where did I go wrong?

It started back in Sept. after some changes , but one of my daughters kept waking up and crying, having trouble going to sleep. Okay. So, I did what the doctor suggested to get her to sleep by telling her I'd keep checking on her if she was in her bed and quiet. She was waking about 1 or 2 times a night. I would do the same thing. After giving up the binkies, it was hard as well. Then, she has been sick and I've let her sleep in our bed after the 2nd wakeup during the night. I know she is feeling better and want her to sleep in her bed. I've tried offering incentives, but hasn't worked yet? Any ideas ??? I feel like this is my fault and want her back to where she was as a good sleeper. They share a room so, if I put her back in bed and keep checking on her she'll go back to sleep but think this is more like a habit now, where she wakes up and just comes to get me. This is really wearing us out and I really need to sleep without waking so much. I leave her door open and don't want to close it on her, and I know she'd start screaming and crying and all. Help!!!!

 

you went wrong with letting her into your bed. I know it is so hard, especially when they are sick, but you pay the price. I agree it is a habit now, I think your only choice is some tough love and consistency. I notice sometimes with Phoebe that she goes through cycles of sleeping well. Consistency with how I deal with those wake ups (quiet reassurance and tucking back into bed) and eventually we are back to a good stretch of no wake ups. Mine are still in cribs with crib tents at this point so it is a little easier. I dread moving them to beds!

I hope someone else can chime in with some good advice. I know how hard this is!

 

but what do you do when you tuck them in and they either ..........scream if you leave or........you have to sit in the room until they fall asleep?? I usually end up sitting on the floor falling alsleep.

 

QUOTE(R2cuties @ Nov 30 2007, 03:11 AM) [snapback]514740[/snapback]
but what do you do when you tuck them in and they either ..........scream if you leave or........you have to sit in the room until they fall asleep?? I usually end up sitting on the floor falling alsleep.


You ignore them. Plain and simple. If you don't want to shut the door, put a gate in the door. When you put her to bed, tell her you'll see her in the morning. If she screams, ignore it. It's not an "I need you" scream. It's an "I'm mad" scream. After being super consistent for a while, she'll realize the best thing to do is go back to sleep and you'll get her up in the morning with a smile.

 

I do agree w/Meredith - as mommy you can tell the difference between screams... We go through this nightly here, after we put them down there is about 10 minutes of yelling that is more along the lines of anger rather than need. We ignore it. We have the monitor on but don't turn the reciever end on downstairs until about 15 minutes after we've closed the door and said good night. We are ALWAYS greeted w/huge smiles and hugs in the morning, so I know it's not really bothering them.

Sorry you are having the trouble though! :hug99:

alexis

 

I'm in agreement as well. She's in the room with her sister so it's not like she's all alone. At this point it is a habit and the gentle approach isn't working. Tell her good night, say the doctor said mommy can't sleep in her room anymore because she is old enough to sleep by herself, and leave, closing the door behind you. After a few nights, she'll start sleeping well again. If you go and check on her a lot, she won't though because she'll think that you're not going to follow through on what you said. Good luck!