When does it get better?

I am a proud father of two little girls. But talk about being hard...I have not slept in forever. Can anyone give some advise here to the new guy...

Everytime I put the one girl down she cries. So sleep is not easy to come by...Do I let her cry for a bit b4 picking her up and if so how long do i let her/them cry for?

How long do I keep them in our room for? I tried to put them in the other room but it seems easier when the pluggy falls out to roll over and just put it back in then get up go down the hall put it in just to have to turn around when I get back to bed.....

Did I mention lack of sleep...LOL...we are having some family help...but I can no longer have a clean house...we are never caught up on dishes or laundry...I assume this is all part of being a twin father....

Did I mention the lack of sleep? L

 

I am a proud father of two little girls. But talk about being hard...I have not slept in forever. Can anyone give some advise here to the new guy...

Everytime I put the one girl down she cries. So sleep is not easy to come by...Do I let her cry for a bit b4 picking her up and if so how long do i let her/them cry for?

How long do I keep them in our room for? I tried to put them in the other room but it seems easier when the pluggy falls out to roll over and just put it back in then get up go down the hall put it in just to have to turn around when I get back to bed.....

Did I mention lack of sleep...LOL...we are having some family help...but I can no longer have a clean house...we are never caught up on dishes or laundry...I assume this is all part of being a twin father....

Did I mention the lack of sleep? L

 

How old are they? I wouldn't let a baby cry if I can help it. Some times that means I have days where I am holding babies or baby because they are fussy. I run through everything - swaddle, rock, diaper, gas, sling etc. If none of that works I just hold them until they fall asleep.

We plan on co-sleeping until atleast a year. If you can't do that try an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. That way, they have their own space but are in arm's reach of you.

And be glad you have help! The house will get cleaned when the babies are older or invest in a sling and pick up the vacuum!

 

LOL..the girls are only 6 weeks..so I think I am still in shock of the entire situation. We just got a sling...and we have been sharing the nights...the wife gets from midnight till 3 and I get from 3 to 6...then i have to get ready for work. The girls are now 8 lbds and almost 6lbs so they are tiny...but man are they a lot of work. We tried for years to get pregnant so to get twins is a great joy...but this is really hard. We have family watching the girls over night this Friday at our house...and we are going to a hotel to get some sleep.....

 

Oh, it is so hard those first few (weeks, months, years, you decide which you can handle right now! )

Hang in there and take all the help you can get. My church offered us meals, we took them up on it and it was the best thing. Have family sit with them when all is quiet so you can truly get some rest while they are sleeping. Keep up on the dang laundry as best you can. It never ends but will slow down after a bit.

Hang in there, it does get easier and a whole lot better!

 

For us it's just beginning to get better. They still don't sleep through, but they only wake twice now and go back to sleep pretty quickly. The first few weeks really is a blur, no matter how much you read up about twins you're never really prepared for what it's like. it does get easier as you get to know them and their habits start to develop. It makes life slightly more predictable!
If it makes you feel any better, the first 3 months have gone by so fast. You will survive. Just remember this phase is temporary. Before you know it they'll be off to college!

 

I thought we would never survive but they will be 6 months this month and it has flown by. I would say they started to get easier to deal with around 4 months. They were sleeping through the night and we kind of had a routine down. Hang in there it gets better.

 

Every day. It gets better every day. The rule of 3 helped me. 3wks, 6wks, 9wks. 3mos, 6mos, 9mos. Each is a milestone. You've hit the first two - just "make it" to 9 wks, then you know you just have to make it to 3 mos, etc... Pretty soon, you'll have a couple of 3 year olds on your hands and wonder how you can get them to be as sweet as they were at 3 weeks! (Although, at least when they are 3 you can get sleep)

 

Not trying to cause controversy but no method reccommends any baby crying it out this young. They cry out of need and at this age, they NEED to eat in the middle of the night. I'm only saying this because I'd hate for someone to let their 2 week old go hungry just for sleep...

 

quote:
Originally posted by Blanca: I would tell her I have twins not one baby and if I start picking them up everytime they cry I would not get anything done or even make me something to eat. .... You cannot pamper them all day long becuase that would be the only thing they want. It is tuffer then it looks like.


Just giving the opposite side of this... I don't spoil babies. I think the only way to spoil a kid is to give them whatever they want, just ask my 7 year old! I hold my babies 75% of the time. But when I need to put them down, I can. Babies are not greedy if they cry to eat, they are hungry, IMHO. They are this small for only so long, so get your cuddles in before they are too cool to hug their parents. Some days, I don't have three minutes to eat lunch. Other days, I do. I'd rather cuddle a baby (and complain about it later) then to make them wait. My only suggestion is do what works for you.

I really like the suggestion of looking at it in terms of milestones. Just think, soon they'll be too big to both be in your lap at the same time!

 

I agree with Erykah - I would not let them cry -
I breastfeed and so mine are up ALOT! my house has suffered but I
sleep when they sleep- and my husband works outside the home so I
would take the night shift by myself even if I bottlefed. the house
can wait - just get some rest while you can!

 

We were told if they cry at that age they need something!

As far as it getting better I wish I knew the girls will be 6 months next week and I am still waiting.

 

The rule of 3s sounds good! Seriously, do not let those babies cry at 6 weeks old. Although my girls are 9 months old and I still can't let them cry! You will know when the time is right to move them out of your room and all of that good stuff. Just know it does get better and it DOES go by so super fast. I'm so sad that my girls are 9 months old already Yeah, I'm thrilled that they seem to do something new every other day, but oh how I wish I could go back even for 10 minutes and snuggle my newborns all over again. I know it's hard, but try to enjoy each and every minute. In the meantime, we're here for ya!

 

quote:
Seriously, do not let those babies cry at 6 weeks old.

Ditto! Way too young!

 

Gosh, could dh have written that post 6 months ago, LOL!! It will get better, each week, really!!! I thought the first 4 months were the hardest, with a HUGE improvment at 4 months. Little improvements at 2 and 3 months- I don't want to scare you ,just to be honest

Whenever they cry I think about how we tried for a long time to have them (IVF) and that we wanted them, not the other way around. They just want to be loved and that doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. That being said there WILL be times that you can't take care of them both at the same time and they have to cry, that is NOT CIO. That is the life of twins, now if you CHOSE to let them cry then that is CIO and not recommended at this age.

Kristi
Molly and Zach 7 months

 

Congratulations and Welcome!!!

For a few months you are beholden to your crier to help her in any way possible. It can be really hard!! (If you have to go to the bathroom and she has to cry for a couple of min. cut yourself some slack!)

Try holding her in different positions, use the swing and the bouncy if possible.

I kept mine in the room till 3 mos. and then they were out! It was awesome!! No one tells you that they sound like little farm animals and you aren't going to sleep because they are noisy little beings )

Don't worry about a clean house. Use the family for that right now. Oh...don't cook! Take out!!!

You will turn a corner of sorts at around 3 mos. I hope it's sooner for you, but that's usually the earliest. Believe it or not, you'll become a high functioning non-sleeping person.

I used to hit the couch the min. they fell asleep. 20 min. can do you a world of good!

 

I am like pp, mine are ~9 months and I still don't let mine cry. If mine cry, it means they need something (IMO) even if it is just a hug. I have one that will put herself to sleep (naps and night) with no fussing or tears. I have another who will NOT go down without singing and strolling. This is the beauty of twins (much like having two children LOL) they are different and you need to figure out each temperment and personality.

It sounds like your crier will have you up for a few more weeks/months but hang in there, it does get better. 6 Months was the golden mark for us. When you get frustrated, take a minute and think of how long you waited and just how precious they are! It goes really fast and gets much better, I promise!

 

Hi,

First off Congratulations Your girls are about the same age as our babies. My DD does the same thing you are saying one of yours does. She will be perfectly content sleeping and then the second I lay her down in the crib she screams. I think its the shock from being held to the open space that scares her. So This is what I've started to do. I pick her back up and cuddle her until she calms back down but is still awake. Then I put her back down and leave the room. She will usually Fuss for a few minutes and then fall back asleep. If she does start crying I will let her for a minute or two any longer than that then I will go back in and do the same thing. I completely agree with PP when a baby that young cries its because they need something. Their bellies are so little they need to eat often and I could not even imagine allowing my babies to cry themselves back to sleep for 30 min just so I could sleep.

Babies are people too and they didnt ask to be here you chose for them to be here. Unlike us they cannot simply get up and go eat when they are hungry. Honestly I would go hungry before letting them. If a baby cries and I am hungry I may take a few seconds to grab a snack to eat while feeding them but I could not even imagine sitting down to eat a meal while my babies are crying because they are hungry. Sorry But that just makes me sick to think that some people could do that.

I'm sorry for going on and on. Hopefully I atleast somewhat answered your question.

 

I feel for you, but I'm speaking from experience here... it gets better! I just hit the 9 week mark with set #2 and already see a big improvement with sleep.

My biggest recommendation is to read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and follow it religiously. I did this with my first set and they are excellent sleepers still. They are a little over two and sleep 12-13 hours at night and also take a 1.5-2 hr nap in the afternoon. They actually ASK me to go to bed. I have no bedtime hassles that I have seen with other family members of mine. I was a little leary of the early bedtimes he suggests, but they work. I think you can start his sleep training around 3 months or so.

As for sleeping in the same room, it wasn't for us. We kept them in our room for about 6 weeks, now they are in their own room and we're all sleeping a little better. They are still up 1-2x at night, but the feeds are quicker and they are going back to sleep easier.

Hang in there, soon you'll be sleeping again!!!!!

Crystal

 

it seems like just yesterday i was asking that question. Time will fly and you will be saying, "remember when..."

people always said around month 4 it gets better and i remember thinking that 4 months will never come. Every day got better with a few bumps in the road. Mine still dont sleep though the night but it is amazing how your body gets used to little sleep. However, during those early weeks, you do need as much sleep as possible so please take advantage of napping and having people come so that you can sleep.

Also, i had to think of those who had toddlers and then twins. When i thought of those people, I realized I could do it.

Before you know it, their little personalities will be coming out and they will be a blast! Best of luck

 

It will get SO MUCH better! You sound exactly like I did at that time period, it was so hard I wondered what I had gotten myself into, and I had non-stop help for the first 5 weeks!

I never let mine cry and now at only 3 months they are sleeping 11-12 hours at night. I just keep to a really tight 3 hour sleeping schedule during the day and whenever they woke up at night. I also am very consistent with everything I do, and the nighttime routine is a must for us. I will say that I bottle feed and use Enfamil AR due to reflux and think that has something to do with them sleeping so good through the night, I would think they would still be waking at some point if they were on the breast (not advocating bottle feeding, I couldn't breast feed).

Good luck to you! This is the best place to vent, ask questions, etc. It saved me!

 

It got better around 8 weeks (they started sleeping 3-4 hours at a time instead of 2 hours, and going back to sleep a bit quicker). It got a lot better around 4 months (sleeping at least one 5 or 6-hour stretch).

DH and I took turns sleeping on the couch while the babies slept in the dining room. That way one of us could be "on duty" and the other could get some actual sleep in our bed.

The lack of sleep is a total killer. Be nice to each other and keep a sense of humor (as much as possible). It will end someday and you'll find your head above water!

 

First of all, congrats on your twins!!! DH and I also tried for a long time (if 5 years is considered long ) Anyway, once they come you are so over joyed to have them finally there for you to love and to make you a family that you almost feel guilty for complaining but PLEASE complain away!! It's really really tough. Especially the first couple of months. Like everyone said, it does get easier but yada yada yada that doesn't help you NOW when you are sleep deprived and just barely able to hold on yet you have to cause you gotta take care of your little sweeties.

My only (hopefully helpful) suggestion I can make is PAPER PLATES AND PLASTIC CUPS!!! We get the big plates, the small plates and even the bowls. Unless money is an issue or you are an extreme environmentalist, it save a whole lot of dish doing. If you belong to Sams Club or Costco or B.J.s or one of those, it's worth it to buy the big packages of those. We still use them!

Oh yea, like all pp said, at this age, don't let them cry! They are still developing a sense of security that you will be there for them when they cry. Just remember, it's their ONLY way to communicate so it can mean any number of things. Don't know if you watch the Oprah show but there apparently is a woman from Australia (I think) who has broken the code to baby's cries. If you listen very carefully to the kinds of sounds they make, you can decode exactly what it is they need.

Neh=I'm hungry
Owh=I'm sleepy
Heh=I'm uncomfortable
Eiah=I have gas
Eh=I need to burp

Let me know if it works! If it does, MAYBE I will have another baby