WHINING!

OMG. I am tearing my hair out. I really shouldn't complain, because on the whole my kids are just so darn good, and don't give me a tenth of the trouble that I hear about from other moms. But DS is just getting whinier and whinier and whinier. And he is also the king of repetition. If he wants to play with the scissors, he will just repeat, "Scissors! Scissors! Scissors!" over...and over...and over, getting whinier each time. You can't talk through it, you can't distract him. (Very unlike his sister.) I ignore it, but man oh man does it get on my nerves.

I know he's having a rough time right now - cutting at least 4 new teeth - but this is driving me crazy. Any magic bullets for whining? What I'm trying now is modeling better behavior (repeating the phrase back to him in a normal voice) and insisting on "please" (if he's asking for something ok, he doesn't get it until he says please). I think he's not quite ready to understand the whole "I can't understand whining, where's your normal voice?" thing yet. Anything else I can do, other than be consistent and wait?

Oh, and DD picks up on everything. During a big whining standoff this evening (in which I proved that I CAN indeed be more stubborn than a toddler), she asked, "Where Andrew's manners go?" :lol:

 

:hug: Holly!! Whining is the worst! I hope they get over it soon!

 

:hug: I hope he stops the whining soon! LOL about the manners, cute.

 

I feel your pain. I can't stand whining. I will often say, "I can't hear you when you're whining. I can only hear you when you use a normal voice." Repeat as necessary.

If I am really irritated (and I know a child has been pushing me) I will say, "Whining never gets you what you want. If you whine, I will say 'no.'"

eta: Okay, I just saw you say that he's not ready for this. Too many interruptions going on here! I can't actually remember anything else I did. The children have destroyed my brain.

 

Oy. I feel your pain, too -- and mine aren't even talking yet, so they whine by going, "Ahhh! Unnghg! Ahhh!"

I really think I'm going to pull all my hair out some days. And worse, Nadia never did this at this age -- she was absolutely silent until she started talking (of course, she whines plenty *now*) -- anyhow. No answers here. Just commiseration!

The only thing that works is changing locations, with Karina especially. She whines all day to be picked up, entertained, etc. -- but taking her down to the basement playroom works wonders, and she will even play independently for long stretches there. When she gets bored of that, it's usually time for a meal or snack, or nap, etc. Or, if Kevan is quietly occupied, I open the baby gates and let her roam around the house -- she likes to go and bang on Nadia's keyboard, dump out her art supplies, etc.

I have to chase her, but it does stop the whining for a bit!

 

I started counting repetition with 1-2-3 Magic...I think that's part of the book. I have to re-read...

 

I totally feel your pain. One DD has been pretty whiny lately and has to repeat things a million times! Other DD has started saying "M no whining! Mommy says no whining!" So its even bothering her. I don't know if they really get it yet, but I do tell her to stop whining and tell me what she wants. I don't know how to discourage the repetition though. Its almost like she wants to make sure I really know what she is saying. As soon as I repeat it back to her or answer her she stops. GL getting your lil whiner to use his big boy words

 

I tried 1-2-3 with my kids and no luck there. Kevin is one stubborn mule! <_< But in time it will change to what I like to refer to as "henpecking" . John at the age of 4-5 started that-- so now it's not whining but just my oldest telling me what I need to be doing for him. (this is no way goes over well HERE.)

:hug: Holly.

 

:hug: We definitely have our whiny times here too!

For some reason, teaching the girls the word "Patient" helped some. They'll start the repetitive asking and I'll be working on getting what they'd like and I tell them Mommy is moving as quickly as she can but they need to be patient and ask them what do they need to be?? They look at me with their big blue eyes and repeat "Patient!"

Of course, these are the girls who tell us (me and my mom) that we have "issues" :laughing: My mom told them one day they needed to be patient with Babci, she was slow and had issues. And they now drag that out unprompted on occasion!

I also tell them they need to talk to me in big girl voices, I don't understand whining. Lather, rinse and repeat :lol:

 

Angela -- issues! That's hysterical! Nadia often tells me that I need to come quickly, because there is a *situation* (usually K&K destroying something) -- but, it would be much funnier coming from a 2-year-old.

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Jan 20 2009, 08:54 PM) [snapback]1155256[/snapback]
Other DD has started saying "M no whining! Mommy says no whining!" So its even bothering her.


Jake tells Emma to stop whining/crying all the time too! :wacko:


QUOTE(Sarah© @ Jan 20 2009, 09:11 PM) [snapback]1155271[/snapback]
Kevin is one stubborn mule! <_< But in time it will change to what I like to refer to as "henpecking" . John at the age of 4-5 started that-- so now it's not whining but just my oldest telling me what I need to be doing for him. (this is no way goes over well HERE.)

:rofl: I can relate! :hug:



:hug: s Holly! It drives me :crazy: too!

 

Honestly, I just never ever gave in to it. I played the "what? I can't understand you. What?" card and still do to this day.

My girls know that they won't get what they want until they use their "normal" or "big girl" voice. If they come in whining for something I usually say, "What? I'm sorry I just don't understand you. Please use your big girl voice" and immediately they re-ask it in their normal voice. It has helped to get them to avoid the whole whining thing pretty much altogether. I have done it ever since they could talk. Not saying it's the miracle cure. Every child is different and I don't know if part of it was just luck that they are not major whiners or if it was my method but whatever the case, I'm just so glad to have not gone through too much of that. (Now if I could just get Lorien to stop screaming at her sister every 2 seconds ) GL!

 

preschool teaches them to "use their big girl (or boy) voice". I'm also saying "use your words" alot lately when they are half muttering/half crying/frustrated. I also say "that hurts my ears, pls say it again in your big girl voice"

 

There isn't really a magic bullet. We do all the things everyone has said ("Use your big girl voice," etc.), and eventually it does help, but it seems to be as much a matter of maturity as training.

And yeah, Amy will tell Sarah to quit whining and vice versa, which of course is totally unhelpful, as it just makes the whiner mad. In fact that's part of the reason I stopped saying "I don't like that whiny voice" -- Amy enjoyed saying it far too much. <_< We get better results with direct requests like "Can you ask me nicely?"

Now that they're a bit older, I can say things like "I'm doing my best" and "I can only do three things at a time" and they sort of understand. But that helps more with the endless repetition of requests and the peremptory demands. It wasn't much use when they were in the frustrated-cranky-whining stage.