Where did I go wrong

My girls will be 2 years old next month and one or both of them still wake up at some point in the night just about every night. I know it is normal for them to wake up, but they start to full on cry so of course I go in so that they won't wake the other one or get going so bad that it takes me forever to get them back to sleep. I think that only about a dozen times I have put them down at night and not heard a peep until morning in the whole two years.

When they wake they cry and it could be just a quick go in pat that backs and they go back to sleep or it can turn into a couple of hours of fussing and not going back to sleep. I know that teething sometimes plays a role in it, but is this normal for them to wake almost every night like this? I would think it should be the other way around that they sleep through most nights and waking is more the minority.

BTW they eat fine, take anywhere from 1 1/2 hour to 2 hour nap a day, they go to bed at 7:30pm and fall asleep fine (they just won't stay asleep) and wake up between 6:30 and 7:00am.

Maybe this is the norm....I guess it is starting to frustrate me and I am looking for input from others.

Thanks!

 

Mine do the same thing - still!! I can probably count on one hand the number of full nights sleep they both had at the same time! :wacko: And then when they do both sleep all night, I end up waking up to check on them because they haven't woken up yet! CIO hasn't worked for us, so I don't really have any advice for you, just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain!! Hang in there! I think eventually they will sleep all night won't they?!?!? :unsure:

 

It sounds like it has become a habit for them to need you to get themselves back to sleep. Waking at night is OK, not being able to put themselves back to sleep is the problem. I know that my guys would sleep through the others cries. You may want to start with a quick check to make sure all is OK, then leave--also, don't engage them when checking. It will be hard, but once they are able to put themselves back to sleep, everyone will be better rested, and happier!

 

I hate to say it but your going back in everytime they cry is probably where you are going wrong. I know it's hard not to, I still do sometimes. I don't mean to be a hypocrit but I have gotten much better about not going in every time, especially with Lorien who did this to me for months until I finally wised up and stopped going in for every little whine she made. I started to recognize the difference between her "fake" cry that is calling for me to go in like I ALWAYS did and when she was really in pain or sick. Even when I stopped going in, she woke up for a couple of months but she soon realized that I wasn't coming in and the crying stopped and she would just play with her crib toys or talk to herself and then eventually fall asleep again. Now, she FINALLY has stopped waking up pretty much all together. Crying it out can be very difficult and I still struggle with it to this day but I realized that I was a BIG part of the problem. I also used to worry about them waking the other but they seem to usually sleep right through it and if they do wake up, they usually go right back to sleep. The only time I will go in now is when one of them is sick or the cry is an obvious pain cry (horrible gas, leg stuck in slat, nightmare etc.). I will usually put on their bedtime cd again and rock them and put them back in crib after about 5-10 minutes. If they start crying again when I put them back in the crib then I will usually rock for another 5-10 min. and then say good night. They may cry a little bit again but usually they fall back asleep.

Hang in there. I know it's tough to have not such great sleepers. I have so been there and continue to work on it every night.

 

Thanks guys for your responses...it helps and that was what I needed to know. It is not too much to expect that they can sleep through the night without me going in there when they cry. I know it will be tough, but I will stick with it because I know it will be better for them in the long run if they can put themselves to sleep anytime they wake up.

Thanks again!

 

kstar,

How's it going? Have you been able to cio? If you are like me, you may have some good days where you stay strong and then some weak ones where you cave once again and run to the rescue. Don't give up if you have those days. As you said, it's important that they learn to go to sleep on their own. I only wish I had done it so much sooner as I would have gotten to get a better nights sleep months earlier. But I guess I just wasn't ready. You know, adults have their own phases and milestones to reach as well .

 

My girls are the same and are 3 the thing with them though is if i don't go in and give them back the soother or put their blankets back on, and sometimes even if i do, they will play for 1-3 hours in their room in the dark even without toys they will play with their shadow talk to pretend spiders, laugh and talk to each other and jump from bed to bed. I can relate 3 years of not sleeping is catching up with me these days. Hope you can find a way to get them to sleep better for you.