Who could handle it?

I've had a few family members ask to babysit. I was very over protective with DD#1 and she didn't have her 1st sitter until well over 18 months old. However with 3 under 3 I really could use a break. Even a 1.5hr dinner ALONE with Dh would be great! The problem is I can barely handle all of the kids. So how can I trust someone else to do it?

Even if it was just the twins I don't think anyone could handle both my girls. I'd hate to ask two people to come over just for a few hours. So my questions are how do you know if someone can handle it? Who do you trust with 2 infants? Am I just stressing for no reason? I totally trust the person but I just think it's overwhelming with twins. So what do you do for nights out?

 

If I only had one person who could come, I used to wait until I put them to bed for the night, then my husband & I went out for a late dinner. We usually just went somewhere relatively close so that if there was a problem we could go home & rescue the sitter. Even if it was just for a couple of hours, it was really nice to sit down for a quiet dinner!

 

I agree we went after they went to bed if there was only 1 person to watch them. We have lots of family around so usually both Moms could come watch or my sister would come help my mom or MIL.

 

Hi - it's great that you are trying to get a night out!! It's very healthy for you and hubby. We had our first date night when the girls were 2 weeks old. We invited a family member and friend over and they enjoyed the babies as well as socializing with one another. Now the girls are 14 weeks and we either double up our friends or use a family member or friend who has spent a lot of time with us and can handle them on their own.Honestly, I thought I was going to have to cancel our last date night bc the girls were being total growly bears, but I was so over it and ready to get out of the house that I warned my friends and we went anyway. Turns out the girls were great for our friends. !!!

 

I dont have any family nearby and I dont do teenage babysitters. We finally hired a nanny service just this past year so that I could get a break. But if you have family, I would do what Tina suggested and get them to bed and then go out.

 

Yep, I think the babies are often as glad as the moms to get a change of faces & scenery!

 

SO true!!!

 

My nieces have always been our babysitters. They never had a problem handling the kids as infants (sometimes it would be one of them, sometimes 2 or 3) and then when Liam came along they were old pros.

 

Like you, I did not use a "real" babysitter until my first child was nearly a year old - we lived near my parents and they could always sit for us. We no longer live near my family and when the twins were born, had four children ages four and under. I, too, didn't think anyone else could do it - and was almost embarrassed to ask. Our main babysitter these days is a girl who is the childcare (nursery) coordinator at our church - she's a recent college graduate taking graduate courses while trying to find herself - my kids love her and she does a great job - and can totally handle all four and put them all to bed. We pay her big bucks so she will love us forever. So maybe try a/your church?

 

oh i feel ya, we have 3 under 2 and haven't been able to find anyone really to do it. i have friends offer but they need to bring their almost 2 year olds too so it would be like having 2 sets of twins under 2 OMG i wouldn't wish that on anyone hahaha! I say try 2 sitters or go out later, it sucks but until you feel more comfortable it might be an ok solution. good luck!!

 

My in-laws watch all three of my kids together. I'm sure it is hard for them. Frankly, it's hard for DH and I! I also had my son's preschool teacher do it once, but I had her put a movie on for ODS, and then she put the twins to bed shortly after she got there, so it wasn't too hard (I think!).

 

My mom is awesome with all three babies on her own. However, whenever she comes to visit and we have date night, we wait until the big babies go to bed at 7 and then let her put our 4 month old down for the night after we leave. It really helps us relax knowing that we did the twins bedtime routine and for whatever reason, they're less likely to wake up in the middle of the night if we're the ones who put them down. Plus, she can give all of her attention to Sullivan and even though she can handle it, it's easier on her just having to take care of one baby.

 

I think sometimes we forget that our homes are usually babyproof and I don't know about you, but I'm not expecting someone to clean my house, do my laundry, run to the grocery store, or pay my bills online. I'm only expecting them to *maybe* feed the babies a meal, change diapers and play. I would think a teenager with a big family or someone with some experience in child care or a nursery could handle it pretty well. We've had my friends' 15 year old come over after they are in bed with strict instructions to leave them alone unless there is a fire and it's been great. I haven't dared to have her come over in the daytime yet as she doesn't live close by- but I'm getting there! :ibiggrin:

 

I went with two people but I had enough family to do that. If you can swing it thats what I would do and that way you wont worry about babies waking up etc. With two people they should be able to handle it.

 

I totally feel ya! My twins and youngest are 13 months apart and having 3 that close together I was not going to leave them with just anyone. I love my family but they were a lot of work and I felt bad asking them all the time. Plus we always felt kind of rushed because we weren't "paying" them. So I made a point to find a sitter. I went through my Mothers of Multiples group and found a full-time nanny. She was a nanny during the day for a family with twins but had been a nanny for many sets of twins and also triplets in her years of experience. She had awesome refrences and was cpr/background checked and most of all was wonderful. Yes she does cost a little extra but is totally worth it. She's been watching mine since my youngest was 2 months and the twins were 15 months. She does the hard part of feeding them dinner and putting them to bed. We go out at least once a month if not more for "date night" and it's soooo nice!
Good luck in your search!

 

I have DS#1 who just turned 3, and then we have the twins who are just now 6 weeks. DH and I are going on a date tonight and we have our regular babysitter over to watch DS#1 and then will drop the twins off at MIL's house. Sucks to have to find two separate baby sitters but I know that I can barely handle all three kids during the day myself, so I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. It's easy as cake when they are all asleep (and I can stalk Twinstuff!!!) but when both twins want to eat at the same time (which usually happens) and DS#1 is terrorizing the house... well it's stressful.

 

Well, I have 4 kids ages 3 and under and I am very picky about who I allow to babysit. They have to be someone that I trust and know will enjoy my kids while they have them. I wanted to say, though, that typically, babysitters are not sleep deprived, they haven't been with the same children for days, weeks, years, they are not expected to clean or discipline etc. The stress and anxiety and difficulty we face as mothers that is draining is not going to happen to a babysitter in two hours time. In fact, they may truly enjoy the time spent with your babies. I know that when I only had the 3 under 2 years, I used a 13 year old to babysit on occasion. The kids LOVED it! She actually played with them and was attentive. She definitely earned her money but she wasn't overwhelmed.

 

I agree with cheezewhiz...if it is someone who has experience with kids they can probably handle the bare minimum of keeping kids safe and happy. I started babysitting when I was 12 or 13 and by high school I was taking care of 3-4 kids at a time. When I was 18 I had a family I watched who had 2 1/2 year old triplets. If you look at church, local colleges, local girl scout troops, etc you can often find teens with lots of child care experience. If you are using a friend who you really don't think can handle it, maybe you can send the older one to one friend's house and have the babies watched by someone else? We try to get out without the kids about once a month and I think the time alone, even if only for dinner, goes a long way to keeping our relationship strong and making us better parents!

 

My dad is oddly the only one that can take care of all three of my kids at one time and I have three kids under the age of 2! He is super papa that is for sure and he watches the kids at least 2 times a week! If I have others watching the kids all at once, I make sure that at least the twins are in bed and then Grifyn can be put down by anyone. Its hard though eh!?

 

Thank you all sooooo much. I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one stressed about who can handle it.

The late night dinner idea would be great but we are a late bedtime family since Dh works until 7pm most nights. So for him to spend time with the kids they dont go down until 10pm (yes I know that is late for some but it works for us). That would mean us not going out for dinner until after 10pm which would be very late. They are very use to bedtime now so changing the time would not work. Though this was a great idea! Thanks so much for those who suggested it.


I'd love to double up on family members but I'm not sure if that would work for us. MIL's dont get along at all and I cant stand my mothers husband. So that leaves either my mom alone or Dh's mom alone. I do have a 16 year old sister that could stay with my mom and help...humm that may actually work! :laughing: If she doesn't spend the whole night on my computer instead of helping lol.

Thank you all for the help. I never had this issue with my first. We hand tons of babysitters but I feel so guilty leaving ONE person with 3 small kids. Your comments make me feel that maybe it's not as tough for others as I thought it would be. Thank you again so much!

 

It's certainly not easy to do, and I really hate to ask MIL to do it-but she certainly enjoys it! I tend to not want to ask my mother, as she has a harder time(health-wise) taking care of the three of them. She CAN do it, I just prefer she doesn't. But she's watching all three when we go to a wedding in July. We'll take them to the ceremony, come home and put them down for a nap, and then leave. She'll have them for bedtime, and hopefully have my dad here to watch the baby. But for longer periods of time, I wouldn't have her do it alone.

My mother in law can do it on her own, no problem. But we still try to make it easier on her whatever way we can. Sometimes we don't go out until after bedtime, or we come home before bedtime. What if you did something like that? Feed them all dinner, get them ready for bed, then go out and have dinner on your own? Then come home and put them to bed?

I've only ever had family watch the kids. I've never left my sister or dh's sister with all three-unless someone was sleeping. I would probably have two babysitters-at least the first go around-if I were to hire a babysitter to watch them.

 

I just wanted to point out that although we ALL say we can BARELY handle 3 under 3 the fact of the matter is I think we are ALL doing a terrific job
3 kids, 3 and under are A LOT of work but you dont have the same expectations for the sitter as you do yourself. As someone else stated they have no other jobs (dishes, laundry etc) to do. I love it when DH and I come home and there are toys galore strewn about and lunch is still sitting on the table because I know my sitter was playing wiht my kiddos
I have an 18 year old babysitter with my 3 a few times a month so we can run errands/ go out to dinner. She does great. She knows to call me if there is a problem but also does different activities with them than I do so its a nice change of pace.
Find someone who is flexible, relaxed, go with the flow and you know will call you if they have a simple question.
Best of luck, you deserve time alone!!!

 

When my mom watches my three she sometimes invites a friend to come over and see the babies. None of her friends have had grandkids yet so they enjoy getting a baby fix.

 

I totally forgot to mention, but MIL does the same thing. She invites a friend over and thus has an extra hand if needed, and that friend gets a baby fix.

The other thing I was going to mention is that we have a few friends who don't have kids yet and when they babysit they either double up or bring their husband so they have an extra hand. Also, one friend has brought her 7 year old who is old enough to fetch diapers, bottles etc and thus make the job easier. Our closest family is an hour away, so we have learned to use friends, coworkers, etc.

 

It is so hard to get out isnt' it ?!!! Thanks for starting this thread because it has given me some ideas on how I can get out of the house too. It is so important to have some adult time with your dh. Something I think we have been lacking lately....

Heather