When will he ever be ready to give up the paci?

My almost 2.5 yo, Connor, is still so dependent on a pacifier. With the help of our preschool teacher, we have been able to get him to give it up while he is at school, but ANY other time, he acts like he is going to die if it is not in his mouth. I don't mind him needing it at night so much, it's during the day when he should want it out so he can talk and socialize. I don't know why he is willing to give it up at preschool but not when he is home with us or anyplace else. When I take his paci out and announce that we are putting it away until bedtime, he goes absolutely ballistic!! I have listened to him scream for up to 2 hours before I finally just let him have it again. When I tell people how old he is, they always make a smart remark about how we need to "get that binky away from him" or he will be going to kindergarten with it. At this point, I am convinced he probably will. I feel like such a horrible mom for not knowing how to handle something as simple as weaning a 2 1/2 year-old away from a paci. I just can't sit there and watch him make himself sick screaming for it.

Any suggestions? Does anyone else by chance have a toddler this old who still insists on sucking a paci almost 24/7? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

:unsure:

Jamie

 

He probably gives it up at school becasue he knows the teachers won't allow it and at home he knows he will win the battle with you. IMO - you need to just take it away and be done with it. He may scream but know he knows that if he screams long enough, you will give in. When he does this, put him in his room or another room and walk out. Once he realizes he isn't going to win, he will stop. I would also not give it to him at night either.

 

Jamie,

I just sent you a private message.

 

I agree with the PP. My two (Ainsley moreso) acted like they were going to die if they didn't have their binkies. When they were 23 months, all of us put the binkies in a box, taped it shut, and we told them that they were big girls and the binkies were going to new babies. They seemed to understand that the binkies were gone and really, there was not a whole lot of fussing. They asked about them for a few days, but were OK when we told them they were gone. I decided it was time to give them up when the binkies were becoming a nusance. They were crying for specific color ones, throwing them in the car and then wanting them back, etc. That was enough for me.

 

I agree with the PP's in that at school he knows the teacher won't give in but he knows you will. I'd take it away and buy some ear plugs to use for a while. My DD was playing this game for a while. DH and I had her down to her paci just at night and naptime, but she knew she could play the nanny to get it at other times (despite me telling the nanny to hold her ground). So I was forceful with the nanny and now Lily knows she only gets her paci while in her crib. She hands it to us when we go to get her out of her crib.

Now, I'm working on taking it away for good. They start daycare next month and I want to get them used to that before I take away her paci, but we intend to be completely rid of it by June 1.

 

Hi Jamie ( I like your name, )

My Jack is still extremely dependant on his paci... and he is 3!!! I have no idea... he screams like someone is killing him when he can't find it... to the point he makes himself sick.

 

Mine were severe binky addicts. We cut them off cold turkey at the beginning of December. After a month, we were back to our normal routine. It was rough, but worth it since they do not depend on it as much. And Ben's speech development has taken off since then as well! IMO, I don't think they would have self-weaned. So we finally just had to bite the bullet and get rid of them.

 

My SIL, gave them to "Santa to give to other kids". That worked. Also, on Jon and Kate Plus 8, she had them all put them in a bag and give them to a new baby cousin...

Honestly...tell them they are too big now, and just take it away. I know its hard to listen to, but honestly, he will get bored with the complaining, and stop sooner than you think. There is nothing worse than a CHILD walking around in public with pacis (Im talking 4-5-6 years olds).....

 

QUOTE
Honestly...tell them they are too big now, and just take it away. I know its hard to listen to, but honestly, he will get bored with the complaining, and stop sooner than you think.


I hope the boredness ends soon. I've been trying for a week now, and its the same screaming until he throws up everyday! Our family Dr. says since he has no signs of speech problems and has good teeth etc. as long as he is off of it when he starts pre-school (which the teachers would make him anyway) then it was nothing serious to worry about, it was just the parents worrying theirselves to death.

 

Eli loves his paci too. He is only allowed to have his at bedtime and naptime but recently he was pretty sick and had it all the time so we have had to "re-train" him. He still knows that he's not supposed to have it out of his crib but that doesn't stop him from trying at times

We give him choices.

Example: In the mornings they get a sippy of milk as soon as they get up. He only gets his milk if he gives me his paci. Sometimes it takes a few minutes but the sippy wins out everytime There are other examples where if he's wanting his paci he has to make a choice and he gives it up.

 

I think you just need to go with cold turkey, and certainly the "tricks" are nice too- leaving them for a paci fairy, etc.

Just remember that, as the parent, it really is up to you, and whether or not it is worth it to you. If it is going to make YOU absolutely miserable to take them all away, then maybe it's the wrong time for you to force them to give it up. If you can't force it now, maybe wait a bit until a time when you have more energy to deal with it. I don't know if that makes sense, I guess I am just trying to say that really, it's your decision.

 

Just another idea, we invented the “binky fairy” so he left his binky in decorated bag (well scribbled on bag) outside his door (on his door knob) and if he left it there all night he got a gift (and the binky would be gone)… I know some people are anti bribes but it worked wonderful for my family… he had a few so he gave up one every other night… The last gift was a dozy… it worked…
We tried the giving to my sisters babies… nope, not having it… he tried to give me money to give them their own binkies at the binky store… it’s just an idea, it’s not for everyone… it worked for us…
Good luck…