What is your discipline strategy for the almost-two-year-old crowd?I

Both my husband and I have read 1-2-3 Magic and agree that it will be a great approach in time. However, on a very basic level, we have been trying to implement the counting and time-out strategy for our kiddos who are almost 22 months. Sometimes just the act of counting will work and they will stop whatever they are doing.

Yet, we are wondering if they are still just too young for time-outs (I know most guidance is that TO's work after the age of two...however, if they know that what they are doing is naughty, then shouldn't they also understand the idea of a TO?) The problem is that we cannot get them to stay in TO and it becomes either a game or a battle.

So, what are you doing for your kiddos in terms of discipline right now...simple redirection? It just seems that if they stand on the couch with purpose, waiting with a naughty twinkle in their eye for you to look at them, then they are mature enough to understand the consequences. Maybe we are expecting too much?

(And by the way, I give TOTAL props to all of you SAHMs...I was alone both days this weekend with the kiddos. I have no idea how I would manage the discipline if I was home with them all day, every day!! You guys are amazing and must be very patient!!!!)

 

How long have you been using 123 Magic? We also started around 22 months and it took about a good 2 weeks before my boys would stay in time outs. You have to be VERY consistant.

Now that they are over 2 (28 months) I'm finding 123 Magic not as useful esp. at other people's homes or in public. What has been is the Super Nanny approach. If they are doing something I don't want them to do, I will tell them "if you do (or don't do) ___________ that again, you are going in time out".

For example:

I've been having a hard time getting them in the house when playing in the yard. I will bring them to the front porch and they will run back to the yard. I will tell them "in the house or time out", and most of the time they will come running and go into the house. If they don't, I carry them in, put them in time out and when they are done I explain why I put them there.

My one son will go to time out by himself when I tell him to. My other son I have to take and put him there, but once he's there, he will stay put.

 

I agree with Judy, whatever discipline method you use, be consistent with it. During age 1, I did not use 1-2-3 Magic but what I did was set up what behaviors were time out worthy (in our house:hitting, biting, pushing) and what behaviors I could teach the kids not to do. For example, with the couch, I would have to constantly remind the kids the couch is for sitting and not playing. When they would act up on the couch, I would tell them "sit nice" and some times have to do it over and over again. When I had to do TO's, I would take them into another room (like the kitchen), sit them on my lap not facing me and we both stare at the wall for a minute. That seemed to help as my two got to be in the later ones. Now, I don't have to do TO's as much but when I do, I send them to their room for a couple of minutes and that seems to be enough time for them to calm down and for me to calm down as well.
Discipline is hard! :hug:

 

when i first started TOs with the girls, they also would not stay in place. for the first while, i would sit next to their time out mat, and without making eye contact or otherwise interacting with them, each & every time they would move off the mat, i would calmly pick them up & put them back on. now they stay without any additional attention. it did take some time though. i also like Nancy's suggestion of sitting with them facing away from you. i think the key is to have as little reaction from you as possible (which can be seriously hard if your blood is boiling!) but the more reaction/interaction they get from you, the more they'll want to continue to elicit that.

 

I'm finding discipline to be really challenging at this age. My guys just do not get the concept of timeout, and we are having serious toy-throwing that I need to nip in the bud. I feel like redirection is starting to not work either, but they're not quite ready to understand cause-and-effect (you throw, you get punished).

My strategy right now is to warn them, (if you throw a toy at someone, you get it taken away), then follow through. I do a lot more "toy timeouts" than "boy timeouts". One night I had to take every book away from them because of throwing. :faint:

Honestly, I think the best strategy right now is just to *have* a strategy. For me, it's more about controlling my reactions (not getting mad or yelling), and knowing what to do when they misbehave so that *I* don't get frustrated. I know discipline will get easier when they understand better, so I just need to get through this "phase".

Good luck!

 

My strategy is praying. LOL! My boys are behaving pretty bad lately, and I used a crib or pack-n-play for time out, but they escape that and I'm way to pregnant to be lifting them up over and over.

We are not having fun times at our house, and did I mention the bedtime hell and the constant fighting. :angry: :angry:

 

I haven't started 123 Magic to the letter yet, but I do follow it loosely in that I do count and I do use time out. I haven't had the issue with them getting out of time-outs. I think one of their feet hit the ground once and I gave them the look of death. I think the things that have helped time-out work for us is that I use a bench for time-out that they have a hard time getting off of. It is actually a footstool, but when I put their backs all the way to the wall, their feet don't come anywhere near the ground. I completely ignore them while they are in time-out. At first they tried to get my attention, now they don't even try. I'm not sure if any of that helps you or not. Just wanted to let you know that we have definitely found time-outs to be effective. They understand them, they change their behavior. We have been doing time out for probably 4 months. GL!