What is your response...

I cant tell you how many times when I am out a stranger will come up and say 'Ahhh Twins....you have your hands full'. Never quite sure what to respond.

What do you say when people make these comments ?

 

i say "you're telling me." or "you don't have to tell me that." say it with a laugh and usually you can keep walking without having to stop and answer all of the same old follow up questions.

 

I usually say "Full and loving it" or "We wouldn't have it any other way" and just keep walking. I know they're just trying to make conversation, so I try not to let it bother me. The one that actually bothers me is, "Oh I always wanted to have twins". Seems random to me.

Laura

 

Hi i just say" ah theyre great im just busy and loving it " the one that piss-s me of is i know what its like ive only 18 months (or whatever)between mine its so not at all the same as having 2 newborns doing the exact same thing at the same time !!!!

 

I always say something like "yep! full of fun" and keep on going. There are days where I will stop and let my kids be admired, because, hey, I am proud of them and they love the attention. There are others where I just give a curt answer and get on my way. I think people just want to say something, and they don't know how to start the conversation. I probably said the same kinds of things before I had twins.

 

I am realllllyyyyy good at not looking at anyone when I am out and about! Especially at that age-I looked downward, or at the babies themselves, to avoid conversation. It really depended on my mood overall though. But I can spot someone a mile away who is talking about my kids, even now. It's actually quite amusing to watch people in a conversation, look at us coming, and mouth something to whoever they are with. You have NO idea what is said, but have a really good idea when they start turning around and smiling at you. :laughing:

When they were really little, I just wanted to be on my merry way before it was mealtime, or naptime, or whatever. Now, the boys aren't in a stroller anymore, and I have Annabella as well. Add glasses to the boys-and well-we are still turning heads! :laughing: I am glad my kids seem to make other people smile.

As for comments-I just say, "Yes he did" and keep it short!

 

I always say, "My heart's full" and keep walking.

 

Call me odd, but I've never minded the attention too much! I've always just said, "Yeah, we do!" Because, really....we DO!

Twins are a handful (a heck of a lot more than a handful!) - and I've never felt that it was a negative statement about twins. Just a fact. :laughing:

 

agreed, i think for the most part people are trying to be friendly and they don't realize you've heard it a million times before. i try not to make my exasperation their problem, which is why i've tried to work out a way to politely respond and keep moving so i don't have to stop every time someone wants to say hello.

these days i'm less exhausted and less frazzled, and i'm so proud of the way my boys say hi and "talk" to people that i'm happy to have the conversation.

 

Usually nothing just give them a smile But sometimes when I am up to it I will say "and so is my heart."

 

Like Sara I usually smile and laugh and say something along the lines of "that's for sure" or "you're telling me" while not stopping to further engage them. I get that comment at least once every time we go anywhere. Sometimes I will stop and let them fawn over my "adorables" (as their Nanny calls them), especially if they are older and don't display any outward appearance of mental instability (I live downtown and have encountered many colourful "characters" on our walks/errands). I do try to remember that they don't realize I've heard the same comments almost every day for the past 10 months and try to keep things light and brief when people stop us. But like Meg there are days when I am in no mood to stop and chat and my body language makes that pretty obvious.

 

I always say "Well, they're really good babies." (Which they are!! And I *know* how lucky I am! )

 

'Sure do, you want to take them for the day and help me out?'

 

I sometimes said, "at least I have hands" and walked off.

 

I say, "Sometimes, but most days they are awesome!" Those comments just don't bother me because really and truly most people just don't understand. I honestly think that people know how hard one is and just can't imagine having two at once.

 

I don't mind that comment because I feel like people can admire us twin moms for our strength and resilience. I just say "we love it that way!". My hubby always says "just one would be boring". The question that bothers me is "oh, a boy and a girl...does that mean you're done?" Seriously, because that's the goal in having kids, to have one of each?!? Pisses me off.

 

Same here. It doesn't bother me at all that people want to admire our boys and comment on them. We work hard for our boys and I think its nice when somebody wants to give us props for it To be quite honest I've never understood why some twin moms get so annoyed with seemingly innocuous comments. I figure the people making the comments are just trying to be nice, even if they sometimes say strange/stupid things. Though sleep deprivation in those early days can understandably cause some mommas to have little patience.

 

Usually I say something like..."yes, I am so lucky" or "yup, we have so much fun". When I really need to get in and out of places, and I remember this vividly with little babies, I avoid eye contact and look in a hurry. Depends if I am on a mission. I remember the few times I made it out in the earlier days I loved the attention from strangers (as long as they didn't touch.) I know this sounds weird, but I was so isolated that being out in the world for the most part felt like I had a big family wanting to hug us all...of course they cared more for my babies. Thank you to all those "grandma" strangers who helped me through those days!!! Heh heh.

 

I always say, "they are a lot of fun!" I don't know what else to say I guess. This happened at least 12 times yesterday because we had to go on a few errands and I FORGOT MY STROLLER! The girls can't walk in a parking lot because they will just dawdle and it will take us 6 years to get into the store so I swing my purse on my shoulder and hang on tight to two 23 lb little monster. I'm sure I look ridiculous and people don't know what else to say!

It does drive me a little bonkers when people ask "are they twins?" after examining them for a moment. They look the same, are dressed the same, and are the exact same size. It mostly makes me laugh, because I have said "no" a couple times and people always look confused. Oh the ways I entertain myself...

 

I know!! I have a close friend told me " it seems like a breeze for you that both of them eat and sleep at the same time. It was so hard for me when my boys were little, they are a year apart!" agh, how should I respond to that especially she's my close friend??

 

Yea, she doesn't get it! Maybe her situation is/was hard for her, but clearly in different way.

As for the original post, I usually smile and laugh and say, "I get that a lot." Most people are just in awe that we can handle two. And, frankly, I'm in awe that my triplet mom friends handle three!

 

Thank you, we feel very lucky. Big smile.

 

Ugh..my MIL likes to say this too. She has a friend whose daughter has a 5 month old and a 2 year old and likes to say that the friend's daughter has it harder than I do. When one baby is crying and you can't get to him right away because you're taking care of the other baby, its definitely harder than one infant and a toddler.

I don't mind the "You have your hands full" comment because I feel like the person is acknowledging that twins are tough. I got a comment today "Better you than me!" and that really annoyed me.

 

'better full than empty' usually works well

 

We get stopped alot - and i dont seem to mind (provided that i have had my coffee for the day, and enough sleep the night before).

To the question" boy you must sure have your hands full" - i usually reply " yeah - a little bit!" or "its kind of like being in the circus - you learn to juggle really well and entertain at a moments notice"

I know people are just trying to be nice ..... and trying to make conversation.
What i dont understand is why people feel they HAVE to do this to parents of twin / triplets and not to just any parent - - - or even to just stop and be nice to each other.