whats the big secret

ok so SIL is pregnant with her first child. she went through IVF and only got 1 egg so the doc said instead of wasting the cycle he just did artificial insemination and said he has no hopes of it working but it did. wow talk about a good shot lol. anyway when i went through IVF she got upset when the first round didnt take and i didnt call her right away to tell her. but now she is so secretive about the baby. she told us its a boy. i ask her if she has any ideas on a name and she just says yeah we call him the baby for now. she wont tell us any ideas of a name and i know she has them she is too orderly not to. so anyway she doesn't like to talk about the pregnancy at all. she had ultrasound pics and never showed anyone them. i saw one this weekend when we went to her house in a frame and i asked oh is this him and she was kinda offended that i touched the frame to look at it. she was like ugghhh yeah DH put it in there. it was a really good picture of the baby too you can see him clearly. i wont dare ask questions anymore cuz when i do you can clearly tell she doesn't want to talk about it. why the secret. when i was pregnant i was sooo happy and if you asked me questions i answered them gladly. any family member could touch my belly and she did every time she saw me and when i touched her belly thos weekend she said oh hello excuse me. i just looked at her and said oh sorry i didn't know you didn't want anyone touching you since you did it to me every chance you could get. i didnt just run up to her grab her belly and say hello. we were talking and i said so is he kicking alot now and she said yes and i touched her belly and said hello baby. thats it. am i wrong or is she acting weird about the whole thing

 

I was really quiet about my pregnancy. It was just such a personal thing, and I wasn't totally comfortable talking about all of it. I was polite when asked, but I really did not share a whole lot. About the name thing, I know LOADS of people that don't share their chosen name ahead of time.

If your SIL struggled to get pregnant, part of her quiet attitude too may stem from fear. If she doesn't act too excited, maybe it won't hurt so bad if (God forbid) she were to lose it. Has your SIL experienced miscarriages in the past?

 

How far along is she? I too went through IVF and I was soo happy when I finally got pregnant. However, I felt really uncomfortable talking and getting excited about it. I was afraid I would jinx myself and something bad would happen. Maybe as she gets farther along she will share more details with you. I hope she does and that she can enjoy the experience of being pregnant.

Amy

 

Although I wasn't necessarily secretive about my pregnancy (through IVF), I was really, really nervous that we would be disappointed again by a loss. Maybe she doesn't want to get disappointed and tries not to make a big deal about it.

 

I agree with the PP's -- also, we never shared our chosen names with anyone before our babies were born, not even with our parents. I just didn't want to hear that someone didn't like the name, or that it reminded them of the geeky kid in 3rd grade, whatever....we figured people were less likely to express their opinions to a baby's face.

 

she is 7 months pregnant. i thought ok yeah so she was nervous in the beginning so i never talked about it to her. but when i was pregnant and i did do IVF 3 times she wanted to talk about everything. so i never thought if i would ask her a question she wouldn't want to talk about it. the name thing is fine i can understand if she wanted to wait until the baby is born but then just say that. i know that they are excited but it is a very hush hush type of thing for everyone else.

 

I agree with pp's about her being concerned that this is really going well... Also, we picked out names but didn't share them with anyone until the girls were born. I didn't want anyone weighing in and criticizing our choices.

 

I also did IVF and did not share the names we choose until the babies were born. I felt that so much of the surprise aspect of getting pregnant was taken away from me that I wanted one thing that was a surprise to others. (my family knew all about our infertility struggles so there was no "surprise we are three months pregnant" moment. I miscarried a few times previous so even DH would not express any excitement about the pregnancy until we were 4-5 months along.)