what is the hardest thing about having twins for you?

I have 2 month old twins - at 4 AM last night during a feeding - I began to wonder what is the hardest part of having twins for everbody else and how have you attempted to solve this problem???

The hardest thing for me is at night - I feed them together - during the day I feed them seperately unless they are both crying at the same time to be fed - anyway when they are bein g fed together - my DS finishes first typically so as I am burping him my DD will finish - so she is either in her bouncy or boppy pillow and sometimes she will begin to choke/spit up due to not being burped. It makes me sad that all she needs is a couple of pats on the back and this would not occur. I do not have a solution yet.

Before my hardest thing was when I fed them seperately and one would begin to cry to be held/fed - now I have bouncy seat ready and a pillow so I can put the child being fed down with a propped pillow so I can attend to the other twin.

Anyway - just a curiousity question - having twins is much more challenging but it is rewarding. My DS laughed tonight numerous times - we caught it on videotape - it was SO cute!!

 

The hardest thing when they were little was dealing with two refluxers that were refusing bottles. Now, I would say the hardest part is being on the go so much with the older kids' sports and school schedules.

Even though it can be tough at times, they bring our whole family so much joy. I feel blessed to be a twin mommy, and wouldn't trade it for the world!

 

Well, that's kind of a hard question to answer because it seems like with each new stage there is something hard to deal with. But if I had to pick ONE thing that was by far the hardest, it was deffinately dealing with the lack of sleep during the newborn stage. My girls were feeding every 2-2.5 hours around the clock and I was exhausted and by myself during the day with the girls and doing all the nighttime feedings during the week when dh had to work. Then I threw my back out and well, it just made everything that much harder. Unfortunately, I didn't know about trying to get them on a 4 hour feeding schedule. Had I found this site earlier I would have probably gotten that suggestion but I didn't find this place until the girls were just over 4 months old. By and by most things get easier and easier but I DO NOT miss that newborn stage. It was SOOOOOOOOOOO HARD!!!

 

Definetly the nighttime is the hardest. At 8 months I have one solid sleeper and one that gets up EVERY hour. I'm one that needs 8+ hours of sleep to be functional and non grumpy at work during the day, so my work life is definetly suffering right now!

The other hardest part, which I am trying desperately to find a solution to, is leaving them at daycare every day. But until I can afford to stay home, that part I will have to deal with....

 

i also do not miss the newborn stage! those first few months are truly a blur, and mine are only 10.5 months old anyway!!!
but I think for me, the hardest thing was the napping. It was relatively easy to try to get them on and keep them on the same feeding schedule, but trying to get two babies to not only go to sleep around the same time, but to sleep the same length (or even a DECENT length!) was SOOO hard. all i wanted was them to sleep for at least 45 mins. at the same time so i could take a shower or get one or two things done. some days all i did was rock babies to sleep one after the other ALL DAY LONG.
oh, i am glad those days are (for the msot part) gone!
now that they are learning the joys of mobiltiy, the hardest part is getting them to lay DOWN and stay still to TAKE a nap or go to sleep at night!!!

 

1. NICU life and the fear of the unknown.

2. The 1st few months of being sleep deprived.

3. When they are BOTH crying and you are alone, and can't hold both to calm them is challenging for me too as I hate to see them cry and not be able to hold them both yet safely.

4. Trying to figure things out with 2 babies.

That's all I can think of for now, but I must say it is definitely alot easier now that I get sleep and can figure them out a bit better.

As far as comforting two babies, that part is still a challenge, and I've just come to terms that this too will get easier as they become more mobile and I can hold them safely together.

 

For me it was always people stopping me every two steps to comment! When you have little babies and you are out alone, you have a certain amount of time to get things done before the babies lose their patience! KWIM?

 

The first month was definitely the hardest with nighttime feedings. I did the majority of them myselves so I wasn't getting much sleep between newborn twins and a 2 1/2 year being woken by unfamiliar crying. Anyway it went fast and they started sleeping through the night fairly early. The hardest part now is going places by myself with older DD plus the twins.

 

The hardest thing about having twins is that there's only one of me.

The best thing about having twins is that there's TWO of them!

 

I still think listening to TWO crying babies is really the hardest thing for me, even now.

 

The first 6-8 weeks!
Then teething.
I also find getting out of the house a challenge - it is easier to stay home and I am a little jealous of my singleton-baby friends.

But I LOVE having twins. I love the way they interact. It is hard to lavish attention on one at a time, but I am enjoying both of them sooooo much. I feel sooooo lucky to have two beautiful, healthy little girls. I wouldn't trade for anything.

 

When they both cry and I am by myself.

 

Lack of sleep. I have epilepsy that is brought on by lack of sleep so that was a killer, so much better now. x

 

Sleep was always hard -- but finally at 11.5 mos we got my kids sleeping through the night - so life is much better.

I think the hardest thing for me *outside of sleep* is the ability to go out and run quick errands. I really wish that you could leave kids in the car for 10 mins some times just to run into the post office, etc. I find that I can only do quick errands without the boys.

I also miss being able to go out and do 4-5 stops in one afternoon. I now have to watch the clock and we usually only get 2 stops accomplished because the boys hate being taken out of and put back into their seats too many times, and we're always butting into a feeding time (snack, lunch, dinner) or nap time.

Oh well. Makes me plan my outings more strategically but less efficiently than I did before. I wonder why there are no grocery stores in outdoor shopping malls -- it would be such a great thing cause I'd only have to pull the boys out once and be able to hit numerous stores. Not sure if this is the same complaint of singleton moms -- I doubt it is.

Cheers,

Teri

 

I think the "hardest" thing changes for me every couple of months. The newborn stage was difficult, especially since our DDs were preemies with reflux and one still had apnic episodes while eating on occasion...I could NEVER feed them at the same time...feeding times were miserable if they were both hungry and I was alone! That passed. The reflux has been a challenge throughout, but it's more manageable now.

I think having two sick babies (vs. one) is always difficult!! Less sleep, more crying.

The other thing I constantly struggle with is feeling guilty when I can only snuggle one at a time. I feel like it's difficult to get one-on-one time when they're both awake. So, I end up finding activities that both can do while getting my attention...reading, playing on a blanket with toys. I don't feel like I get a lot of snuggly time though

But, I LOVE having twins and it seems to keep getting more fun and exciting each day

 

For me:
1-Sleep deprivation--STILL!!!!!!!!!!

2-The spats between me and my husband due to the sleep deprivation.

3-The fact that I cannot get my MIL to understand that I my situation of having 3 kids under 3 is not the same as her having 2 babies 2 YEARS apart. Somehow she thinks it is the same.

Rachel

 

QUOTE(delby23 @ Sep 3 2007, 03:03 PM) [snapback]390877[/snapback]
The other thing I constantly struggle with is feeling guilty when I can only snuggle one at a time. I feel like it's difficult to get one-on-one time when they're both awake. So, I end up finding activities that both can do while getting my attention...reading, playing on a blanket with toys. I don't feel like I get a lot of snuggly time though


this-I get jealous of singleton moms who can give their babies undivided attention!

 

Congrats on your babies! Let's see, I of course will agree the sleep deprivation in the beginning, and I hemoraged 3 weeks after birth so it was awful not being with them as I wanted...but now, The girls are 11 months today!~ and I'd have to say currently the most challenging is keeping them out of trouble! They started walked a few weeks ago and one goes left and the other right....when I'm alone I am SWEATING chasing them!!!

My saviour...right now Baby Einstein! whoever says TV is bad can spend an hour at my house

Enjoy!

 

In addition to the usual stuff (sleep deprivation, both crying at once, etc), what's really hard for me is worrying about favoritism. I don't want to shortchange either of them. I feel really guilty about treating them differently in some ways, even though I know it's what they need. For example, DS really needs to CIO a little before naps, but I never let DD CIO. DS can't get to sleep without blowing off some steam & venting his baby angst; but DD goes to sleep very well on her own unless something is actually wrong, like hunger or gas. I feel like a horrible mom rushing in to DD if she cries and ignoring DS - even though that's just the way they work, with their different personalities.

 

So far....

1)The absolute hardest thing for me was the whole breastfeeding thing. I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed both girls, but came to realize at 7 weeks that no matter how hard I was trying it just wasn't working. I had been put on an estrogen cream (which can dry up your milk some), was completely stressed out, was feeding the girls on the hour for almost a whole hour for several days in a row and realized they were dehydrated and not getting enough no matter how much they nursed. I was getting physically sick from stress and the constant nursing. When we started supplementing it was like a huge burden was lifted...it was such a bittersweet thing.

2)Both crying at once
3)feeling like I don't have time for my older daughter (that has gotten better now)

 

The hardest thing for me was the first 2 months of sleep deprivation, it felt like it would never end. Now I would have to say it's when they are both crying at once, that is so frustrating for me.

 

QUOTE(HeyThere @ Sep 2 2007, 10:45 PM) [snapback]390462[/snapback]
For me it was always people stopping me every two steps to comment! When you have little babies and you are out alone, you have a certain amount of time to get things done before the babies lose their patience! KWIM?



This also drives me nuts, it is not as bad now anymore, but when they were very young it would make me mad, because my precious time was slipping away.
I also found it very hard to make sure they were drinking enough, and to me they never were ardon:
I just wanted to comment on the burping that you mentioned, maybe you can solve the problem by stopping them both mid bottle to burp so that the one finishing last would'nt spit up so much.

 

1)Definitely the first few months with the sleep deprivation. those night feedings were brutal.
2)Breastfeeding was also really difficult at first.
3)Now it's hard when both are crying at the same time. Luckily it doesn't happen often for mine.
4) the other really hard thing is just getting out and about with them. It's not fast and you really can't get much done on one trip.

But of course as others have said, it's so great having 2 as well. the best is seeing them interact with each other. they make each other smile and laugh. it's so cute.

 

It has gotten much easier now that they are a little older. I think from the very beginning until right now, the hardest part is to maintain my cool when they are both screaming/crying at the same time. There have been times that I have to walk away and count down from 10. I can handle pretty much everything else.

 

The hardest things for me have been (in order):
1) when both of them cry at once, and I'm alone with them
2) trying to coordinate getting stuff done around TWO babies' feedings, naptimes, diaper changes etc.
3) getting two babies with different sleep patterns to nap for a decent amount of time in the same room (we're still working on this one).
This is the most challenging AND rewarding time of my life!

 

It has always been when they both cry at the same time and I have to try to "triage" their needs. I can't stand to hear them cry! I still get sick to my stomach when they REALLY get going.

 

The hardest things for me are:


1. When they refuse to eat/reflux. Both DD and DS go through little spurts where they will eat 2 ounces and then refuse the rest. They both have a little reflux that seems to come and go and some feedings are easy and some are screaming back arching messes...it is frustrating to know that they want to eat but it is hurting them.

2. Keeping them from waking eachother up. We run in and grab them in the middle of the night at the smallest peep because we don't want them to wake the other up. Daytime is easier because we put them in different rooms for naps.

3. Leaving them with the nanny, or anyone else for that matter. It gives me anxiety and I end up staying and helping the entire time instead of going upstairs and working or relaxing.

4. My DS will not eat for anyone but me and it is a RREEAALL problem.

They are 3 months old now and I am really really starting to understand what this is all about, and, loving it!!!!

Amy

 

The hardest part for me really is the sleep deprivation and that is tied with the stress between DH and I while we were still trying to figure all this out! But we are pretty good now and both really involved!! I keep telling myself they will eventually sleep all night ... I am praying for that day and praying it will come without having to CIO!!

 

getting out is getting harder to do w/ my 3yo DD wanting to run and play and me trying to push 2 babies along in the sng to keep up (still working on getting a new stroller!)

not having any "me" time unless you count sleeping at night

 

The hardest thing, by far, for me is having to figure out how to divide my time between my three. Sometimes I feel really helpless when everyone needs me at once and sometimes a bit guilty for not giving 'enough' attention to any one child.

 

Right now my DH is gone for 3 months so the hardest part is doing everything alone with no breaks. I agree with PPs that when they are both crying and I am alone with them it is hard.

 

QUOTE
For me it was always people stopping me every two steps to comment! When you have little babies and you are out alone, you have a certain amount of time to get things done before the babies lose their patience! KWIM?


This is so true. I was at a festival this weekend, it was hot and crowded and I was really trying to find a place to stand in the shade and cool off. People were bombarding me!! There is no moment of solitude when out in public in twins. It's fun for the most part, but sometimes you do just want to blend in. Those days are over!!

Also, of course, the first 8 weeks was brutal. Absolutely brutal. My daughter was 22 months old when the twins were born and long story short, I got sick, it turned into pneumonia and I was put in the hospital for almost 2 weeks when the boys were 1 month old. That was absolutely the darkest moment of all so far.

The sleep deprivation quite literally, almost killed me. It was so, so, hard.

I was also racked with guilt for not being able to devote 100% attention to my little girl, I felt like she got the shaft and seriously questioned my decision to have more children, especially that close in age to my DD. I also felt guilty for not being able to give each twin my undivided attention enough. I still do. I try to divide my time between the 3, but honestly there is only so much of me and so many hours in the day.