When do I stop?

Okay, so I reached the end of my rope and went to a modified CIO approach, even though I hate the idea and will always look back on this decision as a place where I wasn't the mommy I wish I could have been (Don't bother trying to reassure me. I've heard all of the rationalizations and they ring really hollow to me. I've made my peace with the fact that this was basically a selfish decision that I had to make.)

But I need to know when to throw in the towel. In general, it seemed to work well. Alicia now goes down without trouble most of the time, but we are now 50 minutes into the third nap this week that Celeste has cried all the way through. We are a little more than 2 weeks into this -- I steeled myself for the crying and made it through the first days, but this is ridiculous. None of the books talk about this much crying lasting this long and I feel absolutely terrible. Did anyone else have this happen? What am I supposed to do now? (THIS was my last ditch solution -- I don't have anything else!)

Kim

 

Okay, so I reached the end of my rope and went to a modified CIO approach, even though I hate the idea and will always look back on this decision as a place where I wasn't the mommy I wish I could have been (Don't bother trying to reassure me. I've heard all of the rationalizations and they ring really hollow to me. I've made my peace with the fact that this was basically a selfish decision that I had to make.)

But I need to know when to throw in the towel. In general, it seemed to work well. Alicia now goes down without trouble most of the time, but we are now 50 minutes into the third nap this week that Celeste has cried all the way through. We are a little more than 2 weeks into this -- I steeled myself for the crying and made it through the first days, but this is ridiculous. None of the books talk about this much crying lasting this long and I feel absolutely terrible. Did anyone else have this happen? What am I supposed to do now? (THIS was my last ditch solution -- I don't have anything else!)

Kim

 

Kim, it was around this time, with all my kids, that they started to drop one of their naps. It could be that Celeste just does not want any more sleep.

Is this happening just during naps? If it is not happening any other sleep time, it may be she just wants to play.

I would give up the nap, with Celeste only tho, Alicia is sleeping, so she must still want/need it. See how it goes for a few days. I know it means that they are on slightly diff. schedules, but if she does not need it, there's no point in forcing it.

Good Luck!

 

We never did three naps a day, mine just seem to get by with less sleep. Carter was always up for naps from like 4-8 months. Then he finally got it. Knock on wood.

Good luck, sleep stuff drives everybody nuts.

 

Oops -- my language seems to have been unclear. She was crying for the third time this week during a nap, not during the 3rd nap of the day (although she does usually take 3 -- that's because she often only naps for 45 minutes at a time). The crying usually happens during the 1st or 2nd nap -- the 3rd is generally no problem.

And she is definitely tired. This morning at the end of our nap routine (which ends with a brief walk and singing) she had her head down on my shoulder and was making that low, rumbling moan noise that she often makes before sleeping.

Kim

 

I would start tweaking your nap times a little. I also wouldn't let her cry for more than an hour at nap time. I would move their nap by about 15 min. and see if that helps her go down easier. It might be hard for Alicia to stay up those extra 15, but you can try (I did this to keep them together!!! It was really important that they sleep at the same time and not one after the other - no break was NOT good!) and see what happens.

(I made the selfish decision too and I have GREAT sleepers, so was it really that selfish? )

 

I actually gave up trying to get my DS to nap at this point. He only naps about 30 min, 2x a day. Then there are days (when there's a lot going on like when we have company) that i will try to put him down for his 2nd nap and he would just scream and cry while standing up. So i would bring him back down to play and he would be fine. Maybe a couple of hours later, he'll fall asleep by himself. In the meantime, DD has a very structured nap schedule...i love having twins!

 

Sounds like the same thing I went through with my DD awhile back. I was at my wits end as to what to do. I tried letting her cry it out one day, and even gave her some tylenol the next day thinking maybe she was teething. The third time I tried feeding her thinking she was hungry. Funny thing is she went back to normal napping the next day and has been napping fine since. It may be a growth spurt, or just one of those unexplained things that they do. HTH!

 

Here is my situation - you may find something similar to yours and hope as a result. Chloe has always been a good sleeper, Bryce, NOT. We promised ourselves we wouldn't do CIO, but he got so reliant on walking, rocking to sleep and it would take forever, that something had to give. I was back to working full time and after all the shenanigans we had to do to get him to sleep at night, we had no time to get basic things done like wash bottles or baby laundry before collapsing ourselves. He was not sleeping through the night either. I thought something was medically wrong with him, but there was not per our pedi. He recommended CIO and out of desperation for sleep ourselves, we relented.

We tried CIO for a few nights and it was absolutely terrible. There was no improvement each night over the course of 5 nights. It was basically the same intensity and length of screaming each night. It was not good for him and it was not good for us. Even after he finally fell asleep, he would still wake during the night a lot. My instinct was right that this was not for us.

I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution and it just didn't feel structured enough for me. If it ain't structured, I will not follow through.

Then I met the Sleep Lady . I bought her book and have only recently begun to enact it. We had a series of back to back illnesses between them both, surgery for Chloe, you name it we had it over the past two months, so we co-slept up until last Saturday night. They were both healthy and had been sleeping well with me so it was time to start anew and get them back in their cribs.

I have been following the Sleep Lady to the rule since Saturday night. The first night was tough - and they did cry alot, but I followed her advice which does tell you to pick them up if they get too hysterical and calm them down, then back in the crib they go. You may have to repeat this process, but it's a consistent message none the less. The first night it took 2 hours - yes, 2 hours. But I was with them in their rooms comforting them the whole time.

The second night - not as bad as the first. 1 hour - the crying wasn't as intense. They would stop crying and began to peek over the bumper at me to see if they were convincing me how upset they were. I actually found myself giggling a few times quietly.

The third night - 15 min. Barely any fussing. Wow.

The fourth night - a regression because we followed her plan which involves moving your chair further away. The book says to expect it and sure enough, that's what happened.

The fifth night - last night. 45 min. again - but there was talking and coo'ing, and rocking on all fours, barely any fussing.

And here is the kicker - Bryce only woke up once the first night and went back to sleep pretty quickly. The second and third nights - not a PEEP. This from the boy who has probably not slept longer than 4 hours at a stretch in his crib since he was born.

So, tonight will be the sixth night. For me - I am seeing signs of definite improvement and this approach doesn't make me feel horrible. It still is hard to hear them cry, but it's not as drastic to me or to them as CIO.

I hope this helps.
Carina