I've been on bed rest about 3 weeks now...started off as modified and now it's strict due to elevated BP and protein in the urine... along with a positive Ffn test. I have a 3 year old so my main concern before going on BR was how we were going to change his life as little as possible. Fortunately my DP has a flexible job so she was going to stay home mornings and then I'd do naptime with my son and my Mom would come check on us in the late afternoon. That schedule has been working out really well... I mean, I'm really frustrated that I can't be active, but we are making it. But today my DP totally went off on me about how she can't handle this anymore and that she wishes we would have gotten a nanny because I expect too much from her and I felt like it was totally out of nowhere. Yes, she is doing most of the household chores (which I usually do) and more of the caregiving of our son (which I usually do)...but she was mad at ME for us being in this position. She said, "If it gets any worse than this when the babies get here, I won't be able to handle it." UMMM...it is going to be a million times worse!!!! This is a semi-vacation before they come... Anyways...I've been crying off and on for hours and I don't need this! Seriously, I just need people to suck it up for a little longer!!!! I would trade places in a SECOND.... carrying these babies and feeling like crap most of the day is no picnic!!!
:hug: Love you, Mel. I can't imagine balancing bedrest, stress about keeping them in, keeping yourself comfortable and sane AND keeping O happy. DH was pretty stressed when I was on bedrest and then he had several 'gone postal' moments about how he couldn't help anymore than he already was (which, IMO, was exceedingly limited) in the early weeks/months at home. It made me feel really manipulated b/c I felt like I was doing everything already. I'm really sorry you're feeling stressed, emotional. Feel free to call if you need to vent.
:hug: I TOTALLY know how you are feeling. I am 32.4 weeks and have been on modified bedrest since 29 weeks and I have a 2yr old. 3 days ago I was having contractions every 5-6 minutes and was in the hospital for a good part of the night with terbutaline and procardia and luckily the contractions finially stopped and I only got to 2cm and 60%. Was discharged with procardia every 8hrs, which gives me the WORST headaches. I'm lucky so far that I'm not on strict bedrest (that has got to be SO hard for you :hug: ), but it just brakes my heart to hear my 2yr old saying all day "wanna go bye bye" "wanna go to park" and other things, and try to explain to him that momma can't do that right now and to attempt to entertain him with movies, singing, reading, coloring ect. but only works for so long. But then today on the way home from ANOTHER doctors appointment my husband was saying how tired HE WAS and that he hasn't been sleeping well and that he had so many things to do from the to-do list that I made. Maybe I'm just being hormonal or something else :grr: ..... but having to go grocery shopping, mowing the yard, fixing small things around the house, ect. sounds a hell of a lot better than what I've been stuck doing for the past month and how I've been feeling. Ok sorry.... just had to vent a little bit. But you are doing SO AWESOME!!!! And you are doing everything you need to be doing. Not to much longer. :yahoo:
QUOTE(stephi @ May 29 2009, 10:31 PM) [snapback]1333766[/snapback] :hug: I TOTALLY know how you are feeling. I am 32.4 weeks and have been on modified bedrest since 29 weeks and I have a 2yr old. 3 days ago I was having contractions every 5-6 minutes and was in the hospital for a good part of the night with terbutaline and procardia and luckily the contractions finially stopped and I only got to 2cm and 60%. Was discharged with procardia every 8hrs, which gives me the WORST headaches. I'm lucky so far that I'm not on strict bedrest (that has got to be SO hard for you :hug: ), but it just brakes my heart to hear my 2yr old saying all day "wanna go bye bye" "wanna go to park" and other things, and try to explain to him that momma can't do that right now and to attempt to entertain him with movies, singing, reading, coloring ect. but only works for so long. But then today on the way home from ANOTHER doctors appointment my husband was saying how tired HE WAS and that he hasn't been sleeping well and that he had so many things to do from the to-do list that I made. Maybe I'm just being hormonal or something else :grr: ..... but having to go grocery shopping, mowing the yard, fixing small things around the house, ect. sounds a hell of a lot better than what I've been stuck doing for the past month and how I've been feeling. Ok sorry.... just had to vent a little bit. But you are doing SO AWESOME!!!! And you are doing everything you need to be doing. Not to much longer. :yahoo: It's nice to see I'm not alone!! Not that I'd wish these feelings on anyone Hang in there..we're almost there!!!!
:hug: I am so sorry that your DP is making you feel guilty for doing everything you can to make sure your babies are safe. Bedrest is hard enough as it is, without the added pressure and guilt. I'm sure your DP is just overwhelmed. Is there anyone else that can come help you to alleviate some of her responsibilities, even if it is just for a couple of days so she can get some time to herself? Good Luck Momma! You are doing a great job!! :hug:
I hear you!! My DH acts like he is some kind of hero for doing "everything" (he doesn't) while I am on bedrest. He recently had one "gone postal" episode where is expressed his frustration and very unfairly took it out on me. He feels like he was suddenly thrown into this position and it's not fair, but guess what, I was too. I also would trade jobs with him in a heartbeat because feeling like crap and being so uncomfortable is no picnic, like you said. They just don't get it. All I can say is to try to keep the perspective that when your DP is getting angry at you, she is really angry about the situation that you're both in. I think that is an important distinction. On some level, I think she knows it. Hang in there, you won't be on bedrest forever. Wishing you good thoughts for peace in the family.
I thought I should update since my rant of a week ago.... THANKFULLY, things have settled down and it took a couple of days to sort out where all of her emotion was coming from. She just deals with her emotions different than me and she is just as worried about the health of our babies and with our changing life as I am... she just took it out in the "wrong" way... We are definitely in better spirits around here...and I recommended (aka required) that she not vent like that at least until after the babies are here because I can't take that stress right now!!!
Don't forget, your DP is worried about all 3 of you too and stressed. DEFINITELY see if you can find someone to come in and clean (I'm sure it will be worth the cost...and keep the maid until at least 6 weeks post partum) and suggest more frozen dinners and other timesavers. You can do it! :hug:
