When do you start to feel somewhat normal?

I know this probably doesn't happen until they are like 18 or something but seriously I have been having moments of being down lately. Post-partum depression 13 months later <_< I think it's starting to hit me that they aren't going anywhere (joking) but seriously I am wiped. I don't seem to have energy or interest in much anymore. I am an optimistic person, I try and keep things in perspective but WTF?? This is nuts. They want or need something ALL the time and then there is the planning of meals. I am just pooped from going to the grocery store ALL the time and planning their meals. I think my kids eat too well

I get a few hours to myself per week, help most days and my kids are at home with a mom or mother-iw-law when I go to work 2x/week- so i don't deserve to complain a whole lot but I am wiped most of the time and just can't get myself out of this funk. I hope I am not alone. I just want to feel like a woman with interests and energy again. That doesn't seem to be happening AT ALL.

Any advice or just words that I am not alone?? !!

 

Oh you are not alone. I feel the same way most days. I drive a school bus so I do get out also but when I am here it is a constant go go go. All my energy goes toward them and their constant needs. So you are not the only one feeling it. I'm just waiting on it to get easier.

 

You are so not alone. I feel the same way. Lately, the girls aren't taking naps at the same time, and any moment I get to myself (I take an extra long time in the bathroom when my husband gets off work even!) is glorious. I don't want to ruin that free time by doing things that need to get done, so chores have just been piling up. I, too, can't seem to stay on top of meals. I teach college twice a week, so I do get some time away, but it still feels so incredibly overwhelming.

I've found that going out with my best friend once a month (dinner and a movie) helps immensely. During our "date" I feel wonderful, and the feeling usually carries over to the next day a little bit. I usually leave right after the girls go to bed. It's not much but it is nice.

 

i felt like i was getting back to myself a bit more around 18 months. nothing really changed, i just think things leveled out a bit more for me.

also, i did want to say to not dismiss the possibility of PPD - if you're feeling like something's off, it would be worth talking to your doc about. moms of multiples are at higher risk of PPD for a longer time than singleton moms.

anyway, you're definitely not alone - toddlers are draining. :hug:

 

I agree with Rachel, do not discount the possibility of PPD. Toddlers can be very tiring...especially at the age your two are now...I know when my two were that age, they were tantruming a lot, going through teething and just the toddler growing pains at that time. It was tiring and emotionally and mentally draining. You are not alone :hug:

 

I totally hear you. I'm in grad school part-time, so I have lots of help most days of the week so that I can get my work done, but I'm still pooped most days! And since my boys can't eat anything with soy, prepping their meals is even harder and I have to be very careful.

Like a pp said, don't discount talking to your doctor. I started taking a low-dose antidepressant around Thanksgiving and it has REALLY helped.

Also, don't I remember from another post that you just returned to work recently? That is definitely an adjustment. The first few weeks of going back to my grad program were very overwhelming and stressful, but a month later, I feel I am settling in and learning how to juggle everything. Try not the be hard on yourself - twins are hard, especially at this age! Some days my boys are SO clingy that is wears me out!! Hang in there. :youcandoit: :grouphug:

 

Hi - wow, I could have written this. It really does keep getting easier (my kids are almost 2) but I still feel exhausted a lot. Chores are piling up while I sit on the couch too tired to move once the kids are in bed. Like right now. LOL I finally gave up and saw my Dr. about it and he has just prescribed a low dose antidepressant. I haven't been on it long enough to feel any effects but am hoping it will help and I can get some of my energy and normal happiness back. Don't feel bad about going to your Dr and talking about it if you don't feel like yourself- he told me it is very common after pregnancy.
I agree with the PP I think it really does help to get out with friends and get a real break (outside of work and taking care of the kiddos!) and don't be hard on yourself, being a parent is hard work (well worth it of course) but it probably makes sense that we are tired!

 

I think the boys were about 18 months when I started to really notice that they were getting easier. The boys required less of my time and they would start to play. It was nice. I work 40+ hours a week and that is my time to breathe. But I too feel that I am too tired to clean the house. Really the only thing that gets done it: laundry, meals and dishes. We have a lawn guy and I am hiring a cleaning lady.

I have started to take a mood enhancer and I do think it works! talk with your dr!

good luck,
jenn

 

I find this second year much harder in so many ways than the first. Add me to the "drained" and "constantly complaining" group-)) Some days I just suck it up...but there are the days, when every little bit of my existence is against running to the next task...lol
It'll get better, I know. But the constant picking up, planning meals, trying to catch up with housework, playing with two toddler and working is a whole lot...
There'll be the time, when we think fondly of this phase....just not quite there yet....
I don't think you are depressed, I think you are tired, running in circles and you think you cannot make a break out of it, even if you want to.
Go on a date night....do something fun for yourself....have a cup of coffee/glass of coctail with your best friend...all these will help you feel normal again...

 

You've seen my posts...I'm with you . I had PPD with my son and was so happy not to deal with it after the girls but starting at around 12 months I just felt like I could no longer keep it together and thought the same as you "really PPD at 12 months?". I think for me I thought things would be different once I made it to this point and it's harder!!!

The girls are finally sleeping better so over the last week I have regained a bit of my energy but honestly having 2 babies is insane...it's nothing like one. Now that they are staring to walk they are into EVERYTHING...I have baby gates everywhere and they still manage to get into stuff. Things my son never touched they are finding, climbing, opening, eating...etc. They take sooo much of my time and energy.

I have made a good group of "twin mommy" friends and they have helped a lot. Have you looked into multiples groups in your area? You might be able to find more resources and support through them. Honestly, this is hard. I can't believe you're working too...I can't even imagine throwing that into the mix right now.

I hope you start feeling better soon and that someday this gets easier for all of us .

 

It was around 17 months that things with the twins got easier, but sdly for me I was 7.5 months pregnant. Then when the twins turned 19 months months I had our newest bundle of joy. SO for me just when the twins got easier and so much more fun I added another baby to the mix. By the time all three of them go to bed at night I don't even care if I eat dinner much less clean anything. I am about to start a cleaning lady every two weeks just so I know that my house is getting really clean twice a month. Laundry piles up, because it is impossible to do laundry with twins that can climb and reach everything you have just folded. I just chalk up to the triles and tribulations of twin mother hood. One of my friends made me feel better the other day by saying....any mother with three small children that has a clean house scares the bejeezus out of me. I thought that was too funny.

I agree with talking to your doc about getting some medication. I just made a phone call to the nurse at the O.B. office and they called in an anti depressant for me. Just know that you are not alone in the feeling of complete exhaustion. It does get better (as long as you don't add another baby to mix too early)

 

I agree with PPs - please go and see your doctor, talk to her and have a check-up. My lowest point was around 12-14 months, a few months after I went back to work. I was so off (drained, constantly losing my calm to tears or anger, not enjoying anything much anymore) my DH and I suspected late PPD or burn-out. Well, the doctors took my issues seriously and found thyroid trouble (apparently caused by all the hormonal havoc a twin pregnancy and breastfeeding etc. can cause in some women); now, after a few months on the pretty harmless medications, I feel so much better.

It is not a question of whether you are "entitled" to feel down, everyone's body and mind are different and react differently to all the challenges of the last 2 years. Please do not feel guilty. Twin toddlers are wonderful and exhausting at the same time.

GL!

 

"I just want to feel like a woman with interests and energy again. That doesn't seem to be happening AT ALL."

Wow, I was seriously thinking of posting something like this myself...this morning! You said it, sister! And no, you are not alone. I also get breaks (well, SOME), and have a very supportive hubby and family. But I definitely feel like I have sort of lost myself over the past 18 months being a SAHM. Our girls are SO good, and SUCH a blessing...I HATE to feel like I have lost myself just because I am caring for them. But, alas, some days I DO.

My hubby and I just had a conversation the other day where he was hoping I could just find out what it is I want or need. And i really don't know the answer to that anymore. The only thing I could come up with is that I want to get back to playing soccer again this summer. I played all growing up, and in college, and haven't played in years. I do miss it...but is that the answer to getting the old me back? Seems silly...and trivial. Even when I have breaks from the girls, my down time is about the girls. Shopping for diapers, food, getting out of the house to go to the mall to think about what else they might need, etc.

I also realized this morning that I think I am just LONELY. I am part of a mom's club, and have a few friends. But that is all about the girls...While it is nice to get out and do things, I can't really MINGLE with people because I am chasing two 18 month olds around! And my husband has been working CRAZY hours for work. He'll work all day, have dinner with us, play, do baths, help put the girls to sleep, and then go back to work. I know he doesn't WANT to go back to work, but he is crazy busy and has to. So, there's me...alone again for a few hours before I go to sleep. Then it starts all over again.

Geez...I'm not really helping you here, am I? Just want you to know you aren't alone. I'm really hoping that when spring and summer come, that will chase some of these winter blues away. There's no shame in hoping, right??

Good luck to you!!

 

I suffered from depression on and off for 7 yrs before I got pregnant so I was really worried about PPD. I kept a good watch on it and so did my DH. Around the boys 18month "bday" it hit me...hard. Once they turned two I was steady on meds and life was back to normal!!! Talk to your dr. and make sure your family helps you look for signs of improvement. :youcandoit:

 

I would press your doctor to have your thyroid levels check- and not just the TSH but the T3 and T4 stuff too. I was feeling overly tired, exahusted and turns out it is my thyroid. When you have twins your body works super hard, then once you give birth, your hormones can get totally messed up. Add to it any birth control hormones you may or may not have and it is a big opportunity for things to get messed up. Just have things checked out and be your own advocate.

 

I think for me we've reached a point where they are toddlers and can wait and I feel like I'm waking up from a coma of newborns. I feel like I put myself 2nd (or 3rd) when they were newborns but am starting to realize that they are not newborns anymore and I'm getting myself back. I want to figure out who am I am again, too. I have good friends who I go out with sometimes, but I think I'm ready for some physical and intellectual stimulation again. So I'm thinking maybe a yoga class or cake decorating or even a Bible study might be it for me. I just want to be Michelle, not the mother of the twins, sometimes. I will say that I'm starting to make some friends through my MOPS group which I find really fun, but it's very Mom oriented, so it doesn't fill the void for me of personal development.

 

Oh I feel ya I really do!!! I'm not there yet sadly either. I would definitely talk to your doc, you would be amazed how much the right medication can help you to feel more back to yourself if that is what's needed. Also there is a mental health sub forum here (just pm a certain person for access I believe) and you could get some more help there too if you end up taking that route.

I hope you start feeling better soon! At least you know you are not alone!!!

 

I felt like that too..on meds now and all is good

 

You are definitely not alone. I don't think talking to your doc can hurt-- just to be sure-- but so many of us have similar feelings that it seems fairly commonplace. I don't think this time of year helps either. Like all of us, I adore my LOs, but I feel like I live 100% for other people right now. I desperately miss having a life outside of my children.
I, too, feel like ALL I DO is plan meals, make meals, pick up half of what I made off the floor after meals, do dishes, naptime, bedtime, bathtime, .... it gets extremely tiring and monotonous, especially when the LOs are uncooperative.
I am a SAHM right now (previously a workaholic) and while I'm happy that I have been able to do this, it is certainly not something I can do long-term.
I have been on my DH's case lately, much more than is typical for me, and I know it's my own frustration and not the fact that he put pots in the dishwasher that I asked him to hand wash .
Anyway, I do hope it gets better-- more enjoyable-- for us all as the LOs get a little older.

 

Thanks ladies!! I really appreciate your kind words, support and advice . I think I am lonely for non-mommy interaction and like many of you have said thus far everything seems to rotate around the kids and their needs, even my freetime outings! I think I need to try and take things less seriously and LET go a bit!! Easier said then done anyways I will see how things go and will certainly consider going to the doc if I don't feel better! Hugs to all of you

Thanks ladies!! I really appreciate your kind words, support and advice . I think I am lonely for non-mommy interaction and like many of you have said thus far everything seems to rotate around the kids and their needs, even my freetime outings! I think I need to try and take things less seriously and LET go a bit!! Easier said then done anyways I will see how things go and will certainly consider going to the doc if I don't feel better! Hugs to all of you

 

My kids are older than yours, but I can relate to your post. I do think it gets "easier" over time. I'm not depressed (discussed with MD and therapist), but the daily grind of being a SAHM to toddler twins is a lot. We have no family in the area and my husband goes through spells where he works a lot. I take them to a mom's morning out program 2 x a week (a lifesaver!). It's 3 hours long, and I end up spending my time running errands and doing things for the kids. It's helpful to connect with other twin moms, but it's still all about the kids and being a mom. I miss "me." I used to have a successful career and a lot of personal goals. Now, almost all of my life is geared toward the twins. Over time, I've realized I need to change the balance fairly soon. I've started to look for part time work, but I'm going to wait until I find a good match. I will probably enroll them in preschool sometime this year, but I would prefer to be working before I do that. I also found a drop in daycare center near us. My DH has to work this weekend, so I'm going to take them there for a few hours to get a break.

I still try to play a little tennis on the side, and usually go out to eat with a friend maybe twice a month (non kid related). I do think it's important to fit in a little "me" time here and there. I'm still waiting to take my spa day my husband owes me from Christmas!

Anyway, good luck and hang in there. It's really helpful to hear some other people have some of the same feelings!!

 

You are so not alone but i bet you feel like you are, I totally understand where you are comeing from. Me i have been stuck in this house all winter long and it sucks lol. It seems like when i stopped working i am a cosmotologist and i loved my job and loved talking to people than the twins came i lost all my friends and noone asks me to do anything anymore which kind of makes me sad. Soooo i have kind of been really down lately alot to,so me and my husband try to go do things with the kids alot just so we both get out of the house. I can tell you one thing that has really helped me and to get some me time is i have started excersing every other day when my husband comes home. It has made me feel really good and more energy sleeping better and makes me feel good to know that i am doing something for myself and that it will give me more energy to be more active with the kids outside when it gets nice out. Just know your not alone cause i feel like that alot everyone asks i dont know how you do it and i always say i dont either lol! Oh and i to take deppresion medication it took me a couple diffrent ones to figure out what worked but it deff has helped me out alot!

 

Thank you for all your support! I know I am not depressed, Just going through a bit of a funk! I am feeling better, exercising, seeing friends lately has really helped. I think also accepting that certain aspects of our lives are permanently changed and that is ok . That acceptance is the key and finding a new balance is a challenge but a work in progress !!! Hugs to all if you on the same journey!