When one wants everything the other has...

Luke is going through a phase where he wants everything that belongs to Lila. It doesn't matter what it is, if she has it, it must be better than his. Cups, plates, clothes, shoes, toys, food, anything you can think of has become a battleground. Even if I let him pick out something himself, once she chooses something he wants it instead. He wants to wear her clothes & her shoes and today he told me being a boy was no fun & he wants to be a girl. :lol: I don't know what to do with him other than hope it passes soon! She's such a sweetheart that she will often give in & give him what he wants so that he will be happy but I hate for her to always be doing that.

Any ideas?

 

Well, we dont have the girl issue :lol: But Tyler is by far a better sharer than Derek. As soon as Derek squeals for not getting what he wants, Tyler will most of the time give in. I tend to let them work it out on their own. But I do tell them to use their words instead of fighting. Not sure if they hear me over the screaming, but I try. I dont have much advice. I am just kinda there too in our own way.

 

I do timed turns. When one has it and the other one wants it, the one that doesn't have it will say "look at clock" and I'll tell them what time it will be when it is his turn. They are remarkably cooperative with it and it is helping them learn their numbers I can't really let them work it out because I have one dominant twin who will acquiesce all the time and he'll end up with nothing.

 

Mattie is like this and 9 times out of 10 Lauren gives in. It makes me sad for Lauren sometimes. I also try to let them work it out unless there is blood involved. :laughing: Good lukc, if you find a proven technique, please share.

 

Ours do this too. DS takes over everything of DD's. It drives me nuts. I've decided there are certain toys that are hers and she can have them whenever she wants. I don't know if it works well or not, but I think he needs to learn that every toy is not his. He screamed all through dinner tonight because she had something he wanted. grrr.

 

Lauren = taker
Emma = giver

<_<


When it's something that can't be shared/traded, whatever, I let her have her little fit and carry on. When it's something that CAN be shared, we do the same as pp, bring out the timer.

Also, I bought them a calendar for Christmas and each day (Lauren on odd days - baby 1, Emma on even days - baby 2) change the date, day, weather, etc. There have been MANY times I have said "but she did the calendar today, so it's her turn to do _____". It has saved us from dozens of daily arguments!!

 

I've done the time out everytime my daughter stole from her sister. I went away for 6 weeks and my dh didn't keep it up. Now I'm back into it again. Some days like this morning she was tired and was jumping at each new toy her twin sister or baby sister had. The time-out really is good but tiring. Many days I think I'm causing myself more work than is effective. The book 1-2-3 Magic is good for implementing time outs properly.

I posted this question in the "Den " section on this website hoping some twin moms with OLDER children would impart some wisdom, but no luck.

Heather

 

No ideas here. I usually just tell them to share, then walk out of the room and let them fight it out.... LOL Sorry, hope it passes soon!

 

We do the timer thing, actually set a timer and they have to switch...if not willing to switch/share, then the ds goes in time out. You'll be surprised at how fast they catch on, we hardly have any issues any more, and have stopped buying 2 of everything.