When twins don't want to have play dates

Has any one else found that their twins (especially same gender) are not interested in doing activities with other children or having play dates. I can see other 3 and 4 year olds are beginning to crave that peer interaction and play time, but my girls want nothing to do with it.

They have a peer available for play 24-7. I know they are young still (3.5yrs) but I'm imagining them going through school with no friends b/c they just want to play with eachother. Any one else experiencing this and how did you deal with it as your children got older. Did it improve?

 

I take my girls to two different weekly playgroups. They've only recently started playing with the other children, but even then, they still usually are playing with each other first & have someone else come & join them, or at the very least, be within a few feet of each other. If they haven't seen the other for a few minutes they'll leave the other child & go & look for their sister. I'm not too worried about it - I think it's just repeated exposure to new situations, becoming comfortable with those situations & slowly branching out from their comfort zone. I see it happening in small ways & so consider that progress & that they'll discover their independence when they're ready. If it becomes an actual issue in elementary school, the simple solution is to place them in separate classes (which we're planning on doing anyway at some point as I do want them to live & think & function as individuals).

 

I totally agree. My two usually have playdates with my BF's 3 year old boy and they've been around him their whole life. My two have been really shy, even around my BF and her son. It took them a long time to warm up and even though, they mainly played with each other. I am noticing now (at 3 years 9 months) that they starting to come out of their shells little by little. I just keep encouraging them, role playing social situations with them. I also plan to have my kids in separate classes when they start going to school full time. Their preschool is just one class, so they are in the same class right now.

 

I had no friends that had kids my age for the first 3 years of my girls' lives, so they literally had only played with each other. My girls have always played really well together, for hours at a time (I am very blessed!). They could have cared less that there were any other kids around to play with. Just in the past two years have I even taken them to anyone's house to play, and that is my friend's house who has girls about the same age as mine (but that has just been in the last two years). My girls started off as toddlers screaming when a stranger (or anyone for that matter) would even look at them. They were so timid and shy around anyone, but as they got older they really grew out of it. I'd say around the 4.5 mark I saw a huge shift in their personalities; they really began getting curious about other kids and really loved playing with new friends. Preschool was the best thing that we have ever did for them, because they became so independent, and even my shyest (Allison) really came out of her shell. Their preschool teacher, and kindergarten teacher, have both told me that they mostly play with other kids (we choose not to separate). They even tell me who they play with most days, and rarely is it each other. I was worried that they would only play with each other as well, but they really love the other kids and we have had no problem with them branching out. They have (for the first time ever) asked me to invite other kids to their birthday party.

 

my girls were like this up until just recently. they were GLUED to each other at dance class... they liked being around other kids, but would never actually interact with them, just with each other. i noticed at the start of this dance school year that they were a little more independent of each other. also, they just started preschool, and i did ask their teacher if they separate at all, and she told me they are separated almost the entire class! your girls will start to play with the other kids soon!

 

It's perfectly normal at this age. Most 3yo don't really interact with other kids until they are closer to 4, according to what the preschool teacher told us.