What was your turning point?

I am curious when everyone felt like things sort of "clicked" and you had it. I know there are always new challenges, but this beginning stage is so hard, with constant feeding, crying, changing, and getting used to being a twin mom. Our girls are 3.5 wks old and my son is 19 mos. I still haven't had a day with all of them by myself. I just keep telling myself that I can't wait till the twins are 6 months old, when my son is able to enjoy them and I'm able to enjoy them more. When did you all really start enjoying being a twin mom, instead of just going through the motions? I imagine it makes a big difference when they smile at you or when they hold their heads up, but please....need some encouragement and things to look forward to. I don't want to look back and feel like I never enjoyed these first few months!

 

My first relief came when they smiled...maybe 3 months. I was also staying with my mom then so that may have helped too. The biggest and best time was when they learned to sit (about 6 months for us). They would play together and I could cook dinner without them being underfoot. It was also fun starting solids. It kind of broke up the monotony.

 

For me prob just now Mine are 4 months and I love that they finally give me a response when I talk to them. I love to tickle and make them laugh. It is much easier now and I never want to go back to those first couple months. You will get there I promise!

 

:hug: those first weeks/months are so tough! and i didn't have an older one running around on top of everything else. :hug: for me, things started to look up around 12 weeks - three things all happened at around the same time. we figured out the whole BFing thing, the girls started sleeping longer at night & they started smiling! it's been more or less up hill for me since then. i have to say though, that it's only been in the last couple of weeks that i've really really started to enjoy them - i'm finding their current age so interesting & exciting, watching their personalities develop & watching them explore the world & how they fit into it. i think i can confidently say i'm a fan of other people's newborns. looking back though, this time has gone sooo fast - it'll be over before you know it. try to relax & enjoy as much as you can, but cut yourself some slack too - it's a tough time & it's okay to struggle with it.

ETA: missing words.

 

QUOTE(mommymeg @ Apr 6 2009, 04:59 PM) [snapback]1261533[/snapback]
My first relief came when they smiled...maybe 3 months. I was also staying with my mom then so that may have helped too. The biggest and best time was when they learned to sit (about 6 months for us). They would play together and I could cook dinner without them being underfoot. It was also fun starting solids. It kind of broke up the monotony.


We're staying with my parents too, and I honestly don't know how I could have handled all three without my mom's help! But her vacation time is running out, so I've got to be brave soon. At least she keeps my son's monitor at night, so she goes to him when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I love the help, but at the same time, I feel so incapable!!! What will I do when we move back home!!!???

 

QUOTE(Korey @ Apr 6 2009, 05:00 PM) [snapback]1261536[/snapback]
I never want to go back to those first couple months. You will get there I promise!


Thank you. It makes me feel better, because I felt bad for hating this beginning stage!

 

oh thank goodness.... i'm at 3 1/2 weeks too with a 4 year old too and no help at the moment!

 

everything you are feeling is totally normal! :hug: the first few months were a real struggle for me too and i don't have any older kiddos. i have to say i was absolutely terrified the first day i had them all on my own, i had no idea how i was going to do it, but i did and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. you just do what has to be done, and if someone is crying(a lot of the time that someone was me!) you just do what you can. the hardest thing for me to accept was that sometimes someone just had to cry for a few minutes while i was taking care of the other one.

on a happier note, things started to get much better when they started smiling, around 3 months. it totally made me forget how tired i was whenever they giggled or smiled at me. now, at 6 months i am really starting to enjoy it, they just learned how to give kisses-big wet slobbery ones, but they are the best!

overall, i have to say i am not a big fan of the baby stage, i feel bad but i can't wait until they are 1.

i know it is scary, but you can (and will) do it, and in a few months you will be on here telling other new twin moms the very same thing!

 

My turning point was at about 8 weeks when I figured out their cries (hunger/tired). It was still tough, but that was when it started to click.

 

we had preemies with severe acid reflux so it took a long time for us to turn a corner. it was probably around 5 months actual age that we suddenly realized we were spending more time happy than stressed. it took time and a lot of effort getting their reflux meds just right.

 

For me it was about 9 months when they started sleeping through the night, crawling, and cruising. That was when I finally didn't feel exhausted and I started to really enjoy them.

 

Around 7 months when they could both crawl and sit up on their own.

Those first few month were pure hell around here. There was a turning point around 4 months, but it was later that I started to really enjoy it.

 

Im in the same boat too... wondering when it will get better... at least we have this forum to help us know we aren't in it alone. Thanks for sharing your story...

 

I really wondered what I had gotten myself into. But around 4 months the sleeping got better, I could handle once a night instead of 2 or 3. Then at 5 months Id get to sleep 8 hours. Heaven. Then at 6 months they were more indepenent and thats when I really started enjoying it. Mine are 10 months now and loads of fun with their personalities! You can do it. It goes so fast. I dont know if I could ever do it again, especially knowing how hard those first few months are!

 

For us it was little steps along the way. It started getting better at 2.5 months when they started STTN, even better at 3 months when they smiled and I feel like we had got a good rhythm down at 6 months when our naps were figured out.

 

At around 4 months (actual age) things really started to click and I actually began enjoying my new life.

 

I'm trying to survive by thinking of short-term goals. Right now it's the 10-week actual age that I'm working towards, when hopefully Sam and Alex's terrible gas problems will get better! Just another week ...

 

QUOTE(NicoleMarieLG @ Apr 6 2009, 05:36 PM) [snapback]1261608[/snapback]
oh thank goodness.... i'm at 3 1/2 weeks too with a 4 year old too and no help at the moment!



Well if you have no help, then you're stronger than I am! I couldn't imagine no help right now. I just don't know what my 19 month old will do while I'm BFing. It's such a long process, and he's into everything. Plus he's not used to playing alone and we've never really turned cartoons on for him, so I'm terrified that he will climb something while I have the girls latched on. My reflexes won't be what they need to be with two babies attached to me! Keep me posted on your turning points and milestones. It'll be interesting, since our twins are the same age. It's like one of the other posts said...Sometimes I wonder what I've gotten myself into! I used to think one was hard. Now I could do one with one arm tied behind my back and blindfolded!

 

I actually remember the exact hour it got easier. It was the first time my husband and I sat down for dinner. The girls were just 3 months at the time and they were able to sit in their bouncies and be happy long enough for us to have a meal. I looked up and around and realized that we were eating and there was no crying, just peace! At about that same time they dropped one of their night feedings as well. I would say the best were 3 months, 5 months (one baby started STTN for 12 hours) and 8 months when they dropped their third nap and we had much more feedom.

 

About 2.5 months. I only have about a month of 'enjoying' them before I started back to work. Now they are fun almost all the time!

 

QUOTE(Trish13 @ Apr 6 2009, 05:03 PM) [snapback]1261542[/snapback]
What will I do when we move back home!!!???


:youcandoit:

It got easier for me around 5 months when they were sitting on their own and could be entertained with toys for at least 15 minutes. I did not have a 19 month old and the first few months were hard!!!! So I :bow2: you. You are a great mother and can do this! :hug:

 

For me it was when they actually started sleeping through the night and I was able to get more then two hours of sleep at a time. They were about 5 1/2 months. I also stopped pumping around that time and school had finally let out...I am a teacher and was getting up at 5:00 am to go to work...so, them STTN combined with me out for the summer began the turning point for me. They were also more mobile at that time, less fussy, and I really began to be able to enjoy them. It's been a fantastic ride ever since!! Sure, there have been hard times, but NOTHING like the first five months, IMO. Those were by far the hardest!! You'll make it...it will seem like a big fog when its over, but it's a blast on the other side. :hug:

 

For me, I´d say around 6 months. DD cried every day from about 5 weeks through to 6 months and we couldnt go anywhere with her. Then we went the the UK for Christmas and she just seemed to change. She has stranger anxiety (not when she is in the safety of her own home & people respect her space) but she is easy to distract so she soon forgets!

 

I swear that those first few weeks are still a hazy blur. The turning point came when i finally figured out how they "work". What they wanted when and that it was okay to leave them alone for a while. I was so frantic about them dying because they were so tiny i hated being away from them.

 

similar to a pp, when dh and i sat down to dinner. i think about 5 weeks so not long to go for that one! thinking in small steps is what helped us. but it was mainly my achievements rather than theirs!!! my first complete shower, my first succesful trip into town and back and actually buying something too!!! my first nights sleep (that's a way aways yet!)
having a 19m old to add to the mix would be much harder but i do know people who have - and enjoyed it! trying to find routines where your older one can play quietly, or have story time whilst feeding. my eldest is 5 so i didnt have that challenge - but he did watch a lot of dvd's in the early days. and we made sure we went for a walk everyday (even sometimes throwing clothes on over pyjama's (thank god for winter and baggy coats!)) the boys would sleep and dan and i could have some fresh air.
in the long term, i'd say dh and i have been saying from about 8 months that 'this' is the best time and we wish we could stop the clocks.
dont worry about your mum going, you'll find your way and be brilliant. look around now for local clubs or friends with little ones that you can call on.
remember to look after yourself
x

 

I've definitely been there... I think we all have. I think at 3 months things were definitely looking up (getting easier). Now at 4 months we're really starting to enjoy them. We can take them out without fear of complete meltdown every time. They're laughing, smiling, starting to play with toys, etc... It really makes a difference. I think though once they start sleeping better/more regularly and can sit up/crawl things will get a lot better. I think once they hit 3 months you've gotten through the hardest bit. I still enjoyed the first few months but it was things like them being so tiny and cuddly and their little newborn cries. Things I know I will miss as they get older. Just keep reminding yourself this time goes so fast. Sometimes that helps me get through. Other times I'm like come on time...get to movin

 

I have to say I've truly enjoyed every stage from birth to now, and am looking forward to enjoying many years of this! I can't say it's been all wine and roses. I've shed my tears, I've screamed in agony, I've had many many very difficult times, too. I just have tried really hard to focus on the love and pleasure whenever I can, especially during the difficult times.

They grow so fast and if you blink you just might miss something very precious.

When we sent out an e-mail to let family and friends know of the boys' arrival, my aunt replied and said, "enjoy every minute of it, no matter what!" She went on to explain how easy it is to get sidetracked by all the work and difficulties and how they will grow and I'll wake up and realized how much I missed because things were too hectic.

She was right, and still is.

Sometimes when they are both screaming and I want to scream, I call my husband and let him listen and then we both have a big laugh at the whole situation. When things are rough I remember how it was when I didn't think I'd ever have children, and then I look at these little guys and feel so blessed.

There are also many little rewards and treasures throughout the day. In the beginning it was having a satisfied baby (sleeping, fed, and diapered), then the smiles came, and the cooing, then they started gathering more and more strength in their necks and tummy time got easier so now they enjoy it...

A big leap forward in enjoyment came at about 4.5 months when I put them each in an exersaucer facing each other and for the next half hour they squealed at each other in delight, completely ignoring all the features of the toys and focusing on each other. Now they reach for each others' hands in comfort, they laugh when we tickle them, William is pretty much crawling and Ronan isn't far from it, they are making new discoveries every day and I feel so blessed to be witness to all of it!

It really does all happen so fast, and every stage is a new adventure.

 

3 months was good, 6 months was WAY BETTER! Every month is great now....don't worry, it will come before you know it!

 

I've cherished every stage, but I've been able to enjoy more within the 2 months even just because I'm less sleep deprived! My babies will be five months old next week (where the h*ll did time go?!!). I'm definitely not going to blink because time is flying by which makes me sad too. I already miss them being so tiny.

They are so smilely now and do the wiggles with their arms and legs when excited. They coo and 'talk' to us, and play in their exersaucer. They love jumping in their jumperoo. They both grab toys and chew on them. It is so awesome seeing them meet and surpass their milestones.

Things have definitely gotten easier. They are easier to entertain (play with toys, jumperoo, exersaucer, etc). Plus they both have been sleeping through the night or if they do get up, it's only once.

Hang in there!