whats your opinion?

I havent been on here in awhile, but the twins are now almost 11 months old.
I have not been away from them except when my mom comes to my house to watch
them for a little while if I have to go somewhere and its raining or something and I dont want
to get them out. Well, my dh sister called today and wanted to know if she could come
get them and bring them to her house for a few hours on Friday. I dont know. My problem
with this is, for one, I wasn't raised this way, when I was growing up, my family always
came and visited us, and left, they never came got us kids and left with us. Two, the babies
I'm afraid are not going to like it, because they don't even know this lady. They have NEVER
came over here to the house to see the babies and visit. And we don't get out because
of the weather and was afraid to since everytime we took them out, they would wind up
sick with something(I'm talking rsv and phnemonia) I wonder why they cant just come
visit instead of taking them and leaving. I think I'm going to tell her no and why(what I've
said just now, and try to do so in such a way that she wont take offense)and if she does, oh well.
But, am I wrong, overreacting, or just being overprotective(okay, I'll admit, I'm very overprotective over all my kids). Is it healthy for them to never be away from me? How does everyone else feel about this? do you let family come get your kids and leave with them?
Just wondering.
By the way, if it helps, I'm a SAHM and have been from the beginning, so I'm always with them
through the day.

 

I would have her come to the house if she wants to spend time with them. That is sort of weird to me for someone to call and want to take them to their home, unless she wants to give you a break but all the same do it at your house. With 2 babies it is easier because she would have all she needs at her disposal if they are home.

 

I would react the same exact way. If they were with her all the time and she really had your routine down, that would be a different story. My vote is definitely not.

 

I agree with the pp. If she hasn't spent any time with the babies before its a lot to take them home with her without knowing what to expect. I'd word it in a way that invites her over to spend time with the kiddos because its 'easier' for her (and you!). What a hassle to move car seats and pack everything they'd need at her house for a couple of hours.

 

I also would suggest she come to your house for a visit. All of their gear would be around and they would be in familiar surroundings.

 

I agree with everyone, have her watch them at your place. It's good to expose them to different people, but to bring them into unfamiliar territory may scare them. She should give them a chance to get comfortable with her first. Than I say bring them to her house for a visit before actually leaving them there. So they can get comfortable in a different house.

 

I agree. If she saw them all the time, it would be different and I would say, yes let her. But since she doesn't come see the babies then no. Did she say why she wanted to take them?

April

 

same here... she needs to build a relationship with them and know their routine. I hated going to visit my aunts I didn't know growing up, it was weird.

 

I would have her come over too - I'm guessing she wants to take them so she can "be in charge." She should visit - or babysit at your house if you want. Especially if the twins aren't used to her house. Since you're a SAHM (me too) I think it would be hard for them all of the sudden to be in a new environment w/ you nowhere to be found. they're you're kids and you do all the work during the day - i think this is your decision not dh's.

 

Thanks everyone for all your advice, it just cofirmed that I wasnt overreacting. I actually just called her and told her that me and dh didnt think it was a very good idea, for them to be somewhere and with someone they didnt know, and that I couldnt put them in that situation. She wanted to know why we dont take them over there and I told her that it was because they get sick so easy, really sick, and that when the weather warmed up we would. I said that she or anyone else was always welcome to come over anytime if they want to see them, and she didnt like that to well. Oh well, ARGGGG!!! nothings stopping her from coming here, I dont know what the big dang deal is. Thats just wierd. She said she wanted to come get them to give me a break, and I said I appreciated it but it wouldnt be much of a break if I was constantly worried that they were scared and crying. I've had problems out of mother in law also, wanting to come get them when they were just a few weeks old and keep them for the whole weekend at her house like 60 miles away. Thats just too wierd. what is wrong with this family :wacko:

 

I wouldn't let them go with her, either, especially since they don't really know her. Let her come and visit or baby sit- I think they would be freaked out to be with this strange lady in a strange house- I don't think your sil would enjoy it either... weird request, too- I would never ask any parent that- even a relative...

 

QUOTE(shannLo @ Feb 27 2008, 07:23 PM) [snapback]643862[/snapback]
Thanks everyone for all your advice, it just cofirmed that I wasnt overreacting. I actually just called her and told her that me and dh didnt think it was a very good idea, for them to be somewhere and with someone they didnt know, and that I couldnt put them in that situation. She wanted to know why we dont take them over there and I told her that it was because they get sick so easy, really sick, and that when the weather warmed up we would. I said that she or anyone else was always welcome to come over anytime if they want to see them, and she didnt like that to well. Oh well, ARGGGG!!! nothings stopping her from coming here, I dont know what the big dang deal is. Thats just wierd. She said she wanted to come get them to give me a break, and I said I appreciated it but it wouldnt be much of a break if I was constantly worried that they were scared and crying. I've had problems out of mother in law also, wanting to come get them when they were just a few weeks old and keep them for the whole weekend at her house like 60 miles away. Thats just too wierd. what is wrong with this family :wacko:


OMG! Your inlaws and mine must be from the same weirdo planet, because when my boys were a week old, my inlaws came to stay with us, and my MIL suggested that the boys sleep in their room with them so that I could "have a break."

Um, my boys are exclusively breastfed. How on earth would it be a "break" for me to have to get out of bed and go knock on the guest room door to get my babies to feed them instead of just reaching into the bassinet right next to my bed?

Gawd, people are clueless!

 

Since they don't know her well, I'd ask her to come to your house to visit. My girls see my SIL maybe once every 1-2 months, but they see her daughter (our nanny) regularly. So my SIL and MIL will come and get the girls and the nanny and take them to the mall to the play area once in a while, and I'm fine with that. I think the girls would be leary if their nanny didn't go along too, but they are getting better now that they are in daycare.

It's good for you to get a break! And it's good for your girls to get out and play in a social setting. That doesn't mean you have to send them away with someone they don't know well, but maybe start coming up with some ideas to get them out a bit.

 

With my older children, my parents were always over at our house. So the kids knew them and were very comfortable going to their house. But going somewhere , with people that they didn't know, that would never happen. Make them come to your place. I didn't read , but i assume she doesn't have kids? Or I think she would understand .

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Feb 28 2008, 08:50 AM) [snapback]644363[/snapback]
OMG! Your inlaws and mine must be from the same weirdo planet, because when my boys were a week old, my inlaws came to stay with us, and my MIL suggested that the boys sleep in their room with them so that I could "have a break."

Um, my boys are exclusively breastfed. How on earth would it be a "break" for me to have to get out of bed and go knock on the guest room door to get my babies to feed them instead of just reaching into the bassinet right next to my bed?

Gawd, people are clueless!


My ILs too. They are constantly wanting to take the babies to give me a break. They started asking when the boys were about 2 months old when I was going to let them stay overnight. Umm...no. They still haven't.

I still prefer for people to come to my house to watch them anyway. They don't nap well anywhere except in the car, at daycare in their cribs or in the cribs at home. Plus all their stuff is at my house...if you need it it's right there. It's less anxious for me. Anyway...I only have one really close friend that I really am comfortable leaving them with anyway (besides my daycare which knows I'm a let's say politely "pro-active" parent) because she follows my requests and the boys' routine to a T.

Didn't mean to get off on a tangent...
You're definitely not overreacting!