Okay, both my girls have reflux, so propping their bottles is not an option. What do I do when they are both crying at the same time and/or are both wanting to eat at the same time? My DH is in the hospital and will be for at least another 2 weeks. Here's the story with that... On January 31, 2008, my husband and I were blessed with twin girls, Zoe and Payton. I delivered them via c-section. All was well, until Zoe began having terrible tummy troubles and ended up with pyloric stenosis and severe pyloris spasms and reflux. She was in the hospital recently for a week, when they decided to do surgery. On the morning of the same day that she had her surgery, I received a phone call from my husband's work saying he had fallen 12 feet from a ladder and was being rushed to to the hospital. It turned out that he had a collapsed lung, fractured collar bone, four fractured ribs, and worst of all, a head laceration which has caused a brain injury. This was 2 1/2 weeks ago, on March 4th. Friday, he was transferred to Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation, where he will receive physical, occupational, speech and cognitive therapy. Meanwhile, I just got home on Wednesday from the hospital with Zoe, and I am having to re-learn how to be a mom of twins all over again--this time without my husband. I feel as though someone has cut off one of my arms. Thursday, I returned to work so that I can continue to provide health insurance for my family, in addition to a small paycheck so that we can still eat and have a roof over our heads. I am dreading going home today, as I don't know what to do to soothe them when they both start crying at the same time and/or when they are wanting to eat at the same time. The moment I get one calmed down, the other starts crying and wakes the one I just got calmed down. HELP!!! What do I do? I feel like a terrible mom! Why can't I get the hang of this? Any helpful advice would be so much appreciated! HELP!!!
:hug: I'm sorry all that is happening to you at once! :hug: Is there anyone who you could call to help? Are you involved at all in a church or other organization that could help you?
First of all, so sorry to hear about your DH. I hope he comes home soon and recovers well. I am often alone with my twins...my DS was also a NICU baby for the first week after they were born, and the first day we brought him home, my fiancee had to sleep most of the afternoon and work all night. He continues to work overnight, so three or four hours out of every day I have help, but that's all. I was incredibly overwhelmed as a first-time mom and then overwhelmed as a twin mom also. Bouncers and swings are my lifesavers. My little ones are now two months old, and are ALWAYS soothed by a vibrating bouncer...so when I feed one, and the other cries, I stop mid-feed to pick the other up and put him/her in the bouncer, and bounce and talk to him/her as I feed the other. It's been incredibly helpful when Mommy is all alone. I'm sure you will find other ways to deal with your two angels on your own. You're the Mommy! And that means you have the strength to do it all! Keep us posted!
wow, you really have your hands full! i'm so sorry you are going through all of this! :hug: i hope your DH makes a full and speedy recovery, how scary. my only bit of advice would be to try bouncy seats or swings to calm one while you are feeding one. or, if you have 2 boppys your could put one on each side of you on the couch and hold both bottles(this is what i do, propping never worked for me). even if you didn't want to feed at the same time, you could still have them both next to you and it might be easier to soothe the one that isn't being fed if she is right there... i'm sure you are totally overwhelmed right now, but you can do it! it might just take you a few days to get back into the swing of things. and like pp said, if there is anyone you can ask to come lend a hand, that would be great.
Yikes, you've had it tough! But you are not a terrible mom, you're an overwhelmed mom of twins! Try to get some help if possible -- help right now doesn't mean that you won't be able to handle things later. :hug:
Omgosh! You poor thing! I can't believe what happened to your husband! :hug: And little Zoe! :hug: As for the feeding...I had two refluxers, and it was possible to feed my two at the same time. What I did was get everything ready(bottles, burp cloths, etc), get a regular bed pillow, and lay it on my lap, place the babies head to head so that they could see me, and feed them that way. I burped them individually as they needed it, although I did burp them both at the same time a few times! The pillow allowed them to be at a good angle for the reflux. With that all said though, I can't believe you are also working through all of this! I agree with PP, reach out and try and get some help until things calm down and you aren't feeling so overwhelmed. :grouphug:
Wow - I'm sorry this is all happening to you! Talk to anyone you can and see if there is a neighbor with kids who can come and help out, or some relative like a teenage neice or ?? We have no family around and I know what it's like to feel completely overwhelmed. Google your town and "Moms clubs" and see if you can find a group for support, as well as looking for twins groups in your area.... I'd suggest getting 2 vibrating bouncy seats (check craigslist) so that you have a way to have both sitting up at once. Mine have reflux too (but not that bad) and in a pinch I can at least give them both a little bit from the bottle to pacify them enough to keep the crying to a minimum. Last night at 2 am I had both crying at once while my husband was peacefully sleeping away and the bottle warmer overheated the bottles so I had to wait until they cooled down.... what worked for me was putting one in a sling-type baby carrier and holding the other while I got the bottles ready. The sling really calmed one down since it's like being in the womb again with the bouncing while you walk. (As for your husband, make sure he files a workers comp claim ASAP with his company so he can get at least partial wages started so you don't feel as stressed about money... ) Hang in there, I know this is a really, really rough time right now....(((((HUGS)))))!!!!!!! :hug:
Sometimes you feed the noisiest one first. Try propping them both up with pillows behind them. I remember someone on here saying to rub the one baby's foot who is waiting... just to let them know you are there. You are hitting the fussiest age as well, so often no matter what you do they will cry and sometimes for no reason. Just let them know you are there and talk to them calmly. I think as a twin mom we quickly get used to there always being a baby crying (esp. during those early months) so you listen past the crying and just give them quality attention and not always Quantity attention. Trust me when they get older they will likely have more patience than singleton babies. NO MOMMY GUILT !!! Just think you have years from now to feel guilty and they can go to therapy... hehe for now enjoy holding them because it is only for such a short time 1/2 a year really and they will want to be independent. I would tell myself that if I need to use the bathroom, shower, or get something to eat myself I would just have to let them cry a bit. You still have to look after yourself first. Heather
QUOTE(smitch @ Mar 23 2009, 09:57 PM) [snapback]1241302[/snapback] Okay, both my girls have reflux, so propping their bottles is not an option. What do I do when they are both crying at the same time and/or are both wanting to eat at the same time? Wow, you all have been through so much. I think the first few feedings are the hardest and then you will gain some confidence in what works and how much you can take on. I agree with Becky in that both of mine had reflux and I too was able to feed them at the same time. Although, it was not the ideal situation, when they were really small I would get everything ready and have it waiting so that when they started to fuss I just had to add the formula and shake. Then I would put them both in the boppy on the couch and sit next to them and feed them. And yes, when I had to burp one the other one did cry but that is just the way it goes sometimes. Babies cry! As they got a bit older, I could feed them in bouncy chairs and sometimes I even used a bottle propper. I would just sit there and when one had to burp the other could use the bottle prop and then the screaming was minimized. There are tons of ways to feed them both at the same time. You might just have to get creative. I hope things get a bit less chaotic for you and your DH's recovery goes smooth. I totally agree with the pps to look into any help you can get. Maybe a high school kid after school might be nice too. :hug:
First of all, I am so sorry your husband is ill, that just makes it all harder--but you can do it! Second, it is OK for them to cry. Once you accept that one baby will have to cry, it just makes it so much less stressful! We had a rule in our house, he who cried first, ate first. If they both cried at the same time Jonathan always ate first, since he ate faster. In your case, I would probably feed Zoe first, just because of not wanting to wear her out after her surgery. Good luck, and you can do it. Best wishes to your DH for a quick recovery!
I am so sorry to hear about your DH :hug: I wish him a speedy recovery! You have a lot on your plate right now Momma and you are not a bad mother. I would agree with pp's, is there someone who can come and help you out from time to time? Sometimes one baby will have to cry while you tend to the other one. I do agree that if you cannot feed both at the same time, feed Zoe first and if a bouncy or swing will keep your son occupied while she eats, have him hang out in there. You might also want to try feeding them in their bouncy and swings with you facing them in the middle and trying to feed them the same time that way. Good luck!
I am so sorry you are going through all this at once! Lots of :hug:! My DH was deployed when the boys were 2 months. I was on my own for 2 months (though I did escape to my parent house 9hrs away for some help for a few weeks). The only way I survived was feeding the boys in their car seats. At night they slept on DH's side of the bed in their car seats. I had everything I needed right there to feed them so I could go right back to sleep. It was exhausting, but I did it and so can you!
I've always since day one fed mine at the same time and they both have severe reflux if you have a recliner just put them on both sides of you with their head at your knee and prop them up with your knees and that way you can hold their bottles with both hands
