What is the ONE bit of advice you would give a new twinfant mommy?

Other getting them on the same feeding and sleep schedule.........

 

Make sure your DH helps you - even if he has to work he should still help you with all the night feedings. Your day is just as stressful as his - even if you don't leave the house!

Oh - and buy a crockpot - it is the only way that you both will be able to eat a hot meal!

 

Don't panic when someone cries. Crying will happen, and there is only one of you and two of them. No baby was ever hurt by having to cry for 5 minutes while you change their brother/sisters diaper first or warm up a bottle. And have a positive attitude, just remember - it could be worse than it is, but it's not.

 

NEVER turn away any help from anyone! Evah!!!

 

Screaming into a pillow is an acceptable form of emotional output. In all seriousness, I never thought that the first few months would be so emotionally and physically draining no matter how many people told me so. And sometimes I just needed a good cry to make it all feel better. So make sure you take care or yourself too.

 

I was going to say the same thing about the crying...

2nd i guess would be, keep a journal of feeding amts. and times at the very least, it's usefull to also keep track of poops and sleeping times...

 

Ditto Amanda - to help the help, keep a simple log/notebook. Seriously, if anyone asks if they can help - just say yes and schedule a time for them to come by even if it's just for 30 minutes. There is always someting.

For the log, just jot down (or ask someone to write it for you) timing of feedings, medication, sleep, whatever might be needed for each baby separately. It makes handing off one or both a lot easier. DH and Dear Helpers never had to guess which baby needed feeding if I crashed. And I would just hand the notebook to the pediatrician during the many early visits when she asked how they were eating/sleeping. (I would have never remembered - I was like a vampire.)

If you can budget for it, invest in professional help/babynurse for overnight. You can also try night owl family or close friends for extra support before the babies sleep through "the night". Teenage/20-something cousins are great for this.

And unless they're preemies, try not to worry about multiple visitors, germs, etc. You will need more help than you can imagine and hand sanitizer does work.

The notebook really made the chaos a lot more manageable. I never thought I would use something like that since I'm not one of those organized list-makers.

Hope that helps - congratulations!

 

Schedules are good, but don't panic if you have a day (or a week) when the schedule is completely shot. Until about 2 months, if you are keeping them fed, clean, warm, and safe, you are doing great. Everything else can wait.

 

Try to schedule yourself some YOU time with no babies. Even if it is just 20 minutes to relax in a bath while someone else takes care of the babies but you will definately need some time for just you that you can relax and destress for a moment.

 

I know this is a very individual choice, but I HIGHLY recommend breastfeeding your twins if you can. Once we got through the hard part (first month), it has been a lifesaver for me. You can comfort two screamers at once almost instantly, AND you minimize the extra work and $$$ involved in dealing with all those bottles and formula!

 

walk away to a quiet place (I usually will go to my walk in closet and shut the door) and slowly count from 10 to 1 when the moment gets unbearable.........

 

Be prepared to loose quit a bit of sleep... and have stupid arguments in the middle of the night with DH, LOL

 

Sleep when the babies are sleeping, even though there may be a million things to do...sleep.

 

Take a shower...Like pper said, letting the babies cry a few minutes is worth it.
Get yourself out of the house with or w/o the babies....It is great to get the babies used to being in the carseats and stroller. You'll feel like you haven't totally lost yourself.
Stay hydrated. Drink a glass of water at ever feeding.
Remember to eat.

If you nurse, buy a twin nursing pillow. Best $50 I ever spend.
I would contradict what others say...don't both with the log...IF there isn't pee and/or poop in most diapers, its a problem.\
Don't heat bottles. Most babies are fine with unheated bottles, even out of the refrig. The SCN just told us to put the bottles in a bowl of warm water for a minutes. It has worked fine.

 

You may feel guilty about not having enought time playing with them and holding them as infants. Don't. After a time, your schedule will fall into place, things will get better, and there will be lots of time to play with them. Babies can sense if you are stressed out. Don't feel bad about taking some time for yourself to keep from going crazy. Nap when they nap if you can. Housecleaning can wait. Hire some help if you can in the beginning if you don't have family that can help you out.

 

QUOTE(KYsweetheart @ Jun 22 2007, 12:39 PM) [snapback]303108[/snapback]
Be prepared to loose quit a bit of sleep... and have stupid arguments in the middle of the night with DH, LOL



QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Jun 22 2007, 12:47 PM) [snapback]303125[/snapback]
Sleep when the babies are sleeping, even though there may be a million things to do...sleep.

These are my top two bits of advice. Just remember if you are bickering with DH due to sleep deprevation to make it clear that in the morning what ever happens in the middle of night due to lack of sleep is forgotten and over with.

 

I go along with the crying thing people have said. You are only one person and their are two of them. Sometimes one of them just has to cry - it can be overwhelming and make you feel bad - but try not to let it get to you.

The other thing would be - your house doesn't have to be spotless! Just enjoy the babies - before you know it they will be going off to school!

 

Don't lose sight of the fact that IT DOES GET BETTER. The first few months are magical, but can be sheer ****. So many others have gotten through it and you will too. It's so hard to remember, or even realize in the moment, that is just that--a moment, and moments go by and the next one can be much better. Along the same line of thought, a lot of what babies do is just a phase. When the girls would start waking at odd times for no reason, or when I thought the demon-like spit up sessions would NEVER end, I would try to remember my mantra: it is just a phase, it is just a phase...

 

Set up help for yourself for as long as you can.

 

Try to take a shower everyday... really you may feel like you have NO time but it always felt like a new begining (even at 6 PM or 5 AM) You get at least 10 minutes alone and you even get some relaxation from the heat and steam.... it really will make you feel like a whole new woman. Plus this is one time when your DH will HAVE to be alone with the babies w/out your help. Our power was out yesterday AM and I didnt know what to do with myself until noon when it came back on and I got to get my shower!!

 

My biggest advice would be to try to keep it all in perspective. When you are workin on an hour of sleep here and there, you can go crazy! I was lucky to get my husband to take paternity leave their first month of life to help esp. during NICU (he travels 100%). We used to watch silly pop videos at 3am and goof off... theyre only going to be that small and that demanding for a short while!!
Shoot- I look at my three year old and it seems like yesterday I brought her home!!!!!

 

QUOTE(KYsweetheart @ Jun 22 2007, 11:39 AM) [snapback]303108[/snapback]
Be prepared to loose quit a bit of sleep... and have stupid arguments in the middle of the night with DH, LOL


In the morning, we would ask each other what just happened in the middle of the night! We turned crazy during some nights!!!


Try to get out as much as possible. It is not good to be in all day everyday. With or without the babies.
Ask for help from family or friends.

 

If there is any way possilbe, try and get some help at night for the first few weeks/month. Whether that is family or someone you have to pay, IMO it is invaluable. I didn't do this, was sure I could handle things on my own. I ended up getting very sick and getting pneumonia, was hospitalized for 10 days when the babies were one month old. Hindsight is 20/20, but when I was really struggling, I should have reached out and asked for help. Don't be afraid to do that if it gets really difficult.

 

Feel free to cry along with your babies.

My sister's MIL (who has teenage twin boys) told me to stay in my pajamas for the first 3 weeks AFTER bringing the girls home. She told me not to worry about anything other than caring for them. After those 3 weeks, she told me I needed to get out of my pajamas and gradually start taking more and more time for myself during the day, even if it is just to get dressed and blowdry my hair or put on makeup.

 

There are two mantras I continually chant to myself when all **** breaks loose:

1. Put out one fire at a time. (That is, if they are both crying/throwing up/the dog needs to go out/the phone is ringing/whatever, pick one twin and deal with it, then deal with the other twin. Ignore everything else.)

2. If they are crying, you know they are breathing.
I love this one. Your babies will cry. It will not last forever, just until you can get to them in a few minutes. (And don't forget that they won't remember!)

 

We have found that getting out of the house at least once a day makes a huge difference in how you feel (it forces you to get ready, get some fresh air etc.).

Reyna

 

Sleep when they are sleeping and try not to get stressed about housework it can be done at a later date x

 

Accept help.

 

if you are reading this and you are still pregnant - turn your computer off and get some sleep!! it's an emergency!!

if your babies are here - I guess my advice would be that nothing has to be perfect - just do what you can