Whining, Time Outs and general behavior

I wouldn't say mine are going through the "terrible two's", although there have 'almost' been a few tantrums lately, but they seem to be whining more and more. They whine if they can't figure something out, want to play with something the other one has, don't want to eat, etc. Anybody else's doing this? It seems to be more of a frustration thing for them, no patience, etc. So far I'm trying to be calm and reason with them or distract them...hopefully I can maintain my patience! :wacko: Luckily, so far they're responding pretty well if I try to reason with them.

Just wondered how everyone else was doing with this and if you've found any magical cures to get it to stop!! :winking0009:

Also, I recently read that time outs shouldn't be a form of punishment, but a 'cool down' time and that you shouldn't correct behavior by threatening them or giving them ultimatiums. Such as, you shouldn't say "If you don't stop, you can't watch Dora later" or "If you don't stop, I'm taking it away." Just wondered what you guys thought about this. After reading that, I realize that I say both of the above types of phrases ALL the time. And I do give time outs as punishment...I thought that's what they were supposed to be!! I do try to give them choices whenever possible to keep the peace and cut down on the whining, which the article said to do instead, but it just seems like that's not always realistic.

Where is everyone else at on this stuff?

 

The whining is definitely on the rise in our house and I pretty much tell them that I won't respond to them if they are whining and they need to ask me in a regular voice and ask nicely if they want something...that includes saying please. They don't always get it and when they get frustrated or one takes something away from the other it is harder to get them to stop whining for sure.

I just started doing timeouts and I have to say that they aren't working that great. Sienna is a hitter and biter to her sister only and that is an automatic timeout for her, but it hasn't gotten any better. She just kind of lays in the timeout spot and complains until her time is up and then I make her say sorry. Lauren doesn't really hit or anything so I don't have to put her in timeout much and when I do she just laughs and sings sitting in it, so it doesn't really seem like much of a punishment if you ask me.

I only wanted to use timeouts for hitting and not for everything, like when they steal toys I tell them to share and stuff. If they really fight over something than I just take it away and neither of them can have it.

To be honest I have know idea if what I am doing is right or wrong, but it is all you can do just to get through each day. Plus they are in daycare 3 days a week and with my mom 2 days a week while I work so I am trying to make sure they get the same treatment in all places so they don't get confused.

 

yes! The whining and "sort-of-tantrums" have started here too! Zoe is a lot worse than Ella and seems to struggle to try and tell me what is bothering her...when something doesn't go her way (can't figure out a toy or wants a toy Ella has), then she starts to whine and whine and finally ends up melting down completely! Its like her emotions just get the better of her. Ella will just walk around babbling to herself in a very whiny way!

Some days I have more patience than others and I can reason with them, use a soft voice and try to give them alternatives. Other days it feels like it doesn't matter how I handle it...they just continue...which ends up with ultimatums on my part (and deep breaths).

I am hoping to get them into a playschool for the next school year and I think that will help a lot....some more interaction for them and some alone time for mommy

 

[SIZE=12pt]God the whining is TERRIBLE!!! They seems to whine a lot more when I'm around than with others tho. I don't know if they know they have mommy wrapped around their little fingers or what!

I've been just as consistent as DH. I keep putting them in time out chairs, or putting them down for another nap or two.
So, I don't get why they keep whining!!

UGGH!

Bridget[/SIZE]

 

Ok I have been gone for awhile because of this exact issue. I have absoultly NO FREE time. I just have whining ALL day long. It gets so bad that I have to just walk away or I think I will lose it. Please tell me will this end soon? I can't go to another room with out crying, they are stuck to my hip every minute of the day. My DH has been laid off since Jan, and they have become VERY clingy. Now that DH got called back, he is gone during the day and I am left to deal with it all myself. Where he was here to help with them a little bit before. Some days I think I am a terrible mom, and only my kids act this way. It is good that I am not the only one who goes through this, even if mine are way worse.

Time outs are not working here either. We are consistant, hoping that they "get the idea", but so far no luck. They just continue the behavior that got them there in the first place when they get out. SO FRUSTRATING for mommy. I don't know what else to do etiher. I am also thinking that preschool is going to be a good idea in October when they turn 3. I think the interaction with the other kids will help. And like pp said, will definately give mommy some alone time.

If you got this far, Thanks for reading!

 

I don't know if this will help anyone else or not or how long it will work with mine, but I thought I'd pass on my "droplets of success". When they start whining or throwing a fit, I've been telling them "If you want to throw a fit, go in the corner and throw it, we don't throw fits in the middle of the floor." Don't tell me why, but this simple sentence is actually getting them to stop and go about their business!! Maybe because it says to them, "Go ahead, throw your fit, Mommy doesn't care, but you have to do it over there", thus it loses the appeal for them. I have no idea, but I'm not questioning it!

I've been doing a similar thing for the whining. If they start up, I tell them to go in their room or in the corner if they want to whine/cry otherwise, let's get in our chairs to eat or whatever it was they didn't want to do. Not saying that they still don't whine or cry multiple times a day, but this seems to shorten the length of the episode some. I hope the main thing I'm emphasizing to them is that I don't want to hear the whining, its not ok, but they still have a choice, so they can deal with it a little better.

Anyway, just wanted to pass on my somewhat success at stopping fits/whining before they really get started or out of control.