When do they learn to sit through a meal?

I know many of you have said you go out to dinner often and your kids always sit through the meal -- more power to you, but that sure ain't happening for us! So if your toddlers had a phase where dinner lasted 5 minutes, tops, when did it get better?

Maybe I'm delusional if I think this is going to happen anytime soon -- but I'm just wondering when we'll be able to go out to dinner or to a friend's house and not spend the whole time chasing after our kids. I guess I'd settle for, if not actually sitting at the table, at least playing nearby in a nondestructive fashion.

 

Mine are a few months younger than yours but I know what you mean. They are the WORST at meal time. It's such a struggle to get them to eat and they absolutely HATE being in their chairs. BUT...this weekend we decided to take them out to eat (they weren't eating well anyway and we were at our wits end) and they did fabulous! They actually ate and enjoyed themselves and ate and ate and ate! I was the one who had to say ok let's go. DH and I were anticipating the worst so we scarfed down our food and asked for the check right after the food came! They sat for over an hour! Mind you they had three tables of people making faces at them and talking to them. Then we did it again Sunday with the MIL and they did it again! Of course the next day at home they were back to their normal whiny state. Don't know if this helps or not, but if you haven't tried it maybe they'll surprise you!

 

For us, it is something we continue to train on. They say, "all done, all done" (25 million times, as if we were deaf) and we say, "ok, good, here wipe your hands and your face with this washcloth but you need to sit here until mommy and daddy are done eating. you need to wait. " Sometimes that's 1 min and sometimes it's 10 min. but it's a matter of training for us. We have them tell stories, and listen to ours; they practice folding their hands, folding the washcloth, wadding the napkin. The big thing is trying to keep them seated and not standing up in their chairs.

 

One thing that I have managed to do is have my children restaurant trained. I do not let them out of the high chairs unless the meal is over and the check is taking forever or something like that. Then I'll let them out and take them to the car or the waiting area and wait for DH to pay. That's pretty rare though.
I no longer ask for their food to come first, because then they are done eating way before we are. Sometimes if they are restless I'll get bread or crackers. Usually the crayons are enough to keep them amused. If they finish their food before we do, we give them stuff off our plate. My girls tend to dawdle when eating, so we normally finish all at the same time. Stuff on the table keeps them amused, like the pictures of featured items, stuff like that.
The only house we've eaten at really is my parents' house. They do pretty good at larger family meals. At meals at home, they have to stay in their seats until DH and I are done, so I guess they are used to it. I don't know, I guess just try building up their tolerance at home.

 

They truly love going out and they do much better at restaurants than at home. They watch people and eat different food and it's a huge treat so it wasn't really a matter of teaching them to sit still. We do use the restaurant highchairs with the seatbelts securely fastened to remind them to stay put.

 

QUOTE(p31heather @ Aug 29 2007, 02:29 AM) [snapback]384308[/snapback]
They say, "all done, all done" (25 million times, as if we were deaf)


:rotflmbo: Totally!

Yes, I guess we need to work on it gradually. They actually do better at restaurants (we've tried it maybe 5-6 times) and at other people's houses, because it's something different, but we're still lucky if DH and I can shovel down a meal and share a beer before they're both hollering "All DONE!" and trying to undo the high chair straps. I've tried saying "You need to wait till Daddy and I are finished," but I guess my voice lacks conviction (because they know I don't actually expect it).

 

QUOTE(Minette @ Aug 29 2007, 03:47 AM) [snapback]384390[/snapback]
I guess my voice lacks conviction (because they know I don't actually expect it).


yep i know what you mean. i say one thing and then have to ask DH to back me up sometimes. they want to be independent. what irks me is that they will say all done and if we let them down to play then they want to crawl up into our laps and eat our food. UM, that MY FOOD. (oh well my new diet plan is now in place -- kids eat my food, I eat, well, almost nothing)

 

Mine also do much better at resturants than at home. I have given up forcing them to eat.

 

My boys do great at restaurants with a few considerations:

*Not expecting them to be able to wait patiently much longer than about 10 minutes before the meal begins. If we get there in the middle of the dinner rush I'll try to distract them in the waiting area or wander around outside if possible before sitting them down. Other times I use goldfish. I'm excited for when we're old enough to use instead of eat the crayons.

*We DO order them something right away. Either some mac n cheese, or a plate of rice and beans. Then, when our dinner comes they eat off our plates too. They usually have incredible appetites at restaurants, and even when they don't the ambiance is a welcome distraction...they love good people watching (and, in general, the people love watching them too).

*Go somewhere with a lot of atmosphere, like Red Robin or Ruby's - both have trains randomly going around the ceiling. I try to keep it somewhere family friendly so our noise is drown out among the general atmosphere.

*I try not to leave an enormous tornadoe trail when we're done; but we leave a generous tip...especially to those wait folks who understand and are genuinely making an effort for us to have an efficient meal. We went to a great Italian place once ( a stretch for our "atmosphere rule"), and our waitress came by and borrowed (with permission) one of the boys and carried him around the restaurant showing him off to other patrons/staff while I scarfed down my meal. It was such a nice gesture. We left a huge tip for her b/c it was the first hot meal I had been able to enjoy without playing Beat-The-Clock in...um, 17 months!

I say go for it! Also, try some car-sized Magnadoodles (Target).

 

We stopped going out to eat with the boys at around 15 months. At around 3 we started going again, sometimes. It got better and better after that, and now we can actually go out with them and expect them to sit and behave for an entire meal (we're not talking 5-course fancy, just eating at a diner or pizza place). There were obviously family dinners that we HAD to take them to, and because we did it so rarely, those were often surprisingly good, but between 1-3 years, my boys just couldn't sit still that long, and me or my husband had to be up walking around out front of the restaurant with them.

Anyway, one thing that helped was making a rule at our home dinners: you have to either be in your seat or in your room alone. They never wanted to be alone in their room while the rest of us were at the table, so they'd make an effort to stay. That helped them "get" the whole concept of dinner and what was expected, and to learn to sit for longer at the table.

Hang in there and, if I were you, I'd take a break from going out. It will get better in not too long, and it's worth the wait!