was just sleep in his sac. I immediately just went into shock and began to cry but tears of joy..I knew that this was amiracle because my husband and I was having some problems in our marriage and we were about to separate and even was considering divorce. Since this pregnancy our marriage took a 360 turn. I truly mean a 360.We have never been so close and happy! I was in school for nursing and I was also pursuing a certification in Medical Billing and Coding which I will be receiving in a wk. & a half. I can do the MB&C remote (from home) and although I will take off school for Nursing this summer...I have registered for online classes this fall. My point is "if there's a will...there's a way!" I think you said it best...things have a way of working itself out.God Bless.

 

Um, yeah.

Twins so do not run in my family so for me, the one who *never* wanted children to begin with, getting pregnant, with two nonetheless, was a major shock. But you know what, believe me, it does all fall into place.

side note: Hi to my little sisters!!

 

My husband and I were shocked as well. We had been married for 7 years and weren't trying to have anymore children. I had a son from a previous relationship and although we had thought about having another child in the future, we hadn't plan on anymore children at the particular time I found out I was pregnant. As a matter of fact, I was on BC, so we were just surprised that I was even pregnant in the first place. Twins are so far back in my history I shouldn't have even had them. He has them all over his tree, but that shouldn't affect me; so when we found out we had twins, needless to say it took us almost the whole pregnancy to recover

But, yes, God definitely knows what he is doing because it has been the best thing to EVER happen to us!!

 

Well, I had no intentions of having a family anymore after 10yrs of trying and 15yrs of marriage. I'm 32 and hubby is 34.
Having said that. If this works out I'm getting my tubes tied! I hadn't used birth control or fertility stuff in 7yrs.

I went from thinking I had cancer, to thinking it's another blighted ovum, to bawling for 20-30min in the ultrasound room.
Mom took me and was planning I'd have at least a DandC. She actually handled it better than I did!
It took till they were kicking till it's set in.

Hubby looked at me like I was an alien for about 3 days after I told him.
"Well honey, the doctor said everything was going to be fine. I'll need to make many, many trips to the hospital though."
Him-"Ok so it's treatable right? Is it cancer or a cyst or what? They didn't keep you obviously"
"Well...They said that I was fine, but we'll have to watch the babys close."
Silence for about a minute
Him-"Babies? As in you are pregnant for real? Two????"
"Uh, yeah. I guess all it took was an extended layoff, giving up, and figuring God had other plans. Figures he'd be onery and wait till we'd resign ourselves to no kids. Time to make up for lost time!"

We both had full time jobs with loads of overtime and stress, new truck payment, unfinished addition to our house, a little bitty car, and plenty of bills. He was promoted to Sargent, and I was gunning for a supervisor spot I'd passed up a while back. We had just planned on just us and our longterm plans were gettting laid out.

I had to quit my job before I even came back from layoff, hubbys job just cut overtime, he's also changing the addition for baby's not a hottub, my little car is getting upgraded, and lots of other changes. We have the time, just not the money right now!
I worry sometimes our little boat is just barely above the water line. We just pray for no big storms, waves, or leaks!

 

We did IVF after TTC for 4+ years so we knew twins were possible. But it still stunned us when we actually were pg with two!

What you are feeling is totally normal! The money worries were huge for me. How in the world were we going to support DH's three kids from his first marriage and now twins on top of that?! And daycare? Ha! $1,400/month? Geesh. But we were going to be barely keep our heads above water, but it was going to be okay.

That is until DH was unexpectedly laid off from his job 3+ months ago. :mellow: Now I'm not so sure how things are going to go. And I was worried before when we had two incomes! But we're taking one day at a time.

It's amazing how things can work out.

 

Oh yeah, to say I was shocked and scared was an understatement. My husband and I already had a two-year-old and really wanted one more. We took a good look at our finances and made some adjustments so we could afford and try for ONE more baby. Surprise! I vividly remember saying to my OB, "OMG, are you serious? Are you kidding me?" over and over. At one point I was crying and laughing at the same time! I felt VERY blessed but my mind also immediately began thinking how in the world are we going to do this(financially)? My biggest concern was daycare which will cost $1,500 a month for three kids (and that is cheap for our area!).

People told us that God never gives you more than you can handle and it always works out somehow. They were totally right! Somehow, you just make it work and you find a way. Someone else said it worked out little by little and that's how it has been for us too. We buy generic formula and diapers, we've refinanced our home so we can wrap in student loans and credit card bills, changed tax witholdings from our paychecks, etc.

I can relate to how you are all feeling. Trust me, the shock will wear off, and you WILL find a way to make it work! Hang in there everyone!

 

Yes, it really threw me. I think between my years of infertility treatment and miscarriage, my current living situation, lack of a partner, having to let go of the dream of also adopting from foster care (because two is plenty), and issues with my mother, I am having a really hard time putting my arms around having twins. Now that I know genders (boy and girl), I am hoping to start warming up to the idea.