What would you do? (kinda long)

You may remember that I posted a few weeks ago worrying about vanishing twin syndrome. We found out that we are having two at my 7 week u/s. Both babies had good heartbeats in the 155-165 range but one sac was measuring smaller than the other with less fluid. The tech told us it might not make it and the dr later said that we would just have to wait and see. My next u/s is scheduled for Dec 17 which is 4 weeks and a few days after the last one. I am now 10 weeks and have 2 weeks until the next appointment. So here is my dilemma. Should I call the dr and try to push for an u/s sooner, like today? I have been going crazy wondering how these babies are doing. I've read so much online about healthy babies vanishing during those first 12 weeks, and about unhealthy babies surviving and thriving. So it really is up in the air. And even if I have an u/s today I will still have 2 weeks before I am out of the first trimester. I also know that with twins there are always risks. Just b/c I might see both babies again on another u/s does not mean that they will be okay for the next nine (or seven) months. But I would feel better, for a while at least. To complicate matters, my DH now has a conflict with the apt on Dec. 17 and wants me to reschedule. I called and they don't have anything open for another week. I said never mind. But I am willing to reschedule if I can sneak in an u/s in the next day or two. KWIM?

So what would you do? Would you call your dr and insist on being monitored more closely? Would you try to be patient and relax and just wait? I know that I can't control anything but I just want to know. Oh, to make it worse we were so excited at first that we told EVERYBODY about the twins, before the worry set in. I am a minister and I even told my church. I am already showing so I had to tell them I'm pg and I just decided to share everything. Now I'm worried about being embarrassed if the baby has vanished, which is stupid, I know. I keep trying to tell myself all the things I would tell a woman in my church to offer her support. But the bottom line is that I just need to see my TWO babies on the screen to feel better. BTW, if I go now DH probably won't be able to join me. He works an hour away and gets very little vacation time. It would cost him half a day to join me at the u/s.

Thanks for listening to me vent. Some days I am okay and find comfort in knowing that I am already huge and always hungry. That has to count for something, right? But I still worry and two more weeks feels like eternity. Okay, I'm done.
:thanks: :thanks: :thanks:

 

:hug: I'm sorry you are dealing with this worry. :hug: It's no fun and I think it comes with the territory (well, it did for me anyway :lol: ) I guess you can call your doctor and see if they will see you sooner? My doctor didn't see me unless I was having pain or something wasn't feeling right (other then my monthly visits) but it can't hurt to call and ask... especially if they give you and appointment and make you worry a bit less.

Good luck. :grouphug:

 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this stress! The fact that you saw two heartbeats is a good sign. It's not unusual for them to measure differently at first. Ultimately, an earlier ultrasound would just be for your peace of mind. There is nothing that monitoring them can do this early to stop one from vanishing. And like you said, if you have an ultrasound in the next couple days, you are still going to be worried for the next couple weeks.

It doesn't hurt to ask them to get you in earlier. If you see two heartbeats at 10 weeks, your chances of having one vanish go way down.

Best of luck. I understand the worry. I was always worried during my pregnancy, and always expecting the worst. But everything ended up fine.

Keep us posted!

 

I am so sorry that you are worried. :hug: My Dr said I could come in whenever I wanted. She strongly believed that peace of mind goes a long way, and was willing to help put my mind at ease. I would just call your Dr and see what he/she says. Good Luck!! :hug:

 

I agree - peace of mind is just as important as the healthy babes in your belly! Its a circle that is all joined. I would call and see if you can get in if it would make you feel better - what can it hurt? All they can do is say nope, sorry - booked, you'll have to wait. On the other hand you could have the next few weeks not worrying quite as much (you'll always worry - you are now a mom - you'll ALWAYS find something to worry about!)

Good luck! HUGS!

 

I've spent the morning reading your posts and going around and around. I really appreciate your advice. I talked to DH and he reminded me of a few things. I am huge and haven't fit into my regular clothes since 8 weeks, I'm extra tired and extra hungry, and as of two nights ago I *think* I started feeling flutters - in different spots! He also reminded me of a good point that has kept me positive for this long - for all we know we are still pg with twins and we should enjoy that as much as we can. If I go in there and find out that one of the babies has vanished then I will be devastated. If I wait then I can enjoy 2 more weeks of being pg with twins. Maybe that is denial, or maybe it's not. Maybe the babies are just fine! But I'm going to try to be happy with the information I have today and let that be enough. My appointment is 2 weeks from today so as of tomorrow it is in a week and change, right!?!?! :blush: It's all a matter of perspective.

I am so thankful that I found this sight and that you all are willing to let me be worried about this. I appreciate your encouragement. It really has helped me get through this morning.

:thanks:

 

Oh I've been there! We found out it was twins at 5 weeks. We saw two empty sacs and the tech sounded very positive about the whole thing even though one was significantly smaller than the other. I called my doctor's office after the visit and they said, oh we'll just see you at your next appointment, which was 5 weeks away. I was pretty panicked but I just decided to be patient. Almost 2 weeks later the doctor called me and asked if anyone had spoke to me about my u/s results. I told him no and he said, well a twin pregnancy was detected...duh :wacko: So he schedule me for an ultrasound at 7 weeks. We saw two heartbeats and were pretty much told that everything looked ok. I was also concered about VTS and my next ultrasound wasn't until 12 weeks and 6 days. I was very anxious while I waited for my next u/s and all I could think about was one not being there. It was worth the wait because they were both right on track at the last visit. I hope that it goes the same way for you and you can find the patience to wait until your next visit. At least then you'll have a definitive answer. I know it's hard though! If only we had a window on our bellies and could just watch them grow everyday!

 

Wouldn't that be nice!!! But then I really would spend all of my time "navel gazing." )

Thank you for sharing your story. Every positive outcome gives me hope!!

The irony is that since we used clomid we knew this was a possibility and on the way to that first u/s we were actually saying to each other that it would be really hard if there were two. Now I can't imagine it any other way.

 

We thought the same thing when our daughter was born. We were like, Oh man, if we had twins we would be so screwed. I don't know how people do it!...13 months later, there's two in there! I'm not very religious but I am really starting to believe that we're not given more than we can handle. At least that's what I'm hoping and I will develop some sort of mom super powers that allow me to go days on end without sleeping, eating or showering!

 

It sounds like you are doing your best to wait it out and cope with the worry. Another poster was right when she said that worry comes with the territory of being a mom. There is ALWAYS something to worry about with pregnancy, newborns, dare-devil toddlers, etc. If you're prone to worrying about things, don't let yourself pour over the internet too much. It will only make your mind get even MORE crazy with worry!

I'm not trying to minimize your worry....I had IVF for these twins, and of course I worry about losing them and then not even being able to have another child. But, I also have to remind myself to enjoy the pregnancy while I have it. It's such a fleeting time...you will miss being pregnant one day and will not regret any time you spent enjoying your pregnancy, even if it ends in a loss.

GL!

 

I'm glad you've found a 'happy place' and that your DH helped you get there!!! That is awesome. I wondered about the clothes not fitting comment you made but I'm on dial up and forgot to mention it in my post - and didn't have the time to go back to edit/add! LOL

 

Sounds like a good plan. I would have done the same...even going in early would make me worry until 12 weeks. I'd rather enjoy those two weeks.

Good luck!

 

I hear you say that you are a minister of the church. Take heed of the things you teach, hold strong to your faith and know that this presents as an opportunity to demonstrate conviction in the things that are taught through you. Not everything that happens to us is for our benifit, but perhaps there is a tool for teaching within your flock. I do not share your belifes, but I do believe in leading by example. Your faith has directed you to a vocation which engenders faith in others, but how will they have faith if they see your doubt? Trust in the God you speak of, believe that the life in your womb is a precious gift and do not fear being human. There is no mistake in nature if you believe it to be influenced by God. Find peace in your creator and allow your faith to guide you to personal resoloution and enjoy being a mum for each and every moment that a heart resounds within you. My babies were given a 5% chance at 13 weeks. I was sent home for seven weeks before the next scan and bleed for the next eight. Every day I lay in meditation holding fast to the knowledge that I was being the best mummy I could be in that given moment with my babies. Your children are with you for whatever amount of time is dictated by forces outside your control. Enjoy the knowledge that for today you are mummy to two precious children, directed to your care for the course of their lives, irrespective of the duration, you are blessed.

Love and Light, my new friend

xxxx