Hey all - This site saved my life seven years ago when I was pregnant with my first children, my identical girls. Glad to be back! My concern is when to separate my girls in school, begin to dress them completely different, etc. They are in first grade and are exceptional students. Their teacher says both are on a seventh grade reading level and she has consulted with the district to come up with a plan to challenge them. Of course, my husband and I are extremely proud however we cannot take credit. The girls are gifted and I want to make sure we nurture this. They are in the same class now however I would like to separate them next year. I am worried this will cause anxiety and effect their performance. I am also still dressing them alike. Honestly, it's just much easier and with a four year old boy as well, I am looking for the least drama possible. Any opinions are appreciated! Thanks so much! Crystie
Welcome back!! :wavey: I think the answers are going to vary! :lol: It all depends on your girls and their needs and personality. :good: Good luck with your decision!
Like Liz said, it all depends upon the children involved. Most will do well, some won't. It's trial and error really. My kids we separated from K all the way up until 6th grade when they were put together. It is working out wonderfully, actually.
I split mine this year (were supposed to be separated for K but the school district mucked that up) and they are doing wonderfully...my son just tested into the gifted program, and my daughter is right on grade level but kicks his a$$ athletically...
Have you asked them what they want, separately, so they can't "offend" their sister. I know two girls who are part of a set of triplets--the other is a boy. It was until Middle school that their mother had them dress alike. BUT, as soon as they were on the bus, they would change their hairstyles, or how they were wearing their clothes to make them look different from each other. They started this in 2nd grade. So, while their mother was dressing them alike, they showed by their behavior, that they didn't want to be dressed alike. I would also start making opportunities for them to be apart and dress differently. Because, if being together 24/7 and dressing alike is all they know, they may not realize that they have other options to choose from. Another thought is to allow them to pick out their own clothes.
We seperated the girls in this year because they are so competive. They are at the top of each of their class but not blowing anyone out of he water yet. They are in classes right across the hall from each other so it's not bad. We still dress the girls alike and they aren't ready to be dressed differently. They still really like it and confusing people on who's who. One has glasses and wavier hair so they aren't normal confused for each other
I would allow them to pick their own outfits, separately, a couple times a week and see how that goes. If they don't like to be dressed differently, that's fine. Try again after a few months. If that's all they know, it may not even occur to them that there are other options. I do think it's important they be given the chance to form their own identity, but you know them best and know if dressing alike is helping or hurting their sense of individuality. As far as separating or keeping together, I strongly believe that is a case by case decision best made by the parents and teachers. You want to make sure your girls are able to function as individuals, and are comfortable on their own, but you don't always have to separate them in school to have that happen. If your girls don't depend on each other, have other friends, aren't competitive in a negative way, etc, and they want to stay together, let them. My boys are great together and great apart. They have their own group of friends at school and really don't pay much attention to each other. But for some reason, both want to be in the same classroom. I think they just like to know their brother is in their classroom, just in case. In case of what, I don't know. They seem oblivious to the fact that their brother is in their room! Andrew has thrown up in class and be sent home, and Nathan didn't even realize it until I came and got Andrew's things from the classroom. Nathan fell on the playground and get a bloody nose, blood was all over his face and shirt, and Andrew had no clue until the end of the day when I asked Nathan how he was. Two weeks ago, Andrew had an accident on the playground and ended up with a broken collar bone, and Nathan had no idea Andrew had even gotten hurt. Yet they want to be in the same classroom. Since I can't see any reason to separate them, and their teachers have given me no reason, and they find some comfort in being together, I will. I plan on keeping them together until both are ready to be separated.
As everyone else has written, its an individual thing. My ID girls have been in the same classes since preschool. Every couple of months I ask their teachers if being together is causing problems (limiting each other, unhealthy competition, disrupting the class etc) and at the end of the year I ask if they recommend separation or continuing together. The answer has always been that they're fine either way, so we leave the choice up to the girls. Their school groups reading classes (about 90mins per day) by ability not by homeroom or even grade. Except for the first quarter of 1st grade, they have always tested into the same classes. So, with recesses and lunch, they'd be together half the day anyway even if they were in separate homerooms. In homeroom, they are in different clusters and small groups, usually stand apart in line and are on different teams for PE. I almost always dressed them the same, similar or matching until preschool (4 yrs old) when I tried to make them dress differently so it would be easier on the teachers. It wasn't, beause they'd have to remember what outfit each child was wearing each day, and the girls wanted to be the same. So, they have ankle bracelets on opposite ankles and I made sure to put a bow or hair decoration on the same side as the anklet each day. That way the teachers only had to remember left or right. In Kindergarten they started picking out their school clothes for the whole week and usually picked the same until half way through 1st grade when they suddenly started choosing different. Now in 2nd they choose to be different about 90% of the time and still have the hair decoration on opposite sides.
