When Was It Time To REALLY Start Slowing Down?

So...my DW just hit her 20 weeks mark. I am currently in Iraq AND we just opened our own Cafe/Resturant last monday (www.papaseanscafe.com)...shameless plug.

Anyways...she takes great care of herself, goes to yoga, the gym, but she has been working 15 hour days right before and since we opened.

I have "lovingly scolded" her about this, but she said she is fine and she might as well do it while she is JUST 5 months along.

When did you guys notice, or discover that you REALLY had to let up on some things and REALLY start taking it easy?

 

I noticed a big difference in my ability to walk around for long periods of time (I am a teacher), be on my feet for long periods of time, chase after my older son, etc. when I was around 28 weeks. I started becoming more uncomfortable, more tired, achey, etc.

Congrats on the new restaurant!

 

QUOTE(mama23boys @ Jun 23 2009, 09:23 PM) [snapback]1365994[/snapback]
I noticed a big difference in my ability to walk around for long periods of time (I am a teacher), be on my feet for long periods of time, chase after my older son, etc. when I was around 28 weeks. I started becoming more uncomfortable, more tired, achey, etc.



I agree - I am also a teacher and I wound up leaving work at 30 weeks - I just couldn't stay on my feet that long. And I am so glad that I did leave when I did - after that it just got so much harder to be on my feet and going all day.

 

Congrats on the business

I felt fine doing everyday things until around 33 wks. That's when I began retaining water and swelling more thruought the day [not to mention having to use the restroom every 15 mins if I were on my feet - darn you gravity ]. I'd be fine in the morning, but would get more and more uncomfortable as the day went on.

Though every pregnancy is different for every woman. If at any point she feels tired or needs a break, she should take one. I can understand her wanting to make sure the business is running smoothly, but make sure she knows the health of her and the bab[ies] should take priority. The most important thing she can do is listen to her body and continue seeing her OB regularly.

 

That is what I was thinking. I was telling her that by her 7th month, she should really be slowing it down.

I think it is going to have to take "her body" telling her to stop, or slow down before she does...

We have about 5 people that work for us, so once they are all trained, she can relax.

The goal is that when she is ready to go back to work (bout 8 weeks after delivery) that I am going to take a full month off military and work there for her so she will have a good 3 months before she has to do anything.

Of course this is what I would prefer...she is stubborn at times...no...A LOT of the times

 

See restaurant is easy you just sit there and eat all day and tell others what to do right? That is what OH used to tell me till I left him there said he was in charge and took the kids out. He called in tears within the hour. and honestly I was scared for my business. I tell you that to tell you this is a labor of love, that being said I worked on friday went in labor sat delivered a 9lb daughter on sunday morning and she was at work with me on monday. Your seems to be a joint effort so that will make it easier on all of you. Your wife should jut listen to her body and go from there. We owned a super suppers and it was great to have your own place!

Good luck in Iraq and most importantly THANK YOU!!

 

Yes...she was one the "fast track" to owning her own State Farm agency within the year, but we have both always wanted a place like this that we own. I think it will be better for her...allow her more flexiblity in the long run.

They are doing a great job so far. Our town doesn't really have a place like ours nearby. We are getting a lot of publicity...with me being here, her prego with twins, etc.

SHe has already gotten some free radio time and she is going on the local tv channel sat morn to do a 15 min segment on our place for thier morning show.

I love free publicity

 

I started to "feel it" around 26 weeks...but by about 28-29 it wasn't just a "feeling"...just remember and remind her that she only gets ONE chance to cook these babies. lots and lots of women run around and do all their normal stuff and go on to have healthy twin pregnancies...but there are also A LOT who unexpectedly go into preterm labor and end up with babies born at 28 weeks. Not to be an alarmist (because seriously, I am NOT like that at all!), but it is important to remember that her babies need to be her priority and there are no do overs. Also, keep in mind that opening a new business (and a restaurant at that!) is a MUCh different thing phsychologically and in terms of stress than being a "seasoned" teacher...teachers work hard and I could never do their job...but my point is that what your wife is doing right now is a whole different ball game and she needs to be careful because by the time her body "tells her", it may be too late.

Hang in there and thanks for serving our country!!!

 

QUOTE(faerieprncs @ Jun 23 2009, 10:26 PM) [snapback]1366133[/snapback]
I started to "feel it" around 26 weeks...but by about 28-29 it wasn't just a "feeling"...just remember and remind her that she only gets ONE chance to cook these babies. lots and lots of women run around and do all their normal stuff and go on to have healthy twin pregnancies...but there are also A LOT who unexpectedly go into preterm labor and end up with babies born at 28 weeks. Not to be an alarmist (because seriously, I am NOT like that at all!), but it is important to remember that her babies need to be her priority and there are no do overs. Also, keep in mind that opening a new business (and a restaurant at that!) is a MUCh different thing phsychologically and in terms of stress than being a "seasoned" teacher...teachers work hard and I could never do their job...but my point is that what your wife is doing right now is a whole different ball game and she needs to be careful because by the time her body "tells her", it may be too late.

Hang in there and thanks for serving our country!!!


Yes...that is exactly how I feel. She goes in to see her Dr. on Friday and I told her to tell him all what she has been doing and get his input. He is a father of 13 yr old twin boys, so he can relate a bit.

She said she is going to get it VERY SOON where she just goes there in the mornings and is off by 2 or 3.

Her plate is definately full. We also have 3 dogs at home and one is just a 7 month old cane corso puppy (she is 65lbs, so not really a puppy anymore).

The good thing is, is that her Mom helps run the place with her...and I think she is going to be kicking her out and MAKING her go home earlier soon.

 

I'm actually already feeling it at 22 weeks. Its becoming more and more difficult for me to walk around and commute via public transport/etc. London is quite warm at the moment and I get winded and dizzy really easy. I have to really pace myself and be very careful climbing stairs (I nearly had a fainting spell last week). There is also no A/C in this town which makes it worse. I think environment and climate/time of year plays a big part in how long it takes before it gets rough.

 

I knew that I needed to start taking it much easier a few weeks ago (20 weeks), but just officially quit work yesterday (almost 24 weeks now). I'm kind of in the same situation as your wife because my husband is military and deployed as well, however, I am not running a restaurant! I am feel so sore all of the time, with one of the babies that keeps moving onto my sciatic nerve causing my legs to feel shooting pains as well as being slightly numb.

My hubby and I agreed that we'd rather lose my income than risk the health of the babies. Plus we knew that I wouldn't be going back to work after they were born. At least while we are still stationed in Hawaii (another year to year & half, depending on if he re-enlists). Childcare is way too expensive, I'd be working to MAYBE pay for childcare here.

 

I started having trouble walking up stairs about 23 weeks and then I started having contractions at 25. I have been in an out of bedrest and am actually stuck at the hospital for now. I agree with all the pp that she will have to listen to her body and her doctor's recommendations.

Also, thanks for all you do in the Iraq and for our armed forces!!!

 

I am a firefighter instructor at the DOD fire academy. I was still going outside and teaching until 20wks then I started having Braxton Hicks!! I felt horrible like I was going to pass out. I really had to slow down. I am still working but sit behind a desk now. I feel much better but need a lot of help at home. When I get home I am spent. I have no energy to cook dinner or put the dogs out and I've been scared a few times because of the all the aches and pains. My mother is staying with us now because my husband is a firefighter and works 24hr shifts. as much as I hate to admit it I really can not take care of myself right now... I am 25 wks tommorrow.

I completely understand her not wanting to slow down. I was the same way it's a rough transition! God bless Thank you for serving our country

 

QUOTE(mamabyrd @ Jun 24 2009, 06:29 AM) [snapback]1366393[/snapback]
I am still working but sit behind a desk now. I feel much better but need a lot of help at home. When I get home I am spent. I have no energy to cook dinner or put the dogs out and I've been scared a few times because of the all the aches and pains.


Yup what she said LOL. I am 27 weeks and although I have a desk job we also have an 11 year old and a 12 month old and 2 dogs so not only am I exhausted and in pain after I get home from work but have to keep running until 9:00 pm. And then it's time for me to go to bed to start it all over again the next day. I just can't keep that pace up anymore and am taking 4 weeks vacation starting this Friday, I then expect to be written out of work by 32 weeks by my doc.

She definitely needs to listen to her body and her family and friends. I know I tend to push myself even if they're telling me to slow down because I don't want to admit that I can't do it all or keep the same pace up, but the truth is I can't and the babies need to take first priority. I just have to suck it up and admit that I can't.

I hope everything works out for you both!!!

 

I began feeling it at 22 weeks and knew it was coming and kept ignoring it. Now my hubby won that fight and the Dr's sided with him.
I'm pretty much stuck at home unless it's for trips to the doctor appts and that began at week 26. The swelling is what made me toss in the towel at trying to do even housework some days now at I think almost 29 weeks.

I think it's going to depend on how well she handles the pregnancy and what the doctor say. Maybe have a call to the doctor and let him know you are concerned.

Take care of yourself and make sure you stay safe!

 

I had a desk job but at 32 weeks things came to a stopping point for me. My OB put on me on modified bedrest & just told me to rest rest rest (and hydrate!) until my scheduled c-section at 37.5 weeks :good:

Congrats on your new restaurant!!!
Stay safe in Iraq :hug:

 

Congrats on your new business!

I'm just about 21 weeks and this past week i had to do alot of running around and i could defiantly tell i needed to slow down a bit.

 

Hi there!
Your wife sounds alot like me.I own my own bussiness,and I to had NO complications....so I kept working on the advise of my OB...When I went for a routine check up @ 25.4 weeks my US showed my cervix had shortened,and off to the hospital I went!

all is fine now,Im on home bedrest,and my boys are hanging in there (Ill be 29 tommorrow),but looking back I WISH I had taken it easier the month prior to the event.

My husband is gone too,and the extra workload of the kids and the bussiness fell unto me(I certainly dont mind that wasnt a complaint).Its hard being pregnant let alone being alone(but for an excellent cause obliously)so if I was you Id tell her to put her feet up several times a day,and not to try and be a hero.....thats your job!

Take care of yourself!

J

 

At 28 weeks I thought I was just fine. I worked and I was up and down during the day but basically a desk job for the most part. I went in for my reg appt and found out I was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated. Full bedrest for me until the end now. I have to monitor contractions and I have an IV pump. My point here is that all people are different. I kept in shape and thought all was going good but everyone reacts to pregnancy differently. I think she should be open and honest with her doctor and between you all you can work out what is best... Good luck!

 

I am 32 weeks and I refused to be written out of work. I think when to slow down is up to the individual. Your body will give you clues when you are doing too much and the key is not to ignore them. My doctor wanted to write me out for the carpal tunnel I am experiencing but given that is the only thing really bothering me right now, I think I can modify my job to work around it. I realize I am a fluke but I feel great at 32 weeks, I just need to take a few more breaks.

 

About 24 weeks it started to hit, but I don't think I ever really slowed down, I just got slow lol. I guess I was raised with the "buck up" idea so I have always been one to push it. I was 8 mo preg on my hands and knees cleaning all the floors in the house. I never stopped any activity. But like I said, I did get slower. Just couldn't move as fast. Her body will tell her when to rest.

 

I cut back my work hours at 29 weeks (to under 5 per day, and cut back on travelling) but have been doing fine with it until this week (32). AM feeling quite tired and having difficulty standing for any length of time due to short breath, sore legs etc etc. I think it depends on the type of work that you do and the hours you work - I plan to stay "desk bound" for the most part from now on and continue working.

 

Thanks for all your input...I copied and pasted this post and e-mailed it to her.

Yeah...her concern is totally for them lil ones, but I don't think she has never NOT been able to do things. She was ALWAYS on the go. I think it is sinking in to her now that she has to slow down.

Yeah...Daycare costs...tell me about it. To enroll them on base, it's 127 a week per kid(they base it off of income...from 65 a week being the lowest rate to 127 a week being the highest). The thing is, we need to have a daycare they can go to, eventhough I will try to work off shifts when I am home and keep them out of daycare as much as we can, but I am a flying mechanic for the Air Force and get called away sometimes in the middle of the night and just have to leave. Eventhough it's just over 1,000 a month for daycare, we need a place where we know we can drop them off if need be. I'll tell you what...this daycare on base is great. They have a 6 week to 6 month room with 8 cribs and 3 workers...cameras everywhere, always inspected, and they have to meet "normally" stricter requirements than a home daycare (my mother runs a 12 child home daycare and has been doing home daycare for oer 20 years).

We are putting them there until they are "more durable", then will seek maybe an off-base daycare. Just kind of have to see how it goes.

 

I am embarrassed to say that I am having a hard time at 18 weeks. I get really dizzy whenever i walk and extremely lightheaded. I have asthma to and that has just made it extra hard. We went grocery shopping tonight and I could hardly walk around because I felt like I was going to faint and when we got in the truck I was having such a hard time breathing that I just broke down to my husband because I was scared how much worse it will get. It has been extremely hot here too so I am sure that has a lot to do with how I have been feeling. I have to young kids to chase around all day plus other kids that I babysit so I don't really get to relax, lol. Hopefully your wife really is feeling good

Good luck with your new business, in iraq and your twins

 

Embarassed?!?!?!?!?!

Listen, I am embarassed at being over here while she is trying to do so many things, much less be prego with twins. Even IF I was there with her, I'd still feel guilty.

After reading a lot of these things on here...I am like WOW!!! Mucho R.E.S.P.E.C.T. (singing the song...ha) to all

 

29 weeks for me and thats when bedrest was ordered by my doctor. I felt great though my cervix wasnt quite the measurement the doctor was looking for. Some women are able to go all through their pregnancy without problems. I know many in my local twins club.

 

About 24 weeks here. I actually felt great at 16-20 weeks, then slowly downhill, then at 24 weeks it got much harder, and continued to get much harder every week after that. I got put on modified bedrest at 29 weeks and delivered at 37.

Your daycare sounds great, and not that pricey compared to the ones in our area! (We pay about $1000/month per child -- slightly less now that they're in preschool.)

 

I responded earlier but I have to say, I'm 23 weeks now and I can barely manage walking moderate distances down the street. The 10 minute walk from my house to the Tube (subway) in the heat causes me to get dizzy and lightheaded all the time now. Climbing stairs is downright dangerous as I feel like I'm going to blackout every time I have to do it. I say though that if she feels good, let her keep going because it sucks once you cant do the little things anymore. Her body will force her to slow down and stop when its time.

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Jun 25 2009, 11:43 PM) [snapback]1369472[/snapback]
About 24 weeks here. I actually felt great at 16-20 weeks, then slowly downhill, then at 24 weeks it got much harder, and continued to get much harder every week after that. I got put on modified bedrest at 29 weeks and delivered at 37.

Your daycare sounds great, and not that pricey compared to the ones in our area! (We pay about $1000/month per child -- slightly less now that they're in preschool.)


WOW!!! I don't feel so bad now...paying bout a grand for 2

 

You shouldn't feel embarassed - you're doing a great service to your country!

After posting the other day I've been having fainting/dizzy spells - Dr checked my BP and it's 79/60! Nothing dangerous, but definitely my bodies way of telling me to slow down - and it's worked! If your wife starts getting these symptoms then I am sure she will listen to her body and slow down. The fact that she is at the gym and doing yoga means she must still feel really good (now my idea of exercise is a walk to the car or a meeting lol). At 20 weeks I was still hiking and keeping very busy, so she's probably fine. What does her Dr say?

Yikes, daycare costs have me worried as well - it's around $800/month per child. Mind you, that's in Canadian $ - so it's around $680-$700 US.

 

QUOTE(kerala @ Jun 26 2009, 10:14 AM) [snapback]1369908[/snapback]
You shouldn't feel embarassed - you're doing a great service to your country!

After posting the other day I've been having fainting/dizzy spells - Dr checked my BP and it's 79/60! Nothing dangerous, but definitely my bodies way of telling me to slow down - and it's worked! If your wife starts getting these symptoms then I am sure she will listen to her body and slow down. The fact that she is at the gym and doing yoga means she must still feel really good (now my idea of exercise is a walk to the car or a meeting lol). At 20 weeks I was still hiking and keeping very busy, so she's probably fine. What does her Dr say?

Yikes, daycare costs have me worried as well - it's around $800/month per child. Mind you, that's in Canadian $ - so it's around $680-$700 US.


She is at the Dr's RIGHT NOW....she knows to tell him everything she is doing.(and NOT to hide anything...ha)...we shall see what he says

 

She just got done with Dr. She is 20 weeks and 1 day...both were 11oz and within 3 grams of eachother.

She told him all what she was doing. Of course I don't believe everything I read, and everyone is different, but it is still nice to at least hear a bunch of stories how you guys handled it all...this is what I got from her...

"I told him the truth about our cafe and my hours...He said for me to not slow down until my body told me to! He reminded me that I am NOT disabled, just pregnant! He said, though, that if I began to feel fatigue often or have ANY abnormal feelings at all, then I needed to reduce my hours, but only I know my body. He said that "bedrest" is a last resort and can only usually be brought on by the High Blood pressure disease he told us about at our first appointment or pre-term labor. Otherwise, he says to STAY ACTIVE!! So, I feel better. He said to prop my feet up- yada yada.... Which I'm already doing. HE ALSO SAID for you to be careful what you read online! Not everyone clearly communicates problems with their doctors and not every doctor adequately cares for their pregnant patients. Bad experiences can lead to bad advice. "

 

QUOTE(Pitbullzz @ Jun 26 2009, 11:28 AM) [snapback]1370086[/snapback]
He reminded me that I am NOT disabled, just pregnant!


That's great that everything seems to be going well!!!

I have to say it drives me nuts when people say that phrase. If my doc said that to me I right now I think I'd claw his eyes out LOL. But that's because my body IS slowing down unfortunately and I can't do much physically so I feel disabled and useless most days. I wish I could just do the housecleaning that needs to be done but I just can't and that really bothers me.

As long as she is still feeling good more power to her! I hope she feels that great through the entire pregnancy!!! Good luck with everything!

Oh and this is my first day off work, YAY! Took 4 weeks vacation and then I'll be out on Dr's orders at 32 weeks. This last week was torture!

 

QUOTE(chellebelle @ Jun 26 2009, 04:31 PM) [snapback]1370406[/snapback]
That's great that everything seems to be going well!!!

I have to say it drives me nuts when people say that phrase. If my doc said that to me I right now I think I'd claw his eyes out LOL. But that's because my body IS slowing down unfortunately and I can't do much physically so I feel disabled and useless most days. I wish I could just do the housecleaning that needs to be done but I just can't and that really bothers me.

As long as she is still feeling good more power to her! I hope she feels that great through the entire pregnancy!!! Good luck with everything!

Oh and this is my first day off work, YAY! Took 4 weeks vacation and then I'll be out on Dr's orders at 32 weeks. This last week was torture!


Ha...I bet!!!

Yeah...he is a very blunt and straight forward Dr., but I can imagine women's looks he gets..."Uh...hey buddy...you're not the one carrying these things around!!!!!!!!!" Ha.

He is a huge advocate of exercise...daily exercise. He put it well when he said she should think of herself as training for the hardest thing she has ever done...which is true. Lot harder than a Marathon, Triathalon, etc...it isn't just a one day thing. I get her set up on a bunch of Core Exercises and "so far" it has helped with the extra mass she has been having to carry around. The core is essential

 

With my singleton pregnancy, I felt great all the way until the bitter end (bitter because I was so overdue). With this one, I have slowed down pretty much since the day I found out I was pregnant! I think your body is your best guide - it will tell you when you are overdoing it.