When did you stop regretting having twins?

As I am told, I am in the thick of the crappy stage of having twins, lack of sleep, no consistent schedule, crying, fussing and never being able to leave the babies very long because I am breastfeeding. I am sad to say but I definitely regret having twins, I have one baby-envy, and I want to know how many others feel the same way, and if that has changed for you?

 

I never regretted it but there were MANY times during the first year that I was feeling like I was not enjoying it. Now though, I can say that I love it more then anything. You are in a very tough stage right now. It only gets better.

 

:hug99: Oh honey!!!! I have so BTDT, but as I have said, I also had bad PPD. But I know lots of others (many who struggled with fertility issues) who have felt the same way.
For me it was around 6 months that I started to see that things would be FUN, that I would ENJOY being a mom of twins. And now....... :wub: God, I can't imagine it any other way. They are a blast and provide so much reward for all my effort.

Give it time. Are they smiling yet?

 

I get the odd smile, but mostly they still smile at the wall or the lamp. So, still very little payback for all our hardwork...which makes it even harder

 

I never regretted it, as soon as I found out I was extremely excited and I'm still grateful. I always have felt this way, even when they were first born and I was feeding them around the clock every 3 hours. But I didn't BF so I've never felt "chained" to them, I always had a lot of help and had people stay with me to take some of the night feedings so I could have a break when they were first born. If I feel too overwhelmed I call my mom or one of my friends to come relieve me for a few hours so I can get some sleep. Is there someone you could call to come watch them for a few hours so you can rest or go out and do something on your own?

 

I wouldn't say I have regretted it. But I am only just now finding moments I enjoy. It has been a much harder road to travel then were my singletons. I also think it has to do with that I have 3 olders kids who are very busy and time consuming as well. But I have turned the corner and am finding many more enjoyable moments now as compared to the overwhelming moments of a few months ago.

 

:hug99: I would say that it was probably between 6 & 9 months. The first 3 months were a complete blur. The next 3-6 were foggy :lol: It will get better, not necessarily easier, but better!! I PROMISE!!

 

I never regretted it. Regret implies that I made a choice in having twins vs. a single baby. It wasn't a choice I made - it was gift given to me by a higher power (as I believe, and you may not). BUT, having been so blessed, there's no regret. There have been hard days, for sure - days where I thought I would never see the light of day, but that's an altogether different question/issue. You are in the thick of things and we can all sympathize with how hard some moments are. The challenges are always there - the nature of those challenges changes, though, as time goes on . . . But when you have two babies crawling to you from opposite sides to give you hugs and kisses, 2 babies smiling at you in the morning, 2 babies laughter ringing in your ears, you'll still have those challenges, but your one-baby envy days will be over.

 

Same here, I never regretted having twins, but at times I haven't enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed my singleton. With my dd, I had all the time in the world to gaze lovingly into her eyes and bond and cuddle, but with the boys and a 3 year old- I barely have time to shower. It is getting easier though and I enjoy them so much more now that they're so responsive and their personalities are emerging. Hang in there- it definitely only gets better!

 

I went through this this past weekend. I so wished there was only one. I still think this every so often. I'm hoping (like you) that I'll stop thinking this soon and be able to enjoy them as they start interacting more (and stop crying and being so fussy!!!!).

 

I didnt vote because the only time i "regretted" having twins was when i was pregnant. after they were born they were just so cute (even thought they both had colic) There was no way i could regret having them.

They will soon be smiling and cooing and hopefully sleeping more!!!! :hug99::hug99:

 

I didn't ever regret having my twins. It was such a wonderful surprise when I found out I was having them (DH made me wait 5 years before he would have a baby). I also had such a great pregnancy. I definitely didn't enjoy it too much when they were tiny though. It was so hard, and I do not do well without sleep. I love having twins though especially now that they are getting bigger and doing so much more.

 

You are a woman after my own heart. VERY FEW people have the ba**s to admit that they are going through H*LL.. even if their butt is on fire..

I am not one of those people.

I absolutely, positively REGRETTED every single thing I did to get my twins (IVF btw).. for 19 straight weeks. I was miserable, furious, sad, depressed, ANGRY and P*ssed at myself for the whole thing.. I HATED it!!

Until they were 14 weeks ADJUSTED or 19 weeks Actual. I especially wanted to "get rid" of one of my babies due to colic. I was seriously contemplating it at one pt. I'm not kidding you.. I was a MESS and my husband couldn't leave me alone for fear that I would LOSE IT on the kids.

It was AWFUL. And I never got any decent advice; I'd get "take a hot bath", "go on a date", "light some candles" OH MY GOD!!! Are you serious? All I wanted to do was shoot myself and people are patronizing me. It was awful. I know how you feel-- I seriously and truly do. It's painful.. It's soo painful that I actually don't believe people when they say that they're not suffering.. It just irritated, and still kind of does, me. I just couldn't and could not grasp that concept.

Anyway, I regretted it, FULLY.. until 4 months old. Then it has gotten better every moment since then. It was like a switch went on and they became MINE. They became funny and cute and HAPPY. No more crying. It is sooo much better now.

They are 6 months old, 5 adjusted.. Life is a breeze now. They both got their teeth and that was no sweat compared to those first 19 weeks. I have even compared those first few months to being in a WAR. (Like I know, I know I don't but you get the pt..)

Anyway, if you want to- PM me. I can totally relate to your misery. trust me.

 

I have never ever regretted it, I am completely in love with these babies. When I think of the months on bedrest and the scary hospital admission at 23 weeks wondering what was going to happen, I hug them a little tighter. I am truly enjoying my twins!

 

I have never regretted it, but I can certainly understand not liking the point you are at right now! It's extremely difficult! Tons of hugs! :love0028:

 

It's not that I regretted having twins, I had my regrets on getting pregnant in general. Reminding myself that this is forever makes me stressed out on how I'm going to financially support them and myself.

but once I see those smiles and just how freaking cute and happy they are, I soon realize how blessed I am that I get two of these little people.

 

Sorry you feel that way.

I have never regretted a second. I loved every moment, every breastfeeding session, every cuddle in the middle of the night - everything.

I feel so lucky to have twins.

 

I regretted it big time for the first 4 months. We also did IVF and I wished more than anything that I could turn back the clock and let someone convince me that I was not meant to have children. (Or at the very least, that we should only transfer one embryo.) I thought I had ruined my life.

At about 4 months I started thinking I might possibly survive. At 5-6 months it started being OK. (I voted 6 months in your poll.) And by a year (when we would have been TTC #2) I started being glad we were already done with all that TTC/newborn business.

ETA: That's not to say I never have singleton envy. I still wish I could have had that experience. But then, there's no reason to think it would have been as blissful as I imagine it. To some degree, I'm just not a baby person. I liked it much better when they could do things.

:hug99: :hug99: :hug99: to you, it does get better. And yes, also easier (at least I think so).

 

I'm sorry you are feeling that way! :hug99:

 

Carrying a twin pregnancy was much harder on me than caring for twins (at least so far!). But, I've never for a minute regretted having twins. I am so grateful to be able to have these beautiful children in my life, I feel like one of the luckiest people in the world.

 

I have never regretted having twins. I think they're such a blessing from God and sometimes I still can't believe they're ours. Don't get me wrong, the first few months were very rough and a bit of a blur. In my opinion, you're definitely in the most difficult stages. I hope you feel better soon.

 

I never regretted having twins. It took us 5 years, 2 failed ivf cycles and about $50,000 out of pocket to get here. I actually hoped for twins. I'll be 40 this year and knew if we got pg it most likely will be our only chance to have a child. A lot of friends/family who have gone through fertility treatments with only one child wish they could have more.

Sure the first 2 months or so was hard. Mine are now 3 months and are smiling and cooing and we are now in a routine. I love walking in their room in the morning and have them smile at me. It makes it all worth it.

The only time I have singleton envy is when I'm at Babies R Us and see all those cute single strollers. :lol:

 

QUOTE(ivfbound078 @ Apr 8 2008, 02:36 PM) [snapback]712162[/snapback]
You are a woman after my own heart. VERY FEW people have the ba**s to admit that they are going through H*LL.. even if their butt is on fire..

I am not one of those people.

I absolutely, positively REGRETTED every single thing I did to get my twins (IVF btw).. for 19 straight weeks. I was miserable, furious, sad, depressed, ANGRY and P*ssed at myself for the whole thing.. I HATED it!!

Until they were 14 weeks ADJUSTED or 19 weeks Actual. I especially wanted to "get rid" of one of my babies due to colic. I was seriously contemplating it at one pt. I'm not kidding you.. I was a MESS and my husband couldn't leave me alone for fear that I would LOSE IT on the kids.

It was AWFUL. And I never got any decent advice; I'd get "take a hot bath", "go on a date", "light some candles" OH MY GOD!!! Are you serious? All I wanted to do was shoot myself and people are patronizing me. It was awful. I know how you feel-- I seriously and truly do. It's painful.. It's soo painful that I actually don't believe people when they say that they're not suffering.. It just irritated, and still kind of does, me. I just couldn't and could not grasp that concept.

Anyway, I regretted it, FULLY.. until 4 months old. Then it has gotten better every moment since then. It was like a switch went on and they became MINE. They became funny and cute and HAPPY. No more crying. It is sooo much better now.

They are 6 months old, 5 adjusted.. Life is a breeze now. They both got their teeth and that was no sweat compared to those first 19 weeks. I have even compared those first few months to being in a WAR. (Like I know, I know I don't but you get the pt..)

Anyway, if you want to- PM me. I can totally relate to your misery. trust me.



Bless you for being brave enough to be honest with yourself and with us.

I spent 50k doing fertility treatments and I was always grateful to have my boys but I TOTALLY doubted myself at the beginning. I think it's normal to wonder what on earth you've gotten yourself into. My first three months were horrible, the next three were better and everything after 6 months was much much easier.

It just keeps getting better after the first three months. My boys are speeding toward two now and most days are pure joy. Hang in there, the rewards are coming and they are worth it.

 

I have an older DD, so I know how easy it is to have one baby at a time instead of two.....and, I've definitely had single-baby envy when I see all the other moms at DD's preschool put a baby in a front carrier, and hang out and watch their older one run around the playground -- logistically, it's much harder with two, so I don't get out nearly as much as I'd like.

But, I've never for one minute regretted having two. The early days were beyond hard, and I was a mess. It wasn't even remotely fun. That started changing as they started sleeping longer stretches at night, started smiling and then laughing, etc. And when they started sitting independently and playing -- and now crawling all over the house -- I couldn't believe my good fortune to be blessed with two happy, funny, loving babies at once. I swear, we laugh all day, every day.

I know you can't even imagine it right now....but it really does get worlds better.

 

I think it's worth mentioning too, that if this is your first experience being a Mom, and then having two to care for, the learning curve can feel especially steep. There were some really bad nights (we had a super colicky baby) and sleep deprivation and the demands of motherhood can really wear you down, but my DH and I just kept reassuring ourselves that things can only get better and in my experience, time and getting help in the house certainly allowed me to enjoy my babies!!! It's a bit like having a new job, where you need to time to get your bearings...and for me, that took some time.

I think regretting or being envious is a waste of time, b/c your situation will not change, and you have two great babies to look after and soon you will begin to enjoy them!! I promise! I took solace in the fact that our family was complete, and I didn't have to go through those formative and trying first months ever again! It's a badge of honour to go through it, I swear!

You can do it. Give yourself a break! You're only one person! Hang in there and try to be good to yourself!

 

I am sorry you feel so bad. It got a lot easier for me just recently. Just do what you can to survive b/c it does get better. I just now started to get them on a good nap schedule and that helps a lot.

 

It was awful those first few months....and i wondered why we even had kids. We had no help, we were exhausted and Jake was HUNGRY all the time. We had singleton envy because we could never really give the other person a break. It started getting better around 4-6 months.

First, once they start really sleeping, a lot of things will get better. It's not a joke that sleep deprivation is used as an interrogation technique.

Second, as they get older they will play together (at least mine do) making the toddler age easier.

Bottom line is, I think part of this is new mom adjustment - I'm not trying to belittle what you are saying AT ALL, but no one can prepare you for the seismic shift in your life until it happens. And twins just make it 10x harder (not 2x harder).

And to ivfbound08, I totally agree....it was **** and it was a scary time. There are still times it's scary and I wonder how i ended up with 2 kids...

So, I don't regret having twins, but I would say i started enjoying them around 6 months and definitely as we hit the 1 year mark.

To the OP, if you can get away for a day, or an afternoon...please try, it may help.

 

I don't regret having twins - I didn't have a choice.... but I feel "lucky" to have 2 babies. That being said, I'm right where you are at the hard time. Molly and Owen will be 11 weeks old on Saturday. I think I have a different view because my babies spent 17 days in the NICU. I wanted them home so terribly badly that once they got home I was happy to wake up in the middle of the night.

I will say, I'm worried that things won't get easier in the next month or so like everyone says it will. I'm sure you feel the same way.

I'm having a hard time with my DD's reflux. I just finished crying because she, again, threw up an entire feeding. It's horrible - I feel so sorry for her.

 

Well, I can't say I regret having twins because I didn't chose them, but sometimes I regret not getting up to get a condom from the dresser! I was not ready for one baby, let alone two!

Yes, there are times I have one baby envy (like PP said about logistically it is harder to get out with 2 babies and a 2.5 yr old as oppose to one baby and 2.5 year old). Having said that, one baby does not mean you will have it easy. My older ds was by far harder than my girls put together! I had 3 miscarriages before getting pregnant with ds and still when he was born I told my dh "I don't know what I was thinking, I don't want him" So I can relate in that aspect. But I LOVE him so much now that I am ashamed I felt that way. Although it may not apply completely, but one thing I do regret with my ds was spending so much time stressing out!

I do not enjoy the newborn stage, so I am glad I am getting it over with! It may be very difficult, but I don't have to do it again!

I could not vote because my girls are not quite 3 months and I don't enjoy it fully yet, but now they smile (big ones too), are less fussy, and are more efficient nursers. I don't cry everyday anymore!

Someone else will always have it easier and some other will have it harder.

When people say "you have your hands full" I say "better full than empty" (and I say it to myself). When people say "I don't know how you do it" I say "I just do, because I have to." Humans have an unbelievable ability to adapt and overcome. You can and will do it and you will start to enjoy it. Hopefully sooner than later.

I know it may sound crazy, but I go out almost everyday. Even if it is just down to the park for 30 min. In some way it makes the day easier (or at least go by faster!).

 

QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ Apr 8 2008, 05:01 PM) [snapback]712067[/snapback]
I never regretted it but there were MANY times during the first year that I was feeling like I was not enjoying it. Now though, I can say that I love it more then anything. You are in a very tough stage right now. It only gets better.

Ditto for me!!

 

QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ Apr 8 2008, 09:01 PM) [snapback]712067[/snapback]
I never regretted it but there were MANY times during the first year that I was feeling like I was not enjoying it. Now though, I can say that I love it more then anything. You are in a very tough stage right now. It only gets better.


I totally agree!!! I still have days though that I feel like having twins is a disadvantage but they are few and far between compared to a year ago!

 

I have never regretted having twins--I have always known my whole life that I would have twins, so I never had that "surprise."

However--I have been scared, exhausted, depleted, and crushed many times. I just put the babies someplace safe--the crib, the bouncy and swing, etc, and I step away. I pour myself a cup of coffee and I take a few deep breaths, and I go back and look at the two of them screaming their heads off and try to remember that it is only temporary.

Hang in there, it WILL get better.

oh, and I totally have singleton envy--I'd love to have a singleton if we ever have more babies.

 

I never regretted having twins. I regretted getting pregnant for the first half of my pregnancy but only because I was so sick I couldn't eat. I wound up in the hospital and had to have a picc line put in to give myself IV fluids so I woudln't loose them.

 

QUOTE(azmomto2 @ Apr 8 2008, 06:19 PM) [snapback]712266[/snapback]
Bless you for being brave enough to be honest with yourself and with us.

I spent 50k doing fertility treatments and I was always grateful to have my boys but I TOTALLY doubted myself at the beginning. I think it's normal to wonder what on earth you've gotten yourself into. My first three months were horrible, the next three were better and everything after 6 months was much much easier.

It just keeps getting better after the first three months. My boys are speeding toward two now and most days are pure joy. Hang in there, the rewards are coming and they are worth it.


I got to give you all credit for admitting this! I thought I was horrible for feeling this way, the whole first month, I totally regretted it. It is true, it does get better. Each day has it's challenges, but I would not trade my twosome in for the world. I love them to death!

 

I never regretted it, but I will have to say, we had easy babies. I have watched my sister go through a lot with her singleton born last year with reflux, no sleeping, etc that I never had to deal with for any of my babies. I have loved having twins and watching them grow together, I love being pregnant, I love the newborn stage (I'm a little cuckoo, I guess! )