What was my brother's ex thinking?!

I know they are testing kids earlier for ADD and ADHD, but my niece isn't even in Kindergarten yet and my brother's ex had her tested! She told my brother it was because of our family history of having both conditions and I am like is it hereditary? I was the only one diagnosed with it in my family (ADHD) and I know my mom's mom and sister all are hyperactive, but that can happen to anybody right? Oh that made me so mad! The good news is my niece isn't anywhere near ADHD or ADD at the moment, but they want to follow her. I know I was diagnosed at 9, but I had the signs of it before then. That just made me mad!

Anyways thought I vent...anyone else heard of a child being tested so early?

 

Yes, I have. But you're right....a lot of places won't test until the age of 5.

 

I have to say, your tone is really hurtful. You never know what other people on this board have gone through.

Firstly Yes, we had our son tested at the age of 4. He was not in kindergarten, far from it. He has SEVERE adhd and sensory issues. He was a threat to himself and his twin brothers. He showed signs from the time he was 18 months old that something was wrong. To actually have an ADHD diagnosis, you have to prove that the symptoms were there before the age of seven, so testing young is not a terrible thing to do.

Secondly, there is a HUGE genetic component to ADHD. It is a medical condition. My son is adopted and his bdad and two of his brothers have it..

I am not sure why it makes you so mad to have her tested. As parents, we make a lot of difficult decisions in our lives and going through all the stuff we have had to go through is not easy. Raising Joel is not easy. We are doing the best we can, and I hope your family also has your neices interests in mind.

I am sorry if you think that having young children tested for ADHD is wrong, but just like any other medical condition, why shoud we wait? Why should we sit around and see our son miserable and unhappy and not try to seek help? If he had diabetes or any other condition, wouldn't I be a terribly negligent parent if I didn't seek help? How is this any different?

 

I agree with Christina. Good for them for trying to take care of it at an early age. My 6 year old was just diagnosed for CAPD, I knew something was going on with him this year in Kindergarten and I was right. It is very stressful to think that your child may have some kind of learning disability, you want only the best for your kids and keep them from getting hurt. I am surprised at your attitude, as a person with ADHD, maybe you should be more supportive, and be happy that your niece is ok.

 

I am also confused about why it would make you mad? Most likely she is trying to do the best she can for her child and made the decision in consultation with (and possibly at the recommendation of) her daughter's regular doctor. If her doctor brought up some concerns and recommended that she have her daughter tested, why does that make you mad?

 

If her doctor recommended it,even if he didn't I personally think its never too early to spot something. I think your hurt b/c she mentioned it could be coming from your family if he has any issues. She shouldn'ty have said that...its not nice to even think it.

Don't be mad....just let this one blow in thge wind. Thankfully the child is ok.And remember some people just want to have a medically diagnosed illness to explain things they cannot control about there kids. Its called my nephews wife!Shes proud her oldest boy had some serious issues.

 

My cousins kid was just diagnosed ADHD. He's in kindergarten.

I have also heard it can be hereditary. It is in my family to a small degree too.

 

My DD is diagnosed with ADHD, and she had to repeat a year of kindergarden because they diagnosed too late. By the time we realized what was going on, she already was to far behind in her first year of kindergarden to fix it that year so she had to repeat it. Now she is a year behind in school, but doing very very well, and is an A+ student.

ADHD is an illness...I don't understand why you are mad that she is addressing her concerns...even if it seems too early? I wish we would have found out earlier about my DD, then she would be in the right grade, and with her friends who are now a year ahead of her.

 

I am definitey concerned with ADD. My DH had it as a child. He was taking Ritalin (sp?) when in Kindergarten. He was even had to repeat the kindergarten. My sister also had the same problem. She didn't have Ritalin, but definite learning disabilities. She also repeated kindergarten. She never really had good grades, and she ended up dropping out in 10th grade. Although, she functions good in society and you would think her as intelligent. If my parents were more in tune to our needs when we were younger, I think she could have gone further in her schooling. Just my opinion. She has a son that is struggling in school (he is 13). He showed signs of ADD, but she didn't do anything either (like my parents). I am definitely keeping my eyes open with DD and DS. I will gladly have them tested prior to kindergarten if it is necesary.

 

quote:
And remember some people just want to have a medically diagnosed illness to explain things they cannot control about there kids.


I am hoping you were not referring to anyone here, or that ADHD is a behaviour problem, rather than a medical one... I have heard that plenty of times from people, and it is one of those things that is extremely hurtful to parents with kids like my son. Just because he doesn't have a physical disability, doesn't mean he doesn't have a disability at all.

quote:
Although, she functions good in society and you would think her as intelligent.


Just so you know, ADHD people on average have above average IQ's and are highly intelligent individuals. Sometimes that makes it even harder to turn you brain off, since the neurons are firing like crazy!

 

I agree with previous posters about if you suspect a problem it is never too early to get tested or seek treatment. If you suspect something is wrong with your child why wouldn't you seek help instead of waiting. And ADD/ADHD is hereditary, it definitely does run in families.

Good for them for being proactive and for following her. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

Both of my older dd's are ADD or ADHD. They are both extremely intelligent and displayed signs at a young age. Unfortunately, no one took me seriously until my oldest was in kindergarten. She was a constant target of bullies because she was very "different" from them socially. She had a pretty severe anxiety disorder with her ADHD that required therapy. She literally couldn't climb stairs out of fear for two years. My younger dd had serious impulse control issues by three and still has anxiety problems with public bathrooms. She figured out how to unlock the window safety locks we added to our 9th floor apartment windows in Japan in addition to the normal locks and was tossing things out the window to see if they could fly. Thank God their ped, who was also ADHD, saw the signs early and helped us get into a parenting class designed for these kids as well as got her on meds by the age of 4. I'll never forget the first time my oldest took her first ritalin. She was able to color in the lines for the first time in her life. She came running to me with her picture out of a coloring book and said, "Mommy! LOOK! I can stay in the lines now! My hands aren't too fast now!" She was only five and noticed a difference the first day.
I am always disheartened by other parents who are so quick to judge. Until you have personally lived with an unmedicated child with ADD/HD try to be more simpathetic. It's not a joke and it's not fun. I am contstantly hounded by the thought that I have to be super vigilant when it comes to my kids' emotional health. They are more prone to depression and anxiety than most kids. If left untreated, they are more likely to self medicate as they get older or worse. We currently live in a rigid routine as they are likely to have a melt down if they can't predict what comes next in their day. Too many choices are too overwhelming with some of these kids and I was blessed with two.
Dh and I are/were ADD/HD as children. We still suffer from alot of problems stemming from it. I learned to cope and hide my issues as a child out of necessity. The doctors told my mom that I was just "too smart" for my own good and got bored easily. They made her feel ridiculous for claiming that I had a problem. I wonder now if I would have done better if I was on medication but I guess I will never know. My twins, at the age of two, are easier combined than either one of my sigletons were by themselves at any age.

 

Okay.

I think is a very touchy issue for some parents, and understandably so. Its not easy raising a child with a medical disorder, ADD, ADHD, or otherwise.

Im not too sure why you are mad at her doing this. I do hate to point this out, but she is her mother. Is it maybe that you dont like her, or the decisions she makes for her kids? As much as I love my nieces and nephews, I would never presume to know whats best for them over thier own parents judgement. There is nothing wring with sharing your opinions at all, since I know you must love them so much. Inevitably, if she feels there is a reason to be concerned, she should be lucky she got a dr to listen to her, and take her seriously. Some of the moms here it seems had to fight for thier kids to be evaluated. I never think a mother should be unheard, or ignored if she feels there is something wrong with her children. I think some drs can be bufooned egomaniacs in that area, thinking they know best.

I was misdiagnosed with Lymes Disease as a kid. Later to find out it was Rheumatoid Arthrits. There were many years of pain that I could have missed if that dr could only have double checked, second guessed and gotten off hus high horse. Doctors DONT know everything...esp when it comes to the day to day observences we as parents are able to whitness.

Hon, dont be mad. She sounds like she was doing it for a good reason. If you could maybe tell us why you are so mad thar may help us understand. Im sorry if you also felt like you are being attacked...trust me, I hve been there. But, when it comes to kids, babies, and sicknesses (no matter what it is), there are many factors you have to think of before posting.

Good luck.