what would you do? (separating twins?)

Hi everyone,



For those that keep their twins in the same room, I was wondering if anyone had issues with their twins waking each other during the night. One of my daughters is a good sleeper and only wakes b/c of teething. The other one is another story! Right now they are sleeping in separate cribs in the same room. I have debated on separating them (practically from the beginning) and while I would like to be able to keep them in the same room for bonding reasons I am beginning to think I might have to separate them. It's becoming difficult for me to get any sleep b/c the bad sleeper is making so much noise she wakes up the good sleeper. At my 1 year appt the pediatrician said it's probably separation anxiety and that is why she is waking up (they are 15 months). He recommended keeping them in the same room so as to not make things worse. It's been 3 months of this and obviously it's been going on way too long. I really don't know what other options I have at this point. Any ideas on how to fix the problem? Any help would be appreciated!



Thanks,

Kate

Mom to ID girls-Abby & Liv (15 months old)

 

Mine are seperate right now(one sleeps in my parents room, god bless them, and one sleeps in my room). They were waking each other up. We seperated them and they are doing alot better. We are going to put them back together soon now that their sleeping has improved.

 

Mine have always shared a room, but never a bed. One would scream, but the other usually slept through it. Many times I would even hear Marc calling "Jon, Jon", and Jon never woke up.

 

i have one that was great and one that woke up regularly. On occasion when he work the "1st" up, it seemed he was only awake until he know I came in to sooth his brother.

My non sleeper would wake and not go back to sleep until I went in, then it was like 'oh, okay you are still there" and he would lay down and sleep.

He did not actually start sleeping through the night w/o waking until he was two, and coincidently, we moved them both into a bed together. Crazy.

 

Hmmmm...mine have always shared a room but Will has learned to sleep through Matthew (and Matthew is a beast when he wakes up in the middle of the night so it can get quite loud.) Mine have no choice but to share a room so I don't have the option of changing and they've had to learn to deal with it. However, now that they are older and used to each other I think it would be a nightmare to separate them. THey play with each before settling down and I think they would be very lonely to not have the other.

As a note, Matthew didn't sleep through the night until 18 months and then it was very short lived. Now, he occasionally sleeps through but I'm still often having to go in and comfort one or the other. I think it could just be a toddler thing. Once I go in and comfort they settle down and go back to sleep (so long as it's not after 5am...that's a tough time for us to get over. There's usually no going back to sleep at that point). So, I guess what I'm saying is I totally understand the sleep deprivation as I'm still living it and I honestly think it has nothing to do with them sharing a room.

But, that being said, if you've tried everything else, I guess you could try and see what happens, though taking down and putting up cribs could be a pain. I hope you get some sleep soon!

 

Mine have always slept in same room since day 1 - whether it was pnp basinett in LR or swings/carseats in my bedroom. they did not transition to their crib until 6-7 months. They finally started to sleep through eachothers cries 95% of the time around 9-10 months. I know its hard to go through - with one waking up crying and waking the other for the screamfest. But if you let it go, it can help them both sleep through eachothers cries. Unless you want to keep them in separate rooms. That is a personal choice. but that too loses the twin closeness and fun too. My boys wake up giggling and playing in their room since about 18 months. That is the CUTEST thing to hear in the morning!

HTH

 

Hi, I could have wrote this same post when my sons were 6 months. I felt your guilt but bottom line for us was what was best for our sons - and that means a good night sleep. Since we seperated into different bedrooms they are BOTH sleeping through the night.

We will put them back together as soon as we can They bond together all day Bedtime is for sleeping.

Good luck!
BB
10 month sons

 

Try seperating them, it couldnt make it any worse... You can always move them back!

 

I struggled with Nicole waking Jamie up for almost a month starting at around 7 months of age and I didn't separate them right away based on the following comments I kept getting from everyone:

"They'll eventually get used to each other's crying"

"You should never break the twin bond by putting them in separate rooms"

Well, one night I had had enough. I separated them and they slept much better. It was the best decision I ever made.

When they went to big girl beds (shortly after they turned 2) I put them back in the same room and because they had stopped their night waking everything was fine. They've been in the same room ever since.

 

My girls for the most part WILL sleep through the others crying if they wake up. But there are other times when one will start throwing things inthe others crib to intentionally wake the other one.

I am keeping them in the same room, but I may move the cribs further apart.

If I were you, I'd try to seperate them to see if it helps. You can alwaya move them back together ifyou choose to.

Good luck.

 

I left mine together through all of everything and they can sleep through each others noise (90% of the time). Now that they are 2 (today!) they are way more dependent on each other and I can leave them in there in the mornings for a while and they talk and entertain each other etc. while I drag myself out of bed etc. They are having a harder time just being out of the same room together.

If I take one upstairs and one is down they are screaming for the other, so....if you are going to do it. Try now! It will get harder to do later!!

 

I thought about separating my girls for awhile, but we left them together. Grace was always my good sleeper and Elizabeth would wake up through the night. Grace eventually learned to sleep through Elizabeth's crying. In the last month, they have both started to sleep all night. Until recently, we did not have the option of separating them. We just moved into a new house and have an extra room, but we were worried about separating them when we were already transitioning to a new house. Now they are sleeping fine.

Like some of the PPs said, you can try separating them for a while. If it does not work out, you can always move them back.

 

we don't have the option of separating ours right now..so they have gotten used to hearing each other... I did CIO with my ds around 5 months...and only every once in a while now Ihave had to have one or the other cry a bit...if all else fails and there is nothing wrong, you've ruled out ear infections, hunger, thirst, then there's really nothing else to do except let her cry... I'm a big believer in mom needing her sleep too... If you've never done CIO with her, 15 months will be much more difficult than 5 months...they will fight and cry longer, especially if you have always responded immediately to her crying. It will take awhile to figure out that there is no point in crying, that you mean business, that she needs to sleep. If it makes you feel better to go back in, firmly tell her it's time to sleep, and physically put her back down (don't take her out of the crib at all) just lay her down and gently, but firmly hold her their for a few seconds, telling her it's time to sleep...then leave the room even if she gets right back up and cries. Let her cry more, then do the same thing again... If this whole CIO thing bothers your other child, then separating them wouldn't be a bad idea... but I don't think separating them is going to do anything for your sleep if your second child is sleeping through all the fuss anyway... In my case I have found that one crying child actually tends to lull the other one to sleep... and on the occasion that one has cried in the middle of the night (almost always b/c of illness) the other might wake up, but usually just needs a kiss or a back pat to quickly fall back to sleep.

 

P.S. I do separate for naps...my dd goes in a PNP in my room..for some reason if it's naptime they just sleep better separated...I think b/c it's so much brighter in their room... we'll have to see how summertime goes with the sunset being so much later!!...they might be up talking to each other all night!

 

Thanks for all your posts!!

So I decided that the first night my husband was home (he works nights) we would think about separating them. Well we gave it one more night of them sleeping together and guess what? They SLEPT THE WHOLE NIGHT!! 8-8:30! Then a repeat performance again last night!!! I wonder if their ears were ringing- they must have realized we meant business so they behaved for Mommy & Daddy! Who knows if this is the beginning of a new sleeping trend, but I will take it!!!!

Thanks again- looks like we are going to have them stay put!