when should DH take time off

My mom and stepdad are coming when the babies are born to help with cooking, chores etc. (we have a farm). DH runs a very busy business, 6 days a week. someone suggested yesterday that he should take time off after my parents leave. This was a singleton parent though. What do all you twin moms (and dads) think about this? I would like him to be there at the beginning but I'm not sure which would be more helpful.

 

If your Mom and step dad will be there for awhile I think it would be nice for your DH to take time off after they leave. That way you have help from them at the beginning and then when they leave you can have help from DH. He could take off a few days at first, after the birth to help get things settled, and then go back to work. How long will your Mom and step dad be here, are they actually staying with you?

 

my dh has 2 weeks maternity leave, and my mother and sister will be here for 12 days..

 

Mine is only taking about 2 weeks off after the babies are born. After that, my Mom will be with me for a few days, then my best friend. He was only off a week with my singleton and we did fine.

 

Maybe he could take off a week when they come, and a week after your parents leave? That way he'll have some time to hang out with his brand new DDs, and still be a help to you later.

 

the longer you have help the better - so if DH can take a couple of days while you are in hospital - then take more time when your parents leave that would totally be the best. - I don't mean to scare you but I had to have a c-section and I felt like I had been hit by a train for a couple of months afterwards.
My DH went back to work when my babies were 4 days old and I had no help and no sleep -thank goodness your parents are able to help!! the more help you have the better!!

 

DH & I are also discussing the best time for him to take off. Fortunately, he has 6 weeks available for family leave. He wants to take off soon like before the boys arrival. He works in security and has to wait until he is relieved before he can leave his post. If there were to be an emergency, it could take hours before he could get to me/hospital. He is worried about missing something. Which I must confess I am too. However, I am 32 weeks and haven't had any signs of contractions yet. Doctors say they will scedule c-section (since babies are breeched a & transversed B) at 37 weeks if I haven't delivered yet. That's still 5 weeks away. Not saying that's how long I will go, but i am just worried he will use his time too soon & not have any available time home when the boys come. I want him home if anything should occur, but would rather him be home after the boys arrive. Good luck with whatever you work out!

 

DH was off 2.5 wks after the girls arrival. I loved having him home and wanted him for another week, but couldn't afford it. It was great since I was recovering from a c-section. Next week will be my first week alone with the girls. I do have to admit the more time the better. My MIL has been here a lot too and it has been great help. I am thankful for all the help!!

April

 

My DH had planned to take 2 weeks off. When he went back to work, I brought the babies in for the office to see and while talking to his boss she must have realized that I was a wreck because she asked DH if he needed to take one more week off to help me. It was a huge lifesaver. After that I managed just fine. But I would try to get as much help as possible for at least 3-4 weeks.

Reyna

 

I'll have DH for a about a week after the girls are born, and maybe my sister after that but otherwise I will be on my own.

 

My DH is going to use 6 weeks of paid family leave, and then he should have about 2 weeks of PTO, so a total of 8 weeks. It is important to me that he takes this time off, not just to help me with the babies but so he can have a chance to bond with the babies as well. I cannot wait to have that time as a family. Is there any way that he can do some of his work for his business from home?

 

My dh has two weeks Paternity leave so he will be taking that. My mom and MIL are close they will be helping but I would rather dh help for the first two weeks and then when he has to go back- I can call on the grandmas.

 

My DH took three weeks off. I loved having him there and it was the perfect amount of time. We got into a super routine so that by the time he went back to work, we really felt like we had a handle on this whole parenting twins gig. The plan was for him to go back to work after three weeks and if need be, my mom would take a week or two off to help. But I really did not need her help at that point. So she kept working and would occasionally play hooky so that we could hang out!!!

 

Honestly, I'm probably not in the majority on this one. My twins were born 6 weeks early and were in the NICU for 17 days. DH worked his full-time job while they were in the NICU and just came after work from around 5:30-10:00 to the NICU every night. The first full week they were home, he took off of work. The 2nd and 3rd week, he worked half days a few of those days just to help me out. We didn't have any live-in help in the form of our parents b/c of their work schedules, etc.

My girls SLEPT all of the time....when they weren't eating, they were sleeping and DH and I just sat and stared at each other most of the time. I was READY for him to go back to work b/c we were getting on each other's nerves.

So, we had no outside help and DH worked for the most part. I was fine with this and so was he. It might've been a different story had I already had an older child at home, but we didn't. Also, by the time we brought them home, we had been without my paycheck for 3 months and coudlnt' really afford for DH to take any paid time off (he's the main bread winner anyway)...I ended up going another 3 months without a paycheck.

So, in your situation, since you are giong to have a lot of help anyway....see if maybe DH can work a few half-days while you have help (I'm sure he would like to be around on those first few days home) and then take a week or two off (whatever you are comfortable with) after they leave.

 

After being on here two years I've seen that the average minimum that most people feel comfortable with is 3wks. You just need to figure out when you need him the most. I was in severe pain the first two weeks and really needed dh. Week 3 my sil helped out and that worked for us. However you work it try and get 3wks of help minimum. The first 3wks whether vaginal or csection your body needs rest to recover and take any help you can get. I am THE most anti help person on earth and I was begging for it lol!

 

I don't really have an answer to that...My husband didn't take any time off. he took the day I came home as a half day and that was it. I also have a toddler at home that wasn't even 2 years yet. I think that any woman can do it. We had NO help ever...and still don'. Our twins are 2 and our oldest is almost 4 years. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

My partner took 5 weeks off after the babies came home from hospital. He only really helped for maybe 1/ 1.5 weeks and then spent the rest of the time doing DIY!! I wanted to get used to doing it myself and sometimes it was actually eaiser doing it myself as he had no patience (he is much better now though). His mum came out a couple of nights a week to help as i started having seizures again (i have epilepsy due to lack of sleep) but apart from that we basically did it all ourselves. IMO I think that they should take some time off to 1. bond with the babies and 2. help you out a little as it can be quite stressfull to begin with. You never know you might be comfortable doing it yourself by the time your mum and stepdad leave that he might not need to take time off at all. Good luck with whatever you decide x

 

Honestly - I think your dh should decide. IMO - he is the father and should not be treated simply as "help". If he wants to be with his kids those first days after birth - I don't think he should be denied that.