When does this craziness end?

I always expected twins to be harder than 1 baby but this...I never imagined. All they do is fight, go in the fridge and in the cabinets, they open all the movies and throw them all over. Bed time is crazy because they think it's a game. My house seems to always be a mess because even if I can get all the toys picked up they somehow all end up back in our living room. I absolutely adore my children but it is tough stuff! I would really appreciate any feedback....crossing my fingers hoping that everyone will say it gets easier.

 

I'd have to say that whether or not it gets easier is largely up to how you react to this behavior. Do you have rules in place about being destructive and consistently follow through on consequences? I think that's the key to nipping it in the bud. Kids have to be given boundaries and made to observe them through consequences. Until they were old enough to be responsible using them (open them for a specific reason, get what they need or put something away, close the cabinet without a mess), we made cabinets off limits. Since movies are kept in a cabinet at our house, this automatically included those, but we would have been quick to make a rule including those if needed. Just recently have they been allowed to open the fridge and that is only when they ask first or we tell them to. Even then, they are only allowed to get out the thing they asked about.

If there are no rules and consequences for breaking them kids aren't necessarily going to just decided to do what you would like them to do unless they get bored with the destruction. And I've seen enough destructive teens and adults to know that doesn't always happen. If you want them to stop doing something you have to take the lead and teach them correct behavior and be willing to follow through when they disobey.

 

I'm with you pink and blue. Life was a lot better when my babygate to the kitchen worked. It's the second one that broke and I can't bring myself to buy a new one at this age - same goes with doing additional baby-proofing. I haven't found a mode of discipline that works for us except for natural consequences. They don't care if I'm angry, they don't care if I say no but I'll tell you, it's a whole lot worse when they are both doing it - they totally rev each other up. Even their very experienced very cool pres-school teacher said that when they are egging each other on, it's very hard to get them to stop.

One thing that I've been trying is when they get into something that I don't want them to do, I say "oh, can you bring Mommy x" (like something from the fridge) and that gets them out of the fridge and interacting with me and working with me instead of against me. It does help (sometimes). This whole discipline/consequences/consistency thing is something I am soooo in favour of. My brother didn't have discipline or consistency and he is a drug addict who completely doesn't understand that his behaviour has consequences (which the system hasn't really taught him either, but I digress). Living with that nightmare is a very powerful motivator for keeping order in our house but order doesn't seem to be had.

For the last few nights I started getting pretty hard assed at bedtimes. If they don't listen to me, I give them 1-2-3 and then I do whatever I wanted to do for them (ie, get into cribs which they like climbing into themselves). Elias bit Ezra (which he has only started doing in the past week and it is baaaad) and I immediately stuck him in his crib. He was hysterical but I didn't budge and I think (hope) he really did learn a lesson. But how does that help when we are somewhere other than their bedroom? Time outs when they aren't physically removed from the situation just doesn't work - they don't care.

Their pre-school teacher told me it gets better at 4. Yikes! That's 1.5 years!

 

I'm right there with ya. Your two are 3 days older than mine!

One thing I learned with the toys anyways- I have one neurotic twin, if I make her clean up with me, she WILL NOT let her other siblings touch the toys to bring them back out! LOL And she will get absolutely hysterical if they do try to touch anything and come running to tell...

Now, as for everything else - we re-implemented the baby gate, but originally not for them. I had to use it to keep the dog confined to the dining room for a period of time, and it had the added bonus of keeping everyone out of the kitchen - and thus out of my cabinets....

Bedtime - they have a specific routine that we do every night and have been doing for over a year now, so I don't get a lot of resistence from them. Somtimes, yes, but not most of the time.

Good luck. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I'm waiting myself...

 

Ummmmm...my boys are 4.5 and this continues Despite all the consistency and discipline in the world, they play rough and fight A LOT. Some days are worse than others (and today was one of those WORSE days). I think one factor is that they need a physical outlet and the weather here in NH hasn't allowed for too much of that recently. Also, as they are getting bigger the house is getting smaller. We are in the processing of finishing our basement so hopefully this helps

So, I just want to let you know that you are not the only one.

 

I have been told the same thing by some friends of mine who have 5 year old twins.

I started using 123 Magic for discipline issues. I would recommend it. It took several months to notice a difference, but now it is pretty effective in our house. Don't get me wrong...twins = craziness, but 123 Magic has helped. I would also recommend re-evaluating your bedtime routine. We have done the same routine since they were babies. Although, it did become a struggle when we transitioned to toddler beds. I had to use the supernanny approach with DS after the transition.

 

Yep, 1-2-3 Magic for discipline worked wonders. We started when they turned 2. My pantry door still has a child proof handle on it and we just recently unlocked the refrigerator and freezer <_< So, if you can, I would babyproof a bit more and make your life a little easier in the meantime until they can comprehend and learn right from wrong.

We still sit in their room at night for them to fall asleep. It is very peaceful and we no longer have the jack in the box issues that we had for months. GL!

 

We're at 4 (just turned) and I'm still waiting. For the most part they are good (we don't have too much trouble with them minding us at home), but now they are starting to get harder when we go out. Tonight was really hard at the restaurant we went to. I couldn't keep them in their seat, couldn't keep them from tapping their forks on the table, playing music with the dishes, putting their fingers in EVERYTHING, turning around talking to EVERYONE, touching MY food, my dh's food, stretching across the table, standing in the chair, whining about their food...I'm tired to say the least and wish we would have just had sandwiches at home.

 

Um, yeah...that's us too. Sorry. Although 3 has been the hardest year for all 3 of my kids by far, so you are just in that phase. My older DD was a tough one from 3 till almost 5. She's still a pistol sometimes, but she can be such a pleasure and helper. My other 2 are just 4.5 and while their chaos is better than last year it is till chaotic most days. I hope that it gets better over the next 6 months like it did for my older one.

 

My twins were like that as well. Now when I think back, it was so bad because it wasn't just one baby doing that it was 2 of them and that made it that much worse. Katie does things but it isn't that bad because there is only one of her. Also with the twins it was worse because they fed off of one another. I can say, it DOES get better.

 

Thanks for all the stories. i am sure glad to know I am not alone. In the last couple of days I have been very consistent with the discipline and it actually has improved. Trust me, it is still crazy but I am hoping like the pp said, they may just have cabin fever. We live right outside of Chicago and its way to cold for them to be outside for long periods of time. 3 more weeks til Spring :yahoo: