What should I say?

Every time I am around one particular friend,she always makes comments how I am always holding Isabella. I explain to her that right now she is the needier of the two. However she reacts by never holding Isabella and always holding Jackson. It hurts my feelings that she shuns my daughter because she is extra needy right now. When I place photos on facebook she only comments about Jackson. What gives? Should I say something else to her?

 

First, just a logistical thought. How can she hold your daughter when you are holding her? That may be why she never holds your daughter.

I don't know if I would say anything much. Maybe just my daughter is more needy or just giving her the brush off. I do that sometimes if I don't like what folks say. I say OK, and move on to the next topic.

 

If this is a good friend, I would let her know that it is okay to hold Isabella and if she wants to, just ask. Perhaps she thinks that if Isabella is the more needier one then she might not feel comfortable holding her. I would also ask her why she just comments on Jackson's photos.
DH and I went through a similar situation, when the kiddos were little, it seemed like DD got all the attention and DS was kind of ignored. Then I would make a huge fuss about him and then situation was rectified. Good luck!

 

Sadly, my MIL does this with one of my DD's. I work at night and she goes over a lot to help my husband out. She wears perfume every night. When I go in to get the girls in the morning, one of my dd's smells like her and the other one doesn't AT ALL! It's awful! I feel so bad for my other daughter. I tell my husband to purposely pick up or feed my dd that my MIL is always all over, but somehow she always gets her. He can't say anything to her because she is hypersensitive and will take it the wrong way. The dd that she is all over looks like my husbands side of the family and the one she ignores definately looks like my side of the family. I really and truly believe that's why she has chosen her as her favorite. I feel bad for my other daughter and have really resented my MIL over this.

 

If it's bothering you I think I'd say something.

 

I would do like pp said & just say "If you want to hold Isabella I'm sure she would be fine with it" or something like that. Maybe since you've said she's the needier of the two she feels like Isabella would be more comfortable with you. Otherwise, knowing me, I would just ignore it although it would probably irritate me.

 

I was more protective when the girls were younger to get equal attention. Now that they are older I am not that way. I think now I see that different kids have different personalities just like adults that people are drawn too. I noticed when my mom was here how she seemed to be drawn more to my one daughter and my dad to my other daughter. I know I think those solid looking, energetic little toddler boys are adorable .... and I'm less attracted to a more quiet toddler boy.

I guess if you see your friend often and she is a constant part of their lives I might try to find a way to say something. Someone like a grandmother though can be drawn more to one, but I think grandparents should try to keep things equal with all their grandkids -- just like parents try to.

hEATHER