when did you start time outs?

We've already discussed that time outs will definitely be our discipline method of choice, but I'm wondering when to start them. Right now we're still working on teaching them what they can and can't do. They are starting to get some of these things now, but I know they're not ready for time outs yet. Right now they are still exploring and learning what is right and wrong, and I don't think it's appropriate to punish them for doing something they didn't yet know was wrong. But I'm just wondering when you started using them effectively, so I know when it might become an option.

 

Around 13-14 months. I used the PNP but at 18 months they learned to climb out of it.

 

We started at about 16 months for 1 minute.

 

Right around 2 yrs old. Before that, I would just remove them from the situation in which was causing the problem and tried to re-direct them. Once they understood what was considered "naughty" behavior, I would have them sit in a little chair for about 1-2 minutes.

 

My pedi actually encouraged us to start around their first birthday. I would just make sure to sit the offender down wherever the offense occured. My two are super mild mannered, so I never had a problem with either one of them moving. I'd have them sit there for about a minute. I've always giving the warning, "No, don't do such and such" sometimes redirect, but sometimes I wouldn't just to practice the TO. Now, they will "stop, drop and roll" so to speak if I call a time out. They usually don't repeat the offense right away either, so I'm thinking they 'get it'.
Good luck with your two.

 

As hard as it was, I waited until the very exact day they turned 18 months. I really only needed it for one dd and it totally worked. There were times before that that I put her in the packnplay and losely used the word timeout but it was more of a timeout for me because I was going to blow.

I think timeouts can be very effective but consistency is extremely important and when you do finally start introducing timeouts, it may very well take them a couple of weeks before they really start to connect a particular behavior with the timeout (or in our case being placed in the packnplay in the dining room away from everything and everyone). Also, only focus on 1 to 2 behaviors at a time. More than that and I think it is not as effective. It's easy to want to give timeouts for everything but I focused just on hitting and climbing the table because those were the two most immediate behaviors that I felt needed to be addressed.

 

I started time out at 14 months and stay consistent with it. Our time out goes to their high chair and facing against the wall. Because they can't sit still on the floor yet. I need to move their time-out as they are now 16.5 months and know how to sit still. They haven't got in trouble lately because we have put a lot of stuff and some furniture has been removed out of the room for now.

Diana w/Rianna and Justin (16.5 mos)

 

DS has had about 30 since he turned 18 months old and DD has had maybe 2.

I'm not sure if they will be effective for DS or not. He seems to have my DH's sense of adventure running in his blood. He knows darn good and well what will send him there - standing on furniture, playing with lamps, hitting toys on the glass/TV - and STILL he does it while looking at me and laughing!!!!! Grrrrr.

 

QUOTE(EMc2 @ Feb 20 2008, 06:55 AM) [snapback]630726[/snapback]
My pedi actually encouraged us to start around their first birthday. I would just make sure to sit the offender down wherever the offense occured. My two are super mild mannered, so I never had a problem with either one of them moving. I'd have them sit there for about a minute. I've always giving the warning, "No, don't do such and such" sometimes redirect, but sometimes I wouldn't just to practice the TO. Now, they will "stop, drop and roll" so to speak if I call a time out. They usually don't repeat the offense right away either, so I'm thinking they 'get it'.
Good luck with your two.


But what is an offense that's worthy of time out at one year? The only things I can think of that they do that I don't want them to is pull hair, and pull off their grandma's glasses. But when they do those things, we just hold their hand, tell them no pulling hair, and move on. They look at us like they're trying really hard to comprehend what we're saying. Sometimes they do it again, sometimes they move on. Maybe we've babyproofed too much so there's nothing bad for them to get into! Good that they're safe, but maybe bad that they won't learn to avoid some things on their own.

Anyway, I just feel like they're still in the process of understanding what they can and can't do, and I need to teach them what's wrong before punishing them for doing something wrong. I think as I read these posts and talk myself through it, I just don't think my guys are ready yet. Their adjusted first birthday is mid-March, so maybe we'll use that milestone to reevaluate. Otherwise, I think 18 months is looking to be a better starting point for us.

 

I heard the whole 12 month thing too and wondered what the heck they could "intentionally" do at the age to warrant a punishment. It did seem like a whole different ballgame as we approached the 18 month mark. When they do something and look at you with that glimmer in their eye - that's when you know they understand the difference between right and wrong and need to be corrected versus redirected. It was an obvious change in our house.

 

QUOTE(first_second_and_last @ Feb 20 2008, 02:55 PM) [snapback]631732[/snapback]
I heard the whole 12 month thing too and wondered what the heck they could "intentionally" do at the age to warrant a punishment. It did seem like a whole different ballgame as we approached the 18 month mark. When they do something and look at you with that glimmer in their eye - that's when you know they understand the difference between right and wrong and need to be corrected versus redirected. It was an obvious change in our house.


Thank you!!! That makes sense to me....I'll watch for the glimmer.

 

We try to do time-outs here, but they have trouble sitting in our desired time-out spot. I usually have to hold them down for a minute. My boys are extremely active and at times quite a handful. I try to redirect whenever I can.

 

QUOTE(BridgePort @ Feb 20 2008, 04:56 PM) [snapback]631294[/snapback]
But what is an offense that's worthy of time out at one year? The only things I can think of that they do that I don't want them to is pull hair, and pull off their grandma's glasses. But when they do those things, we just hold their hand, tell them no pulling hair, and move on. They look at us like they're trying really hard to comprehend what we're saying. Sometimes they do it again, sometimes they move on. Maybe we've babyproofed too much so there's nothing bad for them to get into! Good that they're safe, but maybe bad that they won't learn to avoid some things on their own.

Anyway, I just feel like they're still in the process of understanding what they can and can't do, and I need to teach them what's wrong before punishing them for doing something wrong. I think as I read these posts and talk myself through it, I just don't think my guys are ready yet. Their adjusted first birthday is mid-March, so maybe we'll use that milestone to reevaluate. Otherwise, I think 18 months is looking to be a better starting point for us.



In all due respect, you didn't ask for serious offenses. You asked when to start. These are the offenses I consider serious. Banging on the television, knocking glasses off your face yes. Biting. Hitting her sibling. All these "offenses" usually are given warnings before hand. I thought it was crazy too when I heard the pedi tell me to start at one. But I'm glad I did. Everyone has their own style of parenting and if yours works for you that's great. You asked and I shared my expierences with you. I hope you can find a groove that will work for you and your children.

 

I started at around the 16 month mark....time out works great for my boy..and yes now at 2o months i normally only have to mention time out and he stops whateva he was doing..as for my girl..well she sits there like a good girl, listens and nods when i sit and "talk" to her and tell her why shes been put there (its soo cute and sooo hard not to smile) when doing this...and then we have a cuddle and she says "sorry"..and then she promptly gets up and goes and does the same thing she got put there for!!! so im thinking maybe she doesnt get the whole time out yet..or maybe she just chooses not to get it....they are ALOT more clever than you think they are (or so i have discovered)...i use time out for hitting each other, being nasty with toys, playing on the computer really thats about it for now..oh tonight i did use it when they managed to climb up on some draw and reach the sunscreen!!!
good luck and really the earlier you begin the more they get it and then you find you dont have to do it so much..well thats how it worked with my older son whos 4 1/2. now he is hardley ever on there and its so cute watching his face when the twins get put on time out spot..like hes thinking haha been there done that..

 

For our 4yo we do time outs facing the corner. We had to start time-outs about a month ago when A & E turned 2 (it was like a switch flipped with A!). E will actually be re-directed well. A is another story. I have found that a "time-out" rug works well for her as far as staying in a designated spot.

~Jenny

 

QUOTE(EMc2 @ Feb 21 2008, 12:30 AM) [snapback]632766[/snapback]
In all due respect, you didn't ask for serious offenses. You asked when to start. These are the offenses I consider serious. Banging on the television, knocking glasses off your face yes. Biting. Hitting her sibling. All these "offenses" usually are given warnings before hand. I thought it was crazy too when I heard the pedi tell me to start at one. But I'm glad I did. Everyone has their own style of parenting and if yours works for you that's great. You asked and I shared my expierences with you. I hope you can find a groove that will work for you and your children.


Thanks! You're right, and I appreciated your response on the timing. I guess I was spinning off of my own post within the original post. The timing of when you start is necessarily tied to what you find to be a time out worthy offense (e.g., if you only find climbing on the table to be time out worthy, you're not going to start time outs until they're able to climb on the table). So, thanks for the additional input on what you use time outs for.

 

I guess I am the odd one out, in that I really didn't find them effective until around 2 to 2 1/2 years. My psychology major in child development comes out, in that I don't see the point of discipline until a child can understand cause/effect and hold onto that long term. Until that age we would redirect. Once they were able to understand cause/effect, time outs started to work and we didn't have repeats of the bad behavior--that is what I consider an effective time out. If you are using it simply to stop them from doing something, then 10 min later, they are doing it again, they didn't learn anything from the time out, and redirection with a strong "No" would have been just as effective.

 

We started around 22 months and very occasionally like for hitting, direct disobedience (glimmer in eye :winking0009, etc. They don't have to go in much...yet...time will tell...