When to start grounding

So the kids have been testing boundaries with outside play a lot this week. Yesterday they were playing with the water hose without asking. They were sent to timeout and talked to about it and then they were allowed back outside. Well an hour later they were playing with it again, so inside for the rest of the day.

They are only allowed in certain areas outside. Today I went out and couldn't find them. After a few minutes they walked back to the house and had been where they aren't allowed to go. So inside for the rest of the day.

I'm thinking it's time to start grounding them for these things. I know they are pushing boundaries and playing with slightly older kids isn't helping. But I feel like we need something with more impact. Like being grounded from outside play for the week or something like that.

They are 5.5 and will be 6 in December. I want to discipline with something age appropriate.

Thoughts?

 

I ground my kids. We call it "closing". For example if they kept playing with the hose they would be "closed" to an outside toy (like their bike) or closed to outside play period. I close toys all day long like it's my job lol!

 

For how long are things closed?

They aren't allowed outside for the rest of the day today for going where they aren't allowed. But when is it okay to extend that to a few days or a week?

And I know the general rule of thumb is a minute per age for timeouts, but I feel like they are too old for timeout and have thought about starting to send them to their rooms for X amount of time, maybe half a hour. But I'm not sure it's really age appropriate or not.

I feel like we are on the cusp of moving to more big kid punishments but don't want to jump the gun.

I don't want to be too easy, but don't want to be too hard either. I'm not sure where that transition line is.

 

I was wondering the same thing. Mine are 5 right now. They seem to be affected by the time-outs for now, but at some point, time-outs are going to lose their effect or won't be enough for whatever "crime" was committed. In a way, grounding does happen when they do something the results with something being taken away such as no outside time, but we haven't given it it's name yet (grounded). But, I'm curious when grounding is official. I was grounded when I was younger, but it was pointless. I didn't really have many friends and I wasn't big on socializing much, so I stayed in the house in my room most of the time anyway. Grounding meant little to nothing for me. My brother got control of the one TV we had anyway so it's not like keeping me from watching TV was going to affect me. But, my boys are a lot more outdoorsie and social kids. I have a feeling it will effect them more once they start having friends they call and hang out with. 

 

I've taken away iPod for a week. Mine are 5.5, and they definitely have an understanding of what that means. Jack kept asking if it was Sunday yet. That said, I don't know that it had an impact on behavior at all.

 

Mine have also lost a toy or privileges for a couple of days to a week and had to earn it back by making good choices.

 

Punishment just has to work for the kid.  For Jonathan, we take away electronics--all of them, for about a week, and have done that since 1st grade or so--now I only have to threaten to get a behavior change.  Marcus really doesn't get punished, in that he is a people pleaser, and rarely does something wrong, and is just upset by a correction, and doesn't repeat the behavior.

 

For us time outs and taking away things (toys, electronics) are still working.  If I were to do grounding at this age, I might do it for a day and basically it would be no TV, no electronics, no outside and making it as un-fun as possible, so they would get the message.
I remember being grounded as a kid but I think I was 7 (I remember being grounded a day for every curse word I said.  Me and a friend were in my room just rattling off curse words).

 

My  kids still have a tendency to have all out tantrums, especially when tired. If one of them has a fit, she goes in her room until she calms down whether that's 5 minutes or an hour.
 
That's the closest I've gotten to grounding.

 

We close things for the day. So yesterday JT got mad and hit our kindle he was playing, that got closed along with his leap pad, my phone, and YouTube (he likes to watch four wheelers). He was allowed to have it back this am. I think at this point (almost 5) *I* would lose my mind before they would be affected by a week of punishment!!

 

Thanks for the replies!

Yeah, I think I'd go nuts with a week of no outside play. Today Reagan was inside for the day (going where she wasn't allowed plus talking back yesterday so she lost outside yesterday and today) and at first she was fine but then she complained how bored she was and then just talked nonstop while I was trying to get dinner together. I let her help with dinner and that helped. But jeez!

I hope she learned her lesson at least!

 

I will say we 'close' toys/items/areas/etc. Grounding completely leads to either   1. playing happily in room or reading in bed    2. too much energy and more behavior issues due to need to get outside and run around! Neither changes behavior.
 
Most discipline is done through removal (or not going somewhere) of whatever is causing the problems for X amount of time (right now the next day).

 

I will take away toys or they will lose their "screen privileges" for some length of time.  I have rarely done more than 2 or maybe 3 days, because at this age I just don't think it is that effective for longer periods (and my two are 7).  I will say that one thing I would probably never take away is outside time.  Maybe it is just where I live & we value weather decent enough for the kids to be outside :lol: ,  but it is such a healthy activity that I encourage them to be outside as much as possible & would take away almost anything but that!

 

I agree with Tina, I wouldn't take away outside time, I try to encourage my kids to play outside when the weather is nice (although ours is the opposite problem, being too hot most of the summer).  I do take away screen time, or "electronic" time as we call it.  No kindles, ds's, wii's, tv time. 
 
Right now my oldest 2 are 11 and 7 and neither one has lost privileges for more than a day.  They just don't get into much trouble.  I anticipate more discipline happening as Liam gets older, he's definitely my trouble maker  

 

Honestly, I hate taking away outside time, but that's all they care about. They are outside from the time they get home until it's dark. They come in to get homework done and eat dinner.

We are lucky to have decent weather for the most part. Summers are miserable, but we don't get much of a winter.

So screen time right now doesn't happen by their own choice.

 

HaHa- we dont take away outside time because they NEED it or screentime because they dont use a lot of screens!
 
Usually it is a toy or activity that is 'closed' for use!

 

They broke your trust- maybe no unsupervised outside time would be more appropriate. They can play when an adult is available to supervise them fully. Otherwise they can play inside independently.

I love that your kids play outside so much and wish I had a yard that mine could play in.

 

personally I think grounding at 5 is too big of a jump. I have taken ds, or the computer time away for up to a day with my guys who are 11. I would talk with them and tell them if they can't stay where they are suppose to be then they can't go outside. Is there a way that you can block off the areas they aren't suppose to be in?

 

I have thought about this kind of thing a lot.  we are in the country also. It is great but they will have to be trust worthy to play outside without direct supervision... there are just to many things to get into.
 
 
Grounding seems a little intense to me. I would look for a mid-level punishment... a compromise.
 
For example:
they went where they were not suppose to go. so now, they have to play in x part of the yard (where you can see them from a certain window).  Make the consequences fit the crime.  They can have their freedom back when you can trust them to be responsible for themselves.  If you have to check on them then they have to make it easy for you and be where you can see them.. it is for their safety. 
 
If they break that rule then keeping them inside unless they have supervision would make sense..
 
ETA- 
If I had to be outside to supervise than they would have to make a deal..
help with x chore so I have the time to go outside and sit with them.  I wouldn't term it as a punishment but as a consequence... it is you who is being inconvenienced.
.. well, unless you have a good book you'd like to read in the sun after they help with your chores! lol